You probably read that title and immediately thought about Confessions Of A Shopaholic, didn't you? When I think of that movie, I think of that scene where Rebecca Bloomwood is sitting among a pile of shopping bags after a spree of uncontrolled, compulsive spending. I think of the scene where she tries to buy the scarf with maxed-out credit cards, and runs over to a hot dog stand to get enough cash to finish her transaction. I think of her selling everything she owns to pay off her ridiculous credit card debt.
But there are other ways that purchasing new things can take on an undue importance in a person's life. Perhaps it won't involve mountains of shopping bags and credit card debt, but subtler ways that it disrupts someone's priorities. Small ways it can lead to disordered loves.
Now, I had been thinking about doing a no-buy project for a long time, but not very seriously. I recognized a long time ago that I sometimes use shopping as a self-soothing habit...if I'm having a particularly difficult month, it's more likely I'll end up buying something I wasn't really planning. After my fifth baby was born, I really wanted to do a no-buy project, but I knew realistically it was a silly time to attempt something like that. My body had changed alot, and sometime while I was pregnant the styles drastically changed as well. I needed clothes that fit me, and I knew I was going to truly need to make some purchases to update some things in my wardrobe. So I didn't do it then.
But when I watched that video last month, everything she said really resonated with me. And I thought, Why not try a no-buy project now? I wanted to share a few reasons that I decided to finally jump in.
1. I would like to spend less money.
Lest you get the wrong idea, no, I don't have any credit card debt. I don't buy things if we don't have the money to pay for it. Shopping is not some sort of compulsive addiction for me in that way. I'm judicious in the prices I'm willing to pay for something, I have alot of frugal habits, I get alot of good deals. I don't overdo it financially.
However, I know if I reined in those few areas where I am personally tempted to purchase too much (clothes, books, housewares), I could save us a good amount of money, and use that money for other things that mean more. I'm excited to see how this experiment will alter my budget.
2. I would like to be more intentional with my spending habits.
This is how my shopping usually goes: I go through pretty decent chunks of time where I don't buy much at all. Maybe I'm more aware of my budget or have a savings goal, maybe I have just cleaned out my closet and remember that I have too many clothes already, maybe I just feel generally satisfied with what I have for a while.
But then inevitably, after a few months, I'll get a bit of a shopping bug, and I'll spend a chunk of money all at once. Usually this bug hits me at the beginning of a new season, when I want to update my house or wardrobe for the changing weather. It's almost become a habit for me to expect to buy a few things before a season change.
I don't like that I have this habit formed to the point where I start to feel dissatisfied with what I own, like clockwork, as a new season arrives, and I start to think I need to "update" things. This is not intentional decision, it's subconscious, and I don't like having something subconscious controlling my spending habits that way.
I want to become very thoughtful and intentional about buying things that will truly add to my wardrobe and home, instead of buying because of some subconscious urge to "freshen things up". This is part of the internal awareness I need to develop surrounding shopping. I think doing a no-buy year will help me learn about when and why I feel that urge to get something new, so I can be more intentional in the future.
3. I want to be more aware of, and learn to resist, marketing schemes.
Companies have fine-tuned the science of getting consumers to buy, with a multitude of psychological tricks. While I am decently aware of when I am falling for those tricks, I want to learn to see them with my eyes even more wide open, and become more proficient at resisting them! If the previous point is learning to develop awareness of my own patterns and temptations, this will be learning to recognize temptations from without, and learn how to overcome those.
4. I want to fine-tune my style.
I think I have a pretty good sense of my style already, and I do enjoy experimenting with my style sometimes (and I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with that). But the fact that I have accumulated so many clothing items indicates I could stand to be a bit more picky in my purchases. Instead of having a closet with too many clothes, I would like to have a smaller closet of clothes that really work for my style and figure and make me feel confident and satisfied with what I have. Taking a break on buying new clothes will give me space to really explore my closet, figure out the things that I like the most, and hopefully curate my style to a point that I'm excited about what I already own, instead of only getting excited when I have something new.
5. I want to stop using shopping as escapism.
As I mentioned above, I know that sometimes if I'm a little bored with life, or having a bad month emotionally, I am more often tempted to add a little interest to things by buying something. It's exciting to get something in the mail, it's exciting to have something new to wear or read!
But when I start to use that new-things excitement to soothe myself or escape something stressful, I know in my heart I'm not turning to the right thing. I should turn to the Lord to be my comfort in those stressful moments, I should learn to develop a heart of gratitude and appreciation for what I have instead of allowing myself to get bored with it all. I don't like that I've put "things" in a role that they were never meant to fulfill. Scripture instructs us to hate sin so much that we would even give up our eye or hand to stop sinning (Matthew 18:9) - if something is taking a sinful place in our lives, we need to cut it out, throw it away. That's what I'm trying to do with shopping. It has the potential to become a form of idolatry, and that's serious.
6. I want to order my affections rightly.
Sometimes we buy too much stuff because our priorities - our affections - are out of order. I would never say I care about things (things!) more than Christ - but when I give shopping an undue place in affecting my mood or attitudes, in my thoughts or my budget, I'm not loving the Lord as well as I'm called to. Material things can become a distraction from what I'm really supposed to be doing, from virtues I'm supposed to be developing (self-control, thankfulness, putting the needs of others first, etc.). I think eliminating that distraction for a while will help me reset and bring my actions more in line with where my priorities lie.
You might remember that in 2021, I gave up social media for a year. I deleted all the apps for the major platforms off my phone, I deactivated my accounts, I took a firm detox.
It was a hard, emotional year in alot of ways. My eyes were opened to deeper sin issues than I even suspected when I started out. I had to wrestle with alot of regrets for wasted time and messed-up priorities. I had to come to terms with the fact that social media was occupying an undue place in my life and relationships, and it was painful to come face-to-face with the selfishness it had fostered in my heart.
At the end of the year, I hesitantly came back to a couple platforms, but this time my eyes were open, and my relationship with and attitude toward social media was entirely different. I had put it in it's proper place. I can't explain the peace that came from that.
The benefits from my social media reset have lasted. The scrolling habit was broken, and even now, two years later, I spend a tiny fraction of the time on social media that I did before my detox. Taking that year helped me love my family and the Lord better, and it took my eyes off myself. It was one of the best decisions I ever made, even though dealing with my own sinfulness was painful.
I am quite hopeful that taking a break from buying certain things will bring the same sort of freedom and peace that my social media break did. If it's even half as impactful on my habits, it will be well worth it.
I'll share another post soon with my rules!
Have any of you considered taking a break from shopping?
I know alot of people will not relate to my particular shopping issues at all, but I'm sure some of you do, and I'd love to hear what's worked for you.
I really, really love this. I could have written some of this! I’m also extremely careful with money but still use shopping as an escape. I’m going to come back to this often and read it.
Post a Comment