To Trust Him (And A Good Cry)

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel like crying all day long?

Usually it's about stupid little things or irrational worries. But it doesn't matter that they're stupid and little, because they seem like they are such a big deal. It doesn't matter that your fears are irrational, because all you can see is the worse thing that could happen.

Then when any little thing goes wrong it just sets you off, and you just go throw yourself on the bed and cry your eyes out?

Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry. After you have a good cry everything seems better.

On the other hand, I'm not sure a good cry really accomplishes anything. It's ridiculous to let yourself get so worked up over little things, when you could turn everything over to the Lord, and He would handle it just fine.

Do we not believe that He can handle it just fine? For me, I don't think that's the case - I know He can handle all my problems, I just worry that He won't choose to handle them in the way I want Him to handle them.

For me, it's more about wanting my own way. Do I not believe that the Lord knows what I need and will work it out in a way that will be for my own good? No, I know that as well. I know it with my rational head, but my irrational heart is sometimes full of disbelief and "what ifs".

What a girl really needs more than a good cry is to hand her problems over to her Jesus, and trust Him to work out the details.

I love this quote by J. I. Packer in his book Knowing God:

"Such trust is vital; it is in truth the mainspring of the life of faith, which without it becomes a life of at least partial unbelief."

The Bible is very clear that the man who trusts in the Lord is blessed (Psalm 40:4, 84:12). Does this mean blessed with the answers to all our problems? I don't think so - I think it means that man will be blessed with a peace and joy that surpasses understanding.

And that's worth more than the answers to all our problems, because through the process we grow. One would never learn the joy of trusting God if all the answers to his problems were given to him immediately.

Why is it that with each new problem I must re-learn to trust the Lord? It shouldn't be so hard. But I suspect that it will get easier with each subsequent trial. At least I hope so.

But maybe trusting isn't something you achieve permanently, maybe it's more of a continual process - and you grow more and more through each different situation by applying the same lesson that you've learned a hundred times before.

I think we must consciously choose to believe Him and choose to trust Him for all that we need before any real trustful feelings even appear. It's a choice to believe his Word, and believe that all things work out for the good of those the love Him (Romans 8:28).

Is He worthy of my trust? Yes. He's shown me that many times before, and He's always taken care of me. Maybe not in the exact way I wanted, but He's never let me down. I have no reason to believe He'll start now. He'll give me courage and strength to face each new situation in life with my heart resting in Him.

Am I most happy when He gives me an answer? No. I'm most happy when I've reached the place where I will trust Him regardless of what happens.

He knows my needs (Matthew 6:32). He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7).

I am His beloved child.

He proved that to me in a very practical way last night.

The Bible says that He grants sleep to those He loves (Psalm 127:2).

After my good cry last night I've had the best sleep that I've had all week.


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Chloƫ said...

Oh girl, I totally get EVERYTHING you said in this post. Why DO we have to relearn to trust with every new problem. But yes, it is true that without these seemingly monstrous problems that we would never really learn to trust our Lord.

Praying for you today.

ps. I've left you something on my blog today. Hope it makes you smile. :]

Rachel and John said...

I feel like when you give in to the big cry, you're giving it all to God. You're letting it go and tusting God to make things right (whatever right is). God comforts us, which is why we always feel better after the big cry. I do always wonder, Am I actually trusting in God all the time? It's easy to doubt yourself. The fact that we question out trust in God shows that we are trying to trust him. Or else it wouldn't even cross our minds. If you need someone to talk to, you can always email me!

Jessica said...

Wow, I seriously had this exact conversation with myself earlier today! How crazy, it's like you took the thoughts right out of my head :-)

I'm really struggling right now. I know that I can trust God, and that He will take care of me, and that He knows what's best for me in my life right now.

HOWEVER, as you said, I'm afraid that His plan or His timing are not what I want them to be! I realized today that I need to let go. As much as I want to control the situation and worry constantly, I need to let go and God will take care of it. As much as it hurts right now, He is making me wait and trust Him for a reason.

Even if it's not easy or not fun, He is using whatever situation we are in to build our testimonies and shape us into the women that He wants us to be. And as much as I want what I want right now, I would never want to compromise that!

I'm so glad that someone else out there seems to be going through the same thing I am. God really is in control, because I really needed to read this right at this very moment. I feel so comforted!

Thanks so much for sharing this!

Nicole Z said...

What a wonderful post! You beautifully worded what I struggle with day in and day out. You also brought up some great points that I know I needed to hear. Thanks for your honesty and transparency - you're not alone out there :) Praying for you and everyone else who goes to battle daily :)

And Rachel you are so right! Both about the big cry and us questioning means we're trying. What an inspirational post and comments - it makes my heart so happy :)

Anonymous said...

this is such a beautiful post!! I agree with everything and you displayed it in such moving words. Thank you.

Anne said...

Amen! It's so easy for me to know these things when I'm not in the midst of it, but so hard to remember when I am.

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