Showing posts with label Creative Contentment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Creative Contentment. Show all posts

That Time We Almost Moved (And Why I'm More Content Now)



Let's start from the very beginning, shall we?

A few months before Derek and I got married, we bought a house.  Derek lived in it while we were in engaged, and I moved in when we got married.  We searched high and low for a house that I felt good about.  Our budget was not big at all, and a lot of the houses we could afford were..."yucky" might be the right word.  Still we kept looking, and one day our realtor showed us this house.  It had an old, outdated kitchen without a dishwasher, a bathroom that can only be described as "blah", and a rough-hewn wood ceiling that aged into a yellow-y orange.  But the ceilings were vaulted, and there was an unfinished, walk-out basement.  We bought it.

My dad remodeled the kitchen as our wedding present (for which I am eternally grateful, especially for the dishwasher).  When Wyatt was on the way, we finished the basement.  I painted and decorated, and while it was far from what I wanted it to be, it was cozy.

One day when I was pregnant with Clarice (4th baby) my mom and I drove by a house that was for sale, and I immediately fell in love with it.  Of course it was a house that was just outside of the price range that we could afford.  I schemed about how we could make it work, dreamed of all the space we would have in that new house, and checked every couple of days to see if it had sold.  It eventually did, and not to us.

The seeds of discontent were planted.   Everything we hadn't updated in our home was starting to look particularly old and grubby.  Already, with only three kids on the outside and one on the way, our 2000 square feet was starting to feel small.

The next year, after keeping an eye to see if anything we liked as well as that dream house would come on the market, we decided to stay put and update ours.  We updated almost everything in the house, and it felt brand-new.  But every now and then, when we had a particularly grumpy day in our tiny house (tiny for 7 people and a dog, anyway), I'd check the market to see if anything else looked interesting.

That's how we came across a house we liked last week.

It was bigger.  It had more land around it.  It had a hot tub.  It had a formal dining room.  It had a partially finished basement that might allow for more bedrooms and a playroom.  I dreamed of sending the kids downstairs to play in their perfectly decorated space on days when the noise got to be too much.  I dreamed of how I'd turn the dining room into a homeschool nook, a place to organize all our books and supplies.  I dreamed of finding toys in the living room and being able to just through them into a play room.

This house had been on the market for five months, an eternity in an area where things are getting snatched up in days.  Though most contingent offers are being rejected right now, our realtor thought that probably wouldn't be the case with a house that had been on the market so long.  We made an offer on it.

Derek started scrambling to replace old doorknobs we never got to during our remodel, to paint the trim.  I started making a mental checklist of what would need to be done before we could list our house for sale, and I bought boxes from Walmart since our agent thought we should list it in a mere four days.  I spent an entire day cleaning and organizing and making the house look perfect, ready to be listed as soon as we heard the word.

They counter-offered.  We counter-offered, pretty generously, sent a nice letter - but we needed the deal to be contingent.  We have five kids, we need to have somewhere to live, after all.

They rejected all contingencies.  Even though the house has been on the market for five months, with no other current offers.  "Why can't they just sell their house first, and then maybe...?" said the selling agent.

Why couldn't we sell our house first? 

The thing is, through this whole thing, I've figured out that somewhere along the way, I kind of fell in love with the house we have.  After 10 years, I have the right furniture figured out to make it feel functional and not cluttered.  I have the walls decorated the way I want them.  We've put in blood, sweat, and tears (literally), to make the whole thing comfortable and functional for our family.  I can see us here in five years.  There aren't very many houses that come on the market that make me feel the same way.

Somewhere along the way, I accidentally became content with where I am, and what I have.

After struggling so long with comparison and discontentment, I have finally realized what is special about what we have, and learned to be thankful for it.

This house is small, yes, but it is customized to our family.  We made it what we want, working with what we had.  As our family has grown and our house has not, I've learned how to choose between what can stay and what has to go, to learn how to be more organized and less of a hoarder.  We've stretched our living space to the outside, with a large porch and deck furniture that makes me feel like we're on vacation.  We have songbirds in the pine tree outside the window, and hummingbirds that count on us to feed them in the summer.  We have neighbors that don't mind our dog roaming around on their property, because we don't mind when their dogs roam on ours.  We have a sunny, wooded lot.  We have firewood stacked next to the shed, and a wood stove that keeps us warm and lets us cook when the power goes out.  It's painted the perfect color to be a backdrop for my Instagram photos (Le Luxe by Behr, in case you were wondering).  It's got a huge paved area where the kids ride bikes, and practice fledgling basketball skills.  It's where we brought all our babies home.  It has our memories.

I'm not going to put all that at risk for a maybe.

So we're staying put, and right after we made that decision yesterday, I crawled into bed after snuggling on the couch and watching the Bachelorette with Derek.  I opened my Bible app, and it was still on the chapter I flipped to when looking up a reference for Bible time with the kids that morning.  I was tired, and couldn't remember where in Leviticus I've been reading, and 1 Timothy seemed a little easier on my brain.  I scrolled up and read these words:

"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and darkness.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.  It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

But as for you, O man of God, flee from these things.  Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.  Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called...I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus...to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ...To Him be honor and eternal dominion.  Amen."

1 Timothy 6:6-14

It seems right to me somehow that I would just happen upon that chapter after we let go of the idea of a bigger house.  Because the key to contentment is right there - did you catch it?

Pursue righteousness.  Godliness.  Faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.

Fight the good fight of the faith.

Take hold of eternal life to which you were called.

Keep the commandment free from reproach.

To Him be honor and eternal dominion.

Could I do all that if/when we get a bigger house?  Sure.  But I also can do all that just as well here.  Maybe I'll even learn to do it better, within the limitations of the walls of this small house.  Because when we learn to take our focus off the temporary and onto the things that will last forever...well there you go.  That's the secret to contentment.

And that's when you learn to be thankful for the good things you do have too, because a too-cramped house all of a sudden feels like a bonus when you have your life in focus, on the things that matter eternally.  On Christ.

So there you go.  The time we almost moved, and why it's overall really not that big of a deal after all.

(Also, I'm not going to lie, it's a huge relief that my house can be messy again!)

(Also again, I never did share the pictures of our home after the last major remodel a couple years ago.  Methinks it's time for a house tour.  Stay tuned!)


Don't Be Like Bob

(Four of my blessings.)


"Ah, you're Callie.  I've heard of you.  The one thing I know about you is that you have a lot of kids...so I guess I also know that you're insane."

Hardy, har, har.

Believe it or not, someone who was also a fellow Christian, by the way - we'll call him, Bob - actually said this to me once.  I gave out an incredulous "ha!" and then sat there in silence.  This is where I wish sometimes that I was a little quicker on my feet.  What I wanted to say was, "Oh, nice to meet you, Bob.  I guess the one thing I know about you is that you haven't read Psalm 139, where it says children are a reward from the Lord, and a blessing.  Buh-less-ing!"

But of course, I didn't say that, because that would be rude (hint, hint, Bob).

The reason I bring this up is because I saw a sketch on Facebook yesterday that made me laugh (you can see it here).  A stick figure family with six children and one on the way have their mouths hanging open, while another stick figure man says "You know what causes that, right?" Underneath it says "This is Bob.  Bob does not recognize blessings.  Don't be like Bob."

Apparently there are a lot of Bobs out there.  

Of course I thought it was funny because of my own experiences, so I shared it.  And then I sat there and remembered the story I shared above.  And then I had a startling realization.

Sometimes, I am also a Bob.  Because sometimes, I don't recognize blessings.  

Isn't that what discontentment is, after all?  We forget to recognize and thank God for the blessings we have.  We think what we have isn't good enough, or isn't enough, period.  We want more...more excitement, more recognition, more experiences, more things (even good things) - and when we focus so much on what we're missing, we forget about the things that we have.  The things God has so graciously given us.  

Maybe we don't actively ridicule those blessings like my Bob did, we're just overlooking them or minimizing them.  Those are two different things of course, but in practice, isn't it the same thing?  We're an ungrateful people, and whether with derision, or indifference and greediness, we snub God's good gifts as spoiled children would.  And when I say "we", I mean me.  So when I say this next part, it's a challenge to me more than it's a challenge to you.

Don't be like Bob.


Creative Contentment | A 100 Days Project


One of my unspoken goals for the year has been to get better at budgeting.

Recently I was reminded of why I need this so much when a friend mentioned a deal she found on some new clothing items.  Did I need new clothing?  No, but it didn't stop me from browsing the internet in search of a similar deal.  I have three new garments to show for it, and though I stayed within my budget to buy them, and they were good buys that will fit into my wardrobe nicely, it still makes me a little unnerved each time I look at them.  Because I know they were bought from an ugly place.  A place of discontent.

2018 so far has brought to light my personal discontent in ways I didn't expect.  The budgeting and finance issues are just one aspect - at various times over the last few years I have felt discontent with my schedule, discontent with our food, discontent with our house.  I have felt discontent with how ordinary my days are, how little I accomplish in a day, the quality of the books I'm crossing off my to-be-read list, the number on the scale.  I've felt discontent with my homeschool community (or rather lack thereof), and discontent with my walk with the Lord (because I wish I had more time and was better at making it a priority!).  

Basically, I'm tired of being discontent.

I recently saw that the #100daysproject is starting up on Instagram, and I mulled over the idea of joining in.  I did 31 Days Of Writing last October and loved being able to focus my posts around a certain theme on this blog, and I liked the idea of doing it again.  

As I was sitting there, running through different topics or activities that wouldn't be too burdensome in my current stage of life (and also wondering if it's cheating somehow to write about the project on my blog instead of Instagram), I remembered my blog friend Cassidy doing a 31 Days project on contentment a few years back.  Many blog friends have participated in these challenges over the years, but for some reason Cassidy's series stuck with me.  Perhaps because contentment is something I struggle with off and on too.  

Then it came to me: creative contentment.  If I was going to do a 100 Days Project, that's what I'd like it to be on.  Thinking outside the box when it comes to practicing contentment - figuring out strategies to help myself rest in contentment, and improving my circumstances and attitude where I am right now, with what I have right now.

I think I'm just going to go for it.  Will I write every day about this on the blog?  No, but I am hoping to seriously think about and practice contentment in different areas of my life every day for the next 100 days, and write something related to this topic at least once a week right here (and maybe occasionally on Instagram too).  That counts right?  That's my plan.

So consider this the first installment, and expect more on Thursdays or Fridays for the next few months!




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