Why Picking A Word Was Hard This Year

Am I the only one who gets my best ideas while I am falling asleep?

I heard there is a scientific component to it.  All day your brain is gathering information and recording your life, but it doesn't have time to process everything and solve problems until you give it a chance to rest.  So right as you are drifting off to sleep you brain starts to put it all together, and you think of your best ideas.

On the night of December 30th I stayed up far too late, scrolling through my social media feeds.  I read so many inspiring posts from people about their words for the year, and why they chose them.  I had been trying to think of my own word for 2016 for the last couple weeks, and the last two days of December are crunch time.  I was processing, I was reflecting, I picked and subsequently threw out five different words.  Finally it was all too much, and I just put the phone down, and closed my eyes.  I prayed again for some direction on my word for the year, and started to feel my thoughts fade.

Right before I fell asleep, these words passed through my mind.

"The Lord is my light and my song.  He has become my salvation.  Of whom shall I be afraid?"

This isn't an actual Bible verse, but a morphing of two verses*.  Maybe sometimes those night-time ideas come from your brain finally putting information together, but somehow I knew the Lord brought those words to my thoughts.  

It seems silly to pray repeatedly and stress over finding a word, but this year it has felt important to me to find just the right one.  I changed a lot in 2015.  In many ways it was a dark year for me, as I struggled through personal issues and discouragement.  I believed Satan's lies in a lot of areas, and in other areas it felt like I could finally see clearly what had been going wrong and change it.  I am still struggling through this, trying to get out of my own head and see my life and relationships as they really are, instead of letting this cloud of dejection taint my mind.

It seemed like maybe if I just found the right word, it could be my lifeline, my "north star" so to speak.  If I found the right word, maybe the focus could pull me out of this slump and help me do better.

But the Lord knew it wasn't about a word.  Words won't help me.  It was about me keeping my eyes on Him.

He is my light.

Picking a word had become so hard because I had started to hang all my hopes for the year on that one word, as though if I picked the right word and tried hard enough, my life would be better.  Instead I should be hanging my hopes on Jesus.  He is the only one who can truly change me, restore my heart, and renew my mind - words alone can't do that, but the Word can.

So I am picking a word, but it's a word that reminds me that my hope isn't found in words.  Up to this point I have always picked words that had to do with me doing something - but this word isn't about me doing anything except looking to Jesus.  My light, my song, my salvation.  And I don't really know what to do with it, except wait to see what He has to show me this year as I am reminded to look to His light.

What is your word for the year?

*Psalm 27:1 and Exodus 15:2

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VintageFancyGirl said...

Growth! :) I resolve to grow spiritually, emotionally, physically (healthwise), relationship-wise, and financially (better stewards). I know this will only be done through obedience and old fashioned hard work. It is hard work picking a word!

Christina said...

This is beautiful, Callie! I love the combination of those two verses into a prayer for your year :)

Callie Nicole said...

Thanks Christina!

Callie Nicole said...

That is a great word!

Susannah said...

That's a beautiful word and I love your reasoning behind choosing it! I pray God does amazing things in your life this year! <3

Lauren English said...

This is beautiful! I love that verse. I've been gathering some verses to memorize for labor (I loved your old post on that by the way!) and I think I need to add this one to my list. It's beautiful!

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