17 hours ago
I just finished reading Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure Of Finding Mom Friends by Melanie Dale. I think it’s funny that I have read two different friendship books so close together (the other was Heart Sisters), because it gives me a chance to compare them. If Heart Sisters was a guide to deepening your friendships, I think this would be more of a guide to forming friendships. Dale takes you through that awkward first phase when you know nothing about each other with humorous tips on how to take your “mom dating” friendships to the next level.
I think the subtitle does describe some of my feelings about this book pretty well - I felt like much of it was awkward. Dale uses a dating, first-base, second-base, etc. metaphor to describe the different stages of forming friendships with other moms. That was just an awkward comparison to me to start with, and Dale’s sense of humor thrives on awkward, so the awkwardness was just emphasized. If you like that kind of humor, you probably would love this book. For me, I thought the dating comparisons bordered on inappropriate at times, especially in today’s world where references to homosexuality abound. She wasn’t suggesting anything of the sort in the actual meat of this book, but that’s why I found it hard to relax and enjoy reading it. Plus, I’m just not a potty-humor kind of person, and those jokes are prevalent. Dale self-identifies as “gross”, so you can get an idea of some of the humor.
That said, I did think a lot of the situations and movie references in the book were funny! I thought there were many useful tips and inspirations for making friends scattered throughout, as well as just commonsense advice about how to handle certain difficult situations with friends. Her stories were hilarious, and if you have ever had an awkward friendship moment, you can read this book and know you are not alone. It made me think about and appreciate the friends I have who have stuck with me through all these stages, and it was good inspiration to put the effort in with some ladies I haven’t known as long. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend this book just because of some of the humor, but it kept me interested and I did enjoy it.
Note: I received a copy of this book for free from BookLook in exchange for this review - this is my honest opinion.
Do you have one of those friends who will always stand by you - who you just know will be a friend all your life because you have gone through the ups and downs together? Someone who will challenge you, tell you the truth in love, and be the first one to offer help when you need it?
Natalie Chambers Snapp calls this kinds of friends “heart sisters” in her book by the same name. I think most people are lucky to have one or two of those kinds of friends in their lifetime, but you can greatly increase your chance of having a “heart sister” if you learn how to be one first. Snapp’s book is perfect for just that.
Heart Sisters isn’t so much about making friends as it is about recognizing the really good ones when you have them, and learning to be one yourself. Snap covers all the characteristics of a “heart sister”, things heart sisters do and don’t do. She talks about walking through conflict with heart sisters. She talks about forgiveness, and she talks about how to train our daughters to be good friends as well.
Snapp’s heart for changing the culture of female friendships to be a culture of encouragement was very clear throughout this book, and I appreciated so much of her advice! I especially appreciated everything she had to say about conflict and forgiveness, which were major themes throughout the book. I think she focused on these so much because in order to be a good heart sister, you need to know how to deal with difficult or hurtful situations when they arise - and if you handle them poorly you can lose any chance you had at forming that close friendship that might have been possible. I appreciated a lot of her advice on conflict resolution between friends, because though I’ve had to walk through it like so many women, I am not sure I have ever really read a book or article about it, and Snapp offers sound biblical wisdom on these subjects, and several others.
If you are looking for advice on how to form friendships, Heart Sisters is probably not quite the book you are looking for - but if you would like to deepen the friendships that you already have, this is the perfect book to read!
Note: I received this book for free from Litfuse Publicity in exchange for a review. This is my honest opinion.
This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Godspeed Pictures, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #wherehopegrowsmovie http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV
A couple months ago, I read a news story related to people with Down syndrome. I won’t go into all the details of the story, but it reflected the attitude of some people that those with disabilities such as Down syndrome wouldn’t have fulfilling or meaningful lives because of their disability.
That story irked me at the time, and it has stuck with me since then. I don’t have any friends or family with Down syndrome, but I have met many people with Down syndrome, and I had a friend growing up with a mental disability. They are often the happiest, sweetest people you will ever meet. To suggest that they are somehow less valuable because they don’t fit into someone’s idea of perfection is just ignorant.
I believe with all my heart that every person has intrinsic value.
That’s not just a bumper sticker sentiment, it is the truth. Every person is created in the image of God, and that automatically gives them value. To me that’s a given, but it’s not a given in our culture today. It has become common to try to quantify the worth of people, to the point where some even dare to deem certain lives to have little value.
But who are we to think we can determine that?
I don’t think you even have to look too hard to see the value of those with Down syndrome. The joy they so often exude, the friendship they offer so easily, their ability to look past the faults of others (despite whether or not those people can do the same), the fact that they can thrive despite the challenges that most of us will never face - all these things are sources of inspiration to those around them.
I recently had the opportunity to see a movie that I think illustrated this beautifully. In Where Hope Grows, Calvin Campbell is a washed up baseball player and an alcoholic. In the grocery store one day he meets a kid named Produce, who has Down syndrome. He is drawn to Produce’s happy spirit, and as Campbell gets to know Produce better, he is able to find hope for his own life and relationships.
(My parents and me enjoying the movie! Derek was there too, he just missed out on the pictures.)
Where Hope Grows comes out in theaters this Friday (the 15th), and I highly recommend seeing if you can catch it at your local theater! You can watch the movie trailer here:
And this was a part of the movie that we thought was fun!
The Christian influences in this movie were subtle, which I think makes it a movie that anyone can appreciate, even if they are not believers. But I loved how it was clear that Produce’s joy was because of his faith, and his faith was a beacon for Campbell through the movie as he started to see the changes he needed to make in his own life.
Where Hope Grows has message of hope - that even when you hit your lowest point, there is always hope to turn things around with help from God, and friends and family. I loved the example of Produce’s character, that every person has the potential to impact other people and show them the love of God, even when you might least expect it.
Produce invested his days well, even as a grocery store clerk. He used the place where God had placed him to reach out to others. I think many times we get so caught up in the busyness of the day to day that we forget that God has us where we are for a reason. We get so caught up in our own selves that we forget, or are too scared, to reach out to others.
I don’t think Produce’s character even realized how he impacted the life of Campbell, or his role in helping him get back on track. That’s the beauty of influence. You might never know how you or anyone else may influence others through your life, but you can bet that God can and does use anyone He chooses to change stories.
Derek mentioned how he liked the courage Produce showed at different parts of the movie, even in protecting and standing up for those he cared about. There was something innocent and refreshing about the way Produce’s character impacted those around him that I think is reflective of many people with mental disabilities. It is a beautiful thing. It is something to be valued, something the world needs. I think this movie showed that in a compelling way.
Joni Eareckson Tada has said that people are made for one purpose - to make God real to those around them. The beauty of that truth is that any person can do this. Someone who lives a hundred years, or a baby in a mother’s womb. The healthiest person in the world, or the one with the most challenges. The smartest person on the planet, or the one you would least expect. I think those with Down syndrome and other mental disabilities in particular can touch souls in ways that others never could.
Every person in the world has the capability to make God real to those around them.
Every person in the world has the potential to make an impact on someone else for eternity.
Every person is valuable, not because any human says they are, but because God says they are.
Where Hope Grows drove that point home for me again, and I think the DVD will be joining our movie library in the near future! Definitely check it out!
A Trip Around The Sun is written by the author of The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson, and his mentor, Richard Foth. I had never read The Circle Maker, but this book looked interesting. The subtitle caught my attention "Turning Your Everyday Life Into The Adventure Of A Lifetime".
I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting when I started this book, but the first third of it kind of threw me for a loop. Each chapter of the book is written half by Batterson and half by Foth, and covers a certain topic or phrase. The back-and-forth style was confusing to me at first, and it seemed that a large portion of each section seemed to be the authors telling personal stories about people in their lives. I thought that would be interesting if I knew any of these people, or was already a fan of the authors, but I hadn't heard of any of them before. The first third came off a little self-centered to me, and I was having a hard time getting into it.
But once I settled into the rhythm of the book, I realized that rather than a practical handbook, this book is half inspirational or challenging thoughts, and half memoir. Once I realized where the book was coming from, the personal stories seemed less self-congratulatory and more as attempts to encourage readers to live their lives well. I think the point of the book actually is summed up very well in the sub-title - and the true adventure is stepping outside the comfortable and following Jesus wherever He wants to take us. I appreciated the message more the further I got into this book, and by the end I was left feeling really inspired to make sure I am not wasting my own days - precious days that could be more intentionally lived for Jesus.
If you pick up this book and find it hard to get into, give it a little time and you'll start to enjoy it, I'm sure! There are a lot of good ideas and inspiring advice in this book once you get into it a little further. Definitely an encouraging read!
Note: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This is my honest opinion.
This pregnancy I was this close to trying out a birth center.
My thought was that I have given birth naturally twice before, so I could do it again, right? And I've heard lots of good things about our local birth center. And it would be cheaper, probably half the cost of a hospital. All good reasons to check it out.
So I called and realized that there is a required orientation before making your first appointment. I registered, Derek and I worked our schedules out, dropped the kids off, and we drove to the birth center.
We parked. It was dark. We walked across the street to a little building that looked like it used to be a motel. We went with the flow of traffic into a room crowded with pregnant women and their support people.
The person who greeted us was friendly, and the presentation was informative. We went on a tour of the birth center, I asked a couple questions, and I returned home without returning my paperwork. I had to think.
And I thought about it. For a week. I called my insurance to see how much was covered, got the all clear. I talked about it with my mom. And I thought about it.
And I decided to go with the hospital after all.
It's not because the birth center made me nervous in case there was an emergency, because their procedures and transfer times seemed very cautious and efficient. It wasn't because I didn't like the lady who gave the presentation, because she seemed fine. It wasn't because I thought I might want an epidural, because I know I don't need one.
It was because every time I thought about the birth center, I felt torn. A large part of me thought it would be fine, and I'd have a fine experience, and I'd save money. But there was just a little, tiny part of me that felt uneasy. I can't quite pinpoint why.
I might be in the minority, but I actually like hospitals. Many people feel like they are so cold and sterile, and they smell funny. But I like sterile - maybe it has to do with working in a healthcare field, but it makes me feel comfortable. I like white halls and bright lights - it makes me feel cheerful, and as if the place is clean. I like hospital smells - they remind me of giving birth to my babies. I have only good memories in hospitals.
When I thought about whether I would rather give birth in a hospital environment, or in the bedroom-like environment of the birth center, the hospital won for me, hands down.
When you give birth in a birth center, you go home right away, within 4-6 hours. This could be a definite advantage. There would be more peace. We could sleep in our beds. We could relax in our own home.
But I know myself, and I know it would be hard for me to relax at home. I would be worried about dishes, and dogs, and I'm afraid those first days with my precious baby might feel like any other day of my life. There would be less interruptions by nurses and visitors, but it's kind of fun to have so many people coming in and out of your room, fussing over your beautiful baby. It started to seem like going home so quickly, though perhaps more restful, might also be rather anti-climatic.
And I realized that as silly as it might sound, hospital births are just my style. I like hospitals. I like my doctor. It started to feel like the birth center wasn't my place, and the midwives weren't my people. I want to look back on this, my last birth experience, and know that it was as good a fit for me as it could have been.
So to the hospital we shall go. And ever since we made that decision I haven't felt a twinge of unease, so I know it's right.
Is it the trendy decision? Maybe to some, but not in my circles of friends. The birth center is a popular choice in my little corner of the world, and a few even dare to suggest that going with an OB and giving birth in a hospital is a poor choice. But this, like so many things in raising children, is not a right or wrong sort of issue. There are things that are absolutes for raising healthy children, and there are things in child-rearing that are up for debate. I think part of growing up is sometimes throwing the trendy new thing out the window, and being brave enough to confidently move forward with what you know is the right choice for you.
If the last four years of motherhood has taught me anything, it is that the onslaught of trendy things does not stop after your baby is born, and everyone has an opinion. Motherhood has also taught me that if you let everyone else try to make these choices for you on subjective issues, you will probably be miserable with all the trying to measure up. When you pray about it, and think about it, and know you are making the best choice for your unique personality, and your unique family - then you should proceed with confidence. No one can make you feel inferior with your consent, even the ones who seem to be actively trying.
So we are just not birth center kind of people. And that is okay.
Baby showers can be so much fun - I love being able to celebrate a brand-new life with my family and friends who are expecting! However, sometimes buying for a baby shower can be challenging. It seems like there is always at least one duplicate gift (despite the registry), and I'm always hoping my gift isn't one of them!
As a general rule, I like to buy mostly practical things for first time moms, because I know when I was pregnant with Wyatt I was hoping to receive all the practical items we needed so I could spend my own baby money on the fun stuff. But when I put together a baby shower gift, I still like to throw in an extra little gift - and if it's something unique (that won't be duplicated by someone else), all the better! I've got three ideas for you today.
1. A Car Mirror. This is something that I always tell new moms to get before they have their babies, because for some reason no one ever thinks of getting one beforehand. I just remember putting my teeny, tiny baby in that huge carseat, and putting him in the backseat of the car, and being stressed out the entire way home because I couldn't see if he was okay back there! Was it new mom paranoia? Yes, but even as a more experienced mom now, I still appreciate being able to see my baby with those rear-facing car seats.
(Can we just take a minute to say "aw" over itty bitty Wyatt?
Can't believe that little guy is four years old.)
2. Lip Balm. My favorite one to get new moms is the lip salve from Bath and Body Works, because it is thick, and it smells really good. I didn't realize before I went into labor how dry your lips can get - slow-breathing for hours will do that to you. I was putting on lip balm every few minutes during my first labor, so I made sure I had a good, thick lip balm for my other labors. I love to throw this into a baby shower gift, because almost every gift is for the baby, so this is always a nice surprise for mom.
3. A Book For The Baby. Some baby shower invitations ask you to bring a book as part of your gift, but if the invitation doesn't specifically ask for books, there usually aren't many books in those gift bags. And there is almost no chance of you giving the same book as someone else! Grab your childhood favorite to add to your gift - or if you need an idea, I really enjoyed "Mommy Loves You So Much" from Tommy Nelson! Each page has adorable little animal babies doing things with their mommies. To me, this is the perfect book for a baby shower gift, because what new mom doesn't dream about all the things they will do with their baby once they arrive? The rhymes on each page are so sweet, and the simple daily activities that are described will apply to any mom and baby.
What are some of your favorite things to give at baby showers? I'd love to get more ideas!
Note: I received a copy of "Mommy Loves You So Much" from tommy Nelson in exchange for a review. This is my honest opinion!
I think my favorite Christian romance stories are the ones where the two main characters have known each other for a long time, and one or both of them start to realize they have feelings for each other. I don't know why, maybe it's just the added suspense, but I like reading how those stories play out best.
If The Shoe Fits by Sandra D. Bricker is a story about Julianne Barlett, a lawyer who is looking for her Prince Charming - and she thinks she has found him when she sees a strayer rescuing a dog from a busy highway. But what she doesn't realize is that her real Prince Charming has been right there under her nose for years.
This book was written from a humorous perspective, and there personalities of the characters were fun and quirky. I really liked how the author had a couple side plots going on, so it wasn't all focused on two characters. I like when authors can show the main characters in a community instead of in isolation, and I thought Bricker did that very well. At times I got a little irritated at Julianne, because she seemed so dense when it came to romance, but that was part of the charm.
One thing I didn't like was that though Julianne was supposed to be a Christian, finding a Christian man to marry didn't seem to be high on her list of priorities - no kind of alarm was really sounded when she found out the guy she was dating wasn't a believer. If you are looking for a role-model type romantic book for younger readers, that might be something to discuss further.
Still, I really enjoyed this book. The characters were funny and interesting, and I felt like the story developed at the perfect pace.
I have no idea if there is a second series in this book, but I wish there was, because there was a rivalry between Julianne and another female lawyer that was never really resolved - and I think it would be interesting to see that play out in another book.
If you want some light, fun beach reading this summer, this is a great one to check out!
Note: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for this review. This is my honest opinion.
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