Three Goal-Filtering Questions (With Grit & Grace Linkup)

Do any of you use a filter for your goals?  

In recent years, I have become a bit too ambitious with my goals.  I have all these big plans and before you know it I have set so many goals that I barely have time to breathe, I get overwhelmed, and I end up becoming stress-paralyzed (it really is a thing)!  

For me, I have found that it is better to focus on one or two goals at a time, instead of creating a big list of goals that will paralyze me into not even accomplishing the easy things.  Because when I get stress-paralyzed, my default is plopping on the couch with whipped-creamed coffee and Netflix and binge-watch the afternoon away while that kids nap and/or play (surely I can’t be the only one?).

If I were to create an expansive list of goals with four young kids at home I would be setting myself up for failure!  At this life stage there are a few questions I need to ask before setting goals, to filter out the ones that are stress-paralyzers.

Is this going to add too much pressure to my life?  
Some pressure can be good, but I tend to put too much pressure on myself to meet expectations (real or imagined) of other people, and adding my own expectations to the list doesn’t help matters.  If a goal is too big, or if it’s going to add too much stress, I need to at the very least cut it down into manageable chunks. 

Is this goal going to take away time from my family?  

I am smack-dab in the middle of the formative years with my kids, and I have to fight the urge to make myself too busy.  If a project or goal is going to take time away from my kids, I need to carefully consider it before committing.  I want to protect that extra time to read a book to my kids or take a spontaneous trip to the park without being stressed out about my to-do list.

Is this goal complicating or simplifying?  

My word for 2015 was “simplify”, and this is something that I want to continue to work on in 2016.  In this season of my life I am realizing that margin is really important.  I want to have that space to not only be there for my family, but just to rest.  When I don’t have rest, it is not good for my mental state, and it also damages my relationship with the Lord because my quiet time is typically the first thing I drop (sad, but true).  That is not okay, so protecting and working toward that margin is important in my goals.

Because I am trying to be really careful and intentional with my goals this year, I was excited about the opportunity to co-host a goals linkup with some of my blog friends!  How does this linkup fit in with the filtering questions I listed above?  I think spending a little time reflecting at the start of each month will naturally help me be more careful with my goals, evaluate the pressures from myself and others, and figure out what things need to improve and what things need to take a backseat so that I can leave room for that margin.

So what is my one and only goal for February?

I want to develop an intentional daily routine.

I’m not going to lie, some days it’s all I can do around here to keep this house from descending into utter chaos!  Part of that is just life with four kids under five years old (only for another week - my baby is about to turn five!).  But part of the chaos is due to the fact that every day looks entirely different.  Some days we sleep in, and some days I’m up at 5:00 AM.  Some days the kids get a nap, and some days they don’t.  Some times we manage a craft project, and some days we watch TV all day (I’m being brutally honest now).  

I think our lives will be a lot more orderly and productive if I can develop a routine.  Notice I did not say a schedule.  If I try to keep a strict schedule, not only will I fail, but I will totally stress myself out (a violation of the first goal filter listed above).  By "routine", I mean that I want to have an order of things we will do each day, and stick to it. as much as possible  The times may be different, and we may have to rearrange a few things sometimes, but a little structure would be good for all of us.  This is what I am thinking our routine will include:

-Getting up to do my devotions before the kids come looking for me in the morning.  (If I don’t do devotions in the morning, I’ve found it doesn’t get done - and time with the Lord is too important to be as sporadic as I have let it become.)

-School work and/or craft each day before lunch.  (This will be good practice for consistency since Wyatt will start kindergarten at home next fall.)

-Nap/quiet time for the kids in afternoon, during which I will take time to write at least twice a week. (I need to force myself to get a little writing time in so I don’t stress and squeeze out my margin when I have a deadline looming!)

-Start dinner as soon as the kids get up from their naps. (As opposed to five minutes before or after Derek walks through the door.)

I am hoping by the time we do another With Grit and Grace linkup, I will be able to report a typical “day in the life” to you, because there will actually be a typical day!

What kind of “filter questions” do you use for your goals?  Do you have a consistent daily routine?

And finally, whip up your own February goal(s) in the next week or two and link them up below, Friends!  I’d love to read about what you want to work on! 


Welcome to With Grit & Grace  – a monthly goal link-up focused on supporting each other as we work towards our goals! Please join us on the first Wednesday of each month at 7:00 a.m. EST to share your goals and progress for the week, month, or year. We are all about building a positive community; please remember to read, comment, and share the posts of others – and let them know you found them at With Grit & Grace!
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Emily said...

Awesome insights, Callie!! I love this post. What a great idea to set aside one goal. I'm excited to see how this progresses throughout the month. Looking forward to your update next month!

Caitlin Elisabeth said...

great goals :D

Hannah M said...

I absolutely love that your goal is to develop a daily intentional routine. A good routine always helps me stay sane and gives me an idea of things I can look forward to. I think the kids like to have a routine to their days too. Keeping a schedule would be too stressful for me too, but a routine is something I must have. I try to wake up an hour before I think the boys will [but they wake up at different times each day so that's a little tricky. ... Or Oliver will wake up at 5 and I'll get him and then at 5:38 he'll be back in bed. Then the question becomes, "just stay up or go back to bed for a little bit?" I usually opt for bed, but I need to just stay up. My quiet time rarely happens unless I do it in the morning. Plus, when I do it in the morning, my days are much smoother] to read and get ready. The reading/quite time doesn't always happen, but the getting ready does. The rest of our day looks pretty similar to how you are hoping for your routine to look. Although, we don't get a craft/activity in every day. I should work on that ;) I hope you're able to figure out a routine that works for you and your kiddos!

Callie Nicole said...

I have the exact same struggle at 5-6 in the morning - get up after feeding Clarice, or go back to sleep? I usually choose sleep, but I would get so much more done if I just got myself up!

Callie Nicole said...

Thank you Caitlin!

Callie Nicole said...

Thank Emily, I am hoping it will help me stay more productive and organized!

Keri Snyder said...

These are such good questions to ask!

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