Spacing Babies

I've been reading alot of article related to ways to space your children lately. There seems to be two different schools of thought when it comes to spacing children.

There is the group that wants their kids to be close together in age so they will be closer friends as they grow up (or there may be other reasons).

There is the group that wants their kids spaced out more so the older child is more independent and they can give each new baby an equal amount of attention (there's probably other reasons here too).

Then there are those who only want one child anyway, so the discussion is irrelevant (would that make that three schools of thought?).

And there is probably even another philosophy on this whole subject that I'm not aware of yet!

Of course, I have my opinion, but I want to hear what all of you think about spacing kids.

If you have siblings, how many years apart were you? Did you like it or dislike it?

When you have kids, how do you think you'll space them? Or if you already have kids, how did you decide?

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Maybe this is a good time for another poll! Here are the results from the dinner poll last week:

How often do you make dinner for your family?

A. I make dinner every night. Very rarely do I not cook dinner: 29 (42%)

B. Four or five nights a week, when we don't eat out: 26 (38%)

C. Two or three nights a week. Sometimes we eat out or the hubby makes dinner: 10 (14%)

D. One or less nights a week. My husband cooks or we just eat out: 3 (4%)

Number of votes: 68


Honestly, I'm really impressed with how often you all make dinner! I actually probably fall somewhere between options C and D, depending on the week. Just being honest here. I'm attempting to get better at this though. Thanks to everyone who voted!

New question on baby spacing is up. Vote to the right. Or if you don't mind making your position public, comment below!



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Lauren said...

Funny you should post this because I have been thinking a lot about this lately and talking with several moms about this. Our son turned two this past May and we just started trying for baby number 2. We originally thought we were going to try back in October (when my son was 1.5 years) but I got nervous and we put it off until his second birthday. Sadly, I'm regretting this now and wish we already had baby two on the way. Had I known just how much more independent he would be already, I would not have given it a second guess. Hind sight is 20/20 though.

But I know, from experience, that we can plan all we want, but it is all in God's perfect timing...And so thankful it is!!!

Carly Anne said...

WOW - I am equally impressed with how many ladies make dinner every night. I am lucky if I follow through on making two meals a week. It's so tough to come home and cook after a full day of work.

As far as child spacing goes, I ideally want my kids close in age. Although, I realize that will make parenting an even more exhausting task than it already is...

Brittney Galloway said...

Huh, that's really interesting! I hadn't done any research on it yet (I tell people my body is still deflating from Grace when they ask when then next one is coming!) but I guess that makes sense.

I'll vote too, but my thought on it is that I'd love to have my kids close together, so that they would be close in age (my sis and I were 3 years a part and once she hit her teens that felt like a HUGE gap!) and so that later in life, if God provides a way, we could also adopt or do foster care.

chloƫ. said...

Josiah and I hope to wait until our baby is at least two years old, some for our sanity, but mostly because I read that it takes two years for your iron to build itself back up after pregnancy, and if you start out with low iron in a pregnancy, it will only get worse from there, making it harder for not only you, but the baby as well. I have low iron to begin with, so it would be healthiest in my situation to try to get it back to normal before another pregnancy.

Felicia said...

My sister and I were born a year less 12 days apart, and I was 4 and 7 when my brothers were born. For the most part I liked having my sister so close in age, we went through the same things around the same time and we had a lot of the same friends.

And I definitely remember when my brothers were born and giving them attention and wanting to help take care of them! Since we would like to have 4 kids, I would like to try to have 2 babies close together, wait a few years and then have 2 more. That way you kind of fall into both groups of thinking! Hehe :)

Amanda said...

I'm the middle child - one older brother and one younger. I like having 2 siblings. I also like how right after you have a baby, people want to know when you are going to have another one. I just want to say, I'm trying to see if I survive this one first .. haha.

Jenene said...

I was just talking to my friend about this yesterday! I want to space our kids out a little bit. My thinking is that I'd like to only have one "baby" at a time. I feel like it would be easier for me if Sophia was walking and talking and maybe even potty trained before the next one arrives.

Meghan said...

For me, it's not so much about the age spread... it's trying to time it correctly for the school year. Ideally, get pregnant in the summer time and have the baby in spring so I could take the rest of the school year off and have the summer too. BUt goodness knows we weren't ready to try again yet this summer. ;)

Kate Craig said...

my brother and I are 17 months apart and it was great! I have an older brother who's 8 years older and I don't have much of a relationship with him. We plan on just seeing how it goes after the first one. Not "trying" or "protecting".

Have you ever met an adult who wishes they were farther apart in age from their siblings?

Katie said...

My sister and I are 3.5 years apart (I'm the oldest) and I always liked it. We were good friends, but I was still old enough to be the "big sister". I wasn't really sure how I wanted to space our kids out. Our daughter is 5 1/2 months now, and after having her I think I want to wait until she's 2 or 3 to start trying for another. Some days I think she may even be an only child ;) just kidding! :) Love babies, but as a c-section mama I think my body needs some recovery time, not because I'm in pain still or anything, or even because it was that hard on me (since it wasn't), but I just think that can't be good for you in quick repeat!

Lauren said...

My sister and I are a little over 2yrs apart. While we fought a lot we are definitely closer now. We think we'd like our kids to be somewhere in the range of 2-3yrs apart. That seems to be a good separation. Though with one that is only 2mo old, I can't imagine having a new baby and a toddler at the same time, so we may have to re-evaluate! :-)

Lydia said...

We have been talking about this a lot lately! Most of my friends are having kids within 2 years of each other so they will be close and they all say it is easier to add another one {since they are younger less jealousy to deal with}.

I have no idea what we will be doing! Brynlee is 8months and I can't imagine being pregnant again anytime soon!! Maybe God will just work it out like He did with Brynlee!

LeAnna said...

This is something that I think about all the time! Obviously, we have two fairly close in age, 21 months. When Q turned two it was like the magic number, he could communicate his feelings so much better, it just really made things easier with a newborn. The first three months were the most trying...but we're here to tell the tales. ;)

I'm 5 years older than my sister, and 8 years older than my little brother...I always felt like the lone ranger growing up. Now, granted, my Mom had a miscarriage between me and my sister, so she tried to have us closer in age. That being said, I think we'll try to keep ours 2-3 years apart, right at two seems to be working for us. The kids just love each other to pieces, and though it is super tiring, and trying, I think it will be so great as they continue to get older. My only problem with having them close in age, is that means we'll have to make the decision on when to stop -- sooner rather than later, I'm not ready for that...

Mrs. M said...

I think 2.5 to 4 years is a good separation. As far as wanting to have them close in age to be able to play, in the long run that is not that important. The WHO organization reccommends spacing pregnancies apart 2 years because of the depletion of nutrients in your body through a pregnancy. The implications for the second baby that comes quickly after the previous baby can be considerable.

Natalie said...

IDEALLY I would love to have my kids between 1 1/2-2 years apart. However, seeing as how the last TTC part of life went, I know my plan is totally not God's plan :) So we just decided not to do anything after this baby comes (because we know my cycle is crazy anyway and may take forever to get on track if I'm breastfeeding) and just let whatever happens happen. We'll see! I highly doubt we'll have kids like a year apart (that would be really scary for me!!) but I would love to get pregnant again (ideally) anytime when this one is 9 months-15 months old. We'll see! I'm curious to see what you and your hubby are thinking on the subject :)

Kathryn said...

Oh my. I know just what you mean. We've had them close and had them spaced (sort of). I blogged about it here http://exceedingabundantly320.blogspot.com/2011/02/spacing.html

Still not sure which way I think is best. Both have ups and downs.

Mrs. Lukie said...

My brother and I are 15 months apart and my sister and I are 22 years apart (I'm the eldest of 3).

My hubby and I would like to have 2 very close in age. I don't think we'll do any preventing of conception after Baby L is born & will let nature take its course & allow God to use His perfect timing. My hubby is 10 years older than me, so we have to take that into consideration, as well.

Melissa said...

My sister & I are 3 years apart. I'm the baby. I love our age difference. Sure, we fought some growing up - she was so bossy! LOL. And there were certain ages when it seemed like a huge age difference (9th & 12th grade) but she really took care of me that year...nobody messed with her little sister! :) Now, at 33 & 36, we are VERY close & have been for a long time now. We hardly ever fight, even though we are polar opposites.

I think 2-3 years is great! But i have a lot of friends whose kids are anywhere from 12 to 18 months apart & they LOVE IT. And since i'm 33 & not getting any younger (TTC #1 right now), ours might be VERY close in age! LOL. :)

Dove of Snow said...

Well, my only sibling and I were nearly 5 years apart. He was born two months before I turned 5. So it was much like I was an only child up till then. I can honestly say there is an upside to how far apart we were in age: I learned how to play on my own, without the need to have a sibling or another child keeping me entertained constantly. I was independent, and had a healthy, full imagination. Just the same, I was excited beyond reason when I knew I was getting a sibling and I even WANTED a little brother! haha And though we had a bigger age gap, we were always very good friends and playmates.

All to say...I think "ideally" it would be nice to have my kiddos 2-3 years apart each. However, there is a caveat; once a woman gets older, it seems with her clock ticking, she wouldn't want to wait 3 years between kids. After all, if she wants more than 2 kids, she needs to "get hoppin" so to speak! LOL

On the other hand, everything I've read says it's much harder on the woman's body to conceive more than once in a years time. In other words, wait at least 9 mo to a year after the previous pregnancy to begin trying to conceive again. She needs time to recuperate and build up energy, etc for next baby! :) So...I still think for me, at least, 2-3 years between sounds just about right. But it's all in God's timing, He knows when they will all come into this world!

Dove of Snow said...

Oh, and btw, I like this question! An interesting question indeed! ;)

Amber said...

I was an only child and hated it. Corey had lots of siblings and loved it. There were 1-2 years apart. I'm not crazy enough to have two kids under the age of two. Lord willing, I'm hoping to give birth to number two when Eden is 2..maybe 2 1/2.

Jessica said...

I actually haven't given this too much thought since I've been so busy thinking about and wishing for number 1! haha...but I think I've decided that since we've had so much trouble, I may just take the Michelle Duggar approach and just let God space out our children however He sees fit :-) Until we have 3 or 4 kids...then the Duggar approach will go out the window! haha!

Emily Kate said...

My boys are almost exactly two years apart and it has its positives and negatives and though I'm so happy with the spacing, I'm giving myself an extra year in between the next!!:)

Julie S. said...

We got pregnant with baby #2 when Brayden was 18 months old, so the kids will be 2 years and 2 months apart. It is going to be a challenge with 2 in diapers, but we are excited about it. I am 3 years older than my sister, and she is 3 years older than my brother. Because of our birthdays, they were 2 years apart in school whereas my sister and I were 4. It was a good combination, though.

I think if we are blessed with more children, I would give it another year and have another one with our daughter is closer to three. BUT you never know, and God's timing is perfect! :)

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