Better And Worse


I went through a lot of searching before our wedding to splice together the best version of our wedding vows.  I wanted to say the traditional vows because I love how strong all the words are.  I think the part that means the most is "for better or for worse . . . until death do us part".

It seems cliche to pick that part, but it's one of the most well-known wedding vow phrases for a reason.  "For better or worse" encompasses everything - everything you can go through as a married couple.  And there are so many things that can go wrong.  You can lose a house, lose a job, lose a child.  You could have a disabled child or parent that you will take care of together.  One or the other of you could become seriously disabled or lose mental capacities or have some other serious condition or disease.   For better or worse means you'll stick with each other through all of that, come what may.

I think it also covers the "better and worse" feelings you may have for each other.  Because even though you love each other (and your love can grow deeper the longer you're married) you're not always going to feel "lovey-dovey" toward each other.  Sometimes you'll drive each other crazy.   You'll have arguments.  You'll sometimes get into a funk and not feel connected to each other at all.  "For better or worse" means staying together through the hardest stages of your relationship, even when "the better" seems far away.  Because you believe that eventually the better will come back, and you're going to stick with it until it does.

For better or worse until death, encompasses everything, and it means the most.  That's why I knew I wanted that classic little phrase in our vows.  It's classic for a reason.

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(Derek and me on our wedding day, 2008.)
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Michelle said...

Enjoyed this post. Thanks for the marriage reminder. : )

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