A Year Off Instagram And A Month On - What I Learned

 

My year without an Instagram was 2021. In many ways it was the best year I have had in a while, without Instagram to distract me from my real life. We made memories, without the pressure of taking photos for social media. I learned new skills, because I had extra time. I didn’t stress about everything going on in the world, because it wasn’t constantly being pushed in my face from ten different angles. Derek even mentioned that I have seemed less anxious without Instagram.

Still, toward the end of last year I felt a pull to get back on Instagram for a minute, to see if I could find a better balance if I gave it one more try. So for the month of January (and very slightly in February) I’ve been using Instagram from my desktop, with an occasional foray into the iPad version of the app when I wanted to post a video or sporadic story. I started out thinking I would only post content that I had already published on my blog. I thought Instagram might be a nice way to reflect my blog in another space, and to interact with online friends who only have Instagram. These were done of my reasons for my little Instagram experiment.

It's been an extremely interesting experience being off Instagram for a solid year, and then getting back on.  In so many ways I came back to the platform with fresh eyes.  The first thing I thought is "Why am I following all these people?" and I cut my following list way down.  I posted again for the first time in January with a great amount of suspicion and anxiety, and I think I realized a few things about Instagram that only this experience - being off for so long, and then briefly getting back on - could give me.

1. Instagram is built to keep you in the app as much as possible, mainly so they can collect data on you.  Yes that personal data is not studied individually but is aggregated into a huge data sets, but they are still manipulating you with that information, and it's still creepy (read The Tyranny Of Big Tech by Josh Hawley for more on this). I knew all that before, but I noticed again how good they are at sucking you into the app for as much time as possible.  I was surprised at how quickly the temptation to be on there way too much came back - and that without even having the app on my phone.  

Unfortunately, my good intentions to limit my use are still no match for the addictive tricks the app plays on my brain. I think over the course of my year off Instagram, I got really used to NOT feeling the urge to check Instagram for feedback on my posts.  It feels so good to NOT WANT to check Instagram, to not even have to think about it, but you don’t appreciate the absence of a bad habit until the temptation comes for you again.  I was really surprised by how quickly that urge to check came back.  

2. A lot of us end up changing our content (or even real-life choices and habits) in some way to optimize for Instagram.  It was weird to feel anxious when I hit that "post" button, wondering if my post would even get shown to anyone because of that infuriating algorithm. Then I was alarmed to find myself strategizing how to help the next post do better, or share more of what was doing well.  When did I agree to curate myself like that, to adjust the offering of my content to appease the Instagram "gods"?  When I posted something on Instagram,  especially at first, I ended up checking it every hour, just wondering if anybody commented or liked it. Then I started thinking about the next thing I should post, and it became this low hum of anxiety in the back of my mind, this pressure I put on myself to come up with something good for Instagram.  And I found myself thinking often over the past couple months, do I really want this? Is this beneficial to my life? Am I doing any actual good on this platform?  Is this platform doing any good for me?

3. Instagram content is all so…disposable. I was surprised to notice for the first time how quickly whatever I just shared became irrelevant - within 24 hours, it was done and past, gone, worthless.  In many ways, Instagram makes our thoughts themselves seem disposable. Throw your thoughts out there, only to be buried beneath a bunch of other stuff, before we move on to planning the next post.

4. When it comes down to it, Instagram is just a bunch of people trying to be noticed. I shouldn't have been surprised to find myself in the same old rat race, once again becoming a part of the online crowds shouting, "Look at me!  Give your attention to me!  Make me feel important by clicking the like button!"   I don't think everyone consciously seeks virtual affirmation on Instagram, but when it comes down to it, practically, that's what we are all kind of doing, isn't it?  Getting back on and browsing around, I was secondhand embarrassed for some users that were clearly craving that digital affirmation, and then I realized with horror that I was basically doing the same thing!  I hate feeling like the worth of my thoughts are tied up in how many people liked them, and I was embarrassed at myself when I found myself participating in all of it.  

5. It's very difficult to keep my eyes on Christ when I'm on Instagram. I noticed some things happening in my heart that I didn't like almost immediately after dipping my toes back into Instagram.  This week I finally finished a book from my longstanding TBR, 10 Arguments To Delete Your Social Media Accounts Right Now, and the last chapter happened to be comparing Big Tech to a religion.  This book was written by someone I don't agree with on political or religious matters, a liberal I have nothing in common with except this interest in the insidiousness of Big Tech, but even this man can recognize there is an odd spiritual element to social media/Big Tech.

We like to think social media is spiritually neutral, but the thing is, I'm not so sure it is.  Something that takes so much of our time and attention and information and effort is going to inevitably affect us spiritually in some way.  It's probably not the same for all of us - for all I know some people may be impacted positively by their social media use - but for a whole bunch of us, I think we recognize there are negative aspects.  It takes alot of wisdom and honesty to weigh those things rightly for yourself, to see things clearly, and to make the tough decisions where necessary.

While struggling with all this I came across this verse in Colossians:

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-4

It struck me to the heart because I know, deep down, that Instagram does not help me focus on heavenly things. It makes me focus on all the most shallow aspects of earthly things. Things such as likes, and follower counts, and how my hair looks in that video I just posted. Vain and meaningless as the wind.

If I am getting into a more worldly mindset just by using the platform, is the rare occasion where I may actually, maybe, point someone to Jesus worth my own spiritual health taking a hit?  I don't know the answer to that.  I wish that I could just resist the way Instagram puts my focus on myself, and keep my mind only on Christ, to post with a pure heart for His glory and not mine. But it’s too easy to make everything about myself, and I feel the failure acutely when I realize that's what I've done.

6. Finally, I realized I really don’t need Instagram.  With all this swirling in my mind, I haven't posted anything on Instagram for most of the month of February (or my blog either for that matter - I needed a mental break), but when I scheduled last week's blog post to be shared on Instagram, from my desktop, I felt mostly indifferent about checking how it did.  I don't view this so much as progress in my "relationship" to Instagram as evidence that I don't need Instagram.

When I'm active on Instagram, I hate the way it makes me feel.

If I can get myself to the point where I don't care about it so much (a healthier state for me), then what's the point in putting my effort there at all?

I guess I'm saying that I'm giving up Instagram again?  I may keep my account to check in with my blog friends who I have no other way to keep in touch with, but I don't know how much I'll be posting there.  I may share sporadic verses or quotes that stand out to me, or perhaps an occasional thought that I specifically feel led to share on Instagram, but I think that will be rather rare.  There aren't many things that would be better suited to Instagram than for my blog.  I will continue, as I have for the last 13 years, to share on the blog instead, and all personal updates will be here, not on Instagram.  

As a sidenote, I wish I could nudge (ie. wrestle into acquiescence) all those friends who are only on Instagram to come back into the friendly waters of the good ol' blog world.  Whatever is shared on Instagram can be shared on a blog.  Blog feed readers, like Feedly (my favorite), still make it easy to see new posts without checking each individual blog.  The blog world is still active, much less noisy and time-consuming than Instagram, with the same potential for online connection.  Come on in, friends, the water's fine. Blogging may take a little more work than Instagram, but it's slower, it's calmer, and in my opinion healthier than the firehose that Instagram has become. 

So there's my little state-of-the-social-media statement, and I'll be here on this blog, as always, my little haven on the internet.