4 hours ago
I think most of you know that Derek and I had troubles getting pregnant with Wyatt. It took 11 months before we were finally able to conceive.
Technically that leaves me one month shy of being officially considered “infertile”, but I would qualify myself as sub-fertile, and those 11 months were just as painful for me as they would have been if we’d had to wait one more month. It was hard. It hurt. I cried more times than I would care to admit.
I’ve written about our struggles, and some of the lessons I learned while we were waiting. It’s easy to see the purpose of it looking back. I learned to trust God when things don’t go my way. I learned to be content and rest in the knowledge that God knows what He’s doing. I learned that His plans are best. I learned to look for the purpose in trials, and I now have the gift of knowing a little bit about what other girls are going through who are struggling with infertility (which you can’t really appreciate until you’ve gone through it yourself).
In all my previous posts I’ve put a pretty brave face on it. And I know that all of the things I stated in those posts are true.
But when I think about the possibility of us having trouble conceiving our second baby? It still hurts. And it scares me. Because even though I have my first sweet baby and he will make the process so much easier to take the second time around? I still don’t want to go through that again.
I was talking with my mom about this subject the other day, and the words “Why me?” slipped out of my mouth. Why do I have to have fertility problems when so many people get pregnant so easily? Clearly I was having a dramatic moment.
Then my mom said something to me that I don’t think I’ll be forgetting. She gently asked me “Callie, why not you?”
She explained to me what she meant, and I had a miniature epiphany. Because she was right.
Why not me? I have a supportive husband, supportive family, sweet friends to talk with. I have resources. I have the finances to seek treatment if necessary. I have my relationship with the Lord. And I’m not one to let these trials go to waste – I’d rather use what the Lord has brought me through to encourage others.
If someone in the world had to have fertility problems, I’d say I’m an ideal candidate.
God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and sometimes He lets us go through hard times because ultimately it will bring Him glory. With His help I can handle this again, if that’s what He gives me, and He will see me through.
Even if it’s just as hard as last time. Even if it takes longer or more to make it happen. Even if it never happens again at all.
He’s got this, and I’ve got this, and why not me?
Because come what may, He will be walking with us and I’ll be fine.
(2016: Please note that this is a series I wrote several years ago as a general overview of my experience as a homeschool student. If you have any questions about homeschooling and my homeschool experience, please comment below, and I would love to address them in future posts. Thanks for reading!)
I’ve been wanting to start this series on homeschooling, and honestly it’s leaving me overwhelmed. There is so much to say on the subject. I have a million posts written out in my head, and it’s intimidating me to just sit down and type them out. But if I don’t start it’s never going to get written, so please forgive me if this first post is less than stellar. I’m going to start out simply by writing about my own homeschooling experience.
I wasn’t always homeschooled. I went to public school first through third grade. My mom was actually considering homeschooling me in kindergarten, but she got intimidated and decided to send my siblings and me to public school.
Most of my public school memories revolve around me trying to do everything “right” in the classroom, and trying to not to be embarrassed either in front of or by the other kids. But kids are mean, and embarrassing things did happen at times. Those were low points in my educational existence, and I did what I could to be “cool” and not let it happen again.
My mom wanted to be involved in our education, even if she wasn’t teaching us, and she volunteered to help out at the school, so sometimes she would get to see us during the school day. I was never embarrassed by my mom being there. Everyone loved my mom, and I did too.
Being at the school allowed my mom to know more about what was going on with our education, and little things started to bother her.
For example, we had storytime in the school library, and she didn’t agree with some of the things in these seemingly harmless children’s books (it amazing how agendas are sneaked into books for kids).
Apparently I was also a little over-obsessed with the “rules”. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but my mom started noticing that during the school year I would get very serious and concerned with doing everything “right”. There were times when she stopped by my classroom, and I would barely glance at her, maybe give her a quick smile, but then I wouldn’t look at her again for fear of getting in trouble. During the summer I would usually get back to my happy, care-free self, but over the couple years I was in school she noticed that it took me longer and longer to get back to normal.
This is a good example of why it’s important to consider the individual child’s needs when looking at education choices – not every kid has this “personality change” problem because they go to public school, but I did.
Mostly her concerns were just a bunch of little things, but in combination with the fact that homeschooling was at the back of her mind anyway – well, it started to all add up.
From what I remember, the final straw was when she was looking over the agenda for the rest of the school year and noticed that they were planning on taking my class on a field trip to a Buddhist temple (which I still find incredible – you know they would never consider taking kids on a field trip to a church, but it’s okay to go to a Buddhist temple?).
As a Christian this was disturbing to her (it would be to me too!), and she and my dad decided she could teach us herself. Being at the school with us for those years gave her confidence that she could teach us what we needed to know, and my dad was totally on board.
So the year I started fourth grade, I woke up, got dressed, pretended to take the “bus” upstairs, and started my first day of school at home.
To read the rest of my homeschool story, check out these posts:
Disclaimer: I feel the need to include this, because I know many of you are teachers. I am not a fan of the public school system, and I plan to homeschool my own kids - which is part of the reason I have written out my story, to remind myself of where I came. However, I do think the majority of teachers in the public school system do the best they can, and I’m sure each of you reading who might teach in public school are amazing at your jobs! So please keep that in mind as you read.
I tossed around several ideas for Wyatt’s first birthday party theme, but the second that the thought of a cowboy theme came up, I knew that was what I wanted to do. Here are some pictures of the invitations, decorations, and food for Wyatt’s First Birthday Round-Up!
Invitations: I made them myself with a blank card set and my scrapbooking software.
1. I ordered a reprint of a 1950’s children’s book to use as a guestbook – guests wrote Wyatt a birthday message on the inside.
2. I made “Cowboy” Coffee Cupcakes and Root Beer Float Cupcakes, and I baked them in mason jars – I made the tags and tied them to the jars with raffia.
3. I made the “Happy Birthday” banner with burlap and cowboy fabric, then stenciled the letters onto it.
5. Ordered the birthday cake from King Soopers.
6. Root Beer Float station.
7. Monthly picture banner – I used string and mini clothespins to hang up Wyatt’s monthly pictures. It was a great way for everyone to see how much he’s grown during his first year.
8. We served coffee, and I made the sign that says “Coffee – strong enough to float a horseshoe.” Derek had all my signs and tags laminated for me.
9. Wyatt’s highchair, with a sign that says “This seat is reserved for the Birthday Cowboy, Wyatt!”
10. Guest book station, and I also put out a stuffed bear that Derek bought for me while I was in labor. I had a picture of Wyatt as a newborn with the bear that I displayed for comparison. He was barely bigger than that teddy bear!
11. Chili and cornbread for dinner.
12. Birthday Boy shirt from Target (on clearance last summer).
13. Tied the balloons up with thread – so much better than trying to use tape!
The links are either to recipes, or to some of the ideas that we modified or used for our party.
Overall, I’m really happy with the way everything turned out – I gathered everything gradually over the last six months, so it didn’t hurt my wallet much; I had a lot of fun making the banners and signs and putting everything together; the mason jars, rafia, and twine I’ll use for other projects in the future, so the extra won’t go to waste; and the decorations aren’t specific to a first birthday, so I can keep all the decorations and do another cowboy-themed party a few years down the road!
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