17 hours ago
My grandma on my dad’s side died when I was around nine years old. I remember crying at her funeral, but I don’t think I fully realized at the time what I lost.
My grandma was a really neat lady by all accounts. I remember her pulling out the toys for us to play when we went over to visit, and going over with my mom one day to make a fall wreath craft together. In my mind's eye, I see her funny magnets on the fridge, and her glasses, and her big welcoming smile. I wish I would have had a chance to know her as an adult, but I will know her when I meet her in Heaven.
In my living room, I have two blankets she crocheted. The stitches are intricate, and the colors are bright. Even though she passed away before I was old enough to really know her, every time I see her blankets in the corner, I remember.
There is something valuable about a hobby that allows you to create something tangible, something to pass down. Something your descendants can point to and say “My great-grandmother made that.“
I have other things around the house that have been made for me, hand towels and table runners and baby blankets that were crocheted for me by dear ladies in the church where I grew up. I have quilts my mom helped me make as a kid, the baby book she covered in fabric and decorated for me. And there are wooden bowls, a gorgeous cutting board, and the quilt rack that holds my grandmother’s blankets - all made by my grandpa.
For years now I’ve been searching for a hobby that creates something that my kids can see and hold. Scripture tells us we can know things about God by the things which He made, and I think there is a sense in which that is true for us humans too. I never got to know my grandma as an adult, but even now I can know some things about her by the gorgeous blankets she made.
Material things aren’t as important as people, but they can remind us of people we love, and they can remind us where we come from. Holding something in our hands isn’t the same as knowing the person who created it, but we can know something about the person by the things they made. Tangible things aren’t everything, but they aren’t nothing. There is value in creating something you can touch.
(An afghan my grandma made.)
When I was 12, my mom decided we kids should learn how to sew. She broke out the fabric scrap box, and she helped each one of us stitch together a quilt. That was the first quilt I made, full of cotton scraps and denim. It was backed with flannel, and it had a nice weight to it. I still have it on my blanket shelf, and that was the quilt that taught me it’s actually not that difficult to put together a quilt. It’s tough to do intricate designs and have every seam perfect, but to piece together a snugly couch blanket didn’t have to be complicated or intimidating.
When I was 14 or 15, the sweet old ladies in our little white church decided to teach all the church kids how to quilt. They brought their own fabric stashes, and we each picked through them for our lap-quilts, the perfect size for covering your legs outside or taking a nap in the car.
When I was pregnant with my first, crib bedding was popular. We all understood you couldn’t actually put that crib blanket on your newborn - at best it would drape over the side of the crib when visitors wanted to peek at the nursery, a merely decorative touch. But I still wanted one, and I couldn’t find a blanket in colors I liked, so I made one myself. I understood at the time that I was obligating myself to make a blanket for each one of my kids - little did I know that four more baby quilts would follow that first one.
I learned from those baby quilts that certain fabrics are more difficult to work with than others, sherpa backing would unfortunately get matted in the wash, long-arm quilters like all the seams to be pressed as perfectly as possible, and I could machine-quilt my blankets at home if I just did straight lines.
After all those years of quilts (I had five kids in seven years), I tucked my sewing machine into a cupboard and forgot about it, until I saw flag quilts popping up online this May. Inspiration struck. I knew I could piece together a flag quilt no problem, and it seemed like a lovely way to commemorate the 250th birthday of America.
So last month I set up my sewing table, dug out my rotary cutter, and got to work. One quilt accidentally turned into two when I couldn’t decide if I wanted a dark or light color scheme.
I learned from these quilts that a blanket from Amazon works just fine as a quilt backing, a walking foot really does make the quilting process easier, there will be a point in every quilt where you want to pull your hair out, my eyes are getting older, and my kids are mesmerized by the whole process. My children are already negotiating who gets to use the quilt when, and I know I need to (slowly) make at least a couple more.
All this talk about making something that can be held reminds me not to get too caught up in this digital world. My grandkids may not ever look up my Instagram account or blog, but they will flip through albums of pictures I took, or read words I wrote on a page. And maybe if I take the time, they can do those things while snuggled under a blanket I made too - snuggled under these very quilts. When I am gone, they can touch something my own hands created, piece by piece.
Do you have anything that was passed down to you? Or have you made anything you can pass down to those who come after you?
Note: If the beginning of this post feels familiar, it's because it is a re-write of something I shared on this topic years ago.
The first time I heard the term “apologetics” was in a worldview study I did with my youth group when I was 15 years old. I had always been solid in my faith, but I remember that study being so interesting and helpful as I considered how to communicate the “reasons for the hope within you” (1 Peter 3:15). I went through another round of being interested in apologetics in my early 20s, listening to various podcasts, and reading books like The Case For Christ.
However, my relationship with apologetics quickly became a bit complicated the deeper I got into it. I became aware that there are different approaches to apologetics, and they are not all necessarily biblical. I witnessed different apologists critique methods used by others, which forced me to think through those things myself. Under the surface of all this was the sneaky suspicion that all this apologetics knowledge was not actually helping me - though it was interesting, I never needed apologetics to convince me that my faith was reasonable, and I was developing a feeling of inadequacy. I was never going to be able to remember all this information in an actual conversation about my faith.
I kind of veered away from my interest in apologetics over time, but after I became a mom and my kids grew older, the apologetics conversation became present everywhere I turned. “We need to be teaching kids apologetics!” was being shouted from every corner, and I didn’t necessarily disagree. But my uneasiness remained.
My husband and I have talked through this topic extensively, and I always feel able to communicate my thoughts so well in our private conversations, but it’s challenging to be as clear in writing or as honest in other conversations about the pitfalls I see in some aspects of apologetics. In this article, I am going to try to outline my thoughts, as a layperson who is very much not an expert on the subject. I don’t want to come across over-critical, or as if I don’t like apologetics at all! I think it can be interesting to study apologetics and very helpful for some people, and I enjoy reading about apologetics from trusted sources myself. But I believe we need to approach modern apologetics with some foundational understandings, or we could end up doing some harm.
1. Apologetics cannot be the basis for truth.
This is the point I have the most difficulty in articulating, so bear with me.
For years I have read books and heard podcasts about the “reasonableness” of Christianity, or how it’s logically consistent, or how there is so much evidence for this or that being true. And I don’t disagree with any of that. At the same time, we need to understand that someone can have a belief that is logically consistent based on the available evidence, and that belief can still be untrue. A belief that is true will be reasonable and logical and have evidence behind it, sure, but those things aren’t what make that belief true.
The real question is, what is the source of truth? Is it only based on things we see in the physical world? How do we know the physical world is actually real and not just a simulation, as some argue? Where does logic even come from, and why does it work? I hope you see the dilemma.
Logic only proves the consistency of a line of thinking, it doesn’t prove something as true. Physical evidence can be interpreted in many ways, which is why our understanding of science and history is constantly shifting as new physical evidence comes to the surface. So how can we know anything we believe about anything is actually true?
There has to be something behind it all. Truth, with a capital T, comes from somewhere else, outside of evidence and logic - it has to have a source. A good apologetics method needs to recognize that everyone is ultimately relying on their underlying source of truth, and some “sources” are as shaky as whatever they can see with their eyes. Our understanding of truth, as Christians, should not be so shallow. As Christians, we understand that we can only know something is true insofar as it aligns with the only source of Truth, which is God Himself.
2. Apologetics approaches that argue without using the Bible are actually undermining the Bible.
There is an ad going around Instagram as we speak for a “theology” curriculum that proudly proclaims that it will teach your kids how to argue for Christianity without using the Bible. I know people who have purchased it. I wonder if they understand how insidious such an approach is.
I went to a talk by Renton Rathbun recently, and he used an illustration that makes the point well, so I’m going to borrow it. Suppose you have a ruler you are using to measure something. You aren’t too sure about that ruler though, and feel like you need to confirm the measurement. So you get another ruler, and measure again with that ruler. Which ruler has now become the standard for an accurate measurement? The second ruler has become the standard by which you are now measuring the first. You can introduce as many new rulers as you want, and each new ruler becomes the standard by which you are evaluating all the others. At some point you need to pick THE standard and measure all the rulers by that one standard.
When we are “measuring” Christianity so to speak, God’s Word is the standard by which all else must be measured. If we are using something else to “confirm” the Bible, whether it be archeological evidence, logical arguments, etc., we are now setting those things as the standards and judging God’s Word by them!
This mistake is so subtle and unfortunately so common. For the Christian, God’s revelation of Himself through the special revelation of the Bible must be the standard. We cannot set the Bible aside and argue from lesser “standards” or we are undermining the very source of truth that God has given us. And as I tried to establish in the first point, without God Himself as the source of truth, which He has given to us most clearly in His Word, there is no way to know what is true at all.
3. Apologetics cannot protect your children from unbelief.
I want to reiterate here that I think it is definitely a good thing to teach our kids apologetics, especially a good apologetics method that is based on the understandings I tried to communicate above. I wouldn’t want to discourage someone away from apologetics altogether. I think apologetics can be encouraging for the Christian, and I think knowing how to communicate apologetic information to unbelievers can remove some barriers to them believing the gospel. We are told to “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God” (1 Cor. 10:5), and apologetics is certainly part of that.
My concern starts to arise when I see moms put too much faith in apologetics as the thing that is going to keep their child in the faith. You see this with statements like “Your kids need to study apologetics so their faith isn’t destroyed in college.” The attitude seems to be that if we give our kids enough evidence, they will have to believe, and then they will be protected from arguments from atheistic professors or friends. This is making apologetics into an idol. “Evidence” is a shaky basis for belief because someone can always bring different “evidence” that can seem very persuasive.
Like me, I am sure you have watched many a wonderful debate between Christian apologists and atheists. If presenting the evidence was all it took for someone to believe, we should see people falling on their knees and repenting right there. But clearly apologetics arguments are not enough to make someone believe.
We forget that salvation only comes from a work of the Holy Spirit on someone’s heart. Our faith does not come from an airtight argument, it comes from God Himself, by His grace. Without His conviction, we all would continue suppressing the truth in unrighteousness (Romans 1:18). God is the one that draws us (John 6:44), and the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin (John 16:8). When we are saved no one can snatch us out of Jesus’s hand (John 10:28-30). God is the one who grants us repentance, and the work He begins in us will be carried out to completion because He is faithful (Philippians 1:6).
We can give our kids all the evidence in the world, but it doesn’t guarantee their salvation and endurance in the faith - and that’s scary for us moms! But even so, it is a mistake to put our hope in apologetics. We must bring our kids before God in prayer for their salvation and spiritual growth, and tell them the gospel every chance we get. This doesn’t mean we don’t prepare our kids to face the secular arguments they will encounter throughout their lives, we should do that. But our faith needs to be in the One who will hold them fast, not in the arguments of fallible men. As we teach our kids apologetics, it should be from the perspective that God will help them persevere to the end.
4. Apologetics conversations should always lead to the gospel.
What is the purpose of apologetics, anyway? Is it mainly for Christians, or unbelievers? The word “apologetics” comes from the Greek “apologia”, which means to give a verbal defense. This is a biblical idea, since we are to demolish arguments that are raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). I think there is a role here in apologetics for encouraging the Christian, but what about in conversations with unbelievers?
This brings me back to the discouragement with apologetics that I developed years ago. I would listen to extremely smart apologists communicate the evidence, I read alot of books, and I often found myself rehearsing imaginary conversations in my mind. How would I communicate the evidence if I were to get into this kind of conversation? There was no way I could remember it all! It left me feeling that I could never succeed in apologetics without memorizing vast amounts of information and being ready at a moment’s notice for a debate, and that was intimidating.
In the end though, I was overcomplicating it. Apologetics should not be used to beat someone over the head with information. The end goal needs to be to communicate the gospel - and that is much less intimidating.
I’ve seen some expert apologists tear down every argument raised in debates with unbelievers, but that in itself does not bring a person to faith. We must use apologetics in conversations with unbelievers not to “own” the debate, but to bring them to the gospel message. If we forget this part, what is it all for anyway? We might look all smart and knowledgeable, but the souls of our opponents are just as lost. If we never get to the gospel, apologetics is not glorifying God, it is just glorifying ourselves.
There is an art to this, and I won’t pretend I have ever done it well in conversation myself. But it hurts me when Christian apologists are criticized (by other Christians, even) for not sticking to the debate because they tried too hard to preach the gospel in the conversation. The gospel (not apologetics) is the power of God for salvation to those who believe (Romans 1:16). Any apologetics instruction that does not also teach us how to point every conversation back to the salvation that only comes through faith in Jesus Christ - well, it’s just missing the whole point.
I’m writing this article from the perspective of a Christian mom, and I know that is also most of you who will be reading this. I hope I’ve convinced you to take care when choosing apologetics books for yourself or your kids. It takes discernment to evaluate apologetics sources for what they are holding up as the source of truth - some are obviously excluding God’s Word, but watch out for subtle undermining too. I hope I’ve also been able to remind you that our faith is in God, not in apologetic arguments, and the gospel is the key to the whole thing.
To close this article, I’ll share a few books I’ve read, in whole or in part, that approach apologetics in the way I’ve argued for here. I’m also including a couple podcasts. I wish you wisdom and discernment as you learn more about apologetics, and I pray you remember to keep Christ in the center, “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge"(Colossians 2:3).
Recommended Resources:
Expository Apologetics by Voddie Baucham - Baucham shows us how Paul himself argued apologetically in Scripture, and how to have biblical apologetics conversations ourselves.
The Ultimate Proof Of Creation by Jason Lisle - Lisle communicates problems with different approaches to apologetics, before giving us the “ultimate proof” - I haven’t finished this one yet, but I can see where he is going with it enough to recommend it.
Every Believer Confident by Mark Farnham - If you aren’t sure how to bring an apologetics conversation back to a personal level that leads to sharing the gospel, I think this is the definitive guide for how to do that.
The Renton Rathbun Show by Renton Rathbun - Rathbun actually has a PhD in Apologetics, and he has thought through the deeper issues with certain apologetics approaches. I’ve really been enjoying his conversations on this podcast.
Wretched Radio by Todd Friel - Particularly look for the “Witness Wednesday” episodes. Friel goes to college campuses and has actual conversations with students, including apologetics arguments, but in a gentle and compassionate way that always brings the student to the good news of salvation. This podcast is the main resource that has given me confidence that I could handle a witness opportunity with an unbeliever. Also see: Ray Comfort at Living Waters on Youtube.
Birds are squawking from a pine tree above my head right now. I hear more than see hummingbirds whizzing around my back porch, and I spotted a robin shaking the branches of a bush before alighting on a rock and peering toward me, the mountains behind, blue in the distance.
Every morning that I can I try to start my day with reading my Bible and various other books on my porch. The sun doesn’t hit it directly in the morning, thanks to a leaning ponderosa pine, and so it stays comfortable and cool for several hours. Still, I enjoy it a little later in the morning when the porch becomes too hot to walk on with bare feet. It doesn’t feel like summer until I’ve spent at least some time doing absolutely nothing while soaking up the warmth of the sun.
Here’s what I’ve been doing in the real world so far this summer.
Visiting friends in Idaho. Our friends live on a lake, so they took us kayaking and tubing while we were there! It was a relaxing and enjoyable trip over a long weekend. I also read this book on the way there, and this book on the way back, and both were delightful.
Going to our first airshow in Washington. Our friends suggested we go, and I’m so glad they did, because the whole family loved it. We got to walk inside a cargo plane, we saw several historic planes fly, including one WW2 plane that is the last of it’s kind that still flies in the world (I think maybe it was a P-38?). We watched a daredevil hanging out of a prop plane before skydiving to the ground, we watched a trick plane do loops that seemed impossible. And it was all topped off by flyovers by F-16s that made the ground vibrate.
Attended a homeschool conference. Every year I wonder if I should go to the homeschool conference or not, since at this point I feel like I’ve heard everything there is to say about homeschooling. But every year I go and I’m glad I did. This year I heard this speaker who was new to me, and I so appreciated his perspective on apologetics since he voiced some issues I’ve had with some approaches. Maybe I’ll write more about that sometime.
Our Kentucky friends came into town. We spent almost every day hanging out with our friends while they were here! We went to the pool, went to parks, hung around our house, and just enjoyed spending time together. I’m so thankful for friendships that are solid enough to thrive even long-distance.
Finished up biology dissections. My oldest took biology last school year (this curriculum), and we ended up with some formaldehyde-soaked critters for free because of a shipping error. So we had some friends over to do dissections and just hang out.
Celebrated 4th of July at a baseball game. We were racking our brains for something special to do for America’s 250th birthday. We toyed with the idea of taking a trip somewhere, but we also knew we’d be exhausted after such a busy June, so we opted for a baseball game. It was the right choice - not only was it one of the only places around to see real fireworks this year (because of a high fire risk in the mountains), it was also so fun and patriotic. The crowd was dressed in red, white, and blue garb, we got to sing the national anthem (obviously) and also “God Bless America” at the 7th inning stretch. Then we listened to patriotic music while watching the best fireworks show I’ve ever seen, with a hyped-up crowd cheering all around. 10 out of 10, highly recommend.
Movie nights on the porch. In the summer, every chance we get, we drag out kitchen bench out to the porch, set up our tv on top of it, and settle in with sleeping bags and blankets to enjoy a movie night outside. So far we have watched The Great Awakening - I was skeptical at first but ended up loving it - and the classic, The Sandlot.
Got my hair highlighted and colored. Summer is always the season for a hair refresh for me.
Visiting my grandma for a weekend. I feel so lucky that the kids get to know their great-grandparents - I never got to know mine, and it’s a special thing.
Went to see several movies. We saw The Breadwinner (funny), Toy Story 5 (I enjoyed it), and Young Washington(spectacular). Next on the list is The Brink Of War in August - I love all these historical movies that are coming out lately!
Started a flag quilt. I have not sewn anything in years, but I got it in my head to make a flag quilt like this in honor of the 250th. Unfortunately I didn’t have time to finish it before Independence Day, but the Declaration of Independence was actually signed by most of the delegates on August 2nd, so that’s my new target date.
Rescued a hummingbird that got trapped in our house. Our house is on a very bird-friendly piece of property, so we get quite a lot of hummingbirds each year, and occasionally one will accidentally fly through an open door and get trapped in our house. I cannot tell you how stressful this is, because I have an abiding love of hummingbirds, and I would hate to see one die. This bird exhausted itself trying to get out our skylight, and then eventually landed on our floor, where my husband was able to grab it and take it outside. We gave him a round of applause for saving the bird!
What is not happening right now: any homeschool planning whatsoever. By the end of each homeschool year I am usually thoroughly exhausted, but unfortunately each summer starts with more homeschool stuff because of the conference. Then my mind runs in circles trying to make decisions about curriculum and thinking through my co-op class for the upcoming year, and if I’m not careful I never actually get a break from homeschooling. So I’ve banned myself from doing any planning or buying any curriculum until the beginning of August. July is about doing all the things I never have time for, taking care of my house, going to the pool, and generally just remembering how to be a normal person apart from the “homeschool mom” label. Some homeschool articles may be coming as we approach fall, but not until then.
Upcoming summer fun:
Lots of pool days
Hiking and fishing
Backyard camping in our tent
A bubble festival
Dragon boat races
More movie nights
Lots of reading on the porch
Editing and sorting through photos that have been sitting in my phone
Canning project- probably blueberry jam and apple butter
Baking sourdough again
Painting mugs, and other crafts
Finishing a quilt or two
I’m terrible at ending these chatty posts, so I’ll just ask - what is something that you do in the summer that is just for you? I hope you are hitting just the right balance of summer fun and slowness, as I am trying to!
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