Life Without Instagram - Six Month Check-In

 

It's been over six months since I gave up on Instagram, and in so many ways it's been the best decision I've made in years.  In other ways it's been challenging.  When people ask me if I'm ever going back, I say a solid "I don't know" with a leaning toward a "no".  Since this is no longer a new decision, I've had time to let my emotions settle and really reflect honestly on what I miss and what I don't miss about Instagram.  I thought I'd share some of those things with you today.  

What I Miss

I miss keeping up with a few Instagram-only people.  

There are a few online friends that really only post on Instagram these days, and I am sad that I don't have a good way to keep up with them or interact with them anymore.  Occasionally I'll go to Instagram on my computer and type in a username of one of these people and see the limited posts that I can see publicly, but if it's a private account I'm out of luck.  To me, this is an example of why it is a good thing to diversify your presence online.  I understand that people have limited time, and some may feel that they only have time for producing content in one place online, but when that one platform is a closed platform,  people who are not on that platform are not going to have the chance to see what you share.  I'm in full support of double-posting Instagram posts onto a more open forum (like a blog).  (Consider this my PSA to all my IG-only friends - consider double-posting, maybe?  Blog posts don't have to be long!)

I miss being able to share things quickly.

Sometimes something funny or exciting happens, and I briefly miss the ability to share quickly with friends, family, and online friends.  As I said above, I like the idea, in theory, of still sharing those short snippets on my blog, but I acknowledge that it will always be a little more involved to sit down at my computer and type up a post.  On the other hand, there is a sense in which I think we all have gotten a little too accustomed to instant gratification when sharing online - instant, easy sharing, and instant, cheap feedback (ie. the like button).  So maybe it's okay to re-train myself to let some things simmer a bit longer before blasting them out there online.

I miss being able to easily share photos with my family.

This, honestly, is the biggest drawback of giving up Facebook and Instagram for me.  Those platforms make it so simple to share photos privately (sort of - except for the data collection from the platforms themselves) with the people in my life who really care to see them, and I have yet to find an alternative that I can keep up with consistently.  The solution I am attempting right now is sharing photos of my kids on a private blog, just for my closest family members and friends.  While functionally this is working okay, I find that I do miss the feedback in the form of comments.  But at least they can still see the photos.

What I Do Not Miss

I do not miss the constant product bombardment.  

Every time I would open the app and scroll down even just a few photos, there was someone trying to sell me something - either Instagram itself through ads, or an influencer through sponsored posts and affiliate links.  As my forever favorite radio host, Rush Limbaugh, used to say, "there’s an entire industry out there designed to separate you from your money", and a monster of that industry is Facebook and Instagram.  Even when you are aware of it, and try to avoid the temptation to shop based off products you saw on social media, it's hard to get away from it. Before I got off Instagram, it had gotten to the point where I had disabled my internet browser on my phone, just so I wouldn't be tempted to purchase something on a whim that I had seen on Instagram. Now that I am off Instagram, and away from the deluge of product placements, I find I make impulse purchases less often.  I think critically about what I need for longer before I buy. 

I do not miss online arguments and virtue-signaling.  

I probably don't need to explain this.  It's amazing how much less stress is in my life from eliminating these two things, via eliminating Instagram.

I do not miss having to worry about online privacy so much.

Whether and how much to share about my kids online is something I have struggled with for years, and I've landed in different places at different times.  Right now I'm very much in a keep-my-kids-off-the-internet phase, but I can say that it has become easier to exercise wisdom about what to share without the emotional ties to the visual medium of Instagram playing such a big part.  In addition, there is the culture of comparison and over-sharing that runs rampant on social media, and I have become much more critical-minded about that aspect of online sharing since I left the big platforms.  

I do not miss the subtle ways I was measuring how well I was doing by how everyone else was doing.  

We all do it, whether we are conscious of it or not.  Maybe it's the flashy vacation that makes your modest camping trip feel sub-par. Maybe it's the magazine-worthy home decor that leaves you feeling like your more humble home needs a remodel. Maybe it's the flash of jealousy at all the quiet time that mom manages to find for herself, while you break up the third spat between the kids before 10:00 AM.  Maybe it's comparing the number of followers or likes that makes you feel like you must not be doing something right.  

I've been working on not comparing myself to others for years, and I thought I had achieved a nice equilibrium, but after detoxing from social media it has become obvious that I was still using others as a measuring stick way too much.  

My life is my own, and it's not going to be exactly like anyone else's - it wasn't meant to be.  I don't need to worry about how so-and-so is managing the things God has given to her - my job is to glorify God the best I can with what He has placed in my life right now, to lean on Him for wisdom and strength.  Even when the day-to-day is not very fancy or Instagram-worthy.  

As an aside, I specifically didn't realize how many things I was only doing so I'd have something photogenic to share on Instagram.  When you realize you haven't felt the need to take a picture of your coffee cup in six months, you see how silly it all can become. (The coffee cup/phone photos I took for this post don't count!)

I do not miss getting impatient when I'm interrupted while on social media.  

As a stay-at-home parent, I often escaped the hum-drum nature of my days with a little trip into the world of Instagram, and I can see now how snappy I could get with my kids when they jolted me out of it.  Sometimes it was a question that I had to ask them to repeat because I wasn't really listening.  Sometimes it was a "just a minute" when they asked me to read to them and I was busy typing up a caption.  Sometimes it was just the internal annoyance when something went wrong, because there is that subconscious feeling of "why isn't fill-in-the-blank as easy as it looks on Instagram?"  Some moms may not relate to any of that at all, but I think a lot of moms don't even realize the negative parenting and attitude patterns they've fallen into because of social media - I didn't realize it fully until I got off.  My parenting has improved dramatically since I gave it all up, to the point where I am not sure it will ever be worth it to me to go back.

I do not miss the way social media was making me more self-centered.  

It can happen in a variety of ways, but I've found as I've been off Instagram, it's become more obvious to me the little ways that Instagram made me focus on myself.  There was that worrying about how I look in a picture, trying to think of something original or encouraging to say (mainly to get that ego boost in the form of likes), and the nagging feeling that I was "behind" somehow or not doing something as well as another girl.  Being off Instagram has given me the opportunity to worry less about how I appear or whatever I'm doing, and focus on how others in my family are doing - what they are thinking, things they would like to do, ways I can serve them better.  It's not that I never thought about those things before, I did, but it was a constant battle with the self-focus that Instagram encourages.  Instagram makes narcissists of us all to varying degrees, and it's only when you've been off it for a while that you really start to see it.

I do not miss the way Instagram had become a barrier to my sanctification.

In case you didn't notice, several of the things I do not miss are actually sin issues in my own heart.  Was it Instagram's fault that I was falling into sinful patterns?  No, I don't blame social media necessarily.  Some people may not struggle at all with the things I was dealing with because of social media.  However, do I have a duty to eliminate things that have become stumbling blocks in my life, so that I can live worthy of my calling to holiness in Christ?  Yes, that is the responsibility of every Christian.  

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..." Hebrews 12:1-2. 

While there were some rare accounts that I found to be a spiritual encouragement, the net result of Instagram and Facebook had become a weight and an entanglement for me.  At the root, social media brings out the most selfish corner of my heart.  Is this something that I still need to work on now that I'm off social media?  It definitely is, and the fight against selfishness likely will be a work in progress for my whole life.  But I will say I have more clarity about the ways the Lord is trying to sanctify me than I have in years, and it's easier now, without Instagram, to focus on the right things.

As for the negatives of being off Instagram, I am still mulling over those things and trying to figure out how important they are, or if there are alternative ways of accomplishing the same thing without addictive social media - because overall, the positives of being off are so much more significant and important to me.  The small things I miss about Instagram can't outweigh all the benefits I am seeing from cutting it out of my life.  I don't regret getting off Instagram, and while I don't know what will happen in the future, I am feeling really good about where things stand with me and social media right now.  

The main thing I miss is connecting with all of you in a quicker way, so I am open to suggestions on that front!