Showing posts with label Little Letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Little Letters. Show all posts

Dear Big Toe | Little Letters


Dear Big Toe On My Left Foot,
What happened to you?  You look terrible.  I can't figure out what is going on.  One minute you're fine, the next minute you are tingly and twice your normal size, and the situation has quickly morphed into ugly black and blue bruises.   Did I do something wrong?  Did I hurt you in some way?  Whatever I did, I'm sorry.

Dear Picture Of The Big Toe On My Left Foot, 
You do not do the injury (is that what it is?) justice.

Dear Weather, 
You are really throwing me for a loop, you know that?  Please just let me know if I need to return the kiddie pool you prompted me to buy last week.

Dear Bath And Body Works Sale,
You got me.  Again.  And now I'm left asking myself, is it truly a need to have hands that smell like "Beach Cabana" in the summer?

Just kidding, I'm still saying yes.

Dear Hannah B.,
Please send Luke P. home already, before we all regret it.

Dear Fellow Bachelorette Watchers,
If she sent him home this week, don't spoil it for me!  I haven't watched Monday's episode yet.

Dear Children Of Mine,
I hope you always know how delighted I am to be your mother.  It's like a never-ending treasure hunt. Sometime I look at you and I'm just amazed by how individual you all are - fun quirks to your personalities, new interests you are developing, hidden talents I get to glimpse.  If I had to dream up my own set of five unique children to be mine, I know for a fact I couldn't have dreamt up better than you.



Dear Homeschool Conference, 
Well, you've gone and pilfered my money again this year.  I took account of the damage to my bank account when I got home, and it wasn't pretty.  It was still worth it though.  You did give me a ton of biblical resources for discipling my kiddos, including books to satisfy my rather voracious reader.  I got to pretend to be a student again and take a ridiculous amount of notes, which makes my little nerdy heart happy.  And you encouraged me by reminding me of all I can gain through this effort to homeschool my children.  That's pretty priceless.  So I forgive you for tempting me with a bunch of books I didn't know we needed.

(Wyatt, with me when we visited you, Homeschool Conference.)

Dear Harvey,
Please stop shedding now.  I just am not sure how much longer I can take the constant vacuuming and picking tufts of hair off the side of the couches.  But I still love you.

Dear State Parks,
I always thought you smacked a bit of desperation.  Like you were shouting at potential tourists "Look!  Come here!  We have state parks!"  National Parks are one thing, but really, state parks?  Now we are just trying too hard.  I'm writing today to say that I was wrong.  There is a reason for your existence after all.  We've visited a few of you now, and I must admit, you are really pretty.




Dear "How Not To Die Alone" Book,
I had some issues with you.  Language!  Language!  Do I need to pull out the soap?  BUT, you did provide me with a great little Ella Fitzgerald playlist, so I guess I don't not like you.

Dear Grammar Nerds,
Yes, that was a double negative.

Dear Library,
If you were to compile a list of the top fine-payers, would I make the list?  Just wondering.  Also, is it normal to be willing to accrue the fine if it gives me a couple extra days to finish the book?  How many of your average patrons know that if you forget to return a book for 20 days, you will get charged a $40 dollar replacement fee, but that the fee will magically just disappear if you do happen to return the book?  I think this knowledge proves that I must be an avid library supporter.  Also, my husband always gets a break on paying the fees if I send him in there to sort it out.  I, on the other hand, never get a break.  I know he's more charming than me, generally speaking, but you do see the five little duckling-children trailing behind me, right?  Future taxpayers that will help fund your library, and I birthed them.  Just saying.

Dear Blog Readers Who Are Reading This Right Now,
How's June treating you so far?

Dear Blog Buddies,
Feel free to write a "Little Letters" post if you are so inclined!  And thanks to Brittney, Michelle, Rachel, Heather, and Bekah for joining me over the last month! Your posts made my day(s)!  Good old-school blogging solidarity there. ;-)








Little Letters | Springtime Notes


Dear Blog Friends, I have a disappointment to share.  I had intentions of writing a Little Letters post each month, because I like the format and and there was even a linkup attached!  Remember linkups?  The really early ones that were fun because they were small, and people actually commented on each other's posts?  But the blogger who was running the linkup seems to have dropped it.  I was waiting around to see if she'd bring it back, and was disappointed when she didn't.

However, I've finally decided, hey, why should that stop me?  So I'm sharing a few little letters from the past few months, and if you want to join in and share YOUR little letters (Michelle, Amanda, Bekah, Anyone-In-My-Sidebar, I know you would be great at this type of post, so consider this an official tag) - well, please do write one, and let me know.  We'll have our own informal linkup.

March

Dear Bathroom Renovation, I think you might be trying to kill us.  Or at least our budget.  And maybe also my feet.  I am tired of getting splinters while I'm trying to brush my teeth.

Dear Library, Why didn't you tell me you have a gorgeous back room with tons of windows?  I would have been visiting you each time I get away to work on computer stuff.  Do you know how much money I could have saved in Starbucks drinks?



Dear Bomb Cyclone,  I'm sorry, I'm just not that impressed.  I thought you were supposed to be like a hurricane, but our power didn't even go out.  (Just to clarify, this is not an invitation to try again, so don't get any ideas.  Let's just move on.)

April

Dear State Sales Tax System, I don't understand why I have to file two separate returns for two separate addresses when I'm just selling digital products out of my house (and I just happened to move).  I'm not even totally sure I have to collect sales tax on digital products, I'm just trying to be safe and follow the law and all that, but you are kind of making my life miserable.  Businesses that sell digital products are more common these days, right?  Can we come up with clearer rules please?  Thank you.

Dear Confused Reader, If you didn't know I have a "business", it's an Etsy shop in which I sell these pretty printable Bible verse cards. "Business" is in quotes because I just set it up and pay my taxes and do zero marketing, so it kind of feels like I'm cheating by calling it a business.  I'm just not very business-y, can you tell? #notabossbabe

Dear Swimsuit Shopping, Ugh.  Can we just...not?

Dear Warm Weather, I'm happy to see you and all, but can you please visit on a day when we are able to take a trip to the zoo?  Thank you.

Dear Self, It might be a little weird that you find it so satisfying to clip your kids' fingernails. Similar to how it might be weird to admit how satisfying it was to scrape mineralized bacterial colonies off people's teeth for a living for seven years.  Something about cleaning things up, and putting things back in order...maybe we shouldn't mention this to people.  They might not get it.

May

Dear New Swimsuit,  Where have you been all my life?

Dear Internet, Some of us do not have cable and must watch the new episodes of the Bachelorette one day late on Hulu.  PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL ANYTHING.  I like to analyze the show myself before I read your analysis.  Thank you for your consideration.

Dear Trees,  I do not approve of the delay and general sub-parity in your flowering this year, but I will grudgingly give you props for at least not skipping it altogether.  Good job.  But do better next time.




Dear Email Inbox,  Is this an episode of The Twilight Zone?  You've delivered a mere ONE email from a blogger who just had to tell me about the Build Your Bundle Homeschool sale tomorrow.  ONE.  What is happening?  Where are the other 25?

Dear Build Your Bundle Sale, I'm not really sure why you are so tempting.  I think I've used a mere two or three of the resources from the massive bundle I bought from you last year.  I feel like you tricked me.  And yet, I see all your shiny new printable curricula and worksheets, and I still get sucked in every time.  Maybe the homeschool inspiration and excitement you offer is worth something, but let's just say I'm going to keep a tighter hold on my wallet this year.  Just please don't offer me coupons.

Dear New Books I Bought,  Look what you made me do!  I was supposed to refrain from new-book-buying until the library sale.  Now you are making me feel guilty.  But also not too guilty, because the way you freshened up my to-read list has given my reading a boost.  I feel so torn.  Let's just not tell anyone about my lapse, okay?

Dear Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges,  Wow, you are timely.

Dear Bathroom Renovation,  It's almost time for you to move on.  It's been fun, but also not.  But look at what we have (almost) accomplished together! It's a beautiful thing!  But really, it's time for you to go now.  Thanks for all you do.

Dear Mother's Day Weekend,  You were nice to me this year.  Really laid back.  You gave me time with my mom and my kids, and that's really your purpose, isn't it?  We brought my mom breakfast, went to church, bought some loose-leaf tea, went to a park.  Derek made me my favorite dinner after the kids went to bed, which we ate while we watched our show.  I felt no stress of unreasonable expectations of you, and you even gave me some time to relax too.  Let's do this again next year.




Dear Summer,  Hurry up please, and no more fake-outs!  My poor sunlight-starved heart can't take it.  I have big plans for you.









Dear Candy Hearts | Little Letters Vol.1



Dear Candy Hearts, I love you.  I love you too much, especially with tea.  This has become a really unhealthy relationship.  I'm thinking of breaking it off on Valentine's Day.

Dear Galentine's Day, Are you actually a thing?  Like, do people actually get together with their girlfriends on Galentine's Day?  How do I get in on that?

Dear Husband, Why is it so hard to buy you presents?

Dear Snow, It's time for your mid-year performance review, and I have to say, your results are above average.  You've beautified the landscape, and you haven't melted off right away.  Keep up the good work.



Dear Red Rising Series, Why are you so hard to put down?  You are vulgar.  You are violent.  You killed off alot of the characters I liked.  You are everything I don't like in books.  If you were a human, we would not be friends.  So why can't I stop reading??

Dear Birds, Just sit.  Sit still.  Just for a minute, so my bird-crazy boy can get a picture of one of you. Please and thank you.




Dear Homeschooling,  You are so much more fun than I thought you would be when we first met.  And I thought you would be pretty fun.  Those days when I cried because I thought we weren't getting along, they were just a phase.  I didn't mean what I said.  If it happens again, just disregard.  In my saner moments (like now) I think there is something special here, and I know you can handle my crazy.  This relationship is worth fighting for.

Dear Churches Everywhere,  At the risk of being shouted down for dipping my toes into the broiling controversy of church music - my friend, it shouldn't be that hard to get the music volume level right.  It's not that complicated - I need to be able to hear the words and I need to feel like I can sing along.  If I can't hear the words or sing along, I fail to see the point of getting to you in time for the music.  If the music is too quiet, I hear myself sing too much, and realize I'd be one of those people that are laughed off the stage on American Idol, which is not fun for me or anyone around me.  If the music is too loud, I can't understand a word those people up front are saying, and I can't hear myself sing, and I can't hear anyone else sing, and I start to wonder what the point of all this noise is anyway, and I fear my eardrums may bleed when I leave.  Let's just try to avoid both these things, please.

Dear People Everywhere, Think of something more interesting to say about my five kids than "you have your hands full".  If I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase, I'd never have to scrounge for coffee money again.  Preferably, pick something that is not rude, and bonus points if it's encouraging (because as you've noted EVERY DAY OF MY MOM-LIFE, yes, this is quite a job).  Comments on the cuteness of my offspring are always welcome.

P.S. People Everywhere, if you want to GIVE me a dollar each time you utter the aforementioned phrase, then please continue.  This mom needs her coffee.


(Moi on our nature hike the other day, powered by coffee.)

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