One Year Ago


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1:01 AM.

That was the moment I first saw you.

When the contractions started the night before, I was so excited.   You were coming!  I was finally going to get to meet you, and maybe my secret wish would be fulfilled and you would be born on your daddy's birthday.

Fast-forward five hours, and I was surrounded by strange men, careening down the highway in an ambulance, bawling my eyes out and screaming in pain.  You were coming.  And this was not how I envisioned your birth.  I was terrified.

They wouldn't let your daddy ride in the back with us.  He was so worried and rode the entire way to the hospital with his neck craned, trying to see me and help me. I heard his voice between contractions.

At some point the Lord took away my fear, and I just knew.  You had to come now.   So I gave one final effort, one final scream. . .

And then you were here.  And in that moment when I looked down and saw your sweet little face, your little arms and legs curled in so tight, all the fear was gone.  I didn't remember the pain.  

You were okay.  I was okay.  You were here.  And you were so beautiful.

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It could have turned out so different, Sweet Baby, and I know Jesus was watching over both of us. 

They wanted to clean you up before I held you, but I was too impatient - I reached over and snatched you away while they were still trying to wipe you down.

I held you.  You opened your eyes and just looked at me.

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I was the most blessed woman in the world.

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Today is Gwendolyn's 1st birthday.  I can't even believe it's been a year already.  She is such a blessing from the Lord, and what a joy she has been to us! 

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Her life outside the belly started off in such a dramatic way, but what I love most are the little, seemingly insignificant moments we have had together over the last year.  When she cries her rolling cry and quiets when I pick her up.  Her little chuckles.  The way she blinks her eyes hard at people when she's happy.  Little arms stretched out to me.  Her four little teeth that show when she grins.

These are the things I treasure.

I feel so blessed to have Miss Gwen Ruby as my daughter.

We love you more than we can say, Baby Girl!  May you (and your daddy!) have the happiest birthday today.

Love,

Mama and Daddy
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Merry C. said...

What a beautiful birth story. Little Gwen is absolutely the cutest little doll baby. Happy day Gwen,! Wish I could have a big squeeze ! Mama will have to give you one for me.:)

Rebecca Lobb said...

Happy birthday Gwen and Derek!!

Whitney said...

Aww happy first birthday little Gwen!

Amanda said...

So precious! Happy Birthday, Gwen!

Susannah said...

Happy birthday to your precious little girl! :-)

Caroline said...

Happy 1st birthday to your sweet little one!

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