Do you ever feel unimportant?

My sister and I often joke about how if we died today, most people on Facebook wouldn't even notice that we were gone.

I've kind of been in that role my whole life. In high school especially, I was the goody-two-shoes, the girl who everyone liked, but no one remembered to invite to their party. The girl that was always around, but it was really rather inconsequential whether I was there or not. The girl that no one bothered to gossip about, because who cares what she's doing anyway?

Actually, I don't mind that last one - I don't like people sticking their noses in my business when I don't want their noses in it. But still.

Okay, maybe those previous statements are not entirely true. I've always had several really good friends who would definitely care if I died.

I'm still somewhat in that same postition, though it's not as bad as it was for me as a teenager. I have better groups to be a part of now, more like-minded friends. But there are still those days where I just feel left out.

But at a certain point I realized, why is it important to me that I'm important to people whose opinion doesn't really matter anyway? The only Person whose opinion really matters is Jesus.

I realized that all those times when I asked myself why I didn't fit in, it was a silly thing to ask. If doing the right thing meant I wouldn't fit in, then so be it. I'm not living to please people - I'm living to please God.

I'd rather have a good, clean reputation than get invited to everyone's events. I'd rather have a few close friends than have a million "friends" who don't really care about me. I'd rather reach out and touch people for the Lord than be the girl everyone wants to talk to for shallow reasons.

I struggled with feeling unimportant in high school. I don't anymore. I am important in Someone's eyes. Important enough to die for. I'd rather live my life to bring glory to Him. And if living for Him and being who He made me to be makes me unimportant to some people, I'd still rather choose Him every time.

However, my sister and I do have arrangements to hack into each other's accounts if one of us dies, and let everyone know why we're not posting anymore.

Because a girl just wants people to know if she's dead.

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Brittney Galloway said...

That last sentence cracked me up! I've been thinking about this alot lately too. This is the first time in my life that I'm away from my circle of Best Friends from childhood. I'm having to make normal friends and I struggle with the why of it all.

Natalie said...

even though this made me sad, i love that the reason you feel left out is because of JESUS! Just remember that he felt the exact same way. It's cool not to fit in if it means standing up for your beliefs and pleasing Him, right?!
You are awesome!

LeAnna said...

This is so true! My Mom and I were just talking this morning about how people like to gripe at us for the way we live (which is God, family, and then others...) yet they don't think anyone should find it odd the way they live (where God is NOT priority, nor are their families) - anyway, we were talking about how the Word says that in this World we would have troubles, and that God clearly states that if they hate Him, they'll hate us too. While I realize you weren't talking of hate, I think it resonates somewhat the same. When we're seeking to please Him first, society isn't going to be the first to notice. And that's the way it's supposed to be when you're not living for yourself. We know WHO sees, knows, and cares, and that's the greatest thing.

But yah, it's nice to know there will be people care about you when you go missing. :)

Lauren said...

Girl, I've so been in the same boat as you. I actually have some super close friends now; but I definitely feel very unimportant at times in my life!

Jessica said...

I was just talking about this to my husband this morning! I've been feeling the same way...thanks for reminding me that life isn't about impressing everyone around us, but living our life for God :)

Stephanie said...

Callie, I only "know" you through your blog, but from what I can tell, you are an amazing, fun, Christ-like person! If we lived remotely close, I would invite you to my parties. Umm...if I had parties, that is.
p.s...last sentence almost made me fall off my chair, laughing.

Jen | Our Life Accounts said...

hahaha, that last line was hilarious! I have always informed my husband that if I die, he has to post it on my blog! *smirk* because seriously, that should be his top priority!

On a more serious note, I totally understand where you are coming from. I was always the social outcast, different and uncool. Mostly because of my faith and unbringing, being from a large family and homeschooling didn't help either. I stuck out like a sore thumb in college too, and it's always been tough not having a lot of friends, particularly likeminded girls. I guess it's good for me though because when there is no one else to talk to, it helps remind me that God's ready and waiting!

AmyK said...

I've had to learn this, too. There has only been a short time in my life that I had close friends that I felt like truly cared about me--three years ago for only about a year. But then I was reminded in the Word of how Jesus was rejected--John 15:18-19 says, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you."

What a blessing to be rejected by the world if it means being chosen of God!

(totally irrelevant, but my word verification for this comment? "fries." And now I'm hungry. lol)

Kristin said...

Hello! Ok, so I'm so bummed that I'm JUST NOW finding your blog (since many of my blog friends and followers seem to be yours too-shame on them for not sharing how wonderful you are!). As I was reading your profile, we have SO much in common! Well, except hunting. I'm not a hunter :-) Pretty much everything else though ;-). I was really touched by this post because I feel this way often. It's hard when your friends, your really good kindred friends, move away, and you're the one left behind. Now, in the season that we're in (married w/o kids...by choice) there just aren't many other couple around us that are like us. That have the same interests, desire for fellowship, freedom to be spontaneous, content with where they are, etc. It's really hard some days. That's one reason that I started blogging, and I have found many wonderful Kindred Spirits though it! And of course I'm eternally thankful for my soulmate - to be married to your very best friend...what could be better? Of course I still long for dear local girlfriends that I can call at the drop of a hat to go grab coffee - or for support on an emergency shoe shopping trip! Maybe one day... Anyway, just wanted to say hi, and how lovely it was to meet you! Look forward to getting to know you better if you're interested in a new "bloggy friend"... ~Kristin from Windy Poplars

Anonymous said...

Oh Callie... you make me so sad!!! How come I never knew you felt that way growing up?!! And you were only my dearest friend!! You are so not unimportant!!
We need to get together sometime!!

Jessica said...

I was that girl too in high school! I was practically invisible. But I came to the same realization at some point too...that it doesn't matter! Because I am loved :-) Great post!

Anne said...

I can totally relate to feeling left out sometimes and not important. I know that this is not true, but I really struggle with focusing on the times where I do get left out and forget about all the people who do love and care about me. But you are so right - there is only One whose opinion of us really matters and if we focus on how much He loves us nothing else matters. Great post! :)

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