The Most Important Person

This last week we didn't just celebrate Christmas (we had a lovely one, by the way) - we celebrated Derek and Gwen's birthday!  Three years ago Gwen was born in an ambulance on Derek's birthday (it's a good story that you can read here).  It's so fun to celebrate two of my favorite people on the same day!  

As a birthday post for Gwen I wanted to share this little story that I wrote out a few weeks ago.  

This year has been really poignant for me, watching Gwen grow.  She follows me around.  She loves when I put "makeup" on her face by powdering her nose.  I've caught her bouncing her baby doll in the exact way that I bounce Clarice, and she lights up when I tell her what a good "mama" she is. She is precious and spunky and sweet-hearted, and with every day that passes I realize how quickly she's growing and how much she is watching me.  I want so badly to be worthy of her imitation.  She is making me into a better person, just by being herself, and I can't imagine our lives without her.  I am so grateful to God for giving her to me.

Happy Birthday, my darling girl!  I love you from the very depths of my heart.

(Derek, I'll have to cover you in a different post.  *wink*  Love you!)


I sit at the table with ten other ladies, bouncing the baby on my lap and taking one more sip of my coffee.  I’m so glad I finished feeding and changing the little one in time to see you file in, wearing your red skirt with the gold trim, and your fuzzy grey and white sweater.  It’s Christmas program time, and this is your first year.

Your brother is in the back row, and he has already spotted me, waving and sticking out his tongue.  He’s doing fine.  They settle you on the lowest step on the stage, right in front.  You stand there while the song starts, but instead of following your teacher in doing the hand motions, you are still.

I wave and wave, but you don’t see me.  I even venture to call your name, trying not to be too disruptive, but your eyes fall everywhere except my face.

I watch you stand there, playing with your fingers, and your sweet expression is looking sadder by the minute.  You look lost.  I wave more.

Finally your gaze lands on me, and it’s like watching a sunrise, seeing the recognition dawn in your eyes.  Then the corners of your lips slowly turn up, and your little eyes crinkle until you are grinning, though I can still see a hint of tears shining in your eyes.

You see me.

You mouth the words “I’m singing a song”, and I nod to let you know I understand, and I mouth back “good job”.  You grin and bounce a little in place.

I realize it, watching you bouncing there like an impossibly cute cartoon character come to life.  In your life right now, along with your daddy, I am your most important person.  And my heart pinches, squeezed with an influx of joy at the thought, and a bit of sorrow.

I don’t always manage that role well, my darling.  I get impatient and snap out words I wish I could say over again more gently.  I get busy and distracted, and realize halfway into our conversation that I am not really listening.  But Sweetie, I want to do better.  

I watched your beautiful face light up when you saw me, and I was the only person there who could do that.  I was the only person you really wanted to see in there.  It won’t always be this way; you will grow up, marry a boy and have babies of your own, and they will be your most important people.  

But for now, it’s me.  I love that it’s me. 

I want to be worthy of this role that God has let me play in your life.  More than anything I want to use this time well, and point you to Him.  He's using you to change me, did you know that?  I smile to myself now over the beauty of it.

I hand the baby off and walk over to the side to check on your brother, who has left his place, and you break rank and run over to say hello.  I tell you that you are doing great, kiss your face, and remind you to listen to your teachers and I’ll see you later.  You grin at me with your shining eyes, and as I go back to my seat, you run back to your place in front.  You nudge another girl gently so you can stand on the step too, then you turn around and beam at me through the rest of the music.  

You are showing off now, proud to have me watching you.  But I’m the proud one, darling.  What a privilege it is, being the most important person of a precious little girl like you.

You may also like:
Lori Lyons Luhrman said...

What a beautiful post! Congrats on having a sweet daughter that you can celebrate. =) I also love the design of your blog...the colors are fantastic! Warmly, Lori from The Novel Endeavor

Cara Owens-Kindly Unspoken said...

This is such a sweet post! Almost made me tear up a little thinking about it because you are so right, our sweet little ones completely adore their Mom's, and it's so important for us to be there to support them and encourage them along the way. Thanks for sharing this special story :)

Amanda E said...

So very sweet!!

Caitlin Elisabeth said...

this is such a sweet post. my little one will be two in a few weeks and i love the bond my daughter and i share together. thank you for reminding me im her most important person and being a constant and role model to her :)

© Through Clouded Glass. Design by MangoBlogs.