Gender Reveal Parties - Narcissistic Or A Fun Idea?


It is the first thing everyone asks you when they find out you're pregnant - do you know if it's a boy or girl? Apparently, the answer is what people want to know, and these days couples have been coming up with more interesting ways to reveal whether they'll be shopping for pink or blue items.

Gender reveal parties are a fairly recent trend - basically the parents-to-be keep the gender a secret until the party, then invite people and reveal the gender in some creative way. The gender could be revealed by cutting a cake with blue or pink icing on the inside, opening an envelope with the answer on the inside, opening a bag containing pink or blue balloons, or any other fun thing you can think of.

I have read several blogs about different gender reveal parties, and they all looked like such fun, so after we found out we were going to have a baby, I decided that I'd like to do one too. Derek was on board with the idea as well, so that was all the encouragement I needed. We're finding out the gender on October 26th, so we decided to do our party on October 30th, and I realized I needed to start brainstorming for ideas.

What better tool for brainstorming than Google, I ask you? So I sat down in front of the laptop and got to work.

I'm still working out all the details, but as I was searching the web for ideas, I came across a few different articles against gender reveal parties. I was kind of surprised, but I read the articles to see what the complaints were.

One person stated that they thought gender reveal parties were just an excuse to get more gifts. I clearly stated on our invitations that no one was to bring us gifts, so that one I dismissed. There's the baby shower still, and I agree that asking people to bring gifts for the gender reveal party and the baby shower is a bit much.

Other sites argued that gender reveal parties are narcissistic and obnoxious. They said it presumptuous to think that people are going to care that much about your baby's gender, and it's rude to ask everyone to give up an entire afternoon/evening to come to your party.

I guess in a way I can see their point. Maybe it is narcissistic to hold an entire party just to tell the gender of your baby. And maybe people really don't want to have to come to another party for you, and you shouldn't expect them to.

Derek and I hardly ever have barbecues or parties at our house, even though we'd like to have people over more often. But it seems weird to throw a party for no reason, other than the fact that we just wanted to have a get together. So when the gender reveal party idea presented itself, I jumped on it, because it was a good excuse to have my close family and friends over for some good food, games, and other party stuff.

Plus from everything else I read, it just looked like alot of fun. Personally, I love going to these kind of things, and I wish I knew more people getting married or graduating or having babies so that I could be invited to more parties. Maybe other people don't like going to these events as much as I do, but the thought never crossed my mind.

I don't think motivations for throwing a gender reveal party would always qualify as narcissistic. In my case, I'm not really expecting people to care about the gender as much as I do - to me, it was just a good excuse to have a party. I don't want anyone to bring me gifts. And I only invited my close family and friends who I thought would really like to come (my apologies if any of you really don't want to come, and please don't feel obligated to make an appearance).

What do you think? Do think the gender reveal party trend is narcissistic or obnoxious, or do you think it's just a fun idea? Would you throw a gender reveal party? I'm curious to know what you all think.








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T and C said...

I think having a gender reveal party is such a fun idea! I love an excuse to host a party and announcing your baby's gender is a fantastic one! I thought about having a gender reveal party, but I knew I couldn't keep the secret long enough! Ha!

Chloƫ said...

First of all, that sounds like such a cute idea! We don't plan on finding out our baby's gender when I'm pregnant, but if we did, I would definitely consider a gender reveal party! :]

And second, I don't think your intentions are obnoxious at all. However, I can see how some people could definitely take it a whole big level of obnoxious. Like if they invited everyone and their mother, didn't specifically say no gifts and expected everyone to make as big a deal out of it as they do. I feel like especially more well-off moms who start having babies in their 30s could have a tendency to be like this...not to try and stereotype people, I'm just hoping you get my point.

Anyway, it sounds like a great idea and if you're inviting those who are close to you, chances are they'll be very excited and honored to come! :]

{ps. you should totally make a strawberry cake for a girl or dye a vanilla cake blue for a boy. So fun!}

MrsErvin said...

I think they are super fun! Your friends and family are probably just as anxious as you are to know :) We had a gender reveal party for Em, but we only invited the grandparents over. Then with Eli we made our Christmas cards from "Emma and her baby brother, Eli." Both were really fun.

Kelley said...

i like the idea!

Julie S. said...

I think gender reveal parties are a fun idea! I would personally never do it that way only because our extended families (mainly my hubby's) are so huge that the thought of that many people being over at once makes my anxiety crazy. I don't think it's narcissistic at all! Those close to you will want to be in on celebrating EVERY step of your new little one!

Mrs. A said...

We're doing one for family and we're excited about it. We also stated no gifts and that we really just wanted to have everyone over to celebrate this special time in our lives.

katie said...

I think they sound like a fun way to celebrate your pregnancy and the little person growing inside of you (a long time before they make an appearance)! I also like the anticipation of the party, since we no longer have to wait 9 months to know if its a boy or a girl, the party sort of replaces that anticipation (or I assume it would, as I have never been to one, but would quite like to have one if I ever have a little bun in the oven, etc.)

Brittney Galloway said...

I think the fact that you did not ask for presents makes it a classy get together. I haven't thought about it much, being as we are over here, on the other side of the world from our families, but if we were in the US, I would probably have one, but keep it real low key and just close friends and family too! Don't worry about those articles, there will always be haters!

5th Belle Avenue said...

We only had our families over. I don't think that's narcissistic at all, because they are going to find out the gender some way and some how, whether it's news over the phone or at your house. You might as well make it fun!

Amanda Godin said...

I love the idea of gender-reveal parties! I think it's cute and fun and another excuse to get together with friends and family. And, people that know you would know that you're not narcissistic, so that argument flies out the window, too. Have fun thinking of clever ideas for your party!

Anne said...

This is interesting. I'm not a huge fan of them, but I don't judge people who are. It's not my style, but I don't think you are narcisistic (sp?) or obnoxious for doing it - espeically as you explained your thought process.

I'm excited to find out what you are having though :)

Amber Hansen said...

I've actually never heard of such a party! I think it depends on your motivation for having it. In your case, it sounds like a great idea, and it should be a lot of fun! In other cases though, like you mentioned, it seems like it's just another gimmic to get gifts. I think that if it's just your closest friends and immediate family, it's perfectly fine. I think it could be narcissistic to make it into something big and invite everyone you know.

Have fun! Can't wait to hear what it is!

Natalie said...

i think it's cute! i don't think it's obnoxious at all! you should definitely do what you were planning on doing : )

Lauren said...

I think it's a really fun idea...I'm not sure if it's something we'll do once we have a little one on the way, but go for it! Any excuse for a party is a good one in my book!

Hannah said...

I think they are fun. We didn't do one because its not really Patrick or I's type of thing. I love going to them for other people. The one I posted about on my blog for my friend was a blast. The people you invite are going to be close to you guys and will be excited for you. It's a fun time to just celebrate new life in general and have a good time. I say go for it! And take lots of pics:)

Melanie said...

I think its a really fun idea to have a gender reveal party!! I'm alot like you..we don't have parties or get-to-gethers alot at our house either. It would be a great way to get those you love to come by for a fun evening..and find out exciting news!! Keep us posted on your party plans and how you go about doing it! Its something I'd like to do in the future as well! :-)

Mrs.LifeAccounts said...

It's funny because I've said for years that I wanted to throw a big party when we found out what we were having and then gender reveal parties started becoming trendy and I finally had a name for it! Thankfully no one around here is at all trendy and will not have ever heard of it so we'll be in the clear! That being said, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. We actually plan on throwing two, a smaller one right away for family and then a bigger barbeque style bash where we'll tell our friends (we'd like our families to be able to celebrate with us first). I know our families are going to be so excited when we announce a pregnancy and then the gender of the baby so we might as well throw a party and celebrate life right? I think some people can be obnoxious about it, but those same people were really obnoxious and bridezilla when they were getting married too so, I just generally don't tend to be friends with a lot of those people! ;)

Anonymous said...

We had one and I'm really glad that we did. We just invited our family that lived in town and then close friends that supported us doing our IVF journey. So it was more of a celebration of the miracle God has given us more than just a gender reveal party. I think that they are fun and it sounds like you are going it very tasteful. I came across the same articles a few months back when I was researching for our party and I couldn't believe some of the horrible things people were saying about them. I think it's great you said no gifts. Enjoy your special night. It's a wonderful reason to celebrate! :)

Megan said...

Sounds like fun! We decided not to find out baby's gender so we wouldn't have been able to have a reveal party...I'll be excited to see photos/hear about the party and see how it goes!

Rachel and John said...

I think the people who wrote that are just complainers. Of course people care what the gender is. Especially family. It's your baby, but it's their grandchild or niece/nephew.

Anonymous said...

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Diana Hill said...

I thought I was the only one in this boat! I really want to throw a gender reveal party (and we are) but I also read alot of negative feedback on it. I figure, it is just going ot be family and they don't have ot come if they don't want to. Also my husband and I don't know the gender either so it will be a fun surprise for everybody. No gifts here either! I am all for it! I don't think it is narrcissitic, it's outr first baby so I should just enjoy it all!

Inspired said...

I had a friend who did a Gender Reveal and they found out at the same time as their guests. All games were gender guessing driven and then when they bit into their cupcakes the frosting inside revealed to them all.

This is her description of her photo album on facebook (and her link, I'm sure she would friend you and you could view it!)

"When we went to our ultrasound we did not find out the gender of the baby. The technician put the results in a sealed envelope and I took that envelope to the bakery. They made cupcakes that had pink or blue frosting on the inside. When we all bit in...we found out together!!"

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=660846261&sk=info#!/album.php?aid=190834&id=634677080

I think we'll do something of this nature when the time comes! TOO fun.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely LOVE this idea! We are expecting our second child and did not find out the gender. My mom has asked us to commit to this idea because she'd like to throw us the party. I thought it would be perfect because the ultrasound tech misread the gender of our first child (told us we were having a girl and had a boy). AND now everyone wants to know if it's a girl or boy this time (hoping for a healthy baby girl)!

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