As the end of February approaches, so does my two month anniversary of being off Instagram and Facebook. I've known that my social media habits had crossed over from benign to malignant for a while, but I hadn't realized all the different ways Instagram affected me before. Do I have more time now that I am disconnected from mainstream social media? Sure, but there are other differences I've noticed. I'm sharing some of those changes I've noticed today.
1) I spend less money.
Intellectually, I knew that Instagram and Facebook were affecting the way I spent my money. Targeted advertisements are the bread and butter of Facebook/Instagram, and they are called targeted advertisements for a reason - they are tailor-made to what users would be most interested in buying. The algorithms are serious business and scarily accurate. I have definitely clicked through on too many Instagram ads in my time.
However, I hadn't thought about the other ways that Instagram affected how I spent my money. For one thing, influencer culture is mainly about influencing others to buy things - whether explicitly through sponsored posts, or subtly through aspirational, visually appealing posts. In fact, creating posts on Instagram sometimes led me to buying because I knew something would look pretty for an Instagram photo. Even seeing regular posts from friends and noticing a cute new clothing item someone was wearing, or hearing someone talk about a product that they were loving - all those things have influenced my buying choices whether I realized it at the time or not.
It's only now that I've been off Instagram for a while that I've realized how much less often I have to deal with the urge to buy something. I never thought I struggled with the fear of missing out, but I think the trick of Instagram and Facebook algorithms is figuring out how to find each person's particular brand of FOMO. And somehow they found mine without my seeing it. Being off Instagram, and away from all those influences, has helped me be much more content with the things I have.
2) I am a better parent.
This might be a bold statement, and I don't want anyone else to take it personally - I'm not saying that you are necessarily a worse parent for being on Instagram. I am saying that how social media is affecting our parenting is an area worth considering.
I don't think when I first joined (or rejoined) Facebook and Instagram as a young mom in 2012 that it necessarily affected my parenting negatively. But as time went on, Facebook and Instagram both grew into a whole other beast, in such a gradual way that I didn't realize what it was doing to my relationship with my kids until it had become a problem. In the last couple years I've found myself using Instagram as an escape when I was having a particularly difficult or boring moment as a mom, and as a result I was less present with my kids.
Since being off Instagram (and Facebook), and in fact removing them as an option for me altogether, it's as if I've received a fresh dose of perspective and attention that I didn't know I could have.
Instead of pulling out my phone while my child works through a worksheet or flashcards, I've been right there actively helping them through, and perhaps noticing the cute way a little brow furrows in concentration. Instead of feeling bored, I've found myself actually more patient in those moments than I used to be when Instagram was waiting on my phone.
I tell my kids "just a minute" less often.
I am more on top of household chores and meals, and am finding more satisfaction in those tasks.
The perspective that has come from being disconnected from social media has better equipped me to deal with messes and unexpected difficulties in a calm and patient manner.
Skill in parenting is a hard thing to quantify, and I can't explain it in more definite terms than that. I just know that being off mainstream social media for good has made a world of difference for me in my attitude as a mom.
3) I have more time to think.
This is perhaps the only semi-negative change that I've noticed since being off Instagram. Now that I am not constantly filling my time with the endless scroll, I've had more time to think.
I've thought about some things that haven't crossed my mind in years. I've thought over the ways I've managed my house, my budget, even this blog. I've remembered things that I had almost forgotten.
Unfortunately, for me at least, this has come with confronting some regrets in my life that I had mostly pushed from my mind with a click of the Instagram app before.
Sometime between the week I panicked over not saving enough at all for the kids' college funds and the week where I panicked over not being careful enough with my family's online privacy, I realized that in the past I had numbed these thoughts by distracting myself with Instagram. And now that my source of distraction was gone, I had to face some hard truths.
Let's just say I've had a lot of mental ups and downs over the last month as I have more clearly seen areas where I have not lived up to my ideals, or accomplished my goals. And I'm also a little upset at myself for numbing those feelings for years, with the distraction of Instagram-induced dopamine hits, instead of confronting and fixing the problems.
But as they say, there is no time like the present. Better late than never. As I have been forced to consider my regrets recently, I have also had the mental clarity and space to work through a practical plan to change things as I move forward. So even though facing up to the ways I have failed is a difficult change to go through, ultimately I know it will also be a positive one.
I'm sure I'll notice more changes the longer I'm away from social media, but eventually I am looking forward to finding my own, new balance - in my budget, family life, regrets and goals - without Instagram tipping the scales either way.
For those of you who have taken an Instagram break longer than a month - did you notice any ways your life or thought processes changed? I'd love to hear!
I love this post!
I’ve majorly overhauled my social media presence in the last year or so, also. Most recently, I completely deactivated Facebook. I’m a much happier person for it. I do still have Twitter just because it’s where I keep up on current events, and I migrated back to Instagram but I’m extremely selective about who I follow and who I allow to follow me. I haven’t had the exact same revelations as you have, but I have absolutely noticed I’ve been paying more attention to my kids and other things that have needed some attention (budget overhaul, anyone?). It’s kind of refreshing to finally refuse to allow my phone/apps to control my life in the ways I was allowing them to before.
I think we’ve forgotten how quiet life was before smartphones came on the scene. They definitely serve their purpose, but that’s just it. They should be serving us, and not the other way around.
I am glad that you recognize how good the break has been for you. When I read your post, I immediately thought how Pinterest was for me what IG was for you. I bought more things and I coveted more things due to the, literally, Pinterest worthy images I saw on it. I also spent way too much time on it. I quit cold turkey one day about five years ago and I am so glad that I did (though my quitting wasn´t something I planned. One day when trying to get on to it, I had to log on and I didn´t know my password. I challenged myself to see if I could live without it. Turns out, I could :))
Ugh. Those smart ads. Hate them. I get it...but I don't have to like it. Ha!
Yes! I quit Instagram when all their privacy and tracking policies changed. While I mostly followed helpful parenting or functional nutrition accounts, I completely relate to using it as an escape when feeling bored or needing a minute from the kids, which always turned into too much time scrolling and being impatient with my children. I personally agree that ditching Instagram (I never had Facebook, phew!) has made myself a more present and patient mama. I still find myself reaching for my phone out of habit but I’m getting much better at leaving it be and walking away. I’ve been keeping books of poetry all around the house and have been trying to notice when I really do need a minute and using that time to memorize a line of poetry instead (often reading it aloud to the kids). Thank you for sharing!
I relate to this so much! I never realized how much social media was robbing me of my mental clarity. I have been tackling so many household projects that I’ve been after for years. I really debate whether to go back on just to share my blog posts with readers (most came from IG), but I just don’t know if I can do it, I have too much peace!
Those are some pretty amazing benefits, Callie! I'm actually giving up Instagram for Lent, and I hope that's going to help me beat the addiction. I do still find benefits of Instagram, but I also know it doesn't need to be a daily habit.
Yes! I stopped Instagram around Christmas and don’t miss it like I thought. I’m finding a lot of the same lessons ring true for me too.... although, I’m finding I’m too easily clicking to Facebook (whereas I used to hardy use Facebook).... I see that being the next one to go for me. Habits are hard to break but so freeing.
This post so resonated with me. Everything you shared here is exactly what I also felt and journaled about regarding Instagram. It numbed me and kept me distracted and always wanting more. As hard as it was originally to leave, I am so glad I did. And I'm so glad to have found new friends along the way too! ;)
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