The Big Day! (20 Weeks Baby #4)

As of Monday I am 20 weeks pregnant, and it is starting to hit me that this is real.  I am going to have another precious baby to snuggle in just a few short months.

I have never been pregnant through an entire summer, but this year I will be.  Oh, I have heard all the horror stories of how awful it is to be pregnant during the hot days of summer (thankfully I live in a state that is not humid, so I'm hoping that works in my favor).  I am more concerned about how fast the rest of this pregnancy is going to go by since it is through the summer.  Summer always seems to go by so fast anyway, and I want to make this a slow, lazy summer, so I can enjoy all the little pregnancy milestones!

Baby is ten inches long from head to toe - ten inches!  Apparently that's about the length of a banana, and it's hard for me to believe that my baby is that big already.  You would think I wouldn't be surprised by this stuff anymore, but pregnancy is just as miraculous the fourth time as it is the first time.

I have definitely been feeling more kicks, but this baby has been pretty gentle so far.  It still just feels like little bubble pops on the inside of my stomach.  No movement from the outside yet, but I imagine that will start soon.  This baby doesn’t seem to move as much as the other kids did at this point, but my memory may be faulty.  I have had a feeling from the beginning that this one is a more mellow baby - we will see if I'm right when he/she makes their appearance!

Speaking of he/she, today is the big day - we find out the gender of our little one!  Unfortunately we were not able to pull our gender reveal party together in time to do it this Saturday, so we are having it on the 30th instead - so I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to make everyone wait!

I will make the gender reveal announcement on the blog on June 1st, and just for fun, I am holding a little poll/contest - make your guess with the form at the bottom of this post, and I’ll randomly pick one of the correct guessers and send you a Starbucks gift card!  Just for fun!  If you want more information about this pregnancy before you make your guess, here are the most common questions.

-Carrying high or low?  Higher than any of my other pregnancies.

-Sweet or sour?  Vegetables, so I guess sour!  Though brownies have been hitting the spot lately too.

-Hands palms up or palms down?  Palms up.

-Nails/hair/hands?  Nails are most definitely weaker, hands are dry.

-Morning sickness?  I never get much morning sickness, but this has been the easiest pregnancy yet.

-First trimester heart rate? 163 bpm.

-Do I have a feeling one way or another?  I did, but now I don’t know.  And if I did, I wouldn’t tell you, because that might give you an unfair advantage (or lead you to guess wrong, as the case may be).

-And the belly comparison?

You can also read these posts if you want to do some research before making a guess!

Boy or Girl?  (Where I compare my last three pregnancies.)
20 Weeks with Wyatt
20 Weeks with Gwen
20 Weeks with Clyde

And that’s all the help you get!

I have started becoming more unsure of whether this baby is a boy or girl.  I am still going with my original guess, but it seems like some symptoms are no longer fitting in the box as nicely, so I am not sure anymore.  I won’t be surprised either way, and I am going to be thrilled with either a boy or girl!

I am still feeling really good.  I have been having a horrible time dragging myself out of bed the last week or so, but I suppose a little fatigue is to be expected.

One thing I keep neglecting to mention is how much round ligament pain I am having this time!  It is worse this pregnancy than any of my others, for sure, and it started early - like in the first trimester. I rolled over the other night and got a shooting pain all around my belly, and I was worried about the baby - but the next day he/she was moving around in there happy as can be, so it was just really bad ligament pain.  I'm hoping it doesn't get too much worse!

I have also been feeling more emotional in the last couple weeks, and I tear up at random things.

Maternity outfit details:

Shirt: Pink Blush Maternity (similar style)
Kimono: Target (similar)
Jacket: Target (similar)
Moto Stitched Denim Pants: JustFab
Boots:  Charlotte Russe (a long time ago - similar style)
Sunglasses: Target

Not too much longer and we will know if this is a little mister or miss!  And if I know you in real life, can you just not ask me anything about my baby or pregnancy for the next two weeks so I don't accidentally spill the beans?  Thanks.  Stay tuned!

Linking up with The Life Of Faith, Life Could Be A Dream (for a pattern on the bottom style theme - does patterned stitching count?), Life Of Meg, Fizz and Frosting, The Pleated Poppy.

Over A Cup Of Coffee (Vol. 1)

I'm starting a new little series on this blog called "Over A Cup Of Coffee".  It will be series in which I will document.  I will write about something that I might tell a friend over a cup of coffee.  Frequency will vary, depending on how much I have to tell, but you can expect these posts between once of twice a month.  

Somewhere amidst all the social media and blog marketing and watching page views like a hawk and creating pinnable posts, I think a lot of the blogging world has lost the art of storytelling.  Blogging will of course change and evolve over the years, and that isn't a bad thing.  Still, I find it unusually refreshing when I come across a post that is just a story - just someone's life, raw, sometimes messy, there for you to read.  And I know I want to find my way back to that a little bit, because ten years from now, my kids won't care about the pinnable posts as much as they care about the story posts.


With that said, let's talk about my job situation, shall we?  I alluded to it in a recent post, and it's time to tackle the subject.  So let's pretend I just pulled a pan of cheesecake brownies out of the oven and brewed two hot cups of Cafe Verona (decaf for me), and I'll tell you what's been going on.

Over our brownies and a cup of coffee, I'd probably admit that for the last couple months, I have felt like I am having a midlife crisis.

As I said in my "things I learned in April" post, I consider a midlife crisis any time when part or all of your identity is threatened.  People usually have them in their forties or fifties because they realize they are losing their youth, and that is hard for people who have some of their identity tied up in their youth.  But it really can happen any time, with any part of your identity.  The part that has been threatened for me is my professional identity.

I have been working in a dental office one day a week for three years, as a dental hygienist.  Lately, our office has been growing by leaps and bounds, and a couple months ago, my boss asked me if I would take on another day at work.

You have to realize, the work situation I have been in for the last few years has been ideal for me.  I loved working just one day a week.  I could be a most of the time stay-at-home mom, which is something I always wanted to do.  But at the same time, I could keep up my professional skills as a dental hygienist, without losing much time with my kids.  They went to grandma's house while I worked, which they loved.  I enjoyed seeing my patients, I liked my working environment, and I had a good boss.  I probably would have continued like this indefinitely.

Then my boss told me they needed me to take another day, and I realized nothing lasts forever.
I loved working as a dental hygienist.  But I treasure my time at home with the kids.  And as silly as it may sound to some, I just wasn't willing to give up another day that I could be spending with them.

So I gave my notice, and my last day was a couple weeks ago.  I have no doubt I did the right thing, but a decision like that comes with a lot of questions.  Should I try to find temp work on Fridays until this baby comes?  Do I even want to do that?  How will I keep up my skills if I am no longer working?  How will I afford all the licensing and continuing education fees that come along with this job when I am not working to compensate for it? Should I just give up on practicing hygiene until the kids are grown? But if I don't work, will I even be employable in five years?  Who wants to hire a hygienist who hasn't practiced in years?  If I no longer practice, all that hard work of my (intense) dental hygiene program will go to waste!  And if I am not a hygienist, what am I?

You wouldn't think the flood of questions would be so severe since I have been mostly a SAHM already, but it has been rough.  To be honest, I have found very few answers.  What I never realized was how much being a dental hygienist had become part of my identity.

But that's the thing, isn't it?  Most of the roles in which we tie up our identities are only ever temporary.  Life situations can change in an instant.  Even core roles, like "wife" and "mother" aren't guaranteed.

The only permanent ground in which to plant my identity is in Christ.

I am first and foremost a child of God, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and nothing can ever take that away.  That is my core identity, and it's lovely, because every other identity can be viewed through this one.  It ties everything together so nicely, and if one of my other sub-category identities is threatened, I know that God still has good things planned for me, for exactly the place where I am.  Because I am His first.

And right now, He said that it was time for a chapter of my life to close.

I don't know if I will temp, if I will find another job next year after the baby comes, or if I will never practice hygiene again.  I am still trying to figure out what God's will is in all of this.  But I know there are good thing planned for the future, even if I never pick up another instrument.

So I'm a little sad, but I am also a little happy.  My emotions swing from one extreme to the other while everyone seems to expect me to know what I am doing and how I feel about it, and the truth is I don't.
But I start to get inklings here and there, and I am excited.  I can't tell you what I will be doing professionally next year, or in five years, or in twenty years.  And the not knowing can be a little exciting too, when you know He has good plans.

So that is where I am, and now you know.  And if we were having a cup of coffee, I'd probably be embarrassed for talking about myself so much, and I'd ask how you are doing, and whether you have ever had a "midlife crisis".

And you would comment below and tell me!


And not all of our coffee chats will be this heavy, just so you know!


And on that note, I wanted to share a free printable with you all!  This is a verse that has been comforting to me over the last couple months, because I feel like in the midst of my inner turmoil, I have not handled everything as well as I wish I would have liked.  This verse has been comforting - that even when I am not what I should be, God's mercies are new every morning.  I hope you can use this to remind yourself that He gives us mercy every single day, especially when we don't do things perfectly!

To receive this free printable, just sign up for my newsletter by clicking here - and this will be sitting in your inbox by the end of the week!

(I'd also love it if you would spread the love and share this printable on Pinterest.)

(For Personal Use Only.)

Until our next coffee chat!

Every Person Is Valuable | Where Hope Grows Movie

 This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Godspeed Pictures, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #wherehopegrowsmovie

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A couple months ago, I read a news story related to people with Down syndrome.  I won’t go into all the details of the story, but it reflected the attitude of some people that those with disabilities such as Down syndrome wouldn’t have fulfilling or meaningful lives because of their disability.

That story irked me at the time, and it has stuck with me since then.  I don’t have any friends or family with Down syndrome, but I have met many people with Down syndrome, and I had a friend growing up with a mental disability.  They are often the happiest, sweetest people you will ever meet.  To suggest that they are somehow less valuable because they don’t fit into someone’s idea of perfection is just ignorant.

I believe with all my heart that every person has intrinsic value.

That’s not just a bumper sticker sentiment, it is the truth.  Every person is created in the image of God, and that automatically gives them value.  To me that’s a given, but it’s not a given in our culture today.  It has become common to try to quantify the worth of people, to the point where some even dare to deem certain lives to have little value.

But who are we to think we can determine that?

I don’t think you even have to look too hard to see the value of those with Down syndrome.  The joy they so often exude, the friendship they offer so easily, their ability to look past the faults of others (despite whether or not those people can do the same), the fact that they can thrive despite the challenges that most of us will never face - all these things are sources of inspiration to those around them.

I recently had the opportunity to see a movie that I think illustrated this beautifully. In Where Hope Grows, Calvin Campbell is a washed up baseball player and an alcoholic.  In the grocery store one day he meets a kid named Produce, who has Down syndrome.  He is drawn to Produce’s happy spirit, and as Campbell gets to know Produce better, he is able to find hope for his own life and relationships.

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Hope grows movie
(My parents and me enjoying the movie!  Derek was there too, he just missed out on the pictures.)

Where Hope Grows comes out in theaters this Friday (the 15th), and I highly recommend seeing if you can catch it at your local theater!  You can watch the movie trailer here:

And this was a part of the movie that we thought was fun!

The Christian influences in this movie were subtle, which I think makes it a movie that anyone can appreciate, even if they are not believers.  But I loved how it was clear that Produce’s joy was because of his faith, and his faith was a beacon for Campbell through the movie as he started to see the changes he needed to make in his own life.

Where Hope Grows has message of hope - that even when you hit your lowest point, there is always hope to turn things around with help from God, and friends and family.  I loved the example of Produce’s character, that every person has the potential to impact other people and show them the love of God, even when you might least expect it.

Where hope grows WHG001 Calvin meets Produce rgb

Produce invested his days well, even as a grocery store clerk.  He used the place where God had placed him to reach out to others.  I think many times we get so caught up in the busyness of the day to day that we forget that God has us where we are for a reason.  We get so caught up in our own selves that we forget, or are too scared, to reach out to others.

I don’t think Produce’s character even realized how he impacted the life of Campbell, or his role in helping him get back on track.  That’s the beauty of influence.  You might never know how you or anyone else may influence others through your life, but you can bet that God can and does use anyone He chooses to change stories.

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Derek mentioned how he liked the courage Produce showed at different parts of the movie, even in protecting and standing up for those he cared about. There was something innocent and refreshing about the way Produce’s character impacted those around him that I think is reflective of many people with mental disabilities. It is a beautiful thing.  It is something to be valued, something the world needs.  I think this movie showed that in a compelling way.

Joni Eareckson Tada has said that people are made for one purpose - to make God real to those around them.  The beauty of that truth is that any person can do this.  Someone who lives a hundred years, or a baby in a mother’s womb.  The healthiest person in the world, or the one with the most challenges.  The smartest person on the planet, or the one you would least expect.  I think those with Down syndrome and other mental disabilities in particular can touch souls in ways that others never could.

Where hope grows WHG001A Produce Calvin in car rgb

Every person in the world has the capability to make God real to those around them.

Every person in the world has the potential to make an impact on someone else for eternity.

Every person is valuable, not because any human says they are, but because God says they are.

Where Hope Grows drove that point home for me again, and I think the DVD will be joining our movie library in the near future!  Definitely check it out!

Where hope grows movie

A Trip Around The Sun - Liked It

A Trip Around The Sun is written by the author of The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson, and his mentor, Richard Foth.  I had never read The Circle Maker, but this book looked interesting.  The subtitle caught my attention "Turning Your Everyday Life Into The Adventure Of A Lifetime".

I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting when I started this book, but the first third of it kind of threw me for a loop.  Each chapter of the book is written half by Batterson and half by Foth, and covers a certain topic or phrase.  The back-and-forth style was confusing to me at first, and it seemed that a large portion of each section seemed to be the authors telling personal stories about people in their lives.  I thought that would be interesting if I knew any of these people, or was already a fan of the authors, but I hadn't heard of any of them before.  The first third came off a little self-centered to me, and I was having a hard time getting into it.

But once I settled into the rhythm of the book, I realized that rather than a practical handbook, this book is half inspirational or challenging thoughts, and half memoir.  Once I realized where the book was coming from, the personal stories seemed less self-congratulatory and more as attempts to encourage readers to live their lives well.  I think the point of the book actually is summed up very well in the sub-title - and the true adventure is stepping outside the comfortable and following Jesus wherever He wants to take us.  I appreciated the message more the further I got into this book, and by the end I was left feeling really inspired to make sure I am not wasting my own days - precious days that could be more intentionally lived for Jesus.

If you pick up this book and find it hard to get into, give it a little time and you'll start to enjoy it, I'm sure!  There are a lot of good ideas and inspiring advice in this book once you get into it a little further.  Definitely an encouraging read!

Note: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.  This is my honest opinion.

Book Babbles Vol. 1

Do you have one of those friends that you can get together with and it always feels like you saw them yesterday?  It could have been months since you last saw them, but you are able to pick up right where you left off and talk like you were never apart.  My friend Erin is like that.

I don't get to see Erin very often, but when I do we always have a great time.  We talk about everything under the sun, from husbands and babies, to taxes and politics, to TV shows and books.  Especially books.  Erin and I both read a lot, and we have similar tastes - I love visiting bookstores with her.  We'll walk along the Christian book section and point out different ones that we have read, and explain why we liked them or didn't like them.

Last time on one such visit, as Erin and I were haunting the back wall at Barnes and Noble, I realized I really like to talk about books.  

Then another dear friend, Felicia, (who I've never actually met, but we've known each other since we were 12 years old), started a book YouTube channel.  I have so enjoyed watching her talk about all her favorites.

And so I thought, why not?  I am going to do a book vlog.

I am hoping to do vlogs on all things bookish once a month or so - I love reading other people's thoughts on books, but there is something fun about hearing someone talk about a book they liked.  I am excited about this series!  This is the first installment.

(Also, I said the first book in the series I'm reading was called "Table For Two" in this video.  Strike that. It's actually called "A Table By The Window" by Hillary Manton Lodge).

What is a book you are excited about reading in the near future?

Why I Am Not Going To A Birth Center

Why I Am Not Going To A Birth Center | Through Clouded Glass

This pregnancy I was this close to trying out a birth center.

My thought was that I have given birth naturally twice before, so I could do it again, right?  And I've heard lots of good things about our local birth center.  And it would be cheaper, probably half the cost of a hospital.  All good reasons to check it out.

So I called and realized that there is a required orientation before making your first appointment.  I registered, Derek and I worked our schedules out, dropped the kids off, and we drove to the birth center.

We parked.  It was dark.  We walked across the street to a little building that looked like it used to be a motel.  We went with the flow of traffic into a room crowded with pregnant women and their support people.

The person who greeted us was friendly, and the presentation was informative.  We went on a tour of the birth center, I asked a couple questions, and I returned home without returning my paperwork.  I had to think.

And I thought about it.  For a week.  I called my insurance to see how much was covered, got the all clear.  I talked about it with my mom.  And I thought about it.

And I decided to go with the hospital after all.

It's not because the birth center made me nervous in case there was an emergency, because their procedures and transfer times seemed very cautious and efficient.  It wasn't because I didn't like the lady who gave the presentation, because she seemed fine.  It wasn't because I thought I might want an epidural, because I know I don't need one.

It was because every time I thought about the birth center, I felt torn.  A large part of me thought it would be fine, and I'd have a fine experience, and I'd save money.  But there was just a little, tiny part of me that felt uneasy.  I can't quite pinpoint why.

I might be in the minority, but I actually like hospitals.  Many people feel like they are so cold and sterile, and they smell funny.  But I like sterile - maybe it has to do with working in a healthcare field, but it makes me feel comfortable.  I like white halls and bright lights - it makes me feel cheerful, and as if the place is clean.  I like hospital smells - they remind me of giving birth to my babies.  I have only good memories in hospitals.

When I thought about whether I would rather give birth in a hospital environment, or in the bedroom-like environment of the birth center, the hospital won for me, hands down.

When you give birth in a birth center, you go home right away, within 4-6 hours.  This could be a definite advantage.  There would be more peace.  We could sleep in our beds.  We could relax in our own home.

But I know myself, and I know it would be hard for me to relax at home.  I would be worried about dishes, and dogs, and I'm afraid those first days with my precious baby might feel like any other day of my life.  There would be less interruptions by nurses and visitors, but it's kind of fun to have so many people coming in and out of your room, fussing over your beautiful baby.  It started to seem like going home so quickly, though perhaps more restful, might also be rather anti-climatic.

And I realized that as silly as it might sound, hospital births are just my style.  I like hospitals.  I like my doctor.  It started to feel like the birth center wasn't my place, and the midwives weren't my people.  I want to look back on this, my last birth experience, and know that it was as good a fit for me as it could have been.

So to the hospital we shall go.  And ever since we made that decision I haven't felt a twinge of unease, so I know it's right.

Is it the trendy decision?  Maybe to some, but not in my circles of friends.  The birth center is a popular choice in my little corner of the world, and a few even dare to suggest that going with an OB and giving birth in a hospital is a poor choice.  But this, like so many things in raising children, is not a right or wrong sort of issue.  There are things that are absolutes for raising healthy children, and there are things in child-rearing that are up for debate.  I think part of growing up is sometimes throwing the trendy new thing out the window, and being brave enough to confidently move forward with what you know is the right choice for you.

If the last four years of motherhood has taught me anything, it is that the onslaught of trendy things does not stop after your baby is born, and everyone has an opinion.  Motherhood has also taught me that if you let everyone else try to make these choices for you on subjective issues, you will probably be miserable with all the trying to measure up.  When you pray about it, and think about it, and know you are making the best choice for your unique personality, and your unique family - then you should proceed with confidence.  No one can make you feel inferior with your consent, even the ones who seem to be actively trying.

So we are just not birth center kind of people.  And that is okay.

April Lessons And A Link Up!

(See all the fun things you're missing if you don't follow me on Instagram?)

1. Mornings go better when you start with Bible time.  

I used to always do my personal devotions in the morning, but somewhere between the first child and the third, the desperate desire for sleep took over.  For the last couple years I have been letting the kids wake me up in the morning.  When I do that, I have to jump right into dressing and feeding three little people, and by the time I am finished all thoughts of finding a quiet place for morning devotions have evaporated from my mind.

I have been trying for the last month to do better about getting up before the kids come traipsing into my room in the mornings.  Even if I only beat them by fifteen minutes, I feel so much more rested and in control of the day when I start with a quiet time with the Lord.  And on the days when I succumb to temptation and hit snooze, I can tell the difference.

2. Flowers on a kitchen table bring the whole room to life.  

Why have I not been buying fresh flowers for the kitchen table for years?  I was forced into buying some flowers earlier this month, then I was given some flowers for my last day of work (that's a whole other story - I'm sure I'll be telling you all about it soon).  Between those two bouquets, there have been flowers on the table for most of the month - and I love it!  It has brought a little springtime into my life while I wait for the outside to catch up.  Pink flowers are my personal favorite, even though they don't go with my dining room colors.

3. Current country music stinks.  

I used to be a fan, I really did.  Back when all the greats were in their heyday, when they sang about family and love stories and hometowns and love of country.  But now every time I take a chance and turn the dial to a country station, all I hear about is drinking and hooking up and revenge and how some girl looks in tight jeans.  No thank you.  Let me know when country artists grow up again and use their words to portray something other than hormonal teenagers.

Scotty Mcreery, you are the one exception that I can find right now.  Stay wholesome.

4. That whole "hot coals" thing works.

Here is the verse, just in case it's been a while since you've read it.

I am not going to go into the whole story, but let's just say I felt a little wronged by someone recently (not my family, so don't think that).  So I bought them food, just because, and you should have seen how nicely I was treated after that.  Now don't go heaping coals on anyone's head expecting anything in return, because you won't always get seeming evidence of a change of heart.  But you know what you will get?  A reward from the Lord, and that is something special.  Scripture is true, guys.

P.S. I love Proverbs.

5. You can have a "midlife crisis" in your twenties.  

I always think of a midlife crisis as a time when you are having an identity crisis.  Identity crises are not always tied to aging; they can happen any time a part of your identity is threatened or removed.  I have been a little lost the last month or two, because I feel like part of who I am (dental hygienist) is no longer as certain as it has been for the past seven years.  And this is a whole post that I have in my drafts, so stay tuned.

6.  I have a book problem.

I am in the process of redecorating our room, and we bought a new bed and nightstands, which forced me to remove all the books from the "to-read" pile that had accumulated in my old nightstand.

Those are all the books I have yet to read.  And yet I still keep buying more.  And signing up for more reviews.  It's like a sickness.

7.  Springtime doesn't have to be so bad.  

Usually I am not a fan of springtime, at least not where I live.  The mountains get yucky and muddy this time of year.  Spring has always been my least favorite season.  However, this could be the year that changes my mind about springtime.  It's been gorgeous outside for most of March and April, which is highly unusual.  Despite the fact that the lack of moisture (i.e. snow) is concerning, I have to admit that I am finally starting to see the appeal of springtime.  It's pretty exciting to see God's creation come to life like it has this year, and it makes me appreciate His creativity more!

Did you learn any lessons in April?

(Also linking up my lessons with Chatting At The Sky.)


I am so thrilled to be co-hosting the Faith and Fellowship linkup with Susannah from Simple Moments Stick!  I have been following Susannah's blog for a few years, and she now has an adorable five month old boy.  She and I also have a mutual real-life friend (hi Ashley!), and when I realized this, the song "It's A Small World After All" might have played in my mind.

It's been so fun to watch Susannah's family and blog grow as I've been following over the years, and her Faith and Fellowship linkup is one of my favorites (and one of the few that I've actually participated in since Clyde has been born!

If you have written any faith-related posts in the last week or so, this is the linkup for you!  Check it out!

Faith and Fellowship Guidelines

1.  Link up a post (not just the link to your blog) from the week that shares what the Lord's been doing in your life or speaking to you.

2.  Put the button on your blog post or blog so that others can hear about this wonderful group of Godly women.

3.  Visit as many blogs as you're able and get to know your sisters in Christ!

Faith and Fellowship Blog Hop

Your Host:

Susannah1Susannah from Simple Moments Stick

This Week's Cohost:

My name is Callie, and I blog at Through Clouded Glass about a variety of things, like pregnancy, motherhood, DIY attempts, and recipes.  However, my main goal for my blog is to share my faith in Jesus Christ through what I write and to encourage other women to focus on their impact for eternity, even through the day-to-day (and sometimes mundane sides) of life.

Last Week's Most Viewed Post:

Life on the Parsons Farm
Infertility: What to (NOT) Say

Spoons of Grace
Work: The Struggle is Real

Susannah's Blog Post Pick:

Made to Bloom
Confession of a Busy Mom

If you'd like to cohost in the future, please email Susannah at susannah.kellogg (at)

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