Fuzzy Blankets And Good Plans

Almost three years ago I was scared that I would never have a baby.  It had been several months since we made the decision to go off the pill, and it was clear that something wasn't working quite right.  We had decided to start trying for a baby, but month after month rolled by with nothing seeming to improve.  I was stressed.  I was depressed.  

The only thing I knew to do at that point was to cling to my relationship with Jesus, and trust that He knew what He was doing.  It's a lesson I had to learn several times over the next couple years, but it started then.  When my dearest hopes and dreams seemed to be looking unlikely, I had to remind myself that He is good.  That He had good plans for my life, with or without my having biological children.

At that time I started knitting a baby blanket.  It was my way of reminding myself to trust that the Lord would bless us with a baby, one way or another, someday.  

I chose pretty purple yarn, and paired it with white fuzzy yarn - I figured I'd start with girl colors and then make another one with boy colors, while we were waiting.  

 

 

As the rows piled on top of each other and the blanket started to take shape, I'd bury my face in it, breath in the wooly smell, and imagine my baby laying snuggled inside it one day.  And I'd pray for the Lord to heal my body, balance my hormones, and allow that precious baby to be conceived, or to show us if His plan was different.

I was a little over halfway finished with that blanket (I'm a slow knitter) when we found out that the Lord had answered our prayers.  I still vividly remember the morning I took the test.  I was shaking so badly as I held it up for Derek to see, and I burst out crying after saying the words "I think I'm pregnant" to him.  He grinned from ear to ear and hugged me as happy tears streamed down my face.  It was one of the sweetest moments of my life.

 

 

 

I put that blanket aside at that point and bought some dark blue yarn so I could start on another blanket in case the baby ended up being a boy.  I knitted furiously in those first few weeks - and it was a good thing, because we soon found out that we were expecting a little man!  Though I didn't completely finish his blanket before he was born, I had enough of it done that we still used it in some of his newborn pictures.

 

 

Time rolled on, I was busy with a newborn, who grew into a toddler.  We started trying for our second baby, and the same fears returned as the months rolled by.  I had to re-learn again to trust the Lord for our second baby, just as I had to learn to trust Him for our first.  Another sweet day came when I took a test and "YES+" flashed on the screen.  She grew, and here we are.

 

 

The blankets had been tucked away in my knitting basket for a while, but last week I pulled out that soft purple blanket.  I dug out my knitting needles and the pattern I started using three years ago, and I sat down while Wyatt napped and knitted away on it.

And this past weekend, I finished it.

 

 

It's now sitting in the nursery, waiting for the day in the near future when my daughter is born.  The day when I can wrap her up in it and it will finally come full circle.

Three years ago when I started that blanket, I was scared, but trying to trust the Lord.  Now, as I finish it, I am so thankful for the Lord answering my request with a yes, twice.  

When I started it, I had no children.  Now I have a precious son and daughter, both of whom I treasure more than anything, even as I wait to meet one of them.

And as I look at those sweet blue and purple blankets, I am reminded again of what kind of God I serve.  

And I praise Him for the fact that He is good.


"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Jeremiah 29:11