4 hours ago
Forgiveness is sometimes a hard thing for me.
I have no difficulty whatsoever forgiving someone who asks me for forgiveness. They are obviously sorry and know that they hurt me if they ask for forgiveness, so it's easy for me to forgive them then.
But it's really hard for me to forgive someone who hurts me and never expresses the slightest bit of remorse about it.
In these situations, each time I think of the offense, I get more and more frustrated. After all, I was clearly right, and that other person (whoever they may be), was clearly wrong, and don't they see how they've hurt me?
This frustration just festers, like an infected sore on my heart. Then the bitterness takes root.
Once the bitterness starts, it spreads like a cancer. It seems to me that at this point it is not just my relationship with the offender that is hurt - my whole outlook suffers.
Little annoyances or inconveniences that I would normally brush off with a smile suddenly irritate me to no end. Every little rude remark from a stranger sets me off, and I find myself complaining about all the rude people in the world, without realizing that when I snapped back I became one of the rude people.
I become a complainer, because when all the little irritations build up, I've got to get my frustration out somehow.
My relationship with the Lord suffers, because when I try to pray, I either can't focus or I find myself complaining to the Lord about so-and-so (I don't think He appreciates that).
What I've described above sounds a bit extreme when I read it back to myself. You must realize that this doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen every day. It's just an ever-so-gradual shift in my way of thinking, and after several months in this downward spiral, I realize where I've fallen. I realize what a crabby person I've become. And I realize this is not who I want to be.
How does this all come about from one little offense that should have been no big deal? It all comes back to selfishness. I get absorbed in my own hurt, I feel a little self-righteous, I take things into my own hands and refuse to forgive because it makes me feel better - not realizing that this self-absorbed, self-righteous attitude will gradually extend to every other situation I find myself in.
Not realizing that in the end, it's a poison to me.
Not realizing that of course that Lord would want to deal with that poison in my system before He takes care of the situation.
Bottom line: I've yet to find a verse that says you only have to forgive someone if they apologize first. In fact, I can think of plenty of examples in the Bible where the offended party forgives the offender before they ever ask for forgiveness. They are some of the most beautiful stories in the Bible, and some of my personal favorites. The story of Esau and Jacob, the Prodigal son, and Jesus and Peter come to mind.
I think if I really realized the weight of all that I've been forgiven, I wouldn't have a problem forgiving someone else - even if they never apologize at all.
Instead I become like that despised servant who was forgiven so great a debt by his master, and then had a fellow servant thrown in jail over a few pennies (Matthew 18).
It pains me to even write that sentence, because I don't want to be like that. And when I come to a point when I realize that I have been like that, there is only one thing to do.
Let go of those silly pennies. Ask the Lord to forgive me (again) for allowing that bitterness to take root in my heart, for not extending the grace that has been extended to me, for being self-righteous and selfish. And then change my attitude toward those who hurt me, and toward those innocent bystanders who have felt my anger without doing anything to deserve it.
When will I learn this lesson for good? When will I not have to go through this over every little offense that is not accompanied by an apology? I feel ridiculous to still be struggling with something like this. I'm so glad the Lord forgives me - if only I could more readily extend that forgiveness to others, instead of taking so long to realize what is happening.
Unforgiveness is such a sneaky sin. It sneaks into your heart when you aren't paying attention, and you barely realize it's there until it has grown out of control. And then it's painful to cut it out, but once it's out, things begin to heal.
I confess my sin to the Lord, and He helps me root it out. I take steps to change my attitude. I offer a token of renewed friendship; I practiced giving grace to an innocent bystander.
Little by little, I get back on the right track.
It feels so trite to say it now, but it is so true. Refusing to forgive someone really hurts them much less than it hurts you.
I have no difficulty whatsoever forgiving someone who asks me for forgiveness. They are obviously sorry and know that they hurt me if they ask for forgiveness, so it's easy for me to forgive them then.
But it's really hard for me to forgive someone who hurts me and never expresses the slightest bit of remorse about it.
In these situations, each time I think of the offense, I get more and more frustrated. After all, I was clearly right, and that other person (whoever they may be), was clearly wrong, and don't they see how they've hurt me?
This frustration just festers, like an infected sore on my heart. Then the bitterness takes root.
Once the bitterness starts, it spreads like a cancer. It seems to me that at this point it is not just my relationship with the offender that is hurt - my whole outlook suffers.
Little annoyances or inconveniences that I would normally brush off with a smile suddenly irritate me to no end. Every little rude remark from a stranger sets me off, and I find myself complaining about all the rude people in the world, without realizing that when I snapped back I became one of the rude people.
I become a complainer, because when all the little irritations build up, I've got to get my frustration out somehow.
My relationship with the Lord suffers, because when I try to pray, I either can't focus or I find myself complaining to the Lord about so-and-so (I don't think He appreciates that).
What I've described above sounds a bit extreme when I read it back to myself. You must realize that this doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen every day. It's just an ever-so-gradual shift in my way of thinking, and after several months in this downward spiral, I realize where I've fallen. I realize what a crabby person I've become. And I realize this is not who I want to be.
How does this all come about from one little offense that should have been no big deal? It all comes back to selfishness. I get absorbed in my own hurt, I feel a little self-righteous, I take things into my own hands and refuse to forgive because it makes me feel better - not realizing that this self-absorbed, self-righteous attitude will gradually extend to every other situation I find myself in.
Not realizing that in the end, it's a poison to me.
Not realizing that of course that Lord would want to deal with that poison in my system before He takes care of the situation.
Bottom line: I've yet to find a verse that says you only have to forgive someone if they apologize first. In fact, I can think of plenty of examples in the Bible where the offended party forgives the offender before they ever ask for forgiveness. They are some of the most beautiful stories in the Bible, and some of my personal favorites. The story of Esau and Jacob, the Prodigal son, and Jesus and Peter come to mind.
I think if I really realized the weight of all that I've been forgiven, I wouldn't have a problem forgiving someone else - even if they never apologize at all.
Instead I become like that despised servant who was forgiven so great a debt by his master, and then had a fellow servant thrown in jail over a few pennies (Matthew 18).
It pains me to even write that sentence, because I don't want to be like that. And when I come to a point when I realize that I have been like that, there is only one thing to do.
Let go of those silly pennies. Ask the Lord to forgive me (again) for allowing that bitterness to take root in my heart, for not extending the grace that has been extended to me, for being self-righteous and selfish. And then change my attitude toward those who hurt me, and toward those innocent bystanders who have felt my anger without doing anything to deserve it.
When will I learn this lesson for good? When will I not have to go through this over every little offense that is not accompanied by an apology? I feel ridiculous to still be struggling with something like this. I'm so glad the Lord forgives me - if only I could more readily extend that forgiveness to others, instead of taking so long to realize what is happening.
Unforgiveness is such a sneaky sin. It sneaks into your heart when you aren't paying attention, and you barely realize it's there until it has grown out of control. And then it's painful to cut it out, but once it's out, things begin to heal.
I confess my sin to the Lord, and He helps me root it out. I take steps to change my attitude. I offer a token of renewed friendship; I practiced giving grace to an innocent bystander.
Little by little, I get back on the right track.
It feels so trite to say it now, but it is so true. Refusing to forgive someone really hurts them much less than it hurts you.
Do you ever read a story in the Bible and just wonder if you've ever even read it before?
I'm not lazy in my Bible reading. I've read through the entire Bible several times. So I know, no matter what story it is, I've read it before.
But it's amazing to me how different stories and different verses stand out to me each time I read it. I think it has alot to do with my life situation - I pay attention to certain stories more depending on where I am in life.
This is why it says that God's word is "living and active". The Bible will never become obsolete, and there will always be something new you can take away from it! I love that.
Oh, yes, but back to the story I'm sure I've never read before (that's not true, I vaguely recall it, but it never stood out before).
You know in the Old Testament, when the Hebrew people are in Egypt, and they become a great nation, and the new Pharaoh, who did not know Joseph, enslaved them? Then he decided he needed to start getting rid of the Hebrew boys that were born?
Well, his first plan to get rid of the baby boys was to tell two of the Hebrew midwives (whose names were Shiphrah and Puah) to go ahead and help the Hebrew women deliver, and then kill the new babies if they were boys, but to let the girls live.
I don't know what made him think they would actually obey those orders. I wonder if Shiphrah and Puah were Egyptian or Hebrew themselves? Anyway, the Bible says they feared God and did not do what Pharaoh ordered. (Can you imagine actually obeying an order like that? It makes me shudder.)
So Pharaoh called them and asked them why they didn't obey his orders (that would be so scary - after all, he could order that they be killed).
And they said something along the lines of "Oh, Hebrew women aren't like Egyptian women - they have really fast labors, and we don't get there in time to kill the babies."
Sounds a bit like a lie to me. But the Bible doesn't specify, so maybe that was actually true. Regardless though, Shiphrah and Puah didn't obey Pharoah's orders because they knew it was more important to obey God's orders.
Amazingly Pharaoh did not kill the midwives, the Hebrews continued to multiply, and God was pleased with the midwives because they feared Him and chose to obey Him over Pharaoh.
In fact, God rewards the midwives by giving them families of their own.
Now, isn't that a happy story?
I know the rest of the story goes on and horrible things happen before God delivers the Hebrews out of Egypt. But I like that in this facet of the tale, we have a happy ending on our hands. It's comforting to me to hear another example of God rewarding those who fear Him.
And He does reward us when we choose to obey Him - sometimes we can see those rewards here on earth, and sometimes our rewards don't become evident until eternity, but they are there nonetheless.
Are there any stories or verses that you've read lately that you had forgotten about?
P.S. The above is just a paraphrase of the story in Exodus 1. You should go read it yourself if you're interested.
I'm not lazy in my Bible reading. I've read through the entire Bible several times. So I know, no matter what story it is, I've read it before.
But it's amazing to me how different stories and different verses stand out to me each time I read it. I think it has alot to do with my life situation - I pay attention to certain stories more depending on where I am in life.
This is why it says that God's word is "living and active". The Bible will never become obsolete, and there will always be something new you can take away from it! I love that.
Oh, yes, but back to the story I'm sure I've never read before (that's not true, I vaguely recall it, but it never stood out before).
You know in the Old Testament, when the Hebrew people are in Egypt, and they become a great nation, and the new Pharaoh, who did not know Joseph, enslaved them? Then he decided he needed to start getting rid of the Hebrew boys that were born?
Well, his first plan to get rid of the baby boys was to tell two of the Hebrew midwives (whose names were Shiphrah and Puah) to go ahead and help the Hebrew women deliver, and then kill the new babies if they were boys, but to let the girls live.
I don't know what made him think they would actually obey those orders. I wonder if Shiphrah and Puah were Egyptian or Hebrew themselves? Anyway, the Bible says they feared God and did not do what Pharaoh ordered. (Can you imagine actually obeying an order like that? It makes me shudder.)
So Pharaoh called them and asked them why they didn't obey his orders (that would be so scary - after all, he could order that they be killed).
And they said something along the lines of "Oh, Hebrew women aren't like Egyptian women - they have really fast labors, and we don't get there in time to kill the babies."
Sounds a bit like a lie to me. But the Bible doesn't specify, so maybe that was actually true. Regardless though, Shiphrah and Puah didn't obey Pharoah's orders because they knew it was more important to obey God's orders.
Amazingly Pharaoh did not kill the midwives, the Hebrews continued to multiply, and God was pleased with the midwives because they feared Him and chose to obey Him over Pharaoh.
In fact, God rewards the midwives by giving them families of their own.
Now, isn't that a happy story?
I know the rest of the story goes on and horrible things happen before God delivers the Hebrews out of Egypt. But I like that in this facet of the tale, we have a happy ending on our hands. It's comforting to me to hear another example of God rewarding those who fear Him.
And He does reward us when we choose to obey Him - sometimes we can see those rewards here on earth, and sometimes our rewards don't become evident until eternity, but they are there nonetheless.
Are there any stories or verses that you've read lately that you had forgotten about?
P.S. The above is just a paraphrase of the story in Exodus 1. You should go read it yourself if you're interested.
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