{Guest Post} - Surviving Separation

Kate was one of my first blog friends when I started blogging back in the day , and I was so happy when she agreed to guest post for me while I'm on vacation!  I always enjoy reading her blog, Beautiful and Broken, and it's been fun to foliow each other as our families have both grown! Today she has a great post for me on tips that have helped her as her husband has been deployed, and there is a lot of wisdom here not only for military families but for everyone!  Read on and be sure to stop by Kate's blog to say hello too!

 

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Hi Readers! My name is Kate, my husband is Josh and we have a 10 month old, Kylie. 

 

 

 

Josh has been in the Air Force for almost 4 years and he just left for a few months to train into a new career field. People always want to know "how do you survive?" When I sat down and thought about it, I realized that the secret to surviving separation is the same secret to life in general - trust God and live according to His will. So here are my tips on surviving military life - but they are Biblical principles that can apply to anyone's life!

 

1. See your life as a calling and take pride in it (the good kind of pride). This is a little easier for me because Josh enlisted after we got married, so we made the decision together. What started as his desire to have a meaningful career became a conviction for both of us. Who better to serve in the military than a couple whose marriage is held together by the Holy Spirit? Of course, it's easy for us to be proud of serving our country. But wherever God has put you, find a way to take pride in it and enjoy it, and I promise the difficulties will be so much easier to handle. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:15,17 (NIV) 

 

1. Count your blessings. I have a friend whose husband joined the Army when Josh joined the Air Force (less than 4 years ago). He has had two different year-long deployments and they've moved twice. They have a three year old. In WWII men left and didn't come back until the war was over. Women just a little older than I didn't have internet and had to use snail mail to contact their husbands. Josh's mom was just telling me that she got two 5 minute phone calls when his dad was deployed. I emailed and texted Josh 5 times the first day he was gone with little things I wanted to tell him. When I get scared that Kylie is going to forget him, I remember to be thankful that she can see his face on the computer every day. (by the way, when we Skyped for the first time she was fascinated. She was much more interested in him than Grammy and Papa - sorry, Mom)

 

 

 

1. Watch your pride (the bad kind of pride). Instead of taking pride in what you do, it's easy to slip into being overly proud of yourself for doing it. And it's a small jump from "look at how independent and flexible I am" to "this isn't fair and I deserve better than this."  I have had a number of Facebook friends write posts when their husbands are out of town that say "I could never handle being a single mom or military wife." And I always laugh a little because of course they could. They are no different from me. Being a military wife is a perfect example of "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13 (NIV)  You don't think about if you can do it, you just know that you need to and trust that God will get you through.

 

1. Love your husband. I know, OBVIOUS. But a time of separation can actually be a good thing for your marriage! When Josh went to basic training and tech school the first time, I felt like I fell in love with him all over again. Use this time to forget that he leaves dishes in the living room or tracks dirt into the kitchen and remember all the reasons you love him. He has the harder end of the deal because you get to stay home with your family and friends. So focus on encouraging him instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Call your mom or best friend if you need to vent about your day so you can be sweet when he calls, instead of making him feel bad for leaving you all alone.

 

And overall, try to thrive instead of just survive! Grow your marriage and grow yourself. 

 

Thanks for having me, Callie!

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Note: I'm off on vacation through Monday, so I've lined up some guest posts while I"m gone - thank you to Kate, Paula, Julie, and Melanie for giving me a much-needed break!