20 hours ago
I think one of the scariest things to realize as you grow up is that life may not always turn out like you planned.
I know when I was a girl, I had lots of ideas in my mind of what my life would look like. And as an adult, some of the most scary, stressful times for me have been when my life wasn't looking the way I thought it would. One of those times was when I wasn't sure whether I was going to be able to get pregnant. It was hard because I was afraid my life wasn't going to happen the way I wanted. I feel like I am going through another time like that right now, and not sure if or when things will change - or not sure if it will change in a way that I like.
However, I've come to accept that God's plans for our lives aren't always going to fit in with what makes us feel comfortable. And if we fight to stay in a comfortable place against what He has planned for us, we might miss out on something so much greater than what we had planned for ourselves.
Of course we don't want to be in whatever difficult situations we find ourselves in, but I think it's important to realize that God is always taking care of us, and His plans always work out. It sounds trite to say that, and it isn't always encouraging when going through dark times, but it is the truth.
I think sometimes we have to look for the way the Lord is growing us through our hard times, because through everything in life He is working to make us more like Jesus. When we recognize that as His plan for us we can learn to embrace the good that God is working out for and in us, instead of fighting our circumstances and getting nowhere.
What prompted these musings today? Would you believe it was a children's book?
Lysa Terkeurst (of Proverbs 31 Ministries) has written a children's book called It Will Be Okay, all about a frightened fox and a seed that doesn't want his life to change - so Little Seed is upset when the Farmer takes him away from his cozy seed packet and shoves him down into the dirt, while his friend the Little Fox runs frightened looking for him. But they don't know what the Farmer knows - that something beautiful is about to happen.
This book is so sweet for helping kids understand God's sovereignty through life's changes, but I think it speaks so strongly to adults too! The language flows really well, and it's one of those children's books that is just fun to read to your kids. It comes out today, and I'm pretty sure it's destined to be a Christian children's book classic.
One of my favorite lines in the book is:
"But the Farmer was good, and the Farmer was kind, and the Farmer was always watching over them. Even when they didn't know it."
How true is that of our lives? God is good and kind, and is always watching over us. He has good plans for us even when it doesn't seem like it. And even when we are in the thick of the "dark, messy places", He sees the beauty that is coming. That is so comforting to me, and such a simple but profound reminder from a place I least expected it.
---
Note: I received "It Will Be Okay" for free from Tommy Nelson in exchange for a review. This is my honest opinion.
If you are a blogger and want free children's books, sign up to be a "Tommy Mommy" here!
Tommy Nelson is giving one of my readers a copy of "It Will Be Okay"! Enter below!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Earlier this year, I went to listen to a dental lecture on communicating with children. I was expecting something that I could apply to my job as a dental hygienist - how to talk to kids to reduce their fears of the dentist, etc.
Instead the course ended up being more about a parenting philosophy that was . . . shall we say, interesting.
There are so many things that I could say about what was said in that course, but the main point that I think the speaker was trying to make is that it's important to get kid's to evaluate their own behavior (okay, I can live with that).
Where it gets interesting is when the speaker said that you shouldn't come out and say what "good" behavior actually is. Instead you should deal with their behavior in one of two ways - either you should describe the situation or their behavior without making any "judgement" on it one way or the other and let them come to their own conclusions, or you should describe it in terms of the feelings you have about the child's behavior.
Examples:
"Oh Johnny, I feel so happy when you take out the trash!"
Child does well on a test - "You must feel so happy, you tried so hard."
"Johnny, I get frustrated when you hit your sister."
According to the speaker, you should under no circumstances use the word "good" (or "bad"). Things like "good job", and "I am so proud of you" are off limits, because these comments either 1) make a judgement about the child's behavior (which you shouldn't do, because no one likes to feel judged), or 2) they "steal" the pride your child should feel in themselves.
I have a problem with this kind of thinking on so many levels, but the biggest issue I see with this is the inability to help your child establish the difference between what is right (i.e. "good"), and what is wrong (ie. "bad" or "not good").
Of course I want my child to be able to evaluate their own behavior to determine whether it is acceptable or not. But with this philosophy, I'm teaching my child to base their actions on how it makes others (or themselves) feel.
So what happens when their friends want them to do something wrong? Your child has been taught to act in a way that keeps others happy - if it will make their friends happy or proud of them, there is no reason they shouldn't go along with the shenanigans.
What happens when your child decides something that is wrong makes them feel good? Why shouldn't they do it if it makes them feel happy, accomplished, etc?
Kids need a more solid basis for right behavior than feelings, or they will find themselves lost.
I have no problem telling my child when they do something right (i.e. "good"), or when they do something that is wrong. I'm not teaching them these things because it will make me "happy" when they do right (even though it will), or it will make me "frustrated" when they do wrong.
I'm teaching them these things because I don't make the rules. "Good" and "bad" behavior isn't based on emotions - it is based on what God says is right and wrong. I want what is going to be best for my kids, not what is going to make them feel good.
I don't want their behavior based on what will make me (or them) happy or unhappy. I want them to think of their behavior in terms of what makes God happy.
I want them to come to know Jesus as their Savior, and to desire to act in a way that is pleasing to Him. When they are young, they will need me to guide them on that - to teach them what good behavior is based on what God says in His word. They're not going to figure that out based on their own feelings - because you know what, sometimes wrong actions feel good. I have no problem opening my Bible and reading what it says to my kids, letting them know that this is how we know what is right and wrong.
They will still (with God's help) eventually get to the point where they can evaluate their own behavior and make good choices. But it will be more solid, because they won't be pulled back and forth by the whims of their own or others' feelings. They will have the Bible to stand on; they will have Jesus, their Savior, to look to as an example.
That is what I want for my kids. That is what I pray for.
And I'm still disappointed because I never even got to learn any tips for dealing with children's dental fears! Oh well.
As you all know, I started writing for the Tommy Nelson blog earlier this year - and last week Tommy Nelson flew all of the ladies who write for their blog out for a meet up! I have never done anything like this before, and it was so exciting! Here are some of the things we did.
On Thursday they flew us in, and we got to meet Tommy Nelson's amazing marketing team - the ladies we work with regularly, and who planned this wonderful trip!
(They had these goodie bags waiting for us in our rooms - I felt like a VIP!)
We settled in the Gaylord Opryland Hotel and Resort - and I just have to say, it was beautiful. The rooms were spacious, and out room had a balcony that overlooked one of their three gardens!
Before dinner, we took a boat ride through the river system that runs through the gardens - it was so cool. Then we went out to eat and it was so neat to meet the other bloggers in person!
On Friday we went to the Thomas Nelson offices and had meetings, and we got to meet so many people from the Tommy Nelson team. I was just so impressed and encouraged to hear everyone's heart for reaching kids for Jesus through the books they publish, and it left me even more honored to be able to work with this company.
(All of us with the Tommy Nelson team!)
We went out to Puckett's Grocery for dinner that night.
(Me with my roommate, Whitney from Rambles Of A SAHM.)
Then we walked around Broadway - we did not go into any of the honky tonks, but as we were walking past I could hear the live music in each one. It was quite the experience! Then we went to a boot place that had an amazing deal on cowboy boots. Derek has been wanting a new pair for a long time, so I got him a pair, and I couldn't resist getting myself some too.
(See, the turquoise on my boots? I couldn't pass that up.)
(Gorgeous night in Nashville.)
On Saturday we went out to breakfast at the Loveless Cafe! The biscuits were so good. I don't think I've ever tasted a biscuit like that. I'm serious.
(They had these custom Tommy Mommy Meetup t-shirts made for us! That is my Twitter and Instagram handle on the back!)
(All of us at breakfast.)
We went shopping at the Opryland Mills that afternoon, and then Johnny Rocket's for dinner!
(Sporting my new boots.)
After dinner we went to the Grand Ole Opry to see a show! I am definitely a country music fan, so I really enjoyed the artists!
At intermission a lady came up to our rows and had us follow her, and we found out that we were getting a backstage tour! We got to see the back entrance where the stars enter, the dressing rooms, and the green room.
(That guy on the left in this picture is Jonathan Jackson, one of the stars of the show "Nashville".)
We watched a song from the side of the stage - it was so cool!
Then we got back to our seats, and Vince Gill came on! It was so cool to see him perform!
The whole Grand Ole Opry experience was so cool, a once in a lifetime thing!
We went back to the hotel and I had to get a picture with my roomy, Whitney. She was so fun to hang out with on this trip, and we actually have a lot in common! We stayed up way too late on Saturday night talking - I was so glad I got to room with her!
The next day we flew back home. I was excited about getting to see my kiddos again, but sorry to see the trip end - everyone at Tommy Nelson made us feel so special and planned everything so well! I am proud to be a part of this group!
Check out the Tommy Nelson blog to read more from all these ladies!
To see more pics, follow me on Instagram!
The other week I had one of the worst nights of sleep I have had in a while. I was up eight times with the kids. Eight separate times! In one night. Needless to say, we were all exhausted the next morning.
The main reason the older two kept waking up was because it was a stormy night, and because I suspect there may be squirrels in our attic. If it wasn't the thunder waking Gwen up (she hates thunderstorms), it was Wyatt wondering if the noises he was hearing were Ralphie ( I skirted the question because I didn't think telling him there were squirrels in the attic would be helpful).
I hadn't yet received God Is Always Good in the mail at that point, but when I did read through it with the kids later, it made me think of that night. I especially think the section on sometimes being scared would have been great for reminding the kids that God is always with them! I did remind them of that at the time as well, but it's always nice when you can read a book together and reinforce something that you are trying to teach your kids.
I think this book is perfect for explaining to kids why they don't have to be afraid or worried - because God is always with them, and He is always good.
This book also tackles tougher subjects, like bullying, death, and why bad things happen, in ways that are understandable and comforting for young kids. The illustrations are so cute and colorful, and I also loved that each page contains a Bible verse! I'm adding several of the verses mentioned to my list of verses to help Wyatt memorize.
If you are looking for a book to help your child when they are scared or anxious, I'd definitely recommend this book. Each page is such a good reminder that God is good, His plans are good, and He is always there to help us.
Preview the book here!
Note: I received this book for free from Tommy Nelson in exchange for this review. This is my honest opinion.
As you are reading this, I am probably on my way to the airport to fly to Nashville!
It kind of makes me want to burst out in song, but I don't know a Nashville-related song off the top of my head. Let's see…
"Goooing to Nashville, and I'm, gonnnna meet Tommy Mommies . . ."
(You know, to the tune of Going To The Chapel? I know, it doesn't really work.)
Lack of a soundtrack notwithstanding, I am very excited! This week is the Tommy Mommy meet up - Tommy Nelson is flying out all of the moms who write for their blog, and they've got a bunch of fun stuff planned for us. I am excited to see a new place and meet some of the amazing ladies who also write for the Tommy Nelson blog!
I also admit that I am eagerly anticipating getting a couple nights of uninterrupted sleep. That hasn't happened in . . . I'm not sure how long. But it's been a while.
I was thinking yesterday as I was packing that I think this is the first time that I have traveled totally by myself - and I think this will be the longest that I will be away from any of my babies since they've been born. It makes me a little anxious, leaving them, even though I am sure they are going to have a ton of fun spending the night at Grandma's house, and then hanging out the rest of the time with Derek when he gets home.
Sometimes it can be good as a mom to get away for a little bit and refresh, but I find for me, it's not really the time away that does me the most good. It's the time leading up to leaving my family. I realize that I am not going to see them for a little while, so I enjoy every little thing a bit more. Suddenly it doesn't bother me as much when one of them gets pumpkin all over my pants with little sticky fingers, or when one of them needs to be snuggled a little longer before going to sleep for the night, or when one of them wakes up and asks me to "sleep on my pillow" for a little while.
It's good to realize I am leaving them for a few days, because I remember that I don't really want to, not for long.
It's good to get away and rest up and get inspired, so I'm ready to come back and give them all my energy again.
And it's good to come back, because I missed them, and I remember how much I love this mom gig.
I love it even when everyone is crying all at once, and there are cheerios all over the floor, and I still haven't had a chance to shower this week, much less finish packing.
It's just fun being their mom.
----
I have a couple posts scheduled for early next week, but I'll get a recap of my trip up as soon as I can! If you want a sneak peek, you can always keep up with me on Instagram!
I think I have mentioned before that Derek and I are country music fans. I am a fan because I grew up listening to country music, and appropriately, I happened to live in the country. Everyone listened to country music where I grew up, but I think I would have liked it regardless. I love how a lot of the music is family focused, and I like songs I can sing along to!
Derek and I have been Josh Turner fans for a long time - he sings one of my favorite songs. When I saw that he wrote a devotional for men called "Man Stuff", I asked Derek if he would read it if I requested it, and he said he definitely would!
This is a book that is geared toward husbands and fathers, and it is filled with practical encouragement. Derek has been enjoying the book so far! I told him I needed a quote from him for my review, and he said:
"He shares a lot of stories from his life and his walk with the Lord. I wouldn't necessarily call it a devotional, but I think it's an encouraging book, and it can help you to focus on godly priorities."
There you go, straight from my man.
Even though I requested this book for my husband, I have been enjoying it too! Each chapter is a different story from Josh Turner's life, including a corresponding Bible verse, with wisdom on how to be a godly man, husband, and father (Turner has three kids). I think I tend to have a different idea of what constitutes a "devotional", and both Derek and I agreed that we wouldn't necessarily categorize this as a devotional book - more just an encouraging book with stories on Christian living, which we also appreciate.
I think it is really interesting to read more about Turner and his family since we are fans of his music! I like the simple truths that Turner shares in each chapter. I haven't read through the entire book yet, but I think lot of the stories he shares are things that men would resonate with. The book lives up to it's name, "Man Stuff".
I think this book would make a great gift, especially for men that like Josh Turner's music, since a lot of the content is autobiographical. Something to keep in mind since Christmas is right around the corner!
Tommy Nelson is offering a copy of this book to one of you! Fill out the form below for a chance to win!
Note: I received this book for free from Tommy Nelson in exchange for this review - this is my honest opinion.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
If you missed part one of my giving-up-Facebook story, you can check it out here!
My break from Facebook was really healthy for me. I honestly don't remember much about it, except that it felt like a really easy detox. There were times when I missed Facebook a little bit, but I honestly didn't think much about it.
But there were things happening in my heart.
I know there were hurts that I was holding on to, and having a break from Facebook allowed me to let those go.
I know I learned a lot about pride through the process. I realized one of my main reasons for resisting the break from Facebook was my pride. I wanted to show off my life, especially to those who had hurt me in the past. While that may be a natural desire, it was boasting, pure and simple. I was trying to prove something to people, prove that I was worth knowing. I was putting the opinion of people ahead of the opinion of the Lord.
Scripture tells us we shouldn't boast, except in the cross of Christ, and I knew that my desire to impress everyone on Facebook did not fit with that. Giving up Facebook gave me the chance to get out of that habit, and it took away my avenue to keep failing in that area.
Mostly, it felt like a breath of fresh air to be off it. I didn't have to think about what everyone else was doing. I didn't have to feel frustrated every time I got on Facebook. I could do my own things, develop the relationships that were important to me in person, and it surprised me how little I thought about it.
However, there did come a day when I realized that maybe it was time to give Facebook another chance. I had been off of Facebook for almost a year, and something big happened in my life.
I got pregnant with Gwen.
That little blessing made it abundantly clear to me that Facebook did have some benefits, such as being able to announce our new addition to everyone I loved at the same time. So after careful consideration, I created a new Facebook account.
When I decided to get back on Facebook, I created a few boundaries for myself.
For one thing, I decided not to be friends with any guys, except for those who were in my family. It's not that there were any problems with any of the males I was friends with before, but I wondered why I had never instituted that rule for myself when I was on Facebook the first time. The stories of marriages breaking up because of connections made on Facebook are rampant, and though I never expect that to happen to me, I wondered why I should even take the chance. Now, most of my Facebook friends are women, and the few men that I am friends with are relatives.
For the first several months I was very strict with who I decided to add as Facebook friends. I mainly wanted to be friends with people who I actually saw regularly in my real life, or people who I would like to be closer friends with. I didn't see the benefit of giving a closer glimpse of my life to people who I never actually heard from outside of Facebook. My friend list was probably about 50-60 people, and that was how I liked it.
If I felt like I was starting to get annoyed with someone's posts, or if someone was just being a little too negative or controversial for me, I just blocked their posts from my newsfeed - sometimes for just a little while, and sometimes permanently. I knew if I was going to come back to Facebook this needed to be a safe place, and something that was going to improve my real-life relationships, not hurt them in any way. So if blocking someone's posts would contribute to that goal, that was what I did.
When I knew that my posts would only be going out to those whom I already knew and loved, and vice versa, it was much less tempting to try to show off. I thought more carefully about what I wanted to share. I didn't write posts to brag so much as to just share a little bit of my daily life with people who were already close to me. It was a much healthier way for me to do Facebook.
I was also on Facebook much less because I was out of the habit of checking it so often.
I rejoined Facebook almost two years ago, and I feel like it has stayed on a pretty even, healthy level since then. My friend list has grown to 115 people. I have loosened my standards a bit on accepting friend requests from people I don't know very well, mainly because I was reminded of a few people who I would not be friends with at all if it weren't for a connection that was originally strengthened by Facebook. There are some benefits to Facebook, and this is one of them - I think if used properly, Facebook can not only enhance and strengthen existing friendships, but it can also cause friendships with certain people to form when they may never have otherwise.
My goal continues to be to keep Facebook a safe place for myself. I have recognized that I don't have to leave my feelings at the mercy of posts on Facebook, and I give myself permission to limit it where I need to without feeling guilty (such as when I block certain posts). Facebook can be a very useful tool, or it can cause problems in my life, and I think I am the one who decides where on that spectrum it is going to fall.
Within my boundaries, I have found there are things that I love about Facebook.
I love that it does let me keep up with friends that are not in my same state.
I love that it opens up opportunities to connect with some ladies on a more personal level, particularly when it gives me the chance to suggest a get-together that may not have otherwise happened. It's a lot more natural to suggest getting together for coffee with someone through Facebook than through cold-calling or hunting down someone's e-mail.
I love that it allows me to share pictures with people who don't get to see my kids as often, because it has become apparent that I am ridiculously bad at sending out e-mail updates.
I love that I can announce happy news, like pregnancies, so that everyone who is important to me can know at roughly the same time.
My break allowed me to recognize the problems with my own heart that were being perpetuated by Facebook, work on them, and come back with a fresh perspective. I feel like Facebook contributes much more positively to my life now.
So it took me 2+ years to share it, but that is the story of the time I gave up Facebook.
Have any of you ever struggled with your Facebook use? Have any of you ever taken a break from Facebook? What kind of boundaries do you have for yourself on Facebook?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
