Soulmates And Bargain Books

The bargain book section is irresistible to me. I love searching through the rows and rows of books at my local Christian bookstore and seeing if I can pick up anything good for under five bucks. Sometimes you end up getting what you pay for, but occasionally you find a gem hiding between the Christian chick-lit and the reference books.

The latest gem I've found is a book called "When Two Become Three: Nurturing Your Marriage After Baby Arrives" by Mark E. Crawford.

A new baby can sometimes be a challenge to a marriage, just because it's a change. It's completely normal for a baby to change your relationship - but you have to learn to work through the change together. I'm definitely up for improving our marriage relationship, so I snagged this book to see what it had to offer.

So far it's really good - I think it's completely relevant for any married couple, whether you have a new baby or not. And how much did I pay for it? All of three bucks.

Like I said, I love the bargain book section.

I read something in it yesterday that got me thinking:

" . . . A soulmate is created rather than discovered. In other words, if you and your spouse make a commitment to spend years together building a family, creating a mission statement, changing and evolving as people, celebrating life's best moments and sufering through life's worst moment's together, then after many years, you may find that the person you've traveled that journey with is, in fact, your soulmate. "

I had never thought about it that way before, but as I think about that quote now, it makes perfect sense. I think it's probably the best way to look at the marriage relationship.

If you expect that a soulmate is someone that you find, when you go through rough times in your relationship, you may start to think that you made a mistake, and that you didn't marry your "soulmate" after all.

But if you expect that as you travel through the hard times with your spouse, working through the issues in your relationship, going through all of life's changes, building your life together, that you will gradually grow to become soulmates . . . it makes every hard time and every conflict a challenge to overcome together, instead of a trial that can tear you apart.

All of a sudden, the status of being with your "soulmate" isn't something you may or may not find, but something you work toward together, something you achieve when you stick it out through every difficulty, something you can aspire to and reach someday with alot of prayer and effort and God's grace.

There is something precious and beautiful about that.

What do you think? Have you ever thought about the concept of "soulmates" in this way before?

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LeAnna said...

Oh, I totally agree! Love is a choice, and we choose to grow more and more in love with our mate. People change. Situations change. Life changes. Through God's grace we choose to fall deeper in love with our spouse, and cherish them more. It's hard work, I think. Not because loving them is hard, but because we are all sinful fallen individuals, and we must let God shape us into being that help(soul)meet to our spouse.

Amanda said...

that sounds like a great book. i will have to remember that for the future! i can't resist the bargain books either!!!! i always walk away with several! :)

Ashley said...

Cool, thanks for sharing! That sounds like a good book - I'll have to read it one of these days! I agree that we grow together in a marriage over time... even if they are a "soul mate" from the beginning, there's a lot of growing-together that happens along the way.

Kara @ Just1Step said...

I like the quote, and I like the book. :) Dave and I read that book together in the final weeks of my pregnancy. I was very glad we did. :)

Natalie said...

that is an awesome way to think of soul mates. i just always thought that i didn't believe in soul mates because i don't believe in the love at first sight, meant to be togheter version of them, but this sounds much better to me: )

Kayla Rae said...

I love thinking of soulmates that way! And I would love to read that book.

Anonymous said...

I have never heard it put that way, but I like it and agree!!

Amanda said...

I'd never thought about soulmates that way. I guess I tend to think of the idea the way Hollywood portrays it, which I don't buy into at all. But, God wants us to grow closer to our spouses as we grow closer to Him, to share every intimate detail of our lives with one another and that is a beautiful thing. I'm gonna have to get this book!

Felicia said...

I also agree with that statement! To say that soulmates are something you find is totally wrong, because there are 8 billion people on the planet, and that implies that there is only one person meant for another. No, I definitely agree with that quote. :)

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