Natalie is going to share some tips for ways to bless new moms, and I found myself nodding my head to all her tips - especially the last one! Moms, please add your own experiences or tips at the end. We'd both love to read what you found helpful after having your baby(ies)!
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I've been that mom twice. The one who just had a baby, is tired, is sore, is hungry, is emotional. If you haven't been in those shoes (or sometimes even if you have!) it is hard to know what will bless her the most. What will help her, what will make her feel most loved, what will make her life a little bit easier. So I've compiled a list of some of the things I think would most bless a brand new mom with a little one(s).
1. Text, don't call her. New moms never know what's going to be happening when. If they're trying to figure out breastfeeding, or simply cuddling their baby, they won't have an extra hand to talk on the phone. They might be sleeping at 2 p.m. - you don't want to be the guy that wakes them up! A text will give them the freedom to respond when it is convenient for them and not feel pressured to answer the phone or call you right back.
2. Bring their family a meal. Try to make this as easy on them as possible by bringing disposable containers so they don't have to wash and return them to you. If they are getting multiple meals it may be hard for them to remember which ones belong to which people.
3. Offer to stop by and bring her something. Anything. Maybe she needs more diapers, maybe she wants Starbucks, or maybe she needs stool softeners - ha! I didn't say it will be glamorous, but just ask her what she needs. Getting out of the house to run to the store with a 4 day old is hard. She'll appreciate the offer.
5. Ask how you can help her around the house. Let her know you're willing to take and do her laundry, scrub her dishes, or clean her bathroom. Those things are probably at the bottom of her to do list. They come after: feed the baby, snuggle the baby, feed the baby, change the baby, snuggle the baby, snuggle the baby, feed the baby, nap, eat, feed the baby, change the baby, snuggle the baby........
{^^ those moments? WAY more important than house work.}
6. Send her a card, a care package or just an email/text with no agenda. Just to say 'hey, I'm thinking about you and you're rocking this mom thing!' Don't expect a response, a thank you card, or anything else - just do it to let her know she is doing a great job!
7. Offer (with no pressure) to come and hold/rock the baby while she takes a nap or shower. Sometimes new moms feel like they just physically cannot put the baby down because the time is so fleeting. Don't be offended if she says NO WAY!
8. If she has other kids, ask her how you can help out with them. Could you take them to the park? Maybe to the library? Maybe you could even just come over and cook lunch for them while she focuses on the baby for an hour or two.
9. Give her some space and don't take things personally. A lot of new moms have tons of scary emotions going on. I bawled 10 times a day because I loved my babies so much, and that scared me because no one told me it would happen. I wanted it to just be me and my family in a bubble for awhile and some people were offended by that. Don't be. Try to understand that this is precious time for them!
10. When you come to visit the new baby or bring a meal (not when you come to help out), don't linger. She will probably be un-showered, her house will be messy and she'll have a baby attached to her chest. She probably won't feel like entertaining guests. Drop off the meal, tell her how beautiful her baby is and don't stay longer than 30 minutes tops.
Mamas-what else would you add?
Great ideas! It was a huge blessing to us after both our girls were born when people brought us meals. Some of their recipes are now in our regular dinner rotation! This isn't a suggestion for ways to bless a new mom, but is more for the new mom herself: don't be afraid to accept help and say yes to those offers from friends. Don't be embarrassed that they might see underwear while doing a load of laundry. Your friends genuinely love you and want to bless you, so don't rob them of that opportunity if they want to do something that truly would make your life a little easier during the transition after having a baby.
Something I do when I drop off a meal is provide all the (disposable) dishes necessary to eat the meal (cups, plates, bowls, forks, spoons, napkins, etc). I also stick a travel bottle of multipurpose cleaner and a cleaning cloth in my purse and excuse myself to "use the bathroom" when I'm there. And then I do a little cleaning in the bathroom...wipe down the sink. Wipe down the toilet. Wipe down the tub if there is one. And I try my best to be sneaky and wash any dishes in the sink or load them in the dishwasher when I bring the food in. And I always ask what they've eaten the last few days before I make their meal so they don't get a bunch of repeats (takethemameal.com is a great tool for setting up a meal plan)!
Disposable is key!! So helpful for them to just be able to toss it and not have to worry about washing everything and remembering which dish goes to which person! Thanks for sharing!
That is so true! It can be hard to humble ourselves and accept help, but people are more than willing! Thanks for reading :)
I love your ideas, Amber! You want to come over after I have a baby? ;-)
Amen! It can be hard to accept help sometimes, but it is such a blessing both ways when you do!
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