4 hours ago
Today I just wanted to reflect on how powerful our God is. I've been continually amazed over the past couple months by how He's been working not only in my life, but in the lives of those around me.
As you all know, Derek and I had trouble getting pregnant with this baby. Nothing I've been through has been quite so stressful, or painful.
I recently read this on a new blog I found: "I don't know how to explain the feeling of thinking, fearing, that you might not be able to conceive a child as a woman. It's such a sinking feeling. It's easy to obsess over. It makes you feel inadequate." That's exactly right. It can be a dark place to be.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
I know the Lord accomplished great things in my life through those months of infertility. He taught me to lean on Him, and trust that His plans, whatever they might be, were best. He taught me to look for the ways He was going to use this situation, and I felt assured that there is always a purpose, even when it's hard to see. I wrote several posts on my struggles, and I trust that He has used those posts to encourage others when they needed encouragement.
(If you are interested in those posts, see Babies And Being Content, The Fertility Factor, and To Trust Him (And A Good Cry) - that last one was actually written after I found out I was pregnant, but it's full of the lessons I learned during that time.)
One thing that really helped me through all those months of waiting were my "infertility buddies" as I like to call them. These were ladies that were going through much the same thing that I was, and we would spend time talking or e-mailing, encouraging each other and brainstorming on what to try next. I know the Lord placed them in my life - He knew that I would need them.
One of my infertility buddies was Amber. Amber and I went through almost every step of this struggle together. Amber was my very first follower and blogging friend, and we hit it off and ended up e-mailing each other regularly after that. She was the one who told me about the effects of the birth control pill (if you're pro-life, you need to click on the link and read that post), and we went off the pill at about the same time. We both realized we were having problems ovulating, and then we both ended up talking with our hubbies and deciding to try for babies right away. We both prayed for each other.
Then, by the Lord's grace, I got pregnant. His grace and goodness, not only in giving us this baby, but in the countless ways He showed me His faithfulness in the months prior to that, still amaze me.
". . . Pray for one another, that you may be healed." James 5:16b
Being pregnant only made my burden for my "infertility buddies" heavier. I know so many of you had prayed for me through those frustrating months, and my heart was heavy for my friends who weren't pregnant, but wanted to be. I started praying even harder for those I knew who were still trying, including Amber, who was being told by her doctors that she probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant without fertility treatments. (I hope you know that I still pray regularly for my dear friends who are still waiting for the Lord to grant them a baby - you know who you are).
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11
God is bigger than a prognosis. He can do anything He pleases, and He likes to surprise us.
Amber is pregnant! No, she didn't do any fertility treatments - in fact she had nearly given up hope of conceiving and had determined that she and her husband may just have to adopt all their children. But the Lord had other plans, and His plans are always the best plans!
(Amber just announced her pregnancy on her blog - head on over there and congratulate her, if you're so inclined!)
After I had written this post, I was made aware of another blogging friend with an amazing story of God's grace and plan in this area. You might all remember Jaime? She moved from a Blogger blog to a Wordpress blog earlier this year. She and her husband have walked through infertility for several years, and she became a mother to her sweet little boy, whom they adopted. I couldn't believe it when I read it, but after they had decided it was time to adopt again, Jaime found out she is pregnant! Amazing, what our God can do . . . head on over to Jaime's blog to read her full infertility and pregnancy story and congratulate her too!
These are just two stories (three, counting mine) of how the Lord has worked in mighty ways in the lives of ladies I know. There are other stories that I'm not at liberty to share right now. Maybe sometime in the future.
I just wanted to encourage you ladies who are still longing for a baby, and wondering if that day will ever come when it's your happy story on your blog. God is more powerful than a diagnosis. He is the Great Physician. He is the Giver of Good Things. Whether He chooses to open your womb, or whether He chooses to reflect His ultimate plan of love and redemption in your life through adoption, He knows what He's doing. He is powerful. And His plans and timing are always perfect.
"He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
He seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD."
Psalm 113:7-9
As you all know, Derek and I had trouble getting pregnant with this baby. Nothing I've been through has been quite so stressful, or painful.
I recently read this on a new blog I found: "I don't know how to explain the feeling of thinking, fearing, that you might not be able to conceive a child as a woman. It's such a sinking feeling. It's easy to obsess over. It makes you feel inadequate." That's exactly right. It can be a dark place to be.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
I know the Lord accomplished great things in my life through those months of infertility. He taught me to lean on Him, and trust that His plans, whatever they might be, were best. He taught me to look for the ways He was going to use this situation, and I felt assured that there is always a purpose, even when it's hard to see. I wrote several posts on my struggles, and I trust that He has used those posts to encourage others when they needed encouragement.
(If you are interested in those posts, see Babies And Being Content, The Fertility Factor, and To Trust Him (And A Good Cry) - that last one was actually written after I found out I was pregnant, but it's full of the lessons I learned during that time.)
One thing that really helped me through all those months of waiting were my "infertility buddies" as I like to call them. These were ladies that were going through much the same thing that I was, and we would spend time talking or e-mailing, encouraging each other and brainstorming on what to try next. I know the Lord placed them in my life - He knew that I would need them.
One of my infertility buddies was Amber. Amber and I went through almost every step of this struggle together. Amber was my very first follower and blogging friend, and we hit it off and ended up e-mailing each other regularly after that. She was the one who told me about the effects of the birth control pill (if you're pro-life, you need to click on the link and read that post), and we went off the pill at about the same time. We both realized we were having problems ovulating, and then we both ended up talking with our hubbies and deciding to try for babies right away. We both prayed for each other.
Then, by the Lord's grace, I got pregnant. His grace and goodness, not only in giving us this baby, but in the countless ways He showed me His faithfulness in the months prior to that, still amaze me.
". . . Pray for one another, that you may be healed." James 5:16b
Being pregnant only made my burden for my "infertility buddies" heavier. I know so many of you had prayed for me through those frustrating months, and my heart was heavy for my friends who weren't pregnant, but wanted to be. I started praying even harder for those I knew who were still trying, including Amber, who was being told by her doctors that she probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant without fertility treatments. (I hope you know that I still pray regularly for my dear friends who are still waiting for the Lord to grant them a baby - you know who you are).
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11
God is bigger than a prognosis. He can do anything He pleases, and He likes to surprise us.
Amber is pregnant! No, she didn't do any fertility treatments - in fact she had nearly given up hope of conceiving and had determined that she and her husband may just have to adopt all their children. But the Lord had other plans, and His plans are always the best plans!
(Amber just announced her pregnancy on her blog - head on over there and congratulate her, if you're so inclined!)
After I had written this post, I was made aware of another blogging friend with an amazing story of God's grace and plan in this area. You might all remember Jaime? She moved from a Blogger blog to a Wordpress blog earlier this year. She and her husband have walked through infertility for several years, and she became a mother to her sweet little boy, whom they adopted. I couldn't believe it when I read it, but after they had decided it was time to adopt again, Jaime found out she is pregnant! Amazing, what our God can do . . . head on over to Jaime's blog to read her full infertility and pregnancy story and congratulate her too!
These are just two stories (three, counting mine) of how the Lord has worked in mighty ways in the lives of ladies I know. There are other stories that I'm not at liberty to share right now. Maybe sometime in the future.
I just wanted to encourage you ladies who are still longing for a baby, and wondering if that day will ever come when it's your happy story on your blog. God is more powerful than a diagnosis. He is the Great Physician. He is the Giver of Good Things. Whether He chooses to open your womb, or whether He chooses to reflect His ultimate plan of love and redemption in your life through adoption, He knows what He's doing. He is powerful. And His plans and timing are always perfect.
"He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
He seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD."
Psalm 113:7-9
It is the first thing everyone asks you when they find out you're pregnant - do you know if it's a boy or girl? Apparently, the answer is what people want to know, and these days couples have been coming up with more interesting ways to reveal whether they'll be shopping for pink or blue items.
Gender reveal parties are a fairly recent trend - basically the parents-to-be keep the gender a secret until the party, then invite people and reveal the gender in some creative way. The gender could be revealed by cutting a cake with blue or pink icing on the inside, opening an envelope with the answer on the inside, opening a bag containing pink or blue balloons, or any other fun thing you can think of.
I have read several blogs about different gender reveal parties, and they all looked like such fun, so after we found out we were going to have a baby, I decided that I'd like to do one too. Derek was on board with the idea as well, so that was all the encouragement I needed. We're finding out the gender on October 26th, so we decided to do our party on October 30th, and I realized I needed to start brainstorming for ideas.
What better tool for brainstorming than Google, I ask you? So I sat down in front of the laptop and got to work.
I'm still working out all the details, but as I was searching the web for ideas, I came across a few different articles against gender reveal parties. I was kind of surprised, but I read the articles to see what the complaints were.
One person stated that they thought gender reveal parties were just an excuse to get more gifts. I clearly stated on our invitations that no one was to bring us gifts, so that one I dismissed. There's the baby shower still, and I agree that asking people to bring gifts for the gender reveal party and the baby shower is a bit much.
Other sites argued that gender reveal parties are narcissistic and obnoxious. They said it presumptuous to think that people are going to care that much about your baby's gender, and it's rude to ask everyone to give up an entire afternoon/evening to come to your party.
I guess in a way I can see their point. Maybe it is narcissistic to hold an entire party just to tell the gender of your baby. And maybe people really don't want to have to come to another party for you, and you shouldn't expect them to.
Derek and I hardly ever have barbecues or parties at our house, even though we'd like to have people over more often. But it seems weird to throw a party for no reason, other than the fact that we just wanted to have a get together. So when the gender reveal party idea presented itself, I jumped on it, because it was a good excuse to have my close family and friends over for some good food, games, and other party stuff.
Plus from everything else I read, it just looked like alot of fun. Personally, I love going to these kind of things, and I wish I knew more people getting married or graduating or having babies so that I could be invited to more parties. Maybe other people don't like going to these events as much as I do, but the thought never crossed my mind.
I don't think motivations for throwing a gender reveal party would always qualify as narcissistic. In my case, I'm not really expecting people to care about the gender as much as I do - to me, it was just a good excuse to have a party. I don't want anyone to bring me gifts. And I only invited my close family and friends who I thought would really like to come (my apologies if any of you really don't want to come, and please don't feel obligated to make an appearance).
What do you think? Do think the gender reveal party trend is narcissistic or obnoxious, or do you think it's just a fun idea? Would you throw a gender reveal party? I'm curious to know what you all think.
Photo credit.
Does anyone else have as much trouble with patience as I do?
I just realized this past week how impatient I can really get. I started thinking about it more after a Community Bible Study lecture last Wednesday - it was mainly on how we are sometimes called to wait for certain things in life.
But with today's culture, it's so hard to wait, is it not? We don't have to wait long for almost anything these days, and it makes it harder to cultivate the habit of patience.
After that lecture, I was a little more conscious of my impatient attitude. There are the long lines at the grocery stores. The slow people in the buffet line that sorely tempt you to line-jump. The frustration when the internet is a little slower than you think it should be. That irritation at the driver that's going 45 mph in a 50 mph zone (the nerve)!
Is it really that big of deal if I have to wait an extra 48 seconds for a web page to load? Or if I'm 5 minutes later getting to my destination by going less than the speed limit? Would it kill me to just be patient with the slow buffet-line people or check-out clerks?
I feel like I'm living in that old Alabama song, "I'm In A Hurry (And I Don't Know Why)".
The final nail in my proverbial coffin was Thursday night, when I read this passage:
"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.
He also told them a parable: 'Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.'"
Luke 6:38-42 (Emphasis Mine)
You know why this passage was so convicting this time I read it? It is because I realized that even though I have very little patience with other people, I expect them to be patient with me.
I get annoyed when that impatient driver shoots past me in the passing lane. I expect people to just deal with it while I count out my change to the cashier. And I think they're pretty rude if I see an eye-roll or hear an impatient remark (not that I'm ever that obvious - I just stew in my impatience on the inside).
Funny how we expect people to wait for us, but we don't graciously give them the same courtesy.
I don't know about you, but on this issue, I have a big old log in my eye.
"For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." More scary words.
I can't really expect others to be patient with me if I'm not patient with others myself, can I? I don't want that same measure I use on other people to be measured back to me. But it will be - that's what Jesus assured us of when He said that.
The only thing that can change would be my own measure.
I also know how important patience will be when I have this sweet baby. I'm not sure you can be a really good parent unless you have patience with your children, and it is important to me to be a good example to my children as well. I don't want them to grow up with an inability to wait because of my own failure in this area.
My new goal is to work on cultivating patience. Not only will this make me and my family generally happier and help me avoid the unpleasant experience of having my own impatient measure used on myself, but it is obeying God's command to be patient with others. And pleasing God is what ultimately matters in life.
And you know, patience is a virtue, after all!
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."
-John Quincy Adams
I just realized this past week how impatient I can really get. I started thinking about it more after a Community Bible Study lecture last Wednesday - it was mainly on how we are sometimes called to wait for certain things in life.
But with today's culture, it's so hard to wait, is it not? We don't have to wait long for almost anything these days, and it makes it harder to cultivate the habit of patience.
After that lecture, I was a little more conscious of my impatient attitude. There are the long lines at the grocery stores. The slow people in the buffet line that sorely tempt you to line-jump. The frustration when the internet is a little slower than you think it should be. That irritation at the driver that's going 45 mph in a 50 mph zone (the nerve)!
Is it really that big of deal if I have to wait an extra 48 seconds for a web page to load? Or if I'm 5 minutes later getting to my destination by going less than the speed limit? Would it kill me to just be patient with the slow buffet-line people or check-out clerks?
I feel like I'm living in that old Alabama song, "I'm In A Hurry (And I Don't Know Why)".
The final nail in my proverbial coffin was Thursday night, when I read this passage:
"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.
He also told them a parable: 'Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.'"
Luke 6:38-42 (Emphasis Mine)
You know why this passage was so convicting this time I read it? It is because I realized that even though I have very little patience with other people, I expect them to be patient with me.
I get annoyed when that impatient driver shoots past me in the passing lane. I expect people to just deal with it while I count out my change to the cashier. And I think they're pretty rude if I see an eye-roll or hear an impatient remark (not that I'm ever that obvious - I just stew in my impatience on the inside).
Funny how we expect people to wait for us, but we don't graciously give them the same courtesy.
I don't know about you, but on this issue, I have a big old log in my eye.
"For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." More scary words.
I can't really expect others to be patient with me if I'm not patient with others myself, can I? I don't want that same measure I use on other people to be measured back to me. But it will be - that's what Jesus assured us of when He said that.
The only thing that can change would be my own measure.
I also know how important patience will be when I have this sweet baby. I'm not sure you can be a really good parent unless you have patience with your children, and it is important to me to be a good example to my children as well. I don't want them to grow up with an inability to wait because of my own failure in this area.
My new goal is to work on cultivating patience. Not only will this make me and my family generally happier and help me avoid the unpleasant experience of having my own impatient measure used on myself, but it is obeying God's command to be patient with others. And pleasing God is what ultimately matters in life.
And you know, patience is a virtue, after all!
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."
-John Quincy Adams
First of all, in case you missed it, congratulations to Brittney Galloway at Far More Than Rubies - she just announced that she and her hubby are going to have a baby! I'm so happy for you Brittney, I know you're going to make a wonderful mom!
Thought I'd better throw the above paragraph in there, because if you're anything like me and get way behind in your Google reader, you may have missed it! And it's super exciting news - very happy for you, Friend!
On to the regularly scheduled programming . . .
I have fond memories of the songs of my childhood.
My sweet mom must have gotten so tired of listening to kid's music tapes all the time. We didn't listen to the radio much in the car growing up - we mostly listened to our children's Bible tapes, some of my mom's Christian music tapes, and Christian radio. My mom was careful to make sure that we were listening to and watching good, pure things when we were young, and I so appreciate her desire to protect our minds now that I'm going to have a sweet baby of my own.
I plan to do the same with my kiddies. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem appropriate to be listening to songs about break-ups, hook-ups, drinking, or other bad stuff that sometimes get played on the radio when there are innocent, impressionable young minds listening. Nope, I'm going to constantly suffer through children's music too.
At least these days we have more resources to help us as parents. I plan on burning a couple "child friendly" country music CDs or playlists, filled with nice, innocent songs, and Derek and I could listen to that with the kids in the car sometimes. Plus there are way more Christian music radio stations now, which will be quite helpful too.
But I mainly want my children to listen to songs about Jesus. I want to teach them about Him and His love for us from a young age.
I'm so not up on all the new Christian child resources out there now. But here are some of my favorites from when I was a kid.
The Donut Man. I was very pleased to find out that Donut Man music is still around! It seems like all the really good ones disappear over time. These tapes (well, they're CDs now) are filled with fun Bible-related songs and even memory verses.
I think one of my favorites was The Centurion's Secret song, which told the story of the Centurion soldier who asked Jesus to heal his servant.
I also loved the whole Good Shephard album - lots of good songs on that one.
There are apparently a bunch of new ones too, and ones that we didn't happen to own when I was little, so the Donut Man website will be a good resource I think.
Another fun one is Psalty the Songbook. Just so happens that this one still exists too! I looked on the website and can not for the life of me figure out which album we had when I was a girl - we only had one Psalty tape. But just trust me, these are also good ones (especially the "Kid's Praise" albums - I have a feeling it was one of those).
One year for Christmas we each got a new Bible Song CD. We'd all listen to each other's CDs (weren't we so good at sharing?), and one of my favorites was my sister's CD. She got one of Steve Green's Hide 'Em In Your Heart albums. Basically it's just Bible verses put to music. Even to this day I still remember some verses because of those songs. I think this is an especially good thing for Christian kids to listen to, because it's just God's Word - and His words do not return empty but always accomplish the purpose for which He sent them (Isaiah 55 10-11).
Oh my goodness, Google is a wonderful invention! I wasn't sure I was going to find any of these CDs anymore, because they were made a long time ago - but with the help of Google I've found every one!
This one is just fun. The Rappin' Rabbit tape was one of our favorites as kids, just because it was so different from our other tapes and fun to listen to - but it still included good, godly principles in each of the songs. Unfortunately it appears that they are no longer making this one, but you never know, someone might decide to re-release it someday.
And that, my friends, is my "Bible Music For Kids" resource list. What kind of songs did you listen to when you were a child? Do you think they influenced you even as you grew up?
It's so refreshing to know that most of these are still available to buy. Makes me want to search for other items from my childhood before they all disappear.
Maybe I'll have to do another one of these posts on children's books . . .
Thought I'd better throw the above paragraph in there, because if you're anything like me and get way behind in your Google reader, you may have missed it! And it's super exciting news - very happy for you, Friend!
On to the regularly scheduled programming . . .
I have fond memories of the songs of my childhood.
My sweet mom must have gotten so tired of listening to kid's music tapes all the time. We didn't listen to the radio much in the car growing up - we mostly listened to our children's Bible tapes, some of my mom's Christian music tapes, and Christian radio. My mom was careful to make sure that we were listening to and watching good, pure things when we were young, and I so appreciate her desire to protect our minds now that I'm going to have a sweet baby of my own.
I plan to do the same with my kiddies. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem appropriate to be listening to songs about break-ups, hook-ups, drinking, or other bad stuff that sometimes get played on the radio when there are innocent, impressionable young minds listening. Nope, I'm going to constantly suffer through children's music too.
At least these days we have more resources to help us as parents. I plan on burning a couple "child friendly" country music CDs or playlists, filled with nice, innocent songs, and Derek and I could listen to that with the kids in the car sometimes. Plus there are way more Christian music radio stations now, which will be quite helpful too.
But I mainly want my children to listen to songs about Jesus. I want to teach them about Him and His love for us from a young age.
I'm so not up on all the new Christian child resources out there now. But here are some of my favorites from when I was a kid.
The Donut Man. I was very pleased to find out that Donut Man music is still around! It seems like all the really good ones disappear over time. These tapes (well, they're CDs now) are filled with fun Bible-related songs and even memory verses.
I think one of my favorites was The Centurion's Secret song, which told the story of the Centurion soldier who asked Jesus to heal his servant.
I also loved the whole Good Shephard album - lots of good songs on that one.
There are apparently a bunch of new ones too, and ones that we didn't happen to own when I was little, so the Donut Man website will be a good resource I think.
Another fun one is Psalty the Songbook. Just so happens that this one still exists too! I looked on the website and can not for the life of me figure out which album we had when I was a girl - we only had one Psalty tape. But just trust me, these are also good ones (especially the "Kid's Praise" albums - I have a feeling it was one of those).
One year for Christmas we each got a new Bible Song CD. We'd all listen to each other's CDs (weren't we so good at sharing?), and one of my favorites was my sister's CD. She got one of Steve Green's Hide 'Em In Your Heart albums. Basically it's just Bible verses put to music. Even to this day I still remember some verses because of those songs. I think this is an especially good thing for Christian kids to listen to, because it's just God's Word - and His words do not return empty but always accomplish the purpose for which He sent them (Isaiah 55 10-11).
Oh my goodness, Google is a wonderful invention! I wasn't sure I was going to find any of these CDs anymore, because they were made a long time ago - but with the help of Google I've found every one!
This one is just fun. The Rappin' Rabbit tape was one of our favorites as kids, just because it was so different from our other tapes and fun to listen to - but it still included good, godly principles in each of the songs. Unfortunately it appears that they are no longer making this one, but you never know, someone might decide to re-release it someday.
And that, my friends, is my "Bible Music For Kids" resource list. What kind of songs did you listen to when you were a child? Do you think they influenced you even as you grew up?
It's so refreshing to know that most of these are still available to buy. Makes me want to search for other items from my childhood before they all disappear.
Maybe I'll have to do another one of these posts on children's books . . .
Note: Once again, this is possibly a "too much information" post, and it's intended for female readers, especially those who are married. If you are a kid or a male reader, please skip this post. You've now been sufficiently warned.
Also please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I'm just summarizing some of the research I've done. Please consult your medical professionals with concerns. These posts include information as well as my opinions based on research I've done and are for your information only. They are not intended to replace proper medical diagnosis or treatment.
Someone recently asked me to explain how I monitor my fertility signs, and that led to yesterday's post on the Fertility Awareness Method. So if you haven't read that post, you might want to start there, and this post will make alot more sense.
Also, I'd like to redirect you to what got me started doing FAM over a year ago. At the time I was taking the birth control pill, and I learned some disturbing information that every woman taking the pill should be aware of, especially if you're pro-life. Please see my post "Important Information You Might Not Know" for more about that.
So let's jump right back into it, shall we?
Some Additional Signs Of Ovulation
There are a couple other signs that you may or may not notice around ovulation:
1. Ovulatory pain. Sometimes you'll get one-sided pain as your ovary releases an egg.
2. Ovulatory spotting. Sometimes you'll get a little spotting right around the time of ovulation, but it should only last a day or two, and it should be extremely light.
3. Anything really. The more you chart your cycles and are aware of when you ovulate, the more you may notice some signs that are unique to you. If you notice anything out of the ordinary around the time of ovulation, make a note of it on your chart - it may be a helpful clue for future cycles.
Charting
You should be recording your signs on a chart for easy reference later. You'll want to be able to look back on previous charts to see if you can identify a pattern, or if something isn't functioning properly you want to have the information at your fingertips so you can talk about it with your doctor. Plus for the temperature rise you often have to have it spelled out in front of you before you can see it.
The Bump's version of a fertility chart (Resource 1) is one chart that I have used in the past. After a while of dealing with confusing cycles, I actually bought a computer program that helps with charting your cycles (see Resource 2), and that's been helpful for me as well. There's a web-based version (Resource 3) of the software that is free, but it wasn't working properly when I tried it - they may have improved it since then. There are lots of different charts out there if you search for "Fertility Charts". Just pick the one you are most comfortable with and go for it.
Here's an example of a way to chart - you'll notice the different rows to record different signs. The chart should also include a row for you to record when you have intercourse, even though this one doesn't have that row.
For more information on charting, please see "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler (Resource 4). It has alot of good information on proper charting, and it also addresses special situations and how to interpret your chart correctly.
Menstrual Cycle Myth That You Should Know
You do not always ovulate on Day 14. In fact, many women do not ever ovulate on Day 14. So if you ovulate before then, that's perfectly fine. If you're on Day 22 of your menstrual cycle and you still haven't ovulated, that's perfectly fine. The beauty of this method is that you can actually know the precise day that you do ovulate, so when your doctor is all confused at how far along you are, you can let them know why (and they will be confused - doctors always expect you to ovulate on Day 14, even though they should know better).
Maybe I'm just a control freak, but I just like knowing. Every woman should know her body, and know her cycles - it does bring about a sense of control over things, as well as peace of mind, because you know what's going on with your body.
Plus, if you just assume that you'll ovulate on Day 14 and plan accordingly, you may totally miss your window of opportunity, or have a surprise and wonder how that happened. With this method you can know what's really going on.
If we had been planning on a Day 14 ovulation, we wouldn't be pregnant right now (I ovulated on Day 7). I wouldn't have expected to ovulate that early, but I was watching my signs, and I just had a feeling this was the real deal - and it was. And the Lord blessed us with this sweet baby.
When Things Aren't Working Right
If you start charting and things just aren't coming up right, it can be super-frustrating. Trust me, I know. It's even more frustrating if you're trying to get pregnant, because things need to be working right for that to happen.
A couple notes:
1. You can have bleeding even if you're not ovulating, but this doesn't qualify as a normal period, because a true period is always preceded by ovulation.
If you are having continuous bleeding, or very short lengths of time between periods, I'd recommend seeing a fertility doctor. Your body shouldn't be doing that, even if you just went off the pill. I'd recommend seeing a doctor you trust or a fertility specialist (because fertility specialists are more familiar with the way things can go wrong and the proper treatment than regular gynecologists are - at least that's been my experience).
2. You can have all the signs of ovulation and not actually ovulate - that's why it's important to chart all your signs. A shift in temperature or lack thereof, will confirm whether or not you really ovulated.
3. It's okay to be pro-active. If you haven't ovulated within 6 months of going off the pill, I say call up a fertility specialist and get going. I know they say if you're young, you don't qualify as infertile until you've been trying for a year - but if you're young, you shouldn't be gong six months without ovulating either. Your doctor might look at you weird at first, but stick to your guns, tell them why you think something's wrong, and don't let them make you feel weird about seeing them about your concerns. At this point you know your body, and it's not normal to go that long without ovulating. There's a little pep-talk for you.
Some Encouragement For When Things Aren't Working Right
1. You can ovulate any day. Even if you haven't had a period on months, you can ovulate on any day. Don't give up hope, be pro-active, and keep monitoring those signs.
2. Nothing is impossible with God. There is nothing He can't do, and miracles happen every day. If you've gone many months without ovulating it can be easy to get so discouraged that you throw in the towel, or have doubts about the Lord's plan - but He always has a plan. He always has plans to prosper you and not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). The fear comes when you're worried that His plans might not match up with your plans - but His plans are always better, even if we never understand the reason why. And He always works things out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
3. The Bible tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). It says that He will withhold no good thing from those walk uprightly, seek the Lord, and fear Him (Psalm 84:11, Psalm 34:10, Matthew 6:33). It also says that when two or more are gathered together in His name, He is there with them, and if two people on earth agree about anything that they ask the Lord, it will be done for them (Matthew 18:19-20).
The point of those verses - pray about it with your hubby! Pray as a couple that the Lord will grant you a child, and know that His plans are always better than our plans.
Cast your cares on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7), and then let it be. Trust in him fully, stop worrying, and you'll feel so much more at peace, with the kind of peace that only the Lord can give. Waiting and trusting in the Lord with a peaceful mind is a much better place to be than constantly worrying. And interestingly, if your more stressed you're more likely to have difficulty getting pregnant (Resource 5), so trusting the Lord is just better all the way around, for mind and body and babies.
Give it over to Him, and then let Him handle it. And know that I'm praying for you (ie. any of my followers who may be trying - and let me know if you want to and I'll add your specific name to my prayer list - I'd love to pray for you by name).
Some Closing Thoughts
There are so many benefits to using FAM, but one of the benefits that you may not expect when you first start out is increased appreciation for God's creation. When you think of creation, you tend to think of mountains and trees and oceans, but His creation includes our bodies.
Every time I go over this information again, I'm just struck with how perfectly the Lord designed our bodies. He designed it so that at the time of the month when you can get pregnant the sperm have a nice environment to live in, nice fluid to travel in, plus a nice lube to get the process of getting sperm in there easier. He designed it so that at the time that you can get pregnant, the sperm have an open path into your uterus and to your tubes. He designed it so at the moment that you may get pregnant, your body is already preparing a nice, warm environment to grow a baby in.
He certainly prepared everything perfectly so that we can fulfill His command to be fruitful and multiply. How anyone can look at the intricacies and perfect design of the reproductive process and not know there is a Creator is beyond me.
I guess that's why I like science and biology so much - every cell points to our Creator, and it never fails to leave me more in awe of Him. I hope you leave this series of posts with a renewed appreciation for the wonderful power of our Lord (and maybe a little motivation to get to know this aspect of His Creation better)!
Resources:
1. Fertility Chart, TheBump.com. http://images.thenestbaby.com/tools/pdfs/fertility_chart.pdf
2. Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software. www.tcoyf.com. I paid $40 for the software. Click here for a free 15 day trial of the software.
3. TCOYFweb, Web-based charting system. http://www.tcoyf.com/content/ApplicationDownload.aspx Still in the testing phase.
4. Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, Copyright 2002, 1995.
5. High Stress Levels May Delay A Woman Getting Pregnant, Study Suggests. August 17, 2010, Sciencedaily.com. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100817111658.htm Study performed by University of Oxford.
Also please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I'm just summarizing some of the research I've done. Please consult your medical professionals with concerns. These posts include information as well as my opinions based on research I've done and are for your information only. They are not intended to replace proper medical diagnosis or treatment.
Someone recently asked me to explain how I monitor my fertility signs, and that led to yesterday's post on the Fertility Awareness Method. So if you haven't read that post, you might want to start there, and this post will make alot more sense.
Also, I'd like to redirect you to what got me started doing FAM over a year ago. At the time I was taking the birth control pill, and I learned some disturbing information that every woman taking the pill should be aware of, especially if you're pro-life. Please see my post "Important Information You Might Not Know" for more about that.
So let's jump right back into it, shall we?
Some Additional Signs Of Ovulation
There are a couple other signs that you may or may not notice around ovulation:
1. Ovulatory pain. Sometimes you'll get one-sided pain as your ovary releases an egg.
2. Ovulatory spotting. Sometimes you'll get a little spotting right around the time of ovulation, but it should only last a day or two, and it should be extremely light.
3. Anything really. The more you chart your cycles and are aware of when you ovulate, the more you may notice some signs that are unique to you. If you notice anything out of the ordinary around the time of ovulation, make a note of it on your chart - it may be a helpful clue for future cycles.
Charting
You should be recording your signs on a chart for easy reference later. You'll want to be able to look back on previous charts to see if you can identify a pattern, or if something isn't functioning properly you want to have the information at your fingertips so you can talk about it with your doctor. Plus for the temperature rise you often have to have it spelled out in front of you before you can see it.
The Bump's version of a fertility chart (Resource 1) is one chart that I have used in the past. After a while of dealing with confusing cycles, I actually bought a computer program that helps with charting your cycles (see Resource 2), and that's been helpful for me as well. There's a web-based version (Resource 3) of the software that is free, but it wasn't working properly when I tried it - they may have improved it since then. There are lots of different charts out there if you search for "Fertility Charts". Just pick the one you are most comfortable with and go for it.
Here's an example of a way to chart - you'll notice the different rows to record different signs. The chart should also include a row for you to record when you have intercourse, even though this one doesn't have that row.
For more information on charting, please see "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler (Resource 4). It has alot of good information on proper charting, and it also addresses special situations and how to interpret your chart correctly.
Menstrual Cycle Myth That You Should Know
You do not always ovulate on Day 14. In fact, many women do not ever ovulate on Day 14. So if you ovulate before then, that's perfectly fine. If you're on Day 22 of your menstrual cycle and you still haven't ovulated, that's perfectly fine. The beauty of this method is that you can actually know the precise day that you do ovulate, so when your doctor is all confused at how far along you are, you can let them know why (and they will be confused - doctors always expect you to ovulate on Day 14, even though they should know better).
Maybe I'm just a control freak, but I just like knowing. Every woman should know her body, and know her cycles - it does bring about a sense of control over things, as well as peace of mind, because you know what's going on with your body.
Plus, if you just assume that you'll ovulate on Day 14 and plan accordingly, you may totally miss your window of opportunity, or have a surprise and wonder how that happened. With this method you can know what's really going on.
If we had been planning on a Day 14 ovulation, we wouldn't be pregnant right now (I ovulated on Day 7). I wouldn't have expected to ovulate that early, but I was watching my signs, and I just had a feeling this was the real deal - and it was. And the Lord blessed us with this sweet baby.
When Things Aren't Working Right
If you start charting and things just aren't coming up right, it can be super-frustrating. Trust me, I know. It's even more frustrating if you're trying to get pregnant, because things need to be working right for that to happen.
A couple notes:
1. You can have bleeding even if you're not ovulating, but this doesn't qualify as a normal period, because a true period is always preceded by ovulation.
If you are having continuous bleeding, or very short lengths of time between periods, I'd recommend seeing a fertility doctor. Your body shouldn't be doing that, even if you just went off the pill. I'd recommend seeing a doctor you trust or a fertility specialist (because fertility specialists are more familiar with the way things can go wrong and the proper treatment than regular gynecologists are - at least that's been my experience).
2. You can have all the signs of ovulation and not actually ovulate - that's why it's important to chart all your signs. A shift in temperature or lack thereof, will confirm whether or not you really ovulated.
3. It's okay to be pro-active. If you haven't ovulated within 6 months of going off the pill, I say call up a fertility specialist and get going. I know they say if you're young, you don't qualify as infertile until you've been trying for a year - but if you're young, you shouldn't be gong six months without ovulating either. Your doctor might look at you weird at first, but stick to your guns, tell them why you think something's wrong, and don't let them make you feel weird about seeing them about your concerns. At this point you know your body, and it's not normal to go that long without ovulating. There's a little pep-talk for you.
Some Encouragement For When Things Aren't Working Right
1. You can ovulate any day. Even if you haven't had a period on months, you can ovulate on any day. Don't give up hope, be pro-active, and keep monitoring those signs.
2. Nothing is impossible with God. There is nothing He can't do, and miracles happen every day. If you've gone many months without ovulating it can be easy to get so discouraged that you throw in the towel, or have doubts about the Lord's plan - but He always has a plan. He always has plans to prosper you and not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). The fear comes when you're worried that His plans might not match up with your plans - but His plans are always better, even if we never understand the reason why. And He always works things out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
3. The Bible tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). It says that He will withhold no good thing from those walk uprightly, seek the Lord, and fear Him (Psalm 84:11, Psalm 34:10, Matthew 6:33). It also says that when two or more are gathered together in His name, He is there with them, and if two people on earth agree about anything that they ask the Lord, it will be done for them (Matthew 18:19-20).
The point of those verses - pray about it with your hubby! Pray as a couple that the Lord will grant you a child, and know that His plans are always better than our plans.
Cast your cares on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7), and then let it be. Trust in him fully, stop worrying, and you'll feel so much more at peace, with the kind of peace that only the Lord can give. Waiting and trusting in the Lord with a peaceful mind is a much better place to be than constantly worrying. And interestingly, if your more stressed you're more likely to have difficulty getting pregnant (Resource 5), so trusting the Lord is just better all the way around, for mind and body and babies.
Give it over to Him, and then let Him handle it. And know that I'm praying for you (ie. any of my followers who may be trying - and let me know if you want to and I'll add your specific name to my prayer list - I'd love to pray for you by name).
Some Closing Thoughts
There are so many benefits to using FAM, but one of the benefits that you may not expect when you first start out is increased appreciation for God's creation. When you think of creation, you tend to think of mountains and trees and oceans, but His creation includes our bodies.
Every time I go over this information again, I'm just struck with how perfectly the Lord designed our bodies. He designed it so that at the time of the month when you can get pregnant the sperm have a nice environment to live in, nice fluid to travel in, plus a nice lube to get the process of getting sperm in there easier. He designed it so that at the time that you can get pregnant, the sperm have an open path into your uterus and to your tubes. He designed it so at the moment that you may get pregnant, your body is already preparing a nice, warm environment to grow a baby in.
He certainly prepared everything perfectly so that we can fulfill His command to be fruitful and multiply. How anyone can look at the intricacies and perfect design of the reproductive process and not know there is a Creator is beyond me.
I guess that's why I like science and biology so much - every cell points to our Creator, and it never fails to leave me more in awe of Him. I hope you leave this series of posts with a renewed appreciation for the wonderful power of our Lord (and maybe a little motivation to get to know this aspect of His Creation better)!
Resources:
1. Fertility Chart, TheBump.com. http://images.thenestbaby.com/tools/pdfs/fertility_chart.pdf
2. Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software. www.tcoyf.com. I paid $40 for the software. Click here for a free 15 day trial of the software.
3. TCOYFweb, Web-based charting system. http://www.tcoyf.com/content/ApplicationDownload.aspx Still in the testing phase.
4. Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, Copyright 2002, 1995.
5. High Stress Levels May Delay A Woman Getting Pregnant, Study Suggests. August 17, 2010, Sciencedaily.com. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100817111658.htm Study performed by University of Oxford.
Note: This post is possibly of the "too much information" variety, and it's directed toward female readers, especially those that are married. It's really not for kiddies or males to read, so if you are a kid or a male, go ahead and skip this post. Okay, you've been sufficiently warned.
Also please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I'm just summarizing some of the research I've done. Please consult your medical professionals with concerns. These posts include information as well as my opinions based on research I've done and are for your information only. They are not intended to replace proper medical diagnosis or treatment.
I recently had a request to explain how I monitor my fertility signs, and I thought, well, why not do a blog post on the subject? I haven't really talked about this since last year, and it's good information for any woman to know. Whether you're trying for a baby, trying not to have a baby, or haven't even thought about this before, if you're a woman with menstrual cycles, you should know this stuff.
I'd like to say right here that I got most of this information from a book called "Taking Charge Of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. If you are interested in using FAM, you should definitely read this book - it addresses proper charting, special situations, and more information on how to use FAM for a natural method of birth control. I'm just going to present you with the basic information in my own words here, but you all should really read the book. I'm not an expert, she is - I'm just giving you a summary.
So here we go.
Background Information
A little background first: Derek and I started using the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) last year after we went off the pill. If you have never read that post, you should read it. It explains why Derek and I decided to go off the pill, and why we will never go on it again, and honestly, doctors should be telling any woman this before prescribing the pill, especially if they know you're pro-life. Okay, I'll get off that soap box now.
Anyway, we initially used FAM to try not to get pregnant, but once it became apparent that I may not be able to get pregnant, we decided to start trying for a baby. Then we started using the FAM method to get pregnant, and if I didn't know this stuff, it would have been very easy to miss our opportunity.
If my dear friend Amber did not tell me about the pill last year, and then tell me about the FAM method, we would not have this sweet child that we do now, so if I've never said it before, thanks Amber.
The Basics
So without further ado, I now pass the information on to you, my dear blogging buddies. I know alot of you already know this stuff, but just in case some of you don't.
Okay, let's talk about the basics first (I know you all know the basics, but just so we're on the same page). In order to get pregnant, two things have to happen: (1) Your body must release an egg from one of your two ovaries, and (2) the sperm must travel through the cervical fluid and join with the egg. Then (bam!) you have a baby.
There's a few numbers that the FAM method is based from. First, the egg can only be fertilized for the first twenty-four hours after it is released. Second, sperm can live inside your system for 3-5 days (closer to 3, but up to 5). Third, the sperm must be in your system for a certain period of time in order to be able to fertilize the egg (the process is called capacitation - see Resource 1). I don't think they've actually proven the exact amount of time it takes for sperm to become capacitated, but it generally takes several hours.
With this information, the thought is that if you can abstain from sex or use some other form of birth control for the 5 days before you ovulate and the 2-3 days after, you will most likely not get pregnant. Inversely, if you want to get pregnant, you should time sex to coincide with your fertile time, particularly the 3 days before you ovulate (because remember, the egg is only good for 24 hours at the most after it is released, and the sperm have to be in your system for several hours in order to fertilize the egg).
So the trick is to know when exactly you ovulate, and how do you know that? I'm so glad you asked!
Your body gives you several observable signs to let you know when you are fertile and when you've ovulated. The main ones are (1) a shift in basal body temperature, (2) a change in the consistency of your cervical fluid, and (3) changes in your cervix.
Shift In Temperature
After the egg is released the corpus luteum (which was previously encasing the egg) releases a hormone called progesterone which prepares your body for a potential pregnancy. One of the effects of this rise in progesterone is that your basal body temperature will rise. It’s usually pretty subtle, by 5/10ths of a degree or so. If you take your temperatures daily, you'll see an upward shift in your temperatures after you've ovulated, and your temperatures will stay up until you have your period. If you get pregnant, they'll stay up until you have the baby.
Here's an example a temperature shift in an ovulation cycle, and this is also a pregnancy chart. You'll notice how the temperature stays up well past the 14 days . . .
How To Check It: Your basal body temperature is your temperature at rest. You determine your basal body temperature by using a basal body thermometer (which has smaller graduations of measurement) to take your temperature directly after waking up in the morning, before you get out of bed or move or speak (because too much movement or speech can throw it off).
You should try to take it at the same time every morning. I take mine at 4:45 AM, which sounds really early, but that's when I have to get up on the days that I work, and during the rest of the week I still take it at 4:45 AM and go back to sleep afterward. You should also try to get at least 3 hours of continuous sleep before taking your temperature, to ensure that your body is completely at rest.
Lots of people think that this would be impossible to do every morning, but once you get into the habit of it, it's no big deal. I don't even think about it anymore - the alarm goes off, I reach for my thermometer, snooze while the thermometer is computing, look at the temperature, go back to sleep. Easy as pie. After three weeks of temping you'll be there too.
Once your temperature goes up, you'll get your period in about 12-14 days after that. If you don't and your temperature stays up for 18 consecutive days, you're most likely pregnant.
Temperature charting lets you know that you've ovulated after the fact. The main benefit of charting your temperature is to determine whether you did, in fact, ovulate, and it also gives you a heads up of when your period is coming (or not coming). This is especially helpful for people with irregular cycles, like myself, It's also great for determining if your body is actually functioning properly.
If you are just going off the pill, don't be surprised if your temperature chart looks like a bunch of spikes. For several months after I went off the pill, my temperatures kept going up and down every couple of days. My chart looked like a mountain range. It'll probably take a little while for you body to normalize, but charting can also tell you if you're not ovulating.
Charting alone, however, will not help you get pregnant or prevent pregnancy in any given cycle, because as I said before, it doesn't let you know you've ovulated until after the fact. By the time your temperature actually goes up the egg is already dead and gone, or you're already pregnant. The next two signs are the ones you really want to pay attention to, because they let you know when ovulation is imminent.
Change In Cervical Fluid
You all know what I'm talking about with this one, whether you realize it yet or not. Your body produces cervical fluid, and it produces it in different amounts at different points in your cycle. Cervical fluid can range from white and sticky to clear and watery, and it changes in consistency the closer you are to ovulation.
Cervical fluid has different functions, the most important one for our purposes being that it allows sperm to live inside you and travel to the egg. If your cervical fluid is thick and sticky and white, the sperm can't live in that. They can only live in the clear, watery variety.
It's amazing how perfectly the Lord has designed our bodies. The closer you are to ovulating, the more fertile your cervical fluid becomes. Fertile cervical fluid is of an egg-white consistency, clear, watery, and it peaks right around the day you ovulate - so you'll get lots of wet cervical fluid. You know how sometimes in the middle of the month you get that gush of something, and you run to the bathroom to check, and your underwear are just wet? That would be it, and (aha!) that would be the day to try for a baby.
If you can monitor the consistency of your cervical fluid, you can know when you're about to ovulate, and you can plan accordingly. Keep in mind that you can have the fertile cervical fluid 1-3 days before the day you ovulate as well, so if you're trying not to get pregnant, you should do something else on those days. If you are trying to get pregnant, make sure you take advantage of those days. Either way, you need to be checking this sign, because it's the most important one for both groups. This one is not optional, it's vital.
How To Check It: You can check your cervical fluid either by taking charge and reaching in for a sample, or just by wiping with toilet paper and seeing what you got.
Alright, enough said about that.
Changes In Your Cervix
This sign is optional, but it can be nice to have a third confirmation of the other two signs. It's also the most awkward to describe and the most difficult to understand.
Your cervix is the lowest part of your uterus, and you can actually feel it with your fingers. It feels like a small, round protrusion, with a small dent in the middle. You want to check for three things - firmness, openness, and position.
When you get close to ovulating, your cervix becomes softer, more open, and higher (to allow for sperm to enter easily so they can reach the egg). When you are not fertile (example: after you ovulate) your cervix will feel firm, low and closed.
The change in firmness is subtle - "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" describes it as the difference between touching your nose and touching your lips. The small dent in the middle is the opening to your cervix, and it will feel more open the closer you are to ovulating. You'll also notice through consistent checking that your cervix will be higher the closer to ovulating, and lower after ovulation.
How To Check It: The cervix is rather awkward to check, because you need to reach a finger inside of yourself and try to find it. You should also make sure your standing in the same position each time you check, because the way you stand affects it's position. Make sure your hands are clean.
It's going to take you a while to figure this one out, and if the whole thing just sounds scary, just skip this one. It's not entirely necessary, especially if you have regular cycles. But if you have crazy cycles, or you don't think you're ovulating, it might be a good idea to check it. It just gives you more information to use to estimate ovulation.
This one just takes alot of practice, and if you're totally overwhelmed and freaked out about checking it, just skip this one.
To Be Continued
Those are the three main signs you want to monitoring with FAM. Now you know the basics; tomorrow I'll post some additional information you should know about a couple other signs you may have, some resources, and some information on when things aren't functioning properly.
Note: You can use FAM for birth control or to increase your chances of conceiving in any given cycle. Plus it's just good to know what's going on with your body. If you perform FAM properly, it is just as effective as the birth control pill in preventing pregnancy - a 99.5% success rate (see Resource 4). I didn't address the proper way to use FAM for birth control in this post, so if you would like more information on that, please look into Resources 2-4, listed below.
Resources:
1. Medical Dictionary by The Free Medical Dictionary. Definition of Sperm Capacitation. http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sperm+capacitation
2. Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, Copyright 2002, 1995.
3. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility Website. http://www.tcoyf.com/.
4. Frank -Hermann, P.; Heil, J.; Gnoth, C.; Toledo, E; Baur, S.; Pyper, C.; Jenetzky, e.; Strowitzki, T.; Freundl, G. The Effectiveness Of A Fertility Awareness Based Method To Avoid Pregnancy In Relation To A Couple's Sexual Behavior During The Fertile Time: A Prospective Longitudinal Study. February 20, 2007. http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/dem003v1.
Also please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I'm just summarizing some of the research I've done. Please consult your medical professionals with concerns. These posts include information as well as my opinions based on research I've done and are for your information only. They are not intended to replace proper medical diagnosis or treatment.
I recently had a request to explain how I monitor my fertility signs, and I thought, well, why not do a blog post on the subject? I haven't really talked about this since last year, and it's good information for any woman to know. Whether you're trying for a baby, trying not to have a baby, or haven't even thought about this before, if you're a woman with menstrual cycles, you should know this stuff.
I'd like to say right here that I got most of this information from a book called "Taking Charge Of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. If you are interested in using FAM, you should definitely read this book - it addresses proper charting, special situations, and more information on how to use FAM for a natural method of birth control. I'm just going to present you with the basic information in my own words here, but you all should really read the book. I'm not an expert, she is - I'm just giving you a summary.
So here we go.
Background Information
A little background first: Derek and I started using the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) last year after we went off the pill. If you have never read that post, you should read it. It explains why Derek and I decided to go off the pill, and why we will never go on it again, and honestly, doctors should be telling any woman this before prescribing the pill, especially if they know you're pro-life. Okay, I'll get off that soap box now.
Anyway, we initially used FAM to try not to get pregnant, but once it became apparent that I may not be able to get pregnant, we decided to start trying for a baby. Then we started using the FAM method to get pregnant, and if I didn't know this stuff, it would have been very easy to miss our opportunity.
If my dear friend Amber did not tell me about the pill last year, and then tell me about the FAM method, we would not have this sweet child that we do now, so if I've never said it before, thanks Amber.
The Basics
So without further ado, I now pass the information on to you, my dear blogging buddies. I know alot of you already know this stuff, but just in case some of you don't.
Okay, let's talk about the basics first (I know you all know the basics, but just so we're on the same page). In order to get pregnant, two things have to happen: (1) Your body must release an egg from one of your two ovaries, and (2) the sperm must travel through the cervical fluid and join with the egg. Then (bam!) you have a baby.
There's a few numbers that the FAM method is based from. First, the egg can only be fertilized for the first twenty-four hours after it is released. Second, sperm can live inside your system for 3-5 days (closer to 3, but up to 5). Third, the sperm must be in your system for a certain period of time in order to be able to fertilize the egg (the process is called capacitation - see Resource 1). I don't think they've actually proven the exact amount of time it takes for sperm to become capacitated, but it generally takes several hours.
With this information, the thought is that if you can abstain from sex or use some other form of birth control for the 5 days before you ovulate and the 2-3 days after, you will most likely not get pregnant. Inversely, if you want to get pregnant, you should time sex to coincide with your fertile time, particularly the 3 days before you ovulate (because remember, the egg is only good for 24 hours at the most after it is released, and the sperm have to be in your system for several hours in order to fertilize the egg).
So the trick is to know when exactly you ovulate, and how do you know that? I'm so glad you asked!
Your body gives you several observable signs to let you know when you are fertile and when you've ovulated. The main ones are (1) a shift in basal body temperature, (2) a change in the consistency of your cervical fluid, and (3) changes in your cervix.
Shift In Temperature
After the egg is released the corpus luteum (which was previously encasing the egg) releases a hormone called progesterone which prepares your body for a potential pregnancy. One of the effects of this rise in progesterone is that your basal body temperature will rise. It’s usually pretty subtle, by 5/10ths of a degree or so. If you take your temperatures daily, you'll see an upward shift in your temperatures after you've ovulated, and your temperatures will stay up until you have your period. If you get pregnant, they'll stay up until you have the baby.
Here's an example a temperature shift in an ovulation cycle, and this is also a pregnancy chart. You'll notice how the temperature stays up well past the 14 days . . .
How To Check It: Your basal body temperature is your temperature at rest. You determine your basal body temperature by using a basal body thermometer (which has smaller graduations of measurement) to take your temperature directly after waking up in the morning, before you get out of bed or move or speak (because too much movement or speech can throw it off).
You should try to take it at the same time every morning. I take mine at 4:45 AM, which sounds really early, but that's when I have to get up on the days that I work, and during the rest of the week I still take it at 4:45 AM and go back to sleep afterward. You should also try to get at least 3 hours of continuous sleep before taking your temperature, to ensure that your body is completely at rest.
Lots of people think that this would be impossible to do every morning, but once you get into the habit of it, it's no big deal. I don't even think about it anymore - the alarm goes off, I reach for my thermometer, snooze while the thermometer is computing, look at the temperature, go back to sleep. Easy as pie. After three weeks of temping you'll be there too.
Once your temperature goes up, you'll get your period in about 12-14 days after that. If you don't and your temperature stays up for 18 consecutive days, you're most likely pregnant.
Temperature charting lets you know that you've ovulated after the fact. The main benefit of charting your temperature is to determine whether you did, in fact, ovulate, and it also gives you a heads up of when your period is coming (or not coming). This is especially helpful for people with irregular cycles, like myself, It's also great for determining if your body is actually functioning properly.
If you are just going off the pill, don't be surprised if your temperature chart looks like a bunch of spikes. For several months after I went off the pill, my temperatures kept going up and down every couple of days. My chart looked like a mountain range. It'll probably take a little while for you body to normalize, but charting can also tell you if you're not ovulating.
Charting alone, however, will not help you get pregnant or prevent pregnancy in any given cycle, because as I said before, it doesn't let you know you've ovulated until after the fact. By the time your temperature actually goes up the egg is already dead and gone, or you're already pregnant. The next two signs are the ones you really want to pay attention to, because they let you know when ovulation is imminent.
Change In Cervical Fluid
You all know what I'm talking about with this one, whether you realize it yet or not. Your body produces cervical fluid, and it produces it in different amounts at different points in your cycle. Cervical fluid can range from white and sticky to clear and watery, and it changes in consistency the closer you are to ovulation.
Cervical fluid has different functions, the most important one for our purposes being that it allows sperm to live inside you and travel to the egg. If your cervical fluid is thick and sticky and white, the sperm can't live in that. They can only live in the clear, watery variety.
It's amazing how perfectly the Lord has designed our bodies. The closer you are to ovulating, the more fertile your cervical fluid becomes. Fertile cervical fluid is of an egg-white consistency, clear, watery, and it peaks right around the day you ovulate - so you'll get lots of wet cervical fluid. You know how sometimes in the middle of the month you get that gush of something, and you run to the bathroom to check, and your underwear are just wet? That would be it, and (aha!) that would be the day to try for a baby.
If you can monitor the consistency of your cervical fluid, you can know when you're about to ovulate, and you can plan accordingly. Keep in mind that you can have the fertile cervical fluid 1-3 days before the day you ovulate as well, so if you're trying not to get pregnant, you should do something else on those days. If you are trying to get pregnant, make sure you take advantage of those days. Either way, you need to be checking this sign, because it's the most important one for both groups. This one is not optional, it's vital.
How To Check It: You can check your cervical fluid either by taking charge and reaching in for a sample, or just by wiping with toilet paper and seeing what you got.
Alright, enough said about that.
Changes In Your Cervix
This sign is optional, but it can be nice to have a third confirmation of the other two signs. It's also the most awkward to describe and the most difficult to understand.
Your cervix is the lowest part of your uterus, and you can actually feel it with your fingers. It feels like a small, round protrusion, with a small dent in the middle. You want to check for three things - firmness, openness, and position.
When you get close to ovulating, your cervix becomes softer, more open, and higher (to allow for sperm to enter easily so they can reach the egg). When you are not fertile (example: after you ovulate) your cervix will feel firm, low and closed.
The change in firmness is subtle - "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" describes it as the difference between touching your nose and touching your lips. The small dent in the middle is the opening to your cervix, and it will feel more open the closer you are to ovulating. You'll also notice through consistent checking that your cervix will be higher the closer to ovulating, and lower after ovulation.
How To Check It: The cervix is rather awkward to check, because you need to reach a finger inside of yourself and try to find it. You should also make sure your standing in the same position each time you check, because the way you stand affects it's position. Make sure your hands are clean.
It's going to take you a while to figure this one out, and if the whole thing just sounds scary, just skip this one. It's not entirely necessary, especially if you have regular cycles. But if you have crazy cycles, or you don't think you're ovulating, it might be a good idea to check it. It just gives you more information to use to estimate ovulation.
This one just takes alot of practice, and if you're totally overwhelmed and freaked out about checking it, just skip this one.
To Be Continued
Those are the three main signs you want to monitoring with FAM. Now you know the basics; tomorrow I'll post some additional information you should know about a couple other signs you may have, some resources, and some information on when things aren't functioning properly.
Note: You can use FAM for birth control or to increase your chances of conceiving in any given cycle. Plus it's just good to know what's going on with your body. If you perform FAM properly, it is just as effective as the birth control pill in preventing pregnancy - a 99.5% success rate (see Resource 4). I didn't address the proper way to use FAM for birth control in this post, so if you would like more information on that, please look into Resources 2-4, listed below.
Resources:
1. Medical Dictionary by The Free Medical Dictionary. Definition of Sperm Capacitation. http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sperm+capacitation
2. Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, Copyright 2002, 1995.
3. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility Website. http://www.tcoyf.com/.
4. Frank -Hermann, P.; Heil, J.; Gnoth, C.; Toledo, E; Baur, S.; Pyper, C.; Jenetzky, e.; Strowitzki, T.; Freundl, G. The Effectiveness Of A Fertility Awareness Based Method To Avoid Pregnancy In Relation To A Couple's Sexual Behavior During The Fertile Time: A Prospective Longitudinal Study. February 20, 2007. http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/dem003v1.
I was reading in Matthew the other day, and I came across this verse:
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word that men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words your words you will be condemned."
Matthew 12:35-37
That's a pretty scary passage - I shudder to think of the words I will have to give account for on the day of judgement. I'll be forgiven for them, because Jesus' blood covers all my sins, including my words, but I'd rather keep the list of things to account for short, wouldn't you?
It's so easy to say things we shouldn't. When you're angry especially, but I'm not talking about just that. Notice the verse doesn't say that you will give account of just every hurtful word, or every word spoken in anger. It says we will give account of every idle word.
I think that includes the times when we inadvertently say something hurtful, or don't think about the other person's feelings. The times that we let something slip that we shouldn't have. The times when we don't say as much as we should, or don't speak up when we should. All the times that we don't think before we speak.
See what I mean? That's scary.
Thank the Lord that even though we may have to give an account of every sin at the day of judgement, for those of us who are Christians, our Lord Jesus will step in. We may feel unworthy, because we are, but all He'll have to do is to reach out His hands and remind us again that He died to pay for that - and we'll never have to think about those sins again. His blood has already washed them away, and He claimed us as His children from the beginning of time.
What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
-Robert Lowry, from the hymn Nothing But The Blood Of Jesus
"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word that men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words your words you will be condemned."
Matthew 12:35-37
That's a pretty scary passage - I shudder to think of the words I will have to give account for on the day of judgement. I'll be forgiven for them, because Jesus' blood covers all my sins, including my words, but I'd rather keep the list of things to account for short, wouldn't you?
It's so easy to say things we shouldn't. When you're angry especially, but I'm not talking about just that. Notice the verse doesn't say that you will give account of just every hurtful word, or every word spoken in anger. It says we will give account of every idle word.
I think that includes the times when we inadvertently say something hurtful, or don't think about the other person's feelings. The times that we let something slip that we shouldn't have. The times when we don't say as much as we should, or don't speak up when we should. All the times that we don't think before we speak.
See what I mean? That's scary.
Thank the Lord that even though we may have to give an account of every sin at the day of judgement, for those of us who are Christians, our Lord Jesus will step in. We may feel unworthy, because we are, but all He'll have to do is to reach out His hands and remind us again that He died to pay for that - and we'll never have to think about those sins again. His blood has already washed them away, and He claimed us as His children from the beginning of time.
What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
-Robert Lowry, from the hymn Nothing But The Blood Of Jesus
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