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Showing posts with label With Grit And Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label With Grit And Grace. Show all posts
January is a time for evaluating and tweaking. I’m not so much for making grand New Year’s resolutions, but I do think the New Year is a good time to take stock and see what things need adjusting. I saw this post format on A Gentle Defiance, and I liked the idea of thinking through what I’d like to continue from the previous year (it’s important to acknowledge successes), and what things I wish would have been better.
What Worked
Adding a little more to my proverbial plate.
When my kids were little, it was all I could do to take care of them and my home. I found myself overwhelmed and stressed with too many outside commitments, and I came to the realization that I needed to ruthlessly cut them out. It was the best thing I could have done for my own mental state and my family in that stage of life, and I regret nothing. However, over the last couple years I found myself with more space to take on new projects - and as I’ve added more work to my metaphorical plate, it hasn’t seemed overwhelming, but motivating. Overall, my being ready to take on a little bit more has meant more meaningful community and experiences for myself and the kids. I think it’s so important to know your limits - and that involves knowing when to cut back as well as knowing when to add things in.
Waking up early.
This year I bumped my wake-up time back another hour, and I’ve been more consistent than ever in having quiet coffee and reading time before my kids wake up. It’s been a game changer for me in providing time for meaningful Bible study and letting me get through some tougher books. It is definitely something that I will be continuing in 2025.
Changing our homeschool history curriculum.
This school year I decided to jump into a Charlotte Mason style with both feet, especially when it comes to teaching history, geography, and literature to my kids. I am by no means a purist, but I have always loved the idea of teaching history through living books, as opposed to textbooks. With my oldest starting 8th grade, this seemed like the year to figure out if this style of education was for us, and it has been a rousing success so far! I will give a more complete opinion once we have finished the school year, but we are doing this curriculum (with some adaptations), and everyone is enjoying it.
Being more aware of how I’m spending our money.
I wrote last year about starting a short no-buy project, and even though I don’t feel it was a total success, it kicked off a full year of being more conscious of my spending. I watched Youtube channels about no-buy journeys and no-buy advice, I am slowly reading books about contentment and shopping habits, and I’ve set various limits on my shopping and spending from month to month. Developing better habits isn’t a one-year project but something I’ll need to continually tweak. Just keeping these topics in mind has changed the way I think about the things I buy, and it’s been positive. I’m excited to keep working on this and hope to write more in 2025.
Figuring out my own style again.
I’ve always enjoyed clothes and taken enjoyment out of developing my style, but after taking a nearly 8 year break from normal clothes when I was pregnant and postpartum, I started floundering when it came to shopping and getting dressed. Somewhere along the way my style had become merely buying whatever I thought looked good on someone else - I had lost my own sense of style. I spent this year sorting through my closet and cleared out many things that don’t make me feel my best, considering what makes a certain outfit or item of clothing feel like “me”. Putting the effort into this has helped me avoid buying trendy items or being influenced to buy things because I saw it on social media. This process is just starting for me, but I’m more excited about my closet and more satisfied with my purchases since trying to figure this out.
Satisfaction in the kitchen and learning new things.
This year I was much more consistent in my bread-baking. I bake bread in a bread machine with fresh ground grains, and it took me years to perfect the recipe for my particular altitude. I made bread nearly bi-weekly for much of the year, and it is wonderful to be using a skill I’ve worked on for so long to benefit my family.
The new thing I learned was how to water-bath can - as in preserving food. I have a generous friend from our church who took me under her wing this last summer and taught me how to safely can at home. I’m thankful to her for giving me the courage to try something new! On her recommendation I’ve read the safety guidelines from this book, and I’ve made and canned blueberry jam, apple pie in-a-jar, apple butter, and candied jalapeños. Hearing the pop of the safety lid on my jars is so satisfying.
What Didn’t Work
My reading was all over the place.
I found myself in a reading rut multiple times this year, and it’s going to take some evaluating to figure out exactly way. I read barely anything in the first quarter of 2024, and I was disappointed in my progress in the books I was reading. I suspect I was trying to read too many “stiff” books at once. Stiff books are challenging books, and I learned from personal experience that reading all challenging books means that when I am lacking the mental energy for that kind of book I just won’t read at all. Karen Andreola recommends having one “stiff” book, one moderately easy book, and one novel going at a time, and I think this balance is something I’d like to incorporate into my reading life in 2025.
I lacked the consistency to complete projects, especially in the summer.
My goal for the summer was to organize the ridiculous stack of papers stuffed into my nightstand shelf, and to print photos from previous years and get them into albums. I did neither of those things, and it was out of pure laziness. I need to figure out a way to consistently work on these multi-part projects in a manageable way. My current pattern is to spend one or two exhaustingly tedious days trying to complete everything at once, not finishing, and then avoiding continuing that project for months because the last time I worked on it was so tiring.
I didn’t save enough money.
In 2024 my focus was on being more aware of my spending habits, but toward the end of the year I decided to translate that into also saving more money. I have done much better at designating money for savings in the last couple months, but I could have helped the family out with various expenses if that had been a focus for more of my year. So in 2025, I am intentionally saving for some very specific things, and doing that will help me not only with shopping habits, but will bring more tangible benefits to my family as well.
I wasn’t consistent enough with vitamins and drinking water.
There are a few supplements that I need to be taking, per my doctor, but my consistency leaves something to be desired. I also have a tendency to reach for the coffee pot more than my water bottle, and I’d like to be better about hydrating in 2025.
Wasting too much time consuming media.
I often find myself turning on a Youtube video or a podcast “just while I clean the kitchen”, and before I know it I’ve wasted a couple hours fiddling around the house while I listen. That time could be used reading, or learning to crochet, or writing here. And don’t even get me started on scrolling on Instagram - I’m much better at controlling my consumption of social media than in the past, but there is still much improvement to be had. My goal is to spend more time creatively producing, and to have that outweigh time spent consuming this year.
As I look at this list, I’m excited to see what 2025 will bring. I hope this will be a year of more meaningful reading, getting myself organized, managing money more wisely, and enjoying my time with loved ones and friends. And I hope the same for you!
Leave me a comment!
What is one thing that worked for you last year, and one thing that needs to change?
January is a time for fresh starts and making plans, but that's not how I've been feeling lately. I've been feeling more like hunkering down than exploring, and more like keeping on than making plans.
But Derek and I had a rare date a few weeks ago - we went to see Little Women: The Musical with friends, and it was so fun. On the drive to the play we finally fit in our yearly "What do we have to look forward to this year" talk, and after Derek told me several of his wonderful goals, he asked me what I wanted to do this year. And I found myself a bit stuck, because of the aforementioned funk I've been in.
However, after some prompting, he did get me to start thinking about some goals I could set, even just fun ones, and I came up with a little list. Since then I've thought of several more things I'd like to accomplish, but I'm going to try something different this year and NOT overdo it on my goals. Instead I've chosen just three weekly goals I'd like to work on as we start 2023, and maybe if these three become rather ingrained, I will move on to adding more later.
1. Write one letter a week.
I've made a goal a couple years in a row now to write more letters, but other goals keep taking priority. I'd like to change that this year. I think letter-writing is quite a time-honored thing, and it shouldn't be lost. Letter-writing is a way to send encouragement to those who may need it, to connect personally even over a distance. It's meaningful in a way that online interactions aren't, because writing a letter takes more thought and effort. I've also been reading about different figures in church history this past year, and it strikes me how many of them made an impact through personal letters - some of them containing so much wisdom that they are still read by people today. And letters are a way to record a moment in history too - that's how we know alot of the details from history, because someone wrote to someone else about it in a letter. There is a rich tradition there, and there is nothing quite like opening your mailbox and seeing a personal letter, is there? So I really do want to prioritize letters this year.
2. Work on my family tree one afternoon a week.
Derek's mom has done an amazing amount of research into their family tree - she has her ancestry traced back to the 1000s. She made a generous offer to help us pay for an ancestry.com account so that I can fill in my branch of the family tree, and I want to make working on that a priority this year. Even if I only get an hour to work on it, I'd like to spend time researching at least one afternoon a week. My struggle has actually been that when I sit down to work on my tree, time seems to go by in a blink. The challenge will likely be to not get sucked into my research and forget to make dinner!
3. Paint or draw something once a week.
When I was a child, I took painting lessons, and produced several paintings that I still have to this day. They aren't too bad either, if I do say so myself. I recently took a couple of them out of storage and hung them up in my house, and seeing them hanging there on the wall stirred in me that urge to try to develop my artistic ability more. I don't feel a strong ownership of those paintings because I had so much help with them, but I know I'm not untalented in that area, and I could improve with practice. I won't be doing full oil paintings as I did back then (too much of a mess with kids running around), but I would like to at the least practice drawing something weekly. I also have a whole online watercolor course that I would like to complete this year. My goal is going to be to paint or draw once a week, just to make it manageable, but I'm hoping I'll become more comfortable with drawing and painting and end up practicing more than that. But saying once a week takes the pressure off. I can definitely manage once a week.
What are your goals for the New Year?
I don't think I've ever been such a "scrooge" in my life, but I was behind on all things Christmas, and all of our weekends and evenings were booked solid so I had no time to catch up. On top of that I had a new baby and a touch of postpartum depression, and I just wanted life to feel normal for one day (which is pretty much impossible in December, at least around here). The whole thing left me trudging through the holiday festivities with little to no Christmas spirit.
Most years aren't quite that bad, but over the last few years I have realized that Christmas can be downright stressful and un-fun for adults - in particular for moms. At least in our family, almost all Christmas prep falls to me, and if I don't get on top of it the whole holiday feels like a chore to cross off my list instead of the sweet celebration of Christ's birth that it's meant to be.
That's just sad.
So this year, I have been determined to get ahead of the Christmas to-do's well in advance so that when December rolls around I can hopefully just sit back and enjoy it all - and maybe have enough room to breath and reflect on the why of the celebration in the first place, which is the gift of our Savior!
Some things, like baking, obviously have to wait until December, but I have three things I would like to have accomplished before Thanksgiving this year.
1. Buy and wrap all Christmas gifts.
There is a part of me that wants to save some wrapping for the actual Christmas season, but I am reminding myself that there are a lot of other Christmas activities that I never seem to have time for. Things like making a gingerbread house with the kids, making hand-made ornaments to give to grandparents, or sitting down for a bunch of read-aloud Christmas books. Do I really need to save shopping and wrapping for December to get into the Christmas spirit? I think not.
2. Get Christmas cards ready to mail.
I already have our Christmas card picture, and I am just waiting for VistaPrint's 50% Christmas card sale to pull the trigger on printing. The goal is to get the cards ordered and addressed and stamped before Thanksgiving so I can just drop them in the mailbox on Black Friday and (hopefully) wait for the obligatory reciprocal Christmas card mail to roll in. (Hint: PLEASE SEND ME CHRISTMAS CARDS! They really make my day.)
3. Iron out any kinks in our Christmas budget.
One of the major stress factors for me at Christmas time is the fear of going over budget, and I am determined not to let that happen this year. I came up with a preliminary Christmas budget already, and since I have already started shopping I know there are a few little budget kinks to iron out. As I get the rest of my shopping done I want to adjust the budget as necessary, think through our obligations, and set aside the money I will need for extra Christmas expenses. My hope is that at the end of all this planning, December will feel like any other month financially.
A perk of all this early Christmas planning is that it is actually giving me a little early dose of the Christmas merriment that I was so desperately missing last year. It's hard to feel the joy of the season when you are stressed with a load of obligations, and taking some of those away by getting a good head start has made me start to look forward to Christmas earlier than I usually do. When the season gets here I'll have less stress and really be able to enjoy the goodwill and peace of the Christmas season, celebrating Christ's birth!
My only question now is why did I not start planning Christmas in October years ago?
Do you start Christmas early, or are you a procrastinator? What is your Christmas strategy?
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Other posts on preparing for Christmas:
When Christmas Stress You Out
Six Christmas Stressors (And What To Do About Them)
Five Ways To De-Stress During The Christmas Season
How I Found The Christmas Spirit This Year
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Time for With Grit & Grace! Link up with YOUR goals for November below!
Welcome to With Grit & Grace – a monthly goal link-up focused on supporting each other as we work towards our goals! Please join us on the first Wednesday of each month at 7:00 a.m. EST to share your goals and progress for the week, month, or year. We are all about building a positive community; please remember to read, comment, and share the posts of others – and let them know you found them at With Grit & Grace!
Just a reminder…
- All forms of goal posts are welcome. They can be for a specific area in your life, or your general goals for the day, week, month, or year. We love to hear updates on your progress, too.
- Make sure to use the URL specific to your post and not your blog’s home page.
- Link back to With Grit & Grace with our button or link in your post or party page.
- Comment on the post prior to yours in the link-up. Support others through comments and shares – don’t forget to tell them you found them at With Grit & Grace.
- By linking up, you give us permission to feature an image on our blog and social media. Proper credit and links will be given.
- Join in on social media with: #withgritandgrace.
- We want to support you! Please follow your hosts in some way.
-Keri at Living In This Season
-Emily at Morning Motivated Mom
-Christina at Waltzing In Beauty
-Callie (me!) at Through Clouded Glass
I have been struggling a bit in my devotion time this year.
Last year I used a reading plan to read through the Bible in one year - and it was great! I really enjoyed getting the big picture of the whole Bible, especially because I read in order of historical chronology.
But I didn't really want to do that again this year. Mainly because I can't ever seem to manage to get up more than five minutes before my kids, which leads to me rushing through my Bible reading, especially when I have multiple chapters to read. This year I wanted to slow down and really study each chapter that I was reading, just for a change of pace.
The problem with not having a plan is that...well, you don't have a plan.
Do you play with your kids?
We recently had a speaker at our MOPS group that talked about the power of playing with our children (Cara Jakab, an author of "The Power Of A Playing Parent"*). I don't know what I was expecting from her message, maybe just a "play-with-your-kids-all-the-time-so-you'll-have-a-super-close-relationship" theme. That is great in theory, but not really practical. I don't believe it's even healthy to keep your kids so constantly entertained that they are not able to entertain themselves. So I went in not really sure if I was going to get much out of it, other than a nice dose of guilt that I don't play with my kids more often (I'm being honest here).
Last year at this time my husband and I were dead-set on moving.
He had just started a new job a few months before, and was also working on his master's degree. We were thinking that it wold be nice to be a little closer to his work so that he could make it home earlier in the evening, and honestly, I was just ready for a change. We have been in this house since we got married, and it just felt like it wasn't an ideal fit for our family anymore. My wishlist was for a house closer to work, closer to our church, and that had a little more space for our family.
Do any of you use a filter for your goals?
In recent years, I have become a bit too ambitious with my goals. I have all these big plans and before you know it I have set so many goals that I barely have time to breathe, I get overwhelmed, and I end up becoming stress-paralyzed (it really is a thing)!
For me, I have found that it is better to focus on one or two goals at a time, instead of creating a big list of goals that will paralyze me into not even accomplishing the easy things. Because when I get stress-paralyzed, my default is plopping on the couch with whipped-creamed coffee and Netflix and binge-watch the afternoon away while that kids nap and/or play (surely I can’t be the only one?).
If I were to create an expansive list of goals with four young kids at home I would be setting myself up for failure! At this life stage there are a few questions I need to ask before setting goals, to filter out the ones that are stress-paralyzers.
Is this going to add too much pressure to my life?
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Some pressure can be good, but I tend to put too much pressure on myself to meet expectations (real or imagined) of other people, and adding my own expectations to the list doesn’t help matters. If a goal is too big, or if it’s going to add too much stress, I need to at the very least cut it down into manageable chunks.
Is this goal going to take away time from my family?
I am smack-dab in the middle of the formative years with my kids, and I have to fight the urge to make myself too busy. If a project or goal is going to take time away from my kids, I need to carefully consider it before committing. I want to protect that extra time to read a book to my kids or take a spontaneous trip to the park without being stressed out about my to-do list.
Is this goal complicating or simplifying?
My word for 2015 was “simplify”, and this is something that I want to continue to work on in 2016. In this season of my life I am realizing that margin is really important. I want to have that space to not only be there for my family, but just to rest. When I don’t have rest, it is not good for my mental state, and it also damages my relationship with the Lord because my quiet time is typically the first thing I drop (sad, but true). That is not okay, so protecting and working toward that margin is important in my goals.
Because I am trying to be really careful and intentional with my goals this year, I was excited about the opportunity to co-host a goals linkup with some of my blog friends! How does this linkup fit in with the filtering questions I listed above? I think spending a little time reflecting at the start of each month will naturally help me be more careful with my goals, evaluate the pressures from myself and others, and figure out what things need to improve and what things need to take a backseat so that I can leave room for that margin.
So what is my one and only goal for February?
I want to develop an intentional daily routine.
I’m not going to lie, some days it’s all I can do around here to keep this house from descending into utter chaos! Part of that is just life with four kids under five years old (only for another week - my baby is about to turn five!). But part of the chaos is due to the fact that every day looks entirely different. Some days we sleep in, and some days I’m up at 5:00 AM. Some days the kids get a nap, and some days they don’t. Some times we manage a craft project, and some days we watch TV all day (I’m being brutally honest now).
I think our lives will be a lot more orderly and productive if I can develop a routine. Notice I did not say a schedule. If I try to keep a strict schedule, not only will I fail, but I will totally stress myself out (a violation of the first goal filter listed above). By "routine", I mean that I want to have an order of things we will do each day, and stick to it. as much as possible The times may be different, and we may have to rearrange a few things sometimes, but a little structure would be good for all of us. This is what I am thinking our routine will include:
-Getting up to do my devotions before the kids come looking for me in the morning. (If I don’t do devotions in the morning, I’ve found it doesn’t get done - and time with the Lord is too important to be as sporadic as I have let it become.)
-School work and/or craft each day before lunch. (This will be good practice for consistency since Wyatt will start kindergarten at home next fall.)
-Nap/quiet time for the kids in afternoon, during which I will take time to write at least twice a week. (I need to force myself to get a little writing time in so I don’t stress and squeeze out my margin when I have a deadline looming!)
-Start dinner as soon as the kids get up from their naps. (As opposed to five minutes before or after Derek walks through the door.)
I am hoping by the time we do another With Grit and Grace linkup, I will be able to report a typical “day in the life” to you, because there will actually be a typical day!
What kind of “filter questions” do you use for your goals? Do you have a consistent daily routine?
And finally, whip up your own February goal(s) in the next week or two and link them up below, Friends! I’d love to read about what you want to work on!
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Welcome to With Grit & Grace – a monthly goal link-up focused on supporting each other as we work towards our goals! Please join us on the first Wednesday of each month at 7:00 a.m. EST to share your goals and progress for the week, month, or year. We are all about building a positive community; please remember to read, comment, and share the posts of others – and let them know you found them at With Grit & Grace!
Just a reminder…
- All forms of goal posts are welcome. They can be for a specific area in your life, or your general goals for the day, week, month, or year. We love to hear updates on your progress, too.
- Make sure to use the URL specific to your post and not your blog’s home page.
- Link back to With Grit & Grace with our button or link in your post or party page.
- Comment on the post prior to yours in the link-up. Support others through comments and shares – don’t forget to tell them you found them at With Grit & Grace.
- By linking up, you give us permission to feature an image on our blog and social media. Proper credit and links will be given.
- Join in on social media with: #withgritandgrace.
- We want to support you! Please follow your hosts in some way.
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