Note: I wrote this post as a type of newsletter for my local homeschool support group, after my thoughts were originally stirred by this Instagram post. I hope you all get some encouragement from it too!
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In many, many ways, homeschooling is easier now than ever before. There are so many curriculum companies, so many resources, so much inspiration and ideas. Back in my mom’s day, there were basically two major curriculum companies for homeschooling, and that was about it. We have an embarrassment of riches in the homeschool community now, and that really is a blessing.
But along with the amount of resources and moms sharing their homeschool journeys online, I think the mom in the trenches can sometimes get her homeschool vision skewed. So many people are sharing the fun things they are doing, or the different ways they are educating, complete with beautiful photos of elaborate projects and smiling faces. Many wax poetic about how wonderful homeschooling is, how much freedom it’s brought their family. I am confident this is all true and coming from a good place. Homeschooling is portrayed as beautiful, peaceful, aspirational, joyous even; a chance to take charge of your child’s education and homeschool them according to their own needs, a chance to give them the joy of learning. And homeschooling can be and often is all those things! But along they way, maybe some moms are picking up an idea, even subconsciously, that if homeschooling is not smooth sailing, maybe it’s not right.
We homeschool moms don’t as often share when we are going through a hard season of homeschooling. We don’t want to discourage potential homeschool moms from giving it a try, so we are quiet about the times when our child breaks down crying over copywork, when doors slam and frustration boils over, when school takes longer than a full time job would each day. We tuck it aside, save it to cry about to our husband or mom later, and put on a good face for our mom friends. But maybe we secretly wonder if we’re really supposed to be this exhausted, if maybe we’re doing it wrong, or if homeschooling isn’t really what we’re supposed to be doing at all.
Sometimes the advice is “lighten up a little bit”, “don’t worry so much about academics”, and “connection over curriculum - just put the books away for the day”. And maybe sometimes that advice is the answer. But it actually can’t be the answer to do that every day - the bookwork actually does need to get done eventually, and your child does need to learn to multiply someday, and if we lighten the workload forever we’re not actually not doing ourselves or the kids a favor. Self-discipline has to be learned in it’s own way in homeschooling, by child and mom. Putting the books aside can’t always be the solution. My mom used to say “it doesn’t have to be fun, it just has to get done”, and that’s a truism that homeschool moms don’t like to admit anymore, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still true.
Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile. Just because there are bumps along the way, maybe whole years where homeschooling is a struggle, that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing for your family. Just because no one is having fun right now, doesn’t mean you’ll be deprived of joy forever. A good marriage, for instance, is hard work, but we know how much joy and fulfillment comes when we stick it out through thick and thin, and we know that marriage is a good thing worth fighting for, even when we experience difficult seasons. I view homeschooling in much the same way.
The truth is (and I feel confident in saying you could ask any longterm homeschool veteran and she will confirm this), homeschooling is not always fun. It is actually hard work. There are going to be rough patches, rough seasons, rough years. It takes a level of grit, self-sacrifice, and mental toughness on the part of mom to make it for the long haul, and this is true no matter what style of homeschooling you choose.
Homeschooling takes a determination to see through the rough times until you come out on the other side, because everyone experiences struggles (they just don’t talk about it), and this too shall pass. It takes endurance to train your kids in study skills, self-discipline, and character development to make your days run smoother, and that’s not always fun. There often will be tears along the way. These are growing pains. These struggles don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It may mean you’re going to have to put in a little more effort and time into helping your child mature and grow…until one day you’re making dinner and realize that your child did a whole math worksheet today without breaking down. Until you notice that they actually read their Bible and pulled out their school books after breakfast without being asked. Until you see that instead of bickering with their younger sibling as per usual, they are on the couch helping their sibling work through a chapter book.
And that is when you get that surge of joy. So stiffen your spine, homeschool mom, and “learn to love what must be done*”, even when it’s hard. Pray for wisdom, pray for endurance, pray for patience, and stick it out. There will be joy along the way.
May God reward your work, friends, and I know He will when we homeschool as unto Him.
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*This is a phrase I think I originally heard from Mystic Winckler or Karen Andreola, but is attributed online to the poet, Goethe. I don't know where I heard it first, but it has become a refrain for my homeschool.
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