Concerns About The Birth

I wrote last time about my occasional labor anxieties when I think about my last labor experience.  However, there are other things that make it hard for me not to worry about the birth of Baby #3.

I occasionally worry that somehow my labor will progress even faster this time than it did last time and I still won't make it the hospital.  I think that is probably unlikely since I'm planning on going down at the very first contraction, but you just never know.  I know someone who had a two hour labor!  At least if I end up having my baby in the car or ambulance again, I'll know what to do because I've done it once before.  But I really would rather not.

I'm worried that if I go into labor while Derek is gone he won't make it to the hospital in time for the baby's birth.
 Neither one of us want him to miss it.  He has talked to his bosses repeatedly about working from home or finding some other solution so he won't have to be so far away, but it doesn't appear that any of that is going to work out.  I constantly rehearse things in my mind, wondering when I should call to have him come home if he is not here - should I wait for contractions to become time-able?  Or should I call him at the very first twinge?

The major concern, however, is that Derek just happens to be traveling with his work through many of the weeks in April.  He'll be 5+ hours away in the weeks leading up to my due date - not constantly, but 3-5 days at a time.  I am very concerned that I will go into labor while he is gone.

I am worried about giving false alarms because I'm paranoid about Derek being so far away.  I'm more worried that I won't recognize when I'm in labor and I'll call him too late.

I am worried about being alone when I go into labor.  I'm thinking I can ask my mom to stay with me in April, but I think she'll only be able to for part of the time.  If things go like they did last time the first part of my labor will be really mild and manageable, but still.  I would like emotional support.

I'm worried about not being able to get a hold of my mom to come to the hospital with me, or not being able to get in contact with someone else to come stay with the kids while we go.  What if it takes me an hour+ to get everyone on the phone and we leave for the hospital late again?

I am worried about laboring at all without Derek here.  Derek has always been such a calming presence for me when I'm dealing with contractions.  He knows me, and we've been through all this before together.  It's hard for me to picture going through any of the hard parts of labor without him.

I am worried that I'll have to be induced (for reasons that I don't want to get into here).  On the one hand, at least Derek could be there, which would be a huge plus.  On the other hand, I really would rather not be induced, and I hope it doesn't get to the point where I have to make that decision.

I admit I've had a few crying spells thinking about how unpredictable all this is.  I don't like unpredictable.  I wish I knew when I'm going to have this baby so I could mentally prepare and come up with a plan.  But there is no planning this.  The whole third trimester/labor and delivery is going to be a fly-by-the-seats-of-our-pants event.

I think I'm mostly in a good place now.  It's a lot of logistics to worry about, but I've come to this point where I realize I can only control so much.  Actually I can control almost nothing, and thinking through every possible scenario isn't going to give me any more control.

But I do know Who is in control.   It's comforting that the Lord already knows how this is going to go, and it's comforting that I can present my requests to God about this whole thing.  Maybe He'll let it go the way I want - maybe He won't.  But He knows, and I feel like He's given me that "peace that passes all understanding".  I feel like it's going to be okay.


Would you mind praying for me too, friends?  I'd specifically like to ask for prayers that I will go into labor on a day when Derek is home, and that this will happen before we have to make any decisions about induction.

And if you want to throw in a little prayer that I'll make it to the hospital this time, that would be nice too!
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Lauren said...

Definitely sending prayers your way for the peace that passes all understanding. God's timing is perfect, we know that, and what a blessing to be able to rest in that fact.

Susannah said...

I am sending up prayers for you!

Melissa said...

Callie... i will pray that none of your worries are even an issue! That God has everything just fall into place so that your hubby is with you & so that the baby doesn't come TOO fast! :) xoxo

Alli said...

I have been praying for you constantly my friend! God has a perfect plan and an awesome birth story for you! Just remember, Mary gave birth in a stable surrounded by animals and look what God did there! He's been handling birth since the beginning. I know saying this doesn't always help the worrying, but know that I am praying for you and will continue to pray until we meet this little guy!

Vanessa Miller said...

I am sooo anxious about your labor and delivery after the last one! Hoping it all goes well for you and that Derek can be there for you.

Jessica Whitman-Horton said...

I am having the same types of concerns this time around. I had my guy less than hour after we pulled into the parking lot last time. I will keep you in my prayers girl as I know how tough it is!! God is in control and is so faithful! Xo!

Melanie said...

Definitely sending prayers up your way! I don't blame you for not wanting to go through it without Derek being there!

HIS daughter said...

definitely thinking of you and your sweet baby and praying for a wonderful birth! Hugs!

Rachel said...

I will be praying :)

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