4 hours ago
Today I have a guest post from Melanie from Country Roads! Melanie has been such a sweet blog friend over the couple years that I've known her, and I love reading her thoughts about her faith, family, crafts, and everything else she writes about. I'm happy to have her as a guest for me today as she tells us about some of the things she has learned since becoming a mom! And be sure to swing by her blog and say hello!
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Hello! I'm Melanie from Country Roads and I'll be guest posting for Callie today! I thought I'd tell you my adventures in 'mommyhood' and what I've learned since becoming a first time mom a little over 16 months ago!
Has it really been that long?
Time really does fly. I mean really. I remember in the first two weeks after bringing my baby girl Makayla home from the hospital after a scheduled c-section thinking how she'd be this little for a while. Next thing I know..she's awake more..grows out of her newborn diapers (and sizes 1, 2, and 3 in what seemed like a flash!)..grows out of her 'baby' clothes...is sleeping in a crib verses her bassinet..learns to sit..stand..crawl..feed herself...walk...and so on. It all happens so incredibly fast.
One thing I've learned is to enjoy each phase.
They go from being a newborn to a baby to a toddler really quick. Its not a bad thing, per say. Its rather something to rejoice about. Watching your child grow and learn how to do things on their own is so rewarding. I remember wanting her so badly to learn how to put her pacifier in her mouth without us having to do it everytime she'd lose it..especially when she was in her carseat. I'd think to myself, "I just wish she'd learn to hang on to that thing!"..of course now that is a total non-issue! They grow out of each phase before you know it..so learn to love where your at with your little ones (and take alot of pictures!)!
Has it really been that long?
Time really does fly. I mean really. I remember in the first two weeks after bringing my baby girl Makayla home from the hospital after a scheduled c-section thinking how she'd be this little for a while. Next thing I know..she's awake more..grows out of her newborn diapers (and sizes 1, 2, and 3 in what seemed like a flash!)..grows out of her 'baby' clothes...is sleeping in a crib verses her bassinet..learns to sit..stand..crawl..feed herself...walk...and so on. It all happens so incredibly fast.
One thing I've learned is to enjoy each phase.
They go from being a newborn to a baby to a toddler really quick. Its not a bad thing, per say. Its rather something to rejoice about. Watching your child grow and learn how to do things on their own is so rewarding. I remember wanting her so badly to learn how to put her pacifier in her mouth without us having to do it everytime she'd lose it..especially when she was in her carseat. I'd think to myself, "I just wish she'd learn to hang on to that thing!"..of course now that is a total non-issue! They grow out of each phase before you know it..so learn to love where your at with your little ones (and take alot of pictures!)!
Something else I have learned is I now have a deeper respect for parents.
Being a parent isn't easy. It can be challenging at times for different reasons. Whether its being up all night with a fussy baby and so tired you can't see straight or trying to disipline a toddler who is testing your sanity..parents go through alot. Of course, it has it rewards (hello sweet baby kisses and tight hugs!)..but I respect parents now more than ever because I am one. I see what challenges each one faces and the fears they have with supporting a family.
Its also important to listen to your inner heart.
When you become a mom for the first time especially..you'll have everyone from all around trying to tell you how to raise your child..whats best for them..what to do (and especially NOT to do!)..and basically give you input whether you've asked for their advice or not. It can get FRUSTRATING!! I've been there..done that and I've found it also tests just how humble of a person you are! God gave us all a 'mothering instinct', I believe, and it does kick in. If you are anything like me..I never grew up around many babies and when I was about to become a mom I had alot of doubts if I'd know what to do in certain situations. But you know..that inner instinct in my heart kicked in. So don't worry about what everyone else tells you!
Getting used to having a messy (or messier!) house was something new for me to get used to as well.
I was always the type to keep my house looking good. Very little clutter, dusted and vacuumed daily, everything in its place. With a toddler who gets into everything (and if your little one isn't at that stage yet..don't worry..they will be soon enough!) and makes messes faster than you can clean it up...I've learned its ok to let the house get a little messy. They are only children once and a little clutter and dust never hurt anyone! I'd rather have good memories 20 years down the line of playing with my little girl..making a mess in the kitchen baking and getting flour everywhere..than remembering how clean my house was.
Make a memory daily might be hard to do..but time has a way of getting away from us.
Whether its taking a walk, playing house, fingerpainting, crafting, reading, or visiting relatives..make memories daily with your kids. Time goes by so quickly to not take advantage of each day God has given us. Again..I'd rather look back in 20 years and remember all the fun stuff I did with my daughter than wishing we'd done more together.
And last but not least..making time for yourself is probably one of the most important things I've learned since becoming a mother.
Caring for a child whether its a newborn or a toddler is hard work. They require alot of time and patience and at the end of the day its easy to just plop into bed without a second thought. But its important to spend time taking care of yourself also. Spend time in devotion, read a good book (I highly recommend the Chicken Soup for the Souls books!), watch a movie, BLOG!, go out with friends, or spend the evening painting your toenails! Anything where the focus is on you is the key. If you don't take care of you first, you won't be able to be the best mother you can be.
I hope you've enjoyed reading my experiences and things I have learned since earning the title of "Mommy"! Its something that I wouldn't trade for the world and something I never knew I'd love so much. Yes, my world has been turned upside down.
But I love it. :-D
Today's post is on a topic that I think is so important for those of us with kiddos - making sure not to neglect the relationship with our husbands! After you have a baby (or two or three), I think it's so easy to let the kids and their needs become the center of everything, and I'm a strong believer that the husband/wife relationship should be a top priority - without that, everything falls apart.
So when my blog friend, Julie, suggested writing on this topic for a guest post, I was so excited! Julie and I have been blogging buddies for a long time, and I enjoy reading everything she has to say on her blog, Back To The Basics - be sure to stop by and say hello to her after you read her tips below!
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Hi! My name is Julie and you can find me over at my blog Back to the Basics, where I blog about my life as a wife and stay at home mom to Brayden (3) and Kenley (1). I am honored to guest post for Callie today!
2 kids under the age of 3 is a LOT- let me tell you, but it is NOT impossible by any means! My stance is that you will have difficulties no matter HOW far apart your kids are- you are still caring for human beings! Right? But as you are taking care of your children, there is also another person you may be putting on the bottom of your priority list-- your spouse.
Date nights around here are few and far between. It's tough to get the kids' schedules and our schedules to work at the same time PLUS a babysitter. But honestly, we COULD do better. We all could, right? Here are some ways I have found to better stay in tune with my spouse, even when a date night isn't on the schedule...
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Note: I'm off on vacation through Monday, so I've lined up some guest posts while I"m gone - thank you to Kate, Paula, Julie, and Melanie for giving me a much-needed break!
So when my blog friend, Julie, suggested writing on this topic for a guest post, I was so excited! Julie and I have been blogging buddies for a long time, and I enjoy reading everything she has to say on her blog, Back To The Basics - be sure to stop by and say hello to her after you read her tips below!
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Hi! My name is Julie and you can find me over at my blog Back to the Basics, where I blog about my life as a wife and stay at home mom to Brayden (3) and Kenley (1). I am honored to guest post for Callie today!
2 kids under the age of 3 is a LOT- let me tell you, but it is NOT impossible by any means! My stance is that you will have difficulties no matter HOW far apart your kids are- you are still caring for human beings! Right? But as you are taking care of your children, there is also another person you may be putting on the bottom of your priority list-- your spouse.
Date nights around here are few and far between. It's tough to get the kids' schedules and our schedules to work at the same time PLUS a babysitter. But honestly, we COULD do better. We all could, right? Here are some ways I have found to better stay in tune with my spouse, even when a date night isn't on the schedule...
- Spend time talking at the beginning or end of the day. Brandon usually leaves by 6am, so if we want to chit chat about our day, evenings after the kids go to bed is our best bet. Talking in bed before falling asleep helps us stay on the same page, talk about our plans for the next day, and some of our BEST conversations about life are usually at this time!
- Make the best of plans gone awry. One rainy day several weeks ago, I had lined up a sitter for the kids but my other plans fell through. I called Brandon to see if he wanted to go do some house shopping/returns at Menards, and we ended up on a small, spur of the moment date day! We went out for lunch, picked out new kitchen flooring, had Starbucks, and were home by dinner to get the kids. Sometimes, it's worth just trying to do SOMETHING on a whim.
- Take an interest in their interests. My hubby is a farmer, something I have known since the moment I laid eyes on him, but don't let that fool you- I am no expert. There is a LOT to it, more than I ever dreamed! But--it is SO important that I take his interests seriously. It helps us stay on the same page with our goals and dreams, lets him get excited about things he wants to take on, and most importantly, it brings us closer. Same with my photography interests-- there isn't a LOT that Brandon understands, but just the fact that he is willing to try? Makes a huge difference.
No one is perfect, and these transitions and changes are hard-- but I hope these tips will help soften the blow of them! Thanks for reading!
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Note: I'm off on vacation through Monday, so I've lined up some guest posts while I"m gone - thank you to Kate, Paula, Julie, and Melanie for giving me a much-needed break!
I'm excited to share today's guest post, because it's on a topic that is really important for me right now - making that transition from a family of three to a family of four! I found Paula's blog, Hopeful Future, through a link-up, and I'm so glad I did - she has so many good things to say on her blog, and I was so happy when she said she's like to write a guest post for me on this topic! I think she has some really great tips to share, so read on and be sure to stop by her blog and say hello!
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Hi! I'm Paula a bloggy friend of Callie's! My family just made the transition from "family of 3" to "family of 4" so I'm here today to share a few tips and tricks we have learned along the way. My son "Little Man" was around 21 months old when his baby sister was born. We did as much as we could to prepare him for the big change before she got here (click here to read Paula's post about preparing her son for Baby #2), and I'm really glad we did, but it was still a big transition for the little guy so I wanted to share a few ideas that might help any one else about to make the "big transition".
1. Expect your toddler to regress back into some old habits that you thought were long gone - This is normal and natural. We had gotten past tantrums for the most part before the baby came, but after she was here a week or two he was right back at it again throwing fits! I had heard from many other mamas that this is to be expected so I was ready for it, which it much less stressful when it happened!
2. Stay consistent - As he's regressing or acting out remember that everything in the toddler's world has just changed, that can be scary for him and he will test boundaries both for attention and to see if the boundaries are still there. Stay calm and stay consistent. I tried my best to handle each outburst the exact same way I would have handled it in the past. This helped him realize that some things (like rules) are staying the same. It is MUCH harder to be consistent while tending to the needs of a newborn, but toughing it out, especially the first week, will help in the long run. There were times that I would stand next to him in time out (so he wouldn't run away) while nursing the newborn. Other times I would have to put her down in the middle of a feeding in order to address something with my son. It was tedious and felt never ending, but if you are consistent, that time period passes fairly quickly. The first week or two he would try something every time I sat down to nurse. But eventually he realized that even though my hands were full, he would still have consequences for his actions. Lesson learned, and now he only 'tries it' sometimes ;)
3.One on One time - This seems like a no-brainer but it is hard to remember to do it! I try every day to spend some time with JUST my toddler. I will put the baby in her swing in another room and focus entirely on my son. Even just 10 or 15 minutes like this do wonders for his behavior. Most of the time when he is really acting out, I realize that it's because haven't given him and 1 on 1 time yet that day and he is craving attention! I try to fix that as soon as I can (without him thinking that he gets 1 on 1 time if he's naughty!)
Something I have been doing lately that works really well for us is preparing the baby for the day before I get my son up. that way his first few moments awake and out of his room are 1 on 1 mama/son time just like it used to be. Even if we just play for 10 minutes together at the start of the day it seems to start out day out a bit happier. Even if he had to wait in his room for a bit while I got his sister nursed and diaper changed etc.
4. Try to involve the toddler in what you are doing - My son loves "helping" with his sister. bringing her pacifier or stuffed animal when she's crying etc.
Oftentimes when I'm nursing the baby I ask him to bring me a book and we will read a story together on the couch so he's not excluded. He ends up declining half the time, but he knows I'm not pushing him away ;)
5. Don't get mad when the toddler's "help" is not helpful - I can't tell you how many times my son has decided to "help" by attempting to shove a pacifier in the peacefully sleeping baby's mouth, decided to "share" something heavy with her by putting it on her little lap etc. etc. sigh. Very hard not to respond angrily, but I don't want my son to be afraid to interact with his sister, so I try hard to just steer the help in another direction, being sure to thank him for his attempted help even as I'm telling him not to do it again! I know his heart is in the right place, though it is hard to keep that in mind sometimes. Example: He likes trying to brush her hair, but that's not a great activity for him so instead of just telling him to stop touching her head I do that and then suggest that he tickle her feet, and show him how fun that can be. It makes interacting with baby safe and fun! instead of something he can get in trouble for. (he does get in trouble when he is intentionally hitting her etc. but not when he's trying to help and just doesn't know how to properly)
6. Let your toddler still be a baby - My son still loves it when I call him my baby. Every time he gets out of the tub he asks to be swaddled in a towel and rocked like a baby. Every. Single. Time. I don't take that from him because he will always be my baby, and I don't want him to think that the new baby has replaced him in any way. He may not put be able to put it into words, but when he holds his arms up to me and asks to be the "baby" I feel that's his little heart asking if I still love him just as much as I used to, he wants to be sure that my love hasn't changed. I call him "big boy" and my "little man" too, he's growing up fast but I didn't force him to be called a big boy 24/7 just because there is a new baby around.
7. Be ready for melt downs - It amazes me how often they have synchronized melt downs. In fact, if you come by my house at 5pm most days you will be able to witness it! My only advice would be to make sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared for this (it can be a tad draining)! Remember that kiddos fussing doesn't mean you are a bad mama! We have all been there (or we will be at some point). try to remain as calm as you can and deal with whoever's need is more urgent, or most easily fixed. Example: baby girl is screaming because she's hungry, and Little Man wants me to cut up an apple for him. I will usually get the apple first because then he will be calm while I feed his sister (The longer task)... sometimes there are no easy fixes and that's one of those nights when you count the minutes til daddy comes home to help! Don't worry not every day is like that! (sidenote: I always try to text my hubby and warn him if we're having one of those days, so he comes in prepared to help out!)
8. Invest in a sling or carrier for the baby - I'm using my ERGO baby carrier way more this time around! I use it at the park so I can chase after my son if need be. I use it when we go grocery shopping because I can't fit both of them in the cart until she is sitting up I use it on walks when I don't want to get the huge double stroller out etc. I didn't think a carrier would be as essential to my life as my ERGO has become. I wore it maybe a dozen times with my son, never really liked it. Now, I wear it multiple times a week. If you don't have one, register for one asap! ;)
Growing to a family of four has, overall, been easier than I was expecting! The main difference is that I am more confident as a mother. I'm not paranoid and stressed all the time, and that has made a HUGE difference. The second thing that makes it easier is that my husband and I have been through it together once already, we know the stresses a new baby put on marriage, and we know how to communicate our needs to each other, and to be patient with one another as we go through the exhausting newborn stage again. We also know how intentional we have to be about spending husband and wife time together talking or playing board games etc. AND giving each other a couple kid-free hours every week. These changes have made all the difference in the world!
It is hard, and stressful, but it is wonderful and amazing too! :) I love having two kids, "easy" is no longer a word in my vocabulary, because EVERYTHING takes more time, effort and planning now, but it's so worth it.
I know there is no one size fits all for every family, so these are just a few tips and ideas that helped our transition from 1 baby to 2 go as smooth as possible. I hope some of them help you too!
<3 paula
Kate was one of my first blog friends when I started blogging back in the day , and I was so happy when she agreed to guest post for me while I'm on vacation! I always enjoy reading her blog, Beautiful and Broken, and it's been fun to foliow each other as our families have both grown! Today she has a great post for me on tips that have helped her as her husband has been deployed, and there is a lot of wisdom here not only for military families but for everyone! Read on and be sure to stop by Kate's blog to say hello too!
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Hi Readers! My name is Kate, my husband is Josh and we have a 10 month old, Kylie.
Josh has been in the Air Force for almost 4 years and he just left for a few months to train into a new career field. People always want to know "how do you survive?" When I sat down and thought about it, I realized that the secret to surviving separation is the same secret to life in general - trust God and live according to His will. So here are my tips on surviving military life - but they are Biblical principles that can apply to anyone's life!
- See your life as a calling and take pride in it (the good kind of pride). This is a little easier for me because Josh enlisted after we got married, so we made the decision together. What started as his desire to have a meaningful career became a conviction for both of us. Who better to serve in the military than a couple whose marriage is held together by the Holy Spirit? Of course, it's easy for us to be proud of serving our country. But wherever God has put you, find a way to take pride in it and enjoy it, and I promise the difficulties will be so much easier to handle. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:15,17 (NIV)
- Count your blessings. I have a friend whose husband joined the Army when Josh joined the Air Force (less than 4 years ago). He has had two different year-long deployments and they've moved twice. They have a three year old. In WWII men left and didn't come back until the war was over. Women just a little older than I didn't have internet and had to use snail mail to contact their husbands. Josh's mom was just telling me that she got two 5 minute phone calls when his dad was deployed. I emailed and texted Josh 5 times the first day he was gone with little things I wanted to tell him. When I get scared that Kylie is going to forget him, I remember to be thankful that she can see his face on the computer every day. (by the way, when we Skyped for the first time she was fascinated. She was much more interested in him than Grammy and Papa - sorry, Mom)
- Watch your pride (the bad kind of pride). Instead of taking pride in what you do, it's easy to slip into being overly proud of yourself for doing it. And it's a small jump from "look at how independent and flexible I am" to "this isn't fair and I deserve better than this." I have had a number of Facebook friends write posts when their husbands are out of town that say "I could never handle being a single mom or military wife." And I always laugh a little because of course they could. They are no different from me. Being a military wife is a perfect example of "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13 (NIV) You don't think about if you can do it, you just know that you need to and trust that God will get you through.
- Love your husband. I know, OBVIOUS. But a time of separation can actually be a good thing for your marriage! When Josh went to basic training and tech school the first time, I felt like I fell in love with him all over again. Use this time to forget that he leaves dishes in the living room or tracks dirt into the kitchen and remember all the reasons you love him. He has the harder end of the deal because you get to stay home with your family and friends. So focus on encouraging him instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Call your mom or best friend if you need to vent about your day so you can be sweet when he calls, instead of making him feel bad for leaving you all alone.
And overall, try to thrive instead of just survive! Grow your marriage and grow yourself.
Thanks for having me, Callie!
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