4 hours ago
Christmas is just three days away! This is a special Christmas to me. This time last year I remember thinking how special it would be to be pregnant at Christmas time.
As the day that we celebrate our Savior's birth draws nearer, and as this little boy's movements become more distinct, I find myself wondering about Mary. It warms my heart and makes me smile every time I feel my son kick and squirm inside me. How must Mary have felt, knowing that the baby that kicked and squirmed inside her was God Himself?
I haven't been through childbirth yet, but I imagine that when I do give birth to our son, Derek and I will both be filled with joy, and overwhelmed at this gift that God has given us. When I think of how Derek and I will feel, I wonder how Mary and Joseph must have felt bringing Jesus into the world, because they knew. They knew Who He really was. As they looked at that newborn baby boy, their emotions must have been even more overwhelming, because they knew He wasn't just a gift to them - He was God's gift to all mankind.
It is special to be pregnant at Christmas time - because every time I look down at my ever-growing belly and think of my son, I also think about another girl, in another time, who must of looked down at her belly the same way and thought about her Son - God Incarnate, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
And I think about what He endured to save her, and me, and any person who puts their trust in Him. His sacrifice is the greatest Christmas present of all time. No other gift could compare.
Such a gift calls for no less than a life devoted to Him. So as my boy presses against my belly and makes me smile again, I pray for help to serve Jesus better, and I pray for my son to grow up to serve and know Him as well. Because that is what life is all about.
As the day that we celebrate our Savior's birth draws nearer, and as this little boy's movements become more distinct, I find myself wondering about Mary. It warms my heart and makes me smile every time I feel my son kick and squirm inside me. How must Mary have felt, knowing that the baby that kicked and squirmed inside her was God Himself?
I haven't been through childbirth yet, but I imagine that when I do give birth to our son, Derek and I will both be filled with joy, and overwhelmed at this gift that God has given us. When I think of how Derek and I will feel, I wonder how Mary and Joseph must have felt bringing Jesus into the world, because they knew. They knew Who He really was. As they looked at that newborn baby boy, their emotions must have been even more overwhelming, because they knew He wasn't just a gift to them - He was God's gift to all mankind.
It is special to be pregnant at Christmas time - because every time I look down at my ever-growing belly and think of my son, I also think about another girl, in another time, who must of looked down at her belly the same way and thought about her Son - God Incarnate, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
And I think about what He endured to save her, and me, and any person who puts their trust in Him. His sacrifice is the greatest Christmas present of all time. No other gift could compare.
Such a gift calls for no less than a life devoted to Him. So as my boy presses against my belly and makes me smile again, I pray for help to serve Jesus better, and I pray for my son to grow up to serve and know Him as well. Because that is what life is all about.
I don't think the world hates me enough.
That may seem like an odd statement to those who don't know where I'm coming from. But as a Christian, the Bible promises that the world will hate me (Matthew 10:22).
Or at least they should hate me, if I'm doing my job right.
But if I'm honest with myself, I really don't think I'm very hated. I just go about my daily business, the world goes about theirs, and we don't think about each other very much.
I would hope the people I encounter on a daily basis would be able to tell that I'm a Christian by the references I make to my faith in daily conversation (few as they are), or by the way I live my life. I would hope they would be able to tell that something is different.
But that's not really enough, is it?
Jesus commands us to "go and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19). But they can't really be made disciples if I'm not willing to say something, can they?
I really struggle with evangelism. I hate that I struggle with evangelism. How hard is it to just ask someone what they believe? How hard is it to just say what I believe? How is it that something that is the most important thing in my life is so hard to talk about with others? Something is wrong here.
I could go into the whole, "not everyone has the gift of evangelism" thing. And although I think that it is true that some have a real gift for reaching others with the gospel, it's not a good excuse. Because evangelism is something we are all called to do, whether we are good at it or not.
I'm not good at evangelism. I'm not sure exactly what it is that I'm afraid of. I think I'm most afraid that I'll try to reach out to someone by telling them about Jesus, and they'll ask a question that I won't know how to answer, or I'll stumble over my words and make the gospel seem weak. I'm afraid I'll let everyone down and misrepresent my Lord if I don't say the right thing.
But then, I'm really placing all the emphasis on what I can do to bring others to Christ when I think that way, when in reality, I can't do a thing. The Holy Spirit is the one who convicts people of their sin, the Holy Spirit is the one who opens their eyes and brings them to Jesus. Don't I think He's big enough to use my words, flawed as they may be, for His ultimate purpose?
I wish I could say that this is something I will get better at, but I honestly don't know. I feel as if fear rules me in this.
I do know, however, that perfect love casts out fear. God has shown me His perfect love by sending Jesus to live, die, and rise from the dead in order to save me - and it's wrong of me not to share that perfect love with others.
I wish the world hated me more. Because if they did, it would mean that I would be doing my job - I would be speaking about Jesus to those I know, sharing with them how they can be saved, and reflecting the glory of God to those around me.
Unfortunately, I fall woefully short of doing any of these things. The world and I go about our business, not thinking about each other much at all. And I'm not even sure how to fix it.
Lord, please help me to be bold in telling others about You. I have not been following your command to "go and make disciples", and I don't even know where to start - but You do, and I pray You would show me what to do, and what to say. Forgive me for ignoring your clear commandment in this are, and thank You for showing me grace, even when I continually fail.
Does anyone else struggle with this? And what has helped you become a brighter light for Christ?
That may seem like an odd statement to those who don't know where I'm coming from. But as a Christian, the Bible promises that the world will hate me (Matthew 10:22).
Or at least they should hate me, if I'm doing my job right.
But if I'm honest with myself, I really don't think I'm very hated. I just go about my daily business, the world goes about theirs, and we don't think about each other very much.
I would hope the people I encounter on a daily basis would be able to tell that I'm a Christian by the references I make to my faith in daily conversation (few as they are), or by the way I live my life. I would hope they would be able to tell that something is different.
But that's not really enough, is it?
Jesus commands us to "go and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19). But they can't really be made disciples if I'm not willing to say something, can they?
I really struggle with evangelism. I hate that I struggle with evangelism. How hard is it to just ask someone what they believe? How hard is it to just say what I believe? How is it that something that is the most important thing in my life is so hard to talk about with others? Something is wrong here.
I could go into the whole, "not everyone has the gift of evangelism" thing. And although I think that it is true that some have a real gift for reaching others with the gospel, it's not a good excuse. Because evangelism is something we are all called to do, whether we are good at it or not.
I'm not good at evangelism. I'm not sure exactly what it is that I'm afraid of. I think I'm most afraid that I'll try to reach out to someone by telling them about Jesus, and they'll ask a question that I won't know how to answer, or I'll stumble over my words and make the gospel seem weak. I'm afraid I'll let everyone down and misrepresent my Lord if I don't say the right thing.
But then, I'm really placing all the emphasis on what I can do to bring others to Christ when I think that way, when in reality, I can't do a thing. The Holy Spirit is the one who convicts people of their sin, the Holy Spirit is the one who opens their eyes and brings them to Jesus. Don't I think He's big enough to use my words, flawed as they may be, for His ultimate purpose?
I wish I could say that this is something I will get better at, but I honestly don't know. I feel as if fear rules me in this.
I do know, however, that perfect love casts out fear. God has shown me His perfect love by sending Jesus to live, die, and rise from the dead in order to save me - and it's wrong of me not to share that perfect love with others.
I wish the world hated me more. Because if they did, it would mean that I would be doing my job - I would be speaking about Jesus to those I know, sharing with them how they can be saved, and reflecting the glory of God to those around me.
Unfortunately, I fall woefully short of doing any of these things. The world and I go about our business, not thinking about each other much at all. And I'm not even sure how to fix it.
Lord, please help me to be bold in telling others about You. I have not been following your command to "go and make disciples", and I don't even know where to start - but You do, and I pray You would show me what to do, and what to say. Forgive me for ignoring your clear commandment in this are, and thank You for showing me grace, even when I continually fail.
Does anyone else struggle with this? And what has helped you become a brighter light for Christ?
I recently joined the Blogging For Books program which is run by Waterbrook Multonomah Publishing Group. I've confessed that I'm a bookworm, and this program allows me to get books for free if I agree to post a review about them. How can I pass that up? If you're a fellow book-lover you should check out the Blogging For Books website and sign up too.
Several months ago I heard about the book Radical by David Platt. The sub-title particularly caught my eye "Taking Your Faith Back From The American Dream."
Now, I am pretty fiercely patriotic, so when I saw the sub-title, I wasn't sure what to think about this book. I get rather defensive whenever it appears that someone is criticizing one of the things that I think makes America great, and that includes the freedom that we enjoy in America to work hard toward our goals and provide a good life for our families.
I was expecting it to be one of those anti-American, liberal-minded type books, but something made me read the first chapter anyway (it was available to read online).
After reading the first chapter, I realized that the topic of this book really wasn't even close to my initial impression of it, so I decided to request it for my first book to review, and I must say, I found it challenging and not anti-American at all.
David Platt clearly states early on in the book that "Certainly hard work and high aspirations are not bad, and the freedom to pursue our goals is something we should celebrate." That helped to clear up the initial impression I had received from the title, and the rest of the book focused instead on warning American Christians to not let the American Dream distract us from our higher loyalty and calling as Christians - which includes glorifying God (instead of ourselves and our own abilities), reaching the world with the gospel, giving of our resources in order to further the gospel and help the needy, personally working to bring the knowledge of Jesus to those who don't know Him, and not being afraid to give our lives in these biblical pursuits.
I think the underlying points that Platt brings to light in this book are valid and biblically sound, but I sometimes take issue with the way he says them. For example, at one point Platt discusses the point that American churches sometimes focus too much on what we're called not to do, instead of the things we are called to do as Christians, and he states that when we change our focus in this way "All of a sudden, holiness is defined by what we do." I feel as if that statement almost sounds like a works-based philosophy, but I know that in the context that is not what he is saying. There were a couple such instances in the book, but they were minor enough that they weren't a major issue - the underlying points were sound, and usually the issue was discussed in more detail somewhere in the book, which made Platt's position more clear. I just made notes in the book to clarify for myself for future reference.
Overall, I found this book to be very challenging. Most people are going to feel uncomfortable reading this book; I certainly did. Platt brings up biblical commands that aren't comfortable to consider - such as guarding against materialism, giving sacrificially, and going personally to "make disciples of all nations".
However, no one ever said that following Christ would be comfortable - in fact, if we're feeling comfortable, we probably aren't giving as much of our lives to Him as we should be. In our American church culture it is so easy to fall into that comfortable place, and David Platt brings a full-on, biblical attack against that kind of attitude.
I was convicted, especially by the chapter on materialism, and I find myself thinking of practical ways I can apply what I've read in Radical to my own life. I would recommend this book to any Christian who is feeling a little too comfortable or content in their current walk with Christ - it will challenge you, and it will lead you to think more deeply about what we are called to do as followers of Christ - and that definitely makes it worth reading in my opinion.
Note: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. This is my honest opinion on the book.
Several months ago I heard about the book Radical by David Platt. The sub-title particularly caught my eye "Taking Your Faith Back From The American Dream."
Now, I am pretty fiercely patriotic, so when I saw the sub-title, I wasn't sure what to think about this book. I get rather defensive whenever it appears that someone is criticizing one of the things that I think makes America great, and that includes the freedom that we enjoy in America to work hard toward our goals and provide a good life for our families.
I was expecting it to be one of those anti-American, liberal-minded type books, but something made me read the first chapter anyway (it was available to read online).
After reading the first chapter, I realized that the topic of this book really wasn't even close to my initial impression of it, so I decided to request it for my first book to review, and I must say, I found it challenging and not anti-American at all.
David Platt clearly states early on in the book that "Certainly hard work and high aspirations are not bad, and the freedom to pursue our goals is something we should celebrate." That helped to clear up the initial impression I had received from the title, and the rest of the book focused instead on warning American Christians to not let the American Dream distract us from our higher loyalty and calling as Christians - which includes glorifying God (instead of ourselves and our own abilities), reaching the world with the gospel, giving of our resources in order to further the gospel and help the needy, personally working to bring the knowledge of Jesus to those who don't know Him, and not being afraid to give our lives in these biblical pursuits.
I think the underlying points that Platt brings to light in this book are valid and biblically sound, but I sometimes take issue with the way he says them. For example, at one point Platt discusses the point that American churches sometimes focus too much on what we're called not to do, instead of the things we are called to do as Christians, and he states that when we change our focus in this way "All of a sudden, holiness is defined by what we do." I feel as if that statement almost sounds like a works-based philosophy, but I know that in the context that is not what he is saying. There were a couple such instances in the book, but they were minor enough that they weren't a major issue - the underlying points were sound, and usually the issue was discussed in more detail somewhere in the book, which made Platt's position more clear. I just made notes in the book to clarify for myself for future reference.
Overall, I found this book to be very challenging. Most people are going to feel uncomfortable reading this book; I certainly did. Platt brings up biblical commands that aren't comfortable to consider - such as guarding against materialism, giving sacrificially, and going personally to "make disciples of all nations".
However, no one ever said that following Christ would be comfortable - in fact, if we're feeling comfortable, we probably aren't giving as much of our lives to Him as we should be. In our American church culture it is so easy to fall into that comfortable place, and David Platt brings a full-on, biblical attack against that kind of attitude.
I was convicted, especially by the chapter on materialism, and I find myself thinking of practical ways I can apply what I've read in Radical to my own life. I would recommend this book to any Christian who is feeling a little too comfortable or content in their current walk with Christ - it will challenge you, and it will lead you to think more deeply about what we are called to do as followers of Christ - and that definitely makes it worth reading in my opinion.
Note: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. This is my honest opinion on the book.
It's hard to register for a baby.
When you go to register for your wedding it's so easy - you just pick things that you like. But when you register for a baby you have to think of everything you are going to need, and then there's quality and safety to consider.
Honestly, I had no idea where to start. I've never had a baby before, so I don't know what I need!
Thankfully several months ago I came across a list of baby things on Ashley's blog, For The Love Of Shoes And A Baby Too. So when I realized my baby shower was just a month and a half away and I needed to register, I copied the list I found on her blog and took it to my mom.
My mom not only took care of me when I was a baby, but she took care of my twin brother and sister - she had three of us under three years old for a while there! I knew she could help me figure out what I really needed and what was just icing on the cake, and the list was a great place to start.
My mom and I tweaked it a bit, and I thought I'd post the modified list here - just in case any of you need a starting point in the future! Please feel free to copy this list and take it to your mother, or someone else you know, for tweaking as well - it won't hurt my feelings at all!
Things For Baby
4-8 bodysuits and onesies
8 one-piece pajamas
2 blanket sleepers
1-3 sweaters or jackets
1-3 rompers or dress-up outfits
4-7 socks or booties
1-3 hats
1 bunting bag or fleece suit (for winter baby)
Crib, cradle, or bassinet
Firm, flat mattress
2 washable crib mattress pads
Bumper pads - breathable
4 fitted crib sheets
6 light receiving blankets
2 heavier blankets
Music box, sound machine, or CD player
Crib mobile
Baby monitor
Nightlight
Dresser
Storage baskets
Swing and/or bouncy chair
Contoured changing pad for table with safety strap
Changing pad cover
Diaper pail
Diaper pail liners
Vaseline or Diaper cream
Diapers
Unscented Baby Wipes or Handi Wipes
Soft baby washcloths
Baby bathtub
Baby soap
Baby shampoo
2-4 soft hooded bath towels
Baby grooming items (hairbrush, comb, clippers, toothbrush)
16 bottles and nipples both 4 and 8 ounces
Bottle brush
Dishwasher basket for small items
4-8 bibs
Burp cloths/cloth diapers
High chair
2-4 pacifiers
Infant car seat and stroller
Diaper bag
Changing pad
Baby carrier/sling
Pack 'N' Play
Medical items for baby
2-3 week's supply of pads
Nursing pads
Pump
Nursing gown
That's the list. Hopefully some of you will find it as helpful as I did!
Derek and I already have several of the bigger items (thanks to family members and hand-me-downs), so I didn't have to register for everything on that list!
Looking at the list of things we need for baby always makes me anxious to (1) meet the little guy, and (2) go shopping! But I'll wait until after our baby shower . . .
Ever since we found out that we're having a baby boy, Derek and I have been getting asked about what we're going to name our baby.
I promise that I'm not evading the question so that I can keep it a secret until his birth. We just honestly don't know what we want to name our little boy.
It seems like everyone has names picked out for their children so quickly, and I feel like a bit of a name-picking slacker. But I find that if I think about a name too much I tend to get tired of it, and then I'm not sure if I like it anymore. That's why I didn't have names picked out for a boy already.
In an effort to start thinking about what names I like, I went to the Social Security website. If you go to their website you can see the top 1000 names from any given year since 1879. It's a pretty cool feature.
So I decided to print up the list of the top 1000 names from the years of 1900 and 2009.
I picked 2009 because I want to see what's popular right now.
I picked 1900 because Derek and I like classic/Old English names. I'm not so crazy about modern names - I like a name to have a history, personally, and I like it to be easy to spell. I figured I'd get a good variety of classic names from the year 1900.
I saved the lists to my computer and started deleting some of the names that I know I don't like. I wasn't too surprised at seeing some crazy ones in the 2009 list, but I was very surprised by what I found in the 1900 list.
Apparently it was a fad in the year 1900 to name little boys with girl's names.
Oh, but not just the general girl's names, the ones that could be a bit ambiguous - like Ashley or Lindsey or Kelly. I still think those are girl's names, but you hear them enough as boy's names that it's not entirely unusual.
No, I'm talking extremely feminine names. Names like Rose, Elsie, Gertrude, Ella, Helen, Allison, Irene, Vivian, Annie/Anna, Emma, and Margaret.
And these weren't just isolated incidents.
Eleven little boys were named Lillian.
Sixteen were named Elizabeth.
Twenty-two Jewel's, and twenty-two Bertha's.
And yes, there were even nine boys named Callie. At least with that one they could be called "Cal" or something. How do you shorten Lillian to something acceptable? Or Anna?
All together, about half a percent of the boys born in 1900 had what I would consider to be clearly girl's names. That may not sound like much at first, but it probably adds up to a couple hundred boys at least.
Those poor little guys.
I kept double checking the list to make sure I was on the boy side. But there was no mistake - it was the boy side.
It just goes to show that people can think up weird names for their babies no matter what year they live in.
I promise that I'm not evading the question so that I can keep it a secret until his birth. We just honestly don't know what we want to name our little boy.
It seems like everyone has names picked out for their children so quickly, and I feel like a bit of a name-picking slacker. But I find that if I think about a name too much I tend to get tired of it, and then I'm not sure if I like it anymore. That's why I didn't have names picked out for a boy already.
In an effort to start thinking about what names I like, I went to the Social Security website. If you go to their website you can see the top 1000 names from any given year since 1879. It's a pretty cool feature.
So I decided to print up the list of the top 1000 names from the years of 1900 and 2009.
I picked 2009 because I want to see what's popular right now.
I picked 1900 because Derek and I like classic/Old English names. I'm not so crazy about modern names - I like a name to have a history, personally, and I like it to be easy to spell. I figured I'd get a good variety of classic names from the year 1900.
I saved the lists to my computer and started deleting some of the names that I know I don't like. I wasn't too surprised at seeing some crazy ones in the 2009 list, but I was very surprised by what I found in the 1900 list.
Apparently it was a fad in the year 1900 to name little boys with girl's names.
Oh, but not just the general girl's names, the ones that could be a bit ambiguous - like Ashley or Lindsey or Kelly. I still think those are girl's names, but you hear them enough as boy's names that it's not entirely unusual.
No, I'm talking extremely feminine names. Names like Rose, Elsie, Gertrude, Ella, Helen, Allison, Irene, Vivian, Annie/Anna, Emma, and Margaret.
And these weren't just isolated incidents.
Eleven little boys were named Lillian.
Sixteen were named Elizabeth.
Twenty-two Jewel's, and twenty-two Bertha's.
And yes, there were even nine boys named Callie. At least with that one they could be called "Cal" or something. How do you shorten Lillian to something acceptable? Or Anna?
All together, about half a percent of the boys born in 1900 had what I would consider to be clearly girl's names. That may not sound like much at first, but it probably adds up to a couple hundred boys at least.
Those poor little guys.
I kept double checking the list to make sure I was on the boy side. But there was no mistake - it was the boy side.
It just goes to show that people can think up weird names for their babies no matter what year they live in.
I read a funny verse a couple months ago.
I was reading in the gospel of Mark about when Jesus was betrayed and arrested. And these two verses caught my eye:
"A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind."
Mark 14:51-52
I believe every verse in the Bible is in there for a reason, even the ones that don't seem to fit - we just have to figure out the reason why. So I found myself wondering who that young man was, and why it was important for him to be mentioned there.
I told Derek about that verse and my puzzlement over it, and he whipped out his Life Application Study Bible and looked it up for me. Then he told me what his footnotes said, and the story started to make more sense.
In the footnotes, it noted that Christian tradition says that the young man in those verses was Mark, the author of the gospel of Mark. He is also known by the name of John Mark.
Well, that caught my attention, because I remembered that John Mark was who Paul and Barnabas argued about when they parted ways in Acts. I never fully understood why Paul didn't want John Mark to come with them on the missionary journey, and I never understood why Barnabas was so adamant about defending him. It always seemed like such a shame to have them separate over something like that.
So Derek did a bit more digging for me and this is what his Life Application Bible had to say about John Mark:
"Mistakes are effective teachers. Their consequences have a way of making lessons painfully clear. But those who learn from their mistakes are likely to develop wisdom. John Mark was a good learner who just needed some time and encouragement.
Mark was eager to do the right thing, but he had trouble staying with a task. In his Gospel, Mark mentions a young man (probably referring to himself) who fled in such fear during Jesus' arrest that he left his clothes behind. This tendency to run was to reappear later when Paul and Barnabas took him as their assistant on their first missionary journey. At their second stop Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.
It was a decision Paul did not easily accept. In preparing for their second journey two years later, Barnabas again suggested Mark as a traveling companion, but Paul flatly refused. As a result, the team was divided. Barnabas took Mark with him, and Paul chose Silas. Barnabas was patient with Mark, and the young man repaid his investment. Paul and Mark were later reunited and the older apostle became a close friend of the young disciple . . .
. . . Barnabas played a key role in Mark's life. He stood beside the young man despite his failure, giving him patient encouragement. Mark challenges us to learn from our mistakes and appreciate the patience of others. Is there a Barnabas in your life you need to thank for his or her encouragement to you?"
I really loved reading that explanation, because it explained a little better the decision of both Paul and Barnabas to part ways, and it gave such a happy ending to the whole story.
Paul didn't want John mark to come because he had proved himself unreliable before (Acts 13:13). I always assumed Paul was right, Barnabas was wrong, and John Mark must not have been a very good guy. But after reading this commentary, I was able to see the story in a new light.
Paul had good reason to be hesitant about bringing John Mark - he had left them on their first journey (Acts 13:13). Barnabas saw Mark's potential - he wanted to be an encouragement to Mark by giving him another chance and helping him to grow, and that's why he was so insistent on bringing Mark. Mark wasn't a "bad guy", but just a young Christian who needed some encouragement and a second chance.
I liked reading about this, because it made me realize that neither of them was necessarily wrong in the argument - Paul had a good reason for not wanting Mark to come, and Barnabas had a good reason for wanting him to come. And a good thing came out of their decision to split - not only were they able to spread the gospel to two different parts of the world, instead of just one, but Mark was encouraged and grew through being allowed to go on the journey. Paul comments later on how Mark became helpful to him in his ministry (2 Timothy 4:11), even calling him "my son Mark" (1 Peter 5:13).
This wasn't the first time Barnabas encouraged someone. He was such an encouragement to the early church that they started to call him Barnabas, which means "Son of Encouragement" (his name was Joseph originally - Acts 4:36).
When Paul first became a Christian, the church in Jerusalem didn't believe that he was really a believer (Acts 9:26), which was understandable because of how he had persecuted them before. It was Barnabas who took him under his wing and introduced him to the apostles (Acts 9:27). Barnabas opened the doors for Paul to be accepted in the church at Jerusalem by being an encouragement to Paul and accepting him.
The quote that I shared above about John Mark asks if you have a Barnabas in your life that you need to thank for encouraging you, and I would encourage you to do that. But I have another question for you - can you think of someone in your life to whom you could be a Barnabas?
Barnabas is one of those quiet heroes. Those who encourage others aren't in the public eye - if you choose to step out of your comfort zone and encourage someone, you probably won't be recognized for it.
We'll never know what would have happened to Paul and John Mark if Barnabas wasn't there to encourage them. And you may never know the difference you make in someone's life just by being there to lift them up when they are down, by being their Barnabas.
At least you won't know on earth - but I think there must be great rewards in Heaven for those who choose to encourage others. I hope you step out in faith and choose to be an encouragement to someone today. It could make all the difference in the world.
I was reading in the gospel of Mark about when Jesus was betrayed and arrested. And these two verses caught my eye:
"A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind."
Mark 14:51-52
I believe every verse in the Bible is in there for a reason, even the ones that don't seem to fit - we just have to figure out the reason why. So I found myself wondering who that young man was, and why it was important for him to be mentioned there.
I told Derek about that verse and my puzzlement over it, and he whipped out his Life Application Study Bible and looked it up for me. Then he told me what his footnotes said, and the story started to make more sense.
In the footnotes, it noted that Christian tradition says that the young man in those verses was Mark, the author of the gospel of Mark. He is also known by the name of John Mark.
Well, that caught my attention, because I remembered that John Mark was who Paul and Barnabas argued about when they parted ways in Acts. I never fully understood why Paul didn't want John Mark to come with them on the missionary journey, and I never understood why Barnabas was so adamant about defending him. It always seemed like such a shame to have them separate over something like that.
So Derek did a bit more digging for me and this is what his Life Application Bible had to say about John Mark:
"Mistakes are effective teachers. Their consequences have a way of making lessons painfully clear. But those who learn from their mistakes are likely to develop wisdom. John Mark was a good learner who just needed some time and encouragement.
Mark was eager to do the right thing, but he had trouble staying with a task. In his Gospel, Mark mentions a young man (probably referring to himself) who fled in such fear during Jesus' arrest that he left his clothes behind. This tendency to run was to reappear later when Paul and Barnabas took him as their assistant on their first missionary journey. At their second stop Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.
It was a decision Paul did not easily accept. In preparing for their second journey two years later, Barnabas again suggested Mark as a traveling companion, but Paul flatly refused. As a result, the team was divided. Barnabas took Mark with him, and Paul chose Silas. Barnabas was patient with Mark, and the young man repaid his investment. Paul and Mark were later reunited and the older apostle became a close friend of the young disciple . . .
. . . Barnabas played a key role in Mark's life. He stood beside the young man despite his failure, giving him patient encouragement. Mark challenges us to learn from our mistakes and appreciate the patience of others. Is there a Barnabas in your life you need to thank for his or her encouragement to you?"
I really loved reading that explanation, because it explained a little better the decision of both Paul and Barnabas to part ways, and it gave such a happy ending to the whole story.
Paul didn't want John mark to come because he had proved himself unreliable before (Acts 13:13). I always assumed Paul was right, Barnabas was wrong, and John Mark must not have been a very good guy. But after reading this commentary, I was able to see the story in a new light.
Paul had good reason to be hesitant about bringing John Mark - he had left them on their first journey (Acts 13:13). Barnabas saw Mark's potential - he wanted to be an encouragement to Mark by giving him another chance and helping him to grow, and that's why he was so insistent on bringing Mark. Mark wasn't a "bad guy", but just a young Christian who needed some encouragement and a second chance.
I liked reading about this, because it made me realize that neither of them was necessarily wrong in the argument - Paul had a good reason for not wanting Mark to come, and Barnabas had a good reason for wanting him to come. And a good thing came out of their decision to split - not only were they able to spread the gospel to two different parts of the world, instead of just one, but Mark was encouraged and grew through being allowed to go on the journey. Paul comments later on how Mark became helpful to him in his ministry (2 Timothy 4:11), even calling him "my son Mark" (1 Peter 5:13).
This wasn't the first time Barnabas encouraged someone. He was such an encouragement to the early church that they started to call him Barnabas, which means "Son of Encouragement" (his name was Joseph originally - Acts 4:36).
When Paul first became a Christian, the church in Jerusalem didn't believe that he was really a believer (Acts 9:26), which was understandable because of how he had persecuted them before. It was Barnabas who took him under his wing and introduced him to the apostles (Acts 9:27). Barnabas opened the doors for Paul to be accepted in the church at Jerusalem by being an encouragement to Paul and accepting him.
The quote that I shared above about John Mark asks if you have a Barnabas in your life that you need to thank for encouraging you, and I would encourage you to do that. But I have another question for you - can you think of someone in your life to whom you could be a Barnabas?
Barnabas is one of those quiet heroes. Those who encourage others aren't in the public eye - if you choose to step out of your comfort zone and encourage someone, you probably won't be recognized for it.
We'll never know what would have happened to Paul and John Mark if Barnabas wasn't there to encourage them. And you may never know the difference you make in someone's life just by being there to lift them up when they are down, by being their Barnabas.
At least you won't know on earth - but I think there must be great rewards in Heaven for those who choose to encourage others. I hope you step out in faith and choose to be an encouragement to someone today. It could make all the difference in the world.
Note: Since writing this post we have had a second gender reveal party, and we came up with even more gender reveal party games! So be sure to check that out after you finish this post!
When I was trying to plan for our gender reveal party, I googled "gender reveal party games" to see what would come up. The results were somewhat disappointing. There were no actual articles on games for gender reveal parties, and most of the results were just recaps of gender reveal parties on personal blogs that had minimal game ideas.
I decided right then and there that after our gender reveal party, I'd do a post on the games we did. My mom and I brainstormed, and Derek helped me refine some of our ideas. Here's what we came up with:
Voting Board:
This isn't technically a "game", but I saw the voting board idea on several blogs and decided we'd do it too. We had the guests vote for what they thought the baby was, and write there name on the appropriate side of the board. We also had them pin on a pink or blue ribbon to represent their guess.
This is how we split up the teams for the rest of the party. There was "Team Blue" and "Team Pink" competing against each other in other games, which worked out rather well - the competition makes the party more interesting, in my opinion.
Jelly Bean Guessing Game:
We bought pink and blue jelly beans, counted them out, and put them in a jar; then we added a few more jelly beans of the color related to the baby's gender. We told guests as they arrived that there were slightly more pink or blue jelly beans depending on the baby's gender, and then we had them write their guesses for both colors on a piece of paper and put it into another jar. It was fun to see people examining the jar, trying to figure out which color had more jelly beans.
After the reveal, I went through the papers, and we awarded one prize for the person who guessed closest to the amount of pink jelly beans, and one prize for the person who guessed the closest to the amount of blue jelly beans. We decided to give away $5 Starbucks giftcards for this game, since there were only going to be two winners, but any prize would do. You could also only give a prize to the person who guessed the correct amount of the correct color, but we just thought we'd give prizes for both.
Boy/Girl Outburst:
I went through all the cards in our Junior Outburst game and pulled out the cards that had to do with boys or girls. Then we played a short game of Outburst with the Blue Team vs. the Pink Team. I think if you want to have the cards you read be related to boys and girls, the junior version of Outburst works best. You don't necessarily have to use only the boy/girl cards though - I just felt it helped the game fit into the purpose of the party a little better.
We gave mini candy bars to the team who won - even though it was a really small prize, I think it was just fun to win something. I got mini Hershey bars for this prize, and I colored the "HE" and "SHE" in "Hershey" blue and pink accordingly, and everyone thought that was a nice touch.
Nerf Gun Shooting Game:
The beauty of doing the Team Blue vs. Team Pink thing is that you can pretty much do any team game and fit it into the party. Since we had alot of men coming to the party, we wanted to think of a game that we knew they'd like. And all men love Nerf guns. If you doubt me, just giving a couple of Nerf guns to the men in your family for Christmas, and see how long it takes them to start shooting at each other . . .
So, once again, we split into Team Blue and Team Pink, and did a shooting competition using Nerf guns and empty pop cans. Each person got five shots at five pop cans. We then recorded the amount of pop cans each person knocked down on a dry erase board, and when everyone had a chance to shoot, we gave the team with the most points a prize. This game seemed to be a hit - the women and men both had fun seeing how many cans they could hit. We just gave out mini candy bars again, so it doesn't have to be a big prize - just give them something to win.
The Pinata/Candy Hunt:
They way we chose to do our reveal moment also became a sort of game. Weeks before the party, when I was trying to think of a creative way to reveal the gender, my husband came up with the idea of using a pinata. I thought that was a brilliant idea, so that's what we did.
I originally thought I could just buy some pink or blue candy and let the breaking of the pinata be the reveal - but then I started wondering where I was going to get pink or blue candy in the fall. If it was Easter time when we had the party, this would be no problem, but the time of year made it hard to think of where to look. I was considering buying some pink or blue cellophane and wrapping regular candy in that, which would have worked fine - but then we came up with a better idea.
I decided to just use regular candy, but to tape a little card on the back of one of the pieces with the gender inside. Then the person who found the candy with the card on the back could be the person to reveal the gender to everyone else. We also decided to award a prize (a $5 Starbucks giftcard) to the person who found it, as a little added incentive.
It turned out beautifully, I think because it got everyone involved in looking through the candy. With most of the guests being adults, I didn't think there would be much of a desire to gather up the candy after the reveal moment if we just did pink and blue candy. But alot of our guests did rush to the candy when they had the chance to find the revealing piece of candy!
My sister found the candy with the card and was able to read it to everyone. I think it was fun to give someone else the chance to announce our news, instead of Derek and me announcing it.
Guessing Correctly:
The team that guessed the gender right at the beginning of the party also received a prize after the reveal. We did full-size candy bars, because everyone loves candy and they weren't too expensive to buy. They went over very well, I think. Any small prize you'd want to give away would do - just make sure you over-estimate the number, because you never know how the teams will be split.
It took alot of planning, but we wanted to give the guests something to do at the party, besides just eating and visiting. The prizes we chose to give away added a little excitement and competition to the games, and were also part of our "Thank you" to our guests for coming. Many of our guests told us how much fun they had after the party, so overall, I think the games were a success!
On Saturday Derek and I had our gender reveal party!
When the guests first arrived, we had them vote for what they thought the baby was and pin on a pink or blue ribbon to go with their guess.
For the food we mostly did finger food or snack-type food. The party was in the middle of the afternoon, between lunch and dinner. My family offered to bring some food to the party, which was so sweet of them - it took alot of pressure off of me. We ended up with a nice spread!
Ignore the fact that I forgot to take the guacamole out of the package until after the picture. Whoops!
The menu included a veggie plate and fruit salad, tortilla chips and potato chips with accompanying dips, and potato rolls with tuna fish salad. To drink we just had lemonade, iced tea, coffee, and water.
Later on, after the reveal, we ate dessert. I made a blueberry and cherry pie (to stick with the boy/girl, blue/pink thing), and we also had an apple crisp with ice cream, and an adorable cupcake arrangement!
For decor I just did regular fall decorations. We had the party in the late fall, so it seemed appropriate, plus I can use them again for Thanksgiving. Derek liked that I just went with a fall party theme, instead of the pink and blue decorations. We didn't want it to feel too much like a baby shower, and he thought skipping the pink and blue decorations helped with that. It definitely had a normal party atmosphere, instead of a baby shower atmosphere, which probably made the men more comfortable.
We played several games as well. We split everyone into "Team Pink" and "Team Blue" depending on their guess. I'll explain the games we did in more detail in a seperate gender reveal party games post.
For some of the smaller prizes for the games, I bought mini Hershey bars and colored the "HE" blue, and the "SHE" pink in the word Hershey. We also gave away full-size candy bars and Starbucks giftcards. More on that to come.
Finally it was time for the big reveal! We decided to reveal the gender using a pinata. My wonderful husband, Derek, came up with that idea weeks ago - I thought it was pretty brilliant!
I filled the pinata with candy and on the back of one piece of candy I taped a little card with the gender. Whoever found the piece of candy with the card got to open it and reveal the gender to everyone else.
Alot of the guys had fun taking a swing at the pinata. My brother took the first swing and actually knocked the pinata off the string without breaking it! So we grabbed one of Derek's heavy-duty straps that we use to secure things to the back of the truck, and we hung it again.
When it broke there was a mad rush for the candy. My sister ended up finding the candy with the card on the back.
And it's a BOY!
Team Blue celebrating!
After the grand finale, we just ate the dessert and got to visit with everyone.
My grandma, mom, and me.
I also discovered that several of our family members ignored the clear statement on the invitations not to bring gifts, and they brought us presents anyway. It was actually very sweet! We got a pack of onesies, a wipe warmer, two sleepers, a baby carrier, a guardian angel figurine, an on-the-go diaper changing set, a pack of diapers, and several sweet cards! It made me feel pretty special to receive a few gifts (even though they disobeyed the "rule" to give them to us), so thanks to our families!
Overall, it went very smoothly, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves! Derek and I certainly did.
Click to read about our second gender reveal party, and more gender reveal party games!
When the guests first arrived, we had them vote for what they thought the baby was and pin on a pink or blue ribbon to go with their guess.
For the food we mostly did finger food or snack-type food. The party was in the middle of the afternoon, between lunch and dinner. My family offered to bring some food to the party, which was so sweet of them - it took alot of pressure off of me. We ended up with a nice spread!
Ignore the fact that I forgot to take the guacamole out of the package until after the picture. Whoops!
The menu included a veggie plate and fruit salad, tortilla chips and potato chips with accompanying dips, and potato rolls with tuna fish salad. To drink we just had lemonade, iced tea, coffee, and water.
Later on, after the reveal, we ate dessert. I made a blueberry and cherry pie (to stick with the boy/girl, blue/pink thing), and we also had an apple crisp with ice cream, and an adorable cupcake arrangement!
For decor I just did regular fall decorations. We had the party in the late fall, so it seemed appropriate, plus I can use them again for Thanksgiving. Derek liked that I just went with a fall party theme, instead of the pink and blue decorations. We didn't want it to feel too much like a baby shower, and he thought skipping the pink and blue decorations helped with that. It definitely had a normal party atmosphere, instead of a baby shower atmosphere, which probably made the men more comfortable.
We played several games as well. We split everyone into "Team Pink" and "Team Blue" depending on their guess. I'll explain the games we did in more detail in a seperate gender reveal party games post.
For some of the smaller prizes for the games, I bought mini Hershey bars and colored the "HE" blue, and the "SHE" pink in the word Hershey. We also gave away full-size candy bars and Starbucks giftcards. More on that to come.
Finally it was time for the big reveal! We decided to reveal the gender using a pinata. My wonderful husband, Derek, came up with that idea weeks ago - I thought it was pretty brilliant!
I filled the pinata with candy and on the back of one piece of candy I taped a little card with the gender. Whoever found the piece of candy with the card got to open it and reveal the gender to everyone else.
Alot of the guys had fun taking a swing at the pinata. My brother took the first swing and actually knocked the pinata off the string without breaking it! So we grabbed one of Derek's heavy-duty straps that we use to secure things to the back of the truck, and we hung it again.
When it broke there was a mad rush for the candy. My sister ended up finding the candy with the card on the back.
And it's a BOY!
Team Blue celebrating!
After the grand finale, we just ate the dessert and got to visit with everyone.
My grandma, mom, and me.
I also discovered that several of our family members ignored the clear statement on the invitations not to bring gifts, and they brought us presents anyway. It was actually very sweet! We got a pack of onesies, a wipe warmer, two sleepers, a baby carrier, a guardian angel figurine, an on-the-go diaper changing set, a pack of diapers, and several sweet cards! It made me feel pretty special to receive a few gifts (even though they disobeyed the "rule" to give them to us), so thanks to our families!
Overall, it went very smoothly, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves! Derek and I certainly did.
Click to read about our second gender reveal party, and more gender reveal party games!
Today I just wanted to reflect on how powerful our God is. I've been continually amazed over the past couple months by how He's been working not only in my life, but in the lives of those around me.
As you all know, Derek and I had trouble getting pregnant with this baby. Nothing I've been through has been quite so stressful, or painful.
I recently read this on a new blog I found: "I don't know how to explain the feeling of thinking, fearing, that you might not be able to conceive a child as a woman. It's such a sinking feeling. It's easy to obsess over. It makes you feel inadequate." That's exactly right. It can be a dark place to be.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
I know the Lord accomplished great things in my life through those months of infertility. He taught me to lean on Him, and trust that His plans, whatever they might be, were best. He taught me to look for the ways He was going to use this situation, and I felt assured that there is always a purpose, even when it's hard to see. I wrote several posts on my struggles, and I trust that He has used those posts to encourage others when they needed encouragement.
(If you are interested in those posts, see Babies And Being Content, The Fertility Factor, and To Trust Him (And A Good Cry) - that last one was actually written after I found out I was pregnant, but it's full of the lessons I learned during that time.)
One thing that really helped me through all those months of waiting were my "infertility buddies" as I like to call them. These were ladies that were going through much the same thing that I was, and we would spend time talking or e-mailing, encouraging each other and brainstorming on what to try next. I know the Lord placed them in my life - He knew that I would need them.
One of my infertility buddies was Amber. Amber and I went through almost every step of this struggle together. Amber was my very first follower and blogging friend, and we hit it off and ended up e-mailing each other regularly after that. She was the one who told me about the effects of the birth control pill (if you're pro-life, you need to click on the link and read that post), and we went off the pill at about the same time. We both realized we were having problems ovulating, and then we both ended up talking with our hubbies and deciding to try for babies right away. We both prayed for each other.
Then, by the Lord's grace, I got pregnant. His grace and goodness, not only in giving us this baby, but in the countless ways He showed me His faithfulness in the months prior to that, still amaze me.
". . . Pray for one another, that you may be healed." James 5:16b
Being pregnant only made my burden for my "infertility buddies" heavier. I know so many of you had prayed for me through those frustrating months, and my heart was heavy for my friends who weren't pregnant, but wanted to be. I started praying even harder for those I knew who were still trying, including Amber, who was being told by her doctors that she probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant without fertility treatments. (I hope you know that I still pray regularly for my dear friends who are still waiting for the Lord to grant them a baby - you know who you are).
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11
God is bigger than a prognosis. He can do anything He pleases, and He likes to surprise us.
Amber is pregnant! No, she didn't do any fertility treatments - in fact she had nearly given up hope of conceiving and had determined that she and her husband may just have to adopt all their children. But the Lord had other plans, and His plans are always the best plans!
(Amber just announced her pregnancy on her blog - head on over there and congratulate her, if you're so inclined!)
After I had written this post, I was made aware of another blogging friend with an amazing story of God's grace and plan in this area. You might all remember Jaime? She moved from a Blogger blog to a Wordpress blog earlier this year. She and her husband have walked through infertility for several years, and she became a mother to her sweet little boy, whom they adopted. I couldn't believe it when I read it, but after they had decided it was time to adopt again, Jaime found out she is pregnant! Amazing, what our God can do . . . head on over to Jaime's blog to read her full infertility and pregnancy story and congratulate her too!
These are just two stories (three, counting mine) of how the Lord has worked in mighty ways in the lives of ladies I know. There are other stories that I'm not at liberty to share right now. Maybe sometime in the future.
I just wanted to encourage you ladies who are still longing for a baby, and wondering if that day will ever come when it's your happy story on your blog. God is more powerful than a diagnosis. He is the Great Physician. He is the Giver of Good Things. Whether He chooses to open your womb, or whether He chooses to reflect His ultimate plan of love and redemption in your life through adoption, He knows what He's doing. He is powerful. And His plans and timing are always perfect.
"He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
He seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD."
Psalm 113:7-9
As you all know, Derek and I had trouble getting pregnant with this baby. Nothing I've been through has been quite so stressful, or painful.
I recently read this on a new blog I found: "I don't know how to explain the feeling of thinking, fearing, that you might not be able to conceive a child as a woman. It's such a sinking feeling. It's easy to obsess over. It makes you feel inadequate." That's exactly right. It can be a dark place to be.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
I know the Lord accomplished great things in my life through those months of infertility. He taught me to lean on Him, and trust that His plans, whatever they might be, were best. He taught me to look for the ways He was going to use this situation, and I felt assured that there is always a purpose, even when it's hard to see. I wrote several posts on my struggles, and I trust that He has used those posts to encourage others when they needed encouragement.
(If you are interested in those posts, see Babies And Being Content, The Fertility Factor, and To Trust Him (And A Good Cry) - that last one was actually written after I found out I was pregnant, but it's full of the lessons I learned during that time.)
One thing that really helped me through all those months of waiting were my "infertility buddies" as I like to call them. These were ladies that were going through much the same thing that I was, and we would spend time talking or e-mailing, encouraging each other and brainstorming on what to try next. I know the Lord placed them in my life - He knew that I would need them.
One of my infertility buddies was Amber. Amber and I went through almost every step of this struggle together. Amber was my very first follower and blogging friend, and we hit it off and ended up e-mailing each other regularly after that. She was the one who told me about the effects of the birth control pill (if you're pro-life, you need to click on the link and read that post), and we went off the pill at about the same time. We both realized we were having problems ovulating, and then we both ended up talking with our hubbies and deciding to try for babies right away. We both prayed for each other.
Then, by the Lord's grace, I got pregnant. His grace and goodness, not only in giving us this baby, but in the countless ways He showed me His faithfulness in the months prior to that, still amaze me.
". . . Pray for one another, that you may be healed." James 5:16b
Being pregnant only made my burden for my "infertility buddies" heavier. I know so many of you had prayed for me through those frustrating months, and my heart was heavy for my friends who weren't pregnant, but wanted to be. I started praying even harder for those I knew who were still trying, including Amber, who was being told by her doctors that she probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant without fertility treatments. (I hope you know that I still pray regularly for my dear friends who are still waiting for the Lord to grant them a baby - you know who you are).
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11
God is bigger than a prognosis. He can do anything He pleases, and He likes to surprise us.
Amber is pregnant! No, she didn't do any fertility treatments - in fact she had nearly given up hope of conceiving and had determined that she and her husband may just have to adopt all their children. But the Lord had other plans, and His plans are always the best plans!
(Amber just announced her pregnancy on her blog - head on over there and congratulate her, if you're so inclined!)
After I had written this post, I was made aware of another blogging friend with an amazing story of God's grace and plan in this area. You might all remember Jaime? She moved from a Blogger blog to a Wordpress blog earlier this year. She and her husband have walked through infertility for several years, and she became a mother to her sweet little boy, whom they adopted. I couldn't believe it when I read it, but after they had decided it was time to adopt again, Jaime found out she is pregnant! Amazing, what our God can do . . . head on over to Jaime's blog to read her full infertility and pregnancy story and congratulate her too!
These are just two stories (three, counting mine) of how the Lord has worked in mighty ways in the lives of ladies I know. There are other stories that I'm not at liberty to share right now. Maybe sometime in the future.
I just wanted to encourage you ladies who are still longing for a baby, and wondering if that day will ever come when it's your happy story on your blog. God is more powerful than a diagnosis. He is the Great Physician. He is the Giver of Good Things. Whether He chooses to open your womb, or whether He chooses to reflect His ultimate plan of love and redemption in your life through adoption, He knows what He's doing. He is powerful. And His plans and timing are always perfect.
"He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
He seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD."
Psalm 113:7-9
It is the first thing everyone asks you when they find out you're pregnant - do you know if it's a boy or girl? Apparently, the answer is what people want to know, and these days couples have been coming up with more interesting ways to reveal whether they'll be shopping for pink or blue items.
Gender reveal parties are a fairly recent trend - basically the parents-to-be keep the gender a secret until the party, then invite people and reveal the gender in some creative way. The gender could be revealed by cutting a cake with blue or pink icing on the inside, opening an envelope with the answer on the inside, opening a bag containing pink or blue balloons, or any other fun thing you can think of.
I have read several blogs about different gender reveal parties, and they all looked like such fun, so after we found out we were going to have a baby, I decided that I'd like to do one too. Derek was on board with the idea as well, so that was all the encouragement I needed. We're finding out the gender on October 26th, so we decided to do our party on October 30th, and I realized I needed to start brainstorming for ideas.
What better tool for brainstorming than Google, I ask you? So I sat down in front of the laptop and got to work.
I'm still working out all the details, but as I was searching the web for ideas, I came across a few different articles against gender reveal parties. I was kind of surprised, but I read the articles to see what the complaints were.
One person stated that they thought gender reveal parties were just an excuse to get more gifts. I clearly stated on our invitations that no one was to bring us gifts, so that one I dismissed. There's the baby shower still, and I agree that asking people to bring gifts for the gender reveal party and the baby shower is a bit much.
Other sites argued that gender reveal parties are narcissistic and obnoxious. They said it presumptuous to think that people are going to care that much about your baby's gender, and it's rude to ask everyone to give up an entire afternoon/evening to come to your party.
I guess in a way I can see their point. Maybe it is narcissistic to hold an entire party just to tell the gender of your baby. And maybe people really don't want to have to come to another party for you, and you shouldn't expect them to.
Derek and I hardly ever have barbecues or parties at our house, even though we'd like to have people over more often. But it seems weird to throw a party for no reason, other than the fact that we just wanted to have a get together. So when the gender reveal party idea presented itself, I jumped on it, because it was a good excuse to have my close family and friends over for some good food, games, and other party stuff.
Plus from everything else I read, it just looked like alot of fun. Personally, I love going to these kind of things, and I wish I knew more people getting married or graduating or having babies so that I could be invited to more parties. Maybe other people don't like going to these events as much as I do, but the thought never crossed my mind.
I don't think motivations for throwing a gender reveal party would always qualify as narcissistic. In my case, I'm not really expecting people to care about the gender as much as I do - to me, it was just a good excuse to have a party. I don't want anyone to bring me gifts. And I only invited my close family and friends who I thought would really like to come (my apologies if any of you really don't want to come, and please don't feel obligated to make an appearance).
What do you think? Do think the gender reveal party trend is narcissistic or obnoxious, or do you think it's just a fun idea? Would you throw a gender reveal party? I'm curious to know what you all think.
Photo credit.
Does anyone else have as much trouble with patience as I do?
I just realized this past week how impatient I can really get. I started thinking about it more after a Community Bible Study lecture last Wednesday - it was mainly on how we are sometimes called to wait for certain things in life.
But with today's culture, it's so hard to wait, is it not? We don't have to wait long for almost anything these days, and it makes it harder to cultivate the habit of patience.
After that lecture, I was a little more conscious of my impatient attitude. There are the long lines at the grocery stores. The slow people in the buffet line that sorely tempt you to line-jump. The frustration when the internet is a little slower than you think it should be. That irritation at the driver that's going 45 mph in a 50 mph zone (the nerve)!
Is it really that big of deal if I have to wait an extra 48 seconds for a web page to load? Or if I'm 5 minutes later getting to my destination by going less than the speed limit? Would it kill me to just be patient with the slow buffet-line people or check-out clerks?
I feel like I'm living in that old Alabama song, "I'm In A Hurry (And I Don't Know Why)".
The final nail in my proverbial coffin was Thursday night, when I read this passage:
"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.
He also told them a parable: 'Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.'"
Luke 6:38-42 (Emphasis Mine)
You know why this passage was so convicting this time I read it? It is because I realized that even though I have very little patience with other people, I expect them to be patient with me.
I get annoyed when that impatient driver shoots past me in the passing lane. I expect people to just deal with it while I count out my change to the cashier. And I think they're pretty rude if I see an eye-roll or hear an impatient remark (not that I'm ever that obvious - I just stew in my impatience on the inside).
Funny how we expect people to wait for us, but we don't graciously give them the same courtesy.
I don't know about you, but on this issue, I have a big old log in my eye.
"For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." More scary words.
I can't really expect others to be patient with me if I'm not patient with others myself, can I? I don't want that same measure I use on other people to be measured back to me. But it will be - that's what Jesus assured us of when He said that.
The only thing that can change would be my own measure.
I also know how important patience will be when I have this sweet baby. I'm not sure you can be a really good parent unless you have patience with your children, and it is important to me to be a good example to my children as well. I don't want them to grow up with an inability to wait because of my own failure in this area.
My new goal is to work on cultivating patience. Not only will this make me and my family generally happier and help me avoid the unpleasant experience of having my own impatient measure used on myself, but it is obeying God's command to be patient with others. And pleasing God is what ultimately matters in life.
And you know, patience is a virtue, after all!
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."
-John Quincy Adams
I just realized this past week how impatient I can really get. I started thinking about it more after a Community Bible Study lecture last Wednesday - it was mainly on how we are sometimes called to wait for certain things in life.
But with today's culture, it's so hard to wait, is it not? We don't have to wait long for almost anything these days, and it makes it harder to cultivate the habit of patience.
After that lecture, I was a little more conscious of my impatient attitude. There are the long lines at the grocery stores. The slow people in the buffet line that sorely tempt you to line-jump. The frustration when the internet is a little slower than you think it should be. That irritation at the driver that's going 45 mph in a 50 mph zone (the nerve)!
Is it really that big of deal if I have to wait an extra 48 seconds for a web page to load? Or if I'm 5 minutes later getting to my destination by going less than the speed limit? Would it kill me to just be patient with the slow buffet-line people or check-out clerks?
I feel like I'm living in that old Alabama song, "I'm In A Hurry (And I Don't Know Why)".
The final nail in my proverbial coffin was Thursday night, when I read this passage:
"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.
He also told them a parable: 'Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.'"
Luke 6:38-42 (Emphasis Mine)
You know why this passage was so convicting this time I read it? It is because I realized that even though I have very little patience with other people, I expect them to be patient with me.
I get annoyed when that impatient driver shoots past me in the passing lane. I expect people to just deal with it while I count out my change to the cashier. And I think they're pretty rude if I see an eye-roll or hear an impatient remark (not that I'm ever that obvious - I just stew in my impatience on the inside).
Funny how we expect people to wait for us, but we don't graciously give them the same courtesy.
I don't know about you, but on this issue, I have a big old log in my eye.
"For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." More scary words.
I can't really expect others to be patient with me if I'm not patient with others myself, can I? I don't want that same measure I use on other people to be measured back to me. But it will be - that's what Jesus assured us of when He said that.
The only thing that can change would be my own measure.
I also know how important patience will be when I have this sweet baby. I'm not sure you can be a really good parent unless you have patience with your children, and it is important to me to be a good example to my children as well. I don't want them to grow up with an inability to wait because of my own failure in this area.
My new goal is to work on cultivating patience. Not only will this make me and my family generally happier and help me avoid the unpleasant experience of having my own impatient measure used on myself, but it is obeying God's command to be patient with others. And pleasing God is what ultimately matters in life.
And you know, patience is a virtue, after all!
"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."
-John Quincy Adams
First of all, in case you missed it, congratulations to Brittney Galloway at Far More Than Rubies - she just announced that she and her hubby are going to have a baby! I'm so happy for you Brittney, I know you're going to make a wonderful mom!
Thought I'd better throw the above paragraph in there, because if you're anything like me and get way behind in your Google reader, you may have missed it! And it's super exciting news - very happy for you, Friend!
On to the regularly scheduled programming . . .
I have fond memories of the songs of my childhood.
My sweet mom must have gotten so tired of listening to kid's music tapes all the time. We didn't listen to the radio much in the car growing up - we mostly listened to our children's Bible tapes, some of my mom's Christian music tapes, and Christian radio. My mom was careful to make sure that we were listening to and watching good, pure things when we were young, and I so appreciate her desire to protect our minds now that I'm going to have a sweet baby of my own.
I plan to do the same with my kiddies. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem appropriate to be listening to songs about break-ups, hook-ups, drinking, or other bad stuff that sometimes get played on the radio when there are innocent, impressionable young minds listening. Nope, I'm going to constantly suffer through children's music too.
At least these days we have more resources to help us as parents. I plan on burning a couple "child friendly" country music CDs or playlists, filled with nice, innocent songs, and Derek and I could listen to that with the kids in the car sometimes. Plus there are way more Christian music radio stations now, which will be quite helpful too.
But I mainly want my children to listen to songs about Jesus. I want to teach them about Him and His love for us from a young age.
I'm so not up on all the new Christian child resources out there now. But here are some of my favorites from when I was a kid.
The Donut Man. I was very pleased to find out that Donut Man music is still around! It seems like all the really good ones disappear over time. These tapes (well, they're CDs now) are filled with fun Bible-related songs and even memory verses.
I think one of my favorites was The Centurion's Secret song, which told the story of the Centurion soldier who asked Jesus to heal his servant.
I also loved the whole Good Shephard album - lots of good songs on that one.
There are apparently a bunch of new ones too, and ones that we didn't happen to own when I was little, so the Donut Man website will be a good resource I think.
Another fun one is Psalty the Songbook. Just so happens that this one still exists too! I looked on the website and can not for the life of me figure out which album we had when I was a girl - we only had one Psalty tape. But just trust me, these are also good ones (especially the "Kid's Praise" albums - I have a feeling it was one of those).
One year for Christmas we each got a new Bible Song CD. We'd all listen to each other's CDs (weren't we so good at sharing?), and one of my favorites was my sister's CD. She got one of Steve Green's Hide 'Em In Your Heart albums. Basically it's just Bible verses put to music. Even to this day I still remember some verses because of those songs. I think this is an especially good thing for Christian kids to listen to, because it's just God's Word - and His words do not return empty but always accomplish the purpose for which He sent them (Isaiah 55 10-11).
Oh my goodness, Google is a wonderful invention! I wasn't sure I was going to find any of these CDs anymore, because they were made a long time ago - but with the help of Google I've found every one!
This one is just fun. The Rappin' Rabbit tape was one of our favorites as kids, just because it was so different from our other tapes and fun to listen to - but it still included good, godly principles in each of the songs. Unfortunately it appears that they are no longer making this one, but you never know, someone might decide to re-release it someday.
And that, my friends, is my "Bible Music For Kids" resource list. What kind of songs did you listen to when you were a child? Do you think they influenced you even as you grew up?
It's so refreshing to know that most of these are still available to buy. Makes me want to search for other items from my childhood before they all disappear.
Maybe I'll have to do another one of these posts on children's books . . .
Thought I'd better throw the above paragraph in there, because if you're anything like me and get way behind in your Google reader, you may have missed it! And it's super exciting news - very happy for you, Friend!
On to the regularly scheduled programming . . .
I have fond memories of the songs of my childhood.
My sweet mom must have gotten so tired of listening to kid's music tapes all the time. We didn't listen to the radio much in the car growing up - we mostly listened to our children's Bible tapes, some of my mom's Christian music tapes, and Christian radio. My mom was careful to make sure that we were listening to and watching good, pure things when we were young, and I so appreciate her desire to protect our minds now that I'm going to have a sweet baby of my own.
I plan to do the same with my kiddies. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't seem appropriate to be listening to songs about break-ups, hook-ups, drinking, or other bad stuff that sometimes get played on the radio when there are innocent, impressionable young minds listening. Nope, I'm going to constantly suffer through children's music too.
At least these days we have more resources to help us as parents. I plan on burning a couple "child friendly" country music CDs or playlists, filled with nice, innocent songs, and Derek and I could listen to that with the kids in the car sometimes. Plus there are way more Christian music radio stations now, which will be quite helpful too.
But I mainly want my children to listen to songs about Jesus. I want to teach them about Him and His love for us from a young age.
I'm so not up on all the new Christian child resources out there now. But here are some of my favorites from when I was a kid.
The Donut Man. I was very pleased to find out that Donut Man music is still around! It seems like all the really good ones disappear over time. These tapes (well, they're CDs now) are filled with fun Bible-related songs and even memory verses.
I think one of my favorites was The Centurion's Secret song, which told the story of the Centurion soldier who asked Jesus to heal his servant.
I also loved the whole Good Shephard album - lots of good songs on that one.
There are apparently a bunch of new ones too, and ones that we didn't happen to own when I was little, so the Donut Man website will be a good resource I think.
Another fun one is Psalty the Songbook. Just so happens that this one still exists too! I looked on the website and can not for the life of me figure out which album we had when I was a girl - we only had one Psalty tape. But just trust me, these are also good ones (especially the "Kid's Praise" albums - I have a feeling it was one of those).
One year for Christmas we each got a new Bible Song CD. We'd all listen to each other's CDs (weren't we so good at sharing?), and one of my favorites was my sister's CD. She got one of Steve Green's Hide 'Em In Your Heart albums. Basically it's just Bible verses put to music. Even to this day I still remember some verses because of those songs. I think this is an especially good thing for Christian kids to listen to, because it's just God's Word - and His words do not return empty but always accomplish the purpose for which He sent them (Isaiah 55 10-11).
Oh my goodness, Google is a wonderful invention! I wasn't sure I was going to find any of these CDs anymore, because they were made a long time ago - but with the help of Google I've found every one!
This one is just fun. The Rappin' Rabbit tape was one of our favorites as kids, just because it was so different from our other tapes and fun to listen to - but it still included good, godly principles in each of the songs. Unfortunately it appears that they are no longer making this one, but you never know, someone might decide to re-release it someday.
And that, my friends, is my "Bible Music For Kids" resource list. What kind of songs did you listen to when you were a child? Do you think they influenced you even as you grew up?
It's so refreshing to know that most of these are still available to buy. Makes me want to search for other items from my childhood before they all disappear.
Maybe I'll have to do another one of these posts on children's books . . .
Note: Once again, this is possibly a "too much information" post, and it's intended for female readers, especially those who are married. If you are a kid or a male reader, please skip this post. You've now been sufficiently warned.
Also please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I'm just summarizing some of the research I've done. Please consult your medical professionals with concerns. These posts include information as well as my opinions based on research I've done and are for your information only. They are not intended to replace proper medical diagnosis or treatment.
Someone recently asked me to explain how I monitor my fertility signs, and that led to yesterday's post on the Fertility Awareness Method. So if you haven't read that post, you might want to start there, and this post will make alot more sense.
Also, I'd like to redirect you to what got me started doing FAM over a year ago. At the time I was taking the birth control pill, and I learned some disturbing information that every woman taking the pill should be aware of, especially if you're pro-life. Please see my post "Important Information You Might Not Know" for more about that.
So let's jump right back into it, shall we?
Some Additional Signs Of Ovulation
There are a couple other signs that you may or may not notice around ovulation:
1. Ovulatory pain. Sometimes you'll get one-sided pain as your ovary releases an egg.
2. Ovulatory spotting. Sometimes you'll get a little spotting right around the time of ovulation, but it should only last a day or two, and it should be extremely light.
3. Anything really. The more you chart your cycles and are aware of when you ovulate, the more you may notice some signs that are unique to you. If you notice anything out of the ordinary around the time of ovulation, make a note of it on your chart - it may be a helpful clue for future cycles.
Charting
You should be recording your signs on a chart for easy reference later. You'll want to be able to look back on previous charts to see if you can identify a pattern, or if something isn't functioning properly you want to have the information at your fingertips so you can talk about it with your doctor. Plus for the temperature rise you often have to have it spelled out in front of you before you can see it.
The Bump's version of a fertility chart (Resource 1) is one chart that I have used in the past. After a while of dealing with confusing cycles, I actually bought a computer program that helps with charting your cycles (see Resource 2), and that's been helpful for me as well. There's a web-based version (Resource 3) of the software that is free, but it wasn't working properly when I tried it - they may have improved it since then. There are lots of different charts out there if you search for "Fertility Charts". Just pick the one you are most comfortable with and go for it.
Here's an example of a way to chart - you'll notice the different rows to record different signs. The chart should also include a row for you to record when you have intercourse, even though this one doesn't have that row.
For more information on charting, please see "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler (Resource 4). It has alot of good information on proper charting, and it also addresses special situations and how to interpret your chart correctly.
Menstrual Cycle Myth That You Should Know
You do not always ovulate on Day 14. In fact, many women do not ever ovulate on Day 14. So if you ovulate before then, that's perfectly fine. If you're on Day 22 of your menstrual cycle and you still haven't ovulated, that's perfectly fine. The beauty of this method is that you can actually know the precise day that you do ovulate, so when your doctor is all confused at how far along you are, you can let them know why (and they will be confused - doctors always expect you to ovulate on Day 14, even though they should know better).
Maybe I'm just a control freak, but I just like knowing. Every woman should know her body, and know her cycles - it does bring about a sense of control over things, as well as peace of mind, because you know what's going on with your body.
Plus, if you just assume that you'll ovulate on Day 14 and plan accordingly, you may totally miss your window of opportunity, or have a surprise and wonder how that happened. With this method you can know what's really going on.
If we had been planning on a Day 14 ovulation, we wouldn't be pregnant right now (I ovulated on Day 7). I wouldn't have expected to ovulate that early, but I was watching my signs, and I just had a feeling this was the real deal - and it was. And the Lord blessed us with this sweet baby.
When Things Aren't Working Right
If you start charting and things just aren't coming up right, it can be super-frustrating. Trust me, I know. It's even more frustrating if you're trying to get pregnant, because things need to be working right for that to happen.
A couple notes:
1. You can have bleeding even if you're not ovulating, but this doesn't qualify as a normal period, because a true period is always preceded by ovulation.
If you are having continuous bleeding, or very short lengths of time between periods, I'd recommend seeing a fertility doctor. Your body shouldn't be doing that, even if you just went off the pill. I'd recommend seeing a doctor you trust or a fertility specialist (because fertility specialists are more familiar with the way things can go wrong and the proper treatment than regular gynecologists are - at least that's been my experience).
2. You can have all the signs of ovulation and not actually ovulate - that's why it's important to chart all your signs. A shift in temperature or lack thereof, will confirm whether or not you really ovulated.
3. It's okay to be pro-active. If you haven't ovulated within 6 months of going off the pill, I say call up a fertility specialist and get going. I know they say if you're young, you don't qualify as infertile until you've been trying for a year - but if you're young, you shouldn't be gong six months without ovulating either. Your doctor might look at you weird at first, but stick to your guns, tell them why you think something's wrong, and don't let them make you feel weird about seeing them about your concerns. At this point you know your body, and it's not normal to go that long without ovulating. There's a little pep-talk for you.
Some Encouragement For When Things Aren't Working Right
1. You can ovulate any day. Even if you haven't had a period on months, you can ovulate on any day. Don't give up hope, be pro-active, and keep monitoring those signs.
2. Nothing is impossible with God. There is nothing He can't do, and miracles happen every day. If you've gone many months without ovulating it can be easy to get so discouraged that you throw in the towel, or have doubts about the Lord's plan - but He always has a plan. He always has plans to prosper you and not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). The fear comes when you're worried that His plans might not match up with your plans - but His plans are always better, even if we never understand the reason why. And He always works things out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
3. The Bible tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). It says that He will withhold no good thing from those walk uprightly, seek the Lord, and fear Him (Psalm 84:11, Psalm 34:10, Matthew 6:33). It also says that when two or more are gathered together in His name, He is there with them, and if two people on earth agree about anything that they ask the Lord, it will be done for them (Matthew 18:19-20).
The point of those verses - pray about it with your hubby! Pray as a couple that the Lord will grant you a child, and know that His plans are always better than our plans.
Cast your cares on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7), and then let it be. Trust in him fully, stop worrying, and you'll feel so much more at peace, with the kind of peace that only the Lord can give. Waiting and trusting in the Lord with a peaceful mind is a much better place to be than constantly worrying. And interestingly, if your more stressed you're more likely to have difficulty getting pregnant (Resource 5), so trusting the Lord is just better all the way around, for mind and body and babies.
Give it over to Him, and then let Him handle it. And know that I'm praying for you (ie. any of my followers who may be trying - and let me know if you want to and I'll add your specific name to my prayer list - I'd love to pray for you by name).
Some Closing Thoughts
There are so many benefits to using FAM, but one of the benefits that you may not expect when you first start out is increased appreciation for God's creation. When you think of creation, you tend to think of mountains and trees and oceans, but His creation includes our bodies.
Every time I go over this information again, I'm just struck with how perfectly the Lord designed our bodies. He designed it so that at the time of the month when you can get pregnant the sperm have a nice environment to live in, nice fluid to travel in, plus a nice lube to get the process of getting sperm in there easier. He designed it so that at the time that you can get pregnant, the sperm have an open path into your uterus and to your tubes. He designed it so at the moment that you may get pregnant, your body is already preparing a nice, warm environment to grow a baby in.
He certainly prepared everything perfectly so that we can fulfill His command to be fruitful and multiply. How anyone can look at the intricacies and perfect design of the reproductive process and not know there is a Creator is beyond me.
I guess that's why I like science and biology so much - every cell points to our Creator, and it never fails to leave me more in awe of Him. I hope you leave this series of posts with a renewed appreciation for the wonderful power of our Lord (and maybe a little motivation to get to know this aspect of His Creation better)!
Resources:
1. Fertility Chart, TheBump.com. http://images.thenestbaby.com/tools/pdfs/fertility_chart.pdf
2. Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software. www.tcoyf.com. I paid $40 for the software. Click here for a free 15 day trial of the software.
3. TCOYFweb, Web-based charting system. http://www.tcoyf.com/content/ApplicationDownload.aspx Still in the testing phase.
4. Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, Copyright 2002, 1995.
5. High Stress Levels May Delay A Woman Getting Pregnant, Study Suggests. August 17, 2010, Sciencedaily.com. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100817111658.htm Study performed by University of Oxford.
Also please note that I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I'm just summarizing some of the research I've done. Please consult your medical professionals with concerns. These posts include information as well as my opinions based on research I've done and are for your information only. They are not intended to replace proper medical diagnosis or treatment.
Someone recently asked me to explain how I monitor my fertility signs, and that led to yesterday's post on the Fertility Awareness Method. So if you haven't read that post, you might want to start there, and this post will make alot more sense.
Also, I'd like to redirect you to what got me started doing FAM over a year ago. At the time I was taking the birth control pill, and I learned some disturbing information that every woman taking the pill should be aware of, especially if you're pro-life. Please see my post "Important Information You Might Not Know" for more about that.
So let's jump right back into it, shall we?
Some Additional Signs Of Ovulation
There are a couple other signs that you may or may not notice around ovulation:
1. Ovulatory pain. Sometimes you'll get one-sided pain as your ovary releases an egg.
2. Ovulatory spotting. Sometimes you'll get a little spotting right around the time of ovulation, but it should only last a day or two, and it should be extremely light.
3. Anything really. The more you chart your cycles and are aware of when you ovulate, the more you may notice some signs that are unique to you. If you notice anything out of the ordinary around the time of ovulation, make a note of it on your chart - it may be a helpful clue for future cycles.
Charting
You should be recording your signs on a chart for easy reference later. You'll want to be able to look back on previous charts to see if you can identify a pattern, or if something isn't functioning properly you want to have the information at your fingertips so you can talk about it with your doctor. Plus for the temperature rise you often have to have it spelled out in front of you before you can see it.
The Bump's version of a fertility chart (Resource 1) is one chart that I have used in the past. After a while of dealing with confusing cycles, I actually bought a computer program that helps with charting your cycles (see Resource 2), and that's been helpful for me as well. There's a web-based version (Resource 3) of the software that is free, but it wasn't working properly when I tried it - they may have improved it since then. There are lots of different charts out there if you search for "Fertility Charts". Just pick the one you are most comfortable with and go for it.
Here's an example of a way to chart - you'll notice the different rows to record different signs. The chart should also include a row for you to record when you have intercourse, even though this one doesn't have that row.
For more information on charting, please see "Taking Charge Of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler (Resource 4). It has alot of good information on proper charting, and it also addresses special situations and how to interpret your chart correctly.
Menstrual Cycle Myth That You Should Know
You do not always ovulate on Day 14. In fact, many women do not ever ovulate on Day 14. So if you ovulate before then, that's perfectly fine. If you're on Day 22 of your menstrual cycle and you still haven't ovulated, that's perfectly fine. The beauty of this method is that you can actually know the precise day that you do ovulate, so when your doctor is all confused at how far along you are, you can let them know why (and they will be confused - doctors always expect you to ovulate on Day 14, even though they should know better).
Maybe I'm just a control freak, but I just like knowing. Every woman should know her body, and know her cycles - it does bring about a sense of control over things, as well as peace of mind, because you know what's going on with your body.
Plus, if you just assume that you'll ovulate on Day 14 and plan accordingly, you may totally miss your window of opportunity, or have a surprise and wonder how that happened. With this method you can know what's really going on.
If we had been planning on a Day 14 ovulation, we wouldn't be pregnant right now (I ovulated on Day 7). I wouldn't have expected to ovulate that early, but I was watching my signs, and I just had a feeling this was the real deal - and it was. And the Lord blessed us with this sweet baby.
When Things Aren't Working Right
If you start charting and things just aren't coming up right, it can be super-frustrating. Trust me, I know. It's even more frustrating if you're trying to get pregnant, because things need to be working right for that to happen.
A couple notes:
1. You can have bleeding even if you're not ovulating, but this doesn't qualify as a normal period, because a true period is always preceded by ovulation.
If you are having continuous bleeding, or very short lengths of time between periods, I'd recommend seeing a fertility doctor. Your body shouldn't be doing that, even if you just went off the pill. I'd recommend seeing a doctor you trust or a fertility specialist (because fertility specialists are more familiar with the way things can go wrong and the proper treatment than regular gynecologists are - at least that's been my experience).
2. You can have all the signs of ovulation and not actually ovulate - that's why it's important to chart all your signs. A shift in temperature or lack thereof, will confirm whether or not you really ovulated.
3. It's okay to be pro-active. If you haven't ovulated within 6 months of going off the pill, I say call up a fertility specialist and get going. I know they say if you're young, you don't qualify as infertile until you've been trying for a year - but if you're young, you shouldn't be gong six months without ovulating either. Your doctor might look at you weird at first, but stick to your guns, tell them why you think something's wrong, and don't let them make you feel weird about seeing them about your concerns. At this point you know your body, and it's not normal to go that long without ovulating. There's a little pep-talk for you.
Some Encouragement For When Things Aren't Working Right
1. You can ovulate any day. Even if you haven't had a period on months, you can ovulate on any day. Don't give up hope, be pro-active, and keep monitoring those signs.
2. Nothing is impossible with God. There is nothing He can't do, and miracles happen every day. If you've gone many months without ovulating it can be easy to get so discouraged that you throw in the towel, or have doubts about the Lord's plan - but He always has a plan. He always has plans to prosper you and not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). The fear comes when you're worried that His plans might not match up with your plans - but His plans are always better, even if we never understand the reason why. And He always works things out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
3. The Bible tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord, and He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). It says that He will withhold no good thing from those walk uprightly, seek the Lord, and fear Him (Psalm 84:11, Psalm 34:10, Matthew 6:33). It also says that when two or more are gathered together in His name, He is there with them, and if two people on earth agree about anything that they ask the Lord, it will be done for them (Matthew 18:19-20).
The point of those verses - pray about it with your hubby! Pray as a couple that the Lord will grant you a child, and know that His plans are always better than our plans.
Cast your cares on the Lord (1 Peter 5:7), and then let it be. Trust in him fully, stop worrying, and you'll feel so much more at peace, with the kind of peace that only the Lord can give. Waiting and trusting in the Lord with a peaceful mind is a much better place to be than constantly worrying. And interestingly, if your more stressed you're more likely to have difficulty getting pregnant (Resource 5), so trusting the Lord is just better all the way around, for mind and body and babies.
Give it over to Him, and then let Him handle it. And know that I'm praying for you (ie. any of my followers who may be trying - and let me know if you want to and I'll add your specific name to my prayer list - I'd love to pray for you by name).
Some Closing Thoughts
There are so many benefits to using FAM, but one of the benefits that you may not expect when you first start out is increased appreciation for God's creation. When you think of creation, you tend to think of mountains and trees and oceans, but His creation includes our bodies.
Every time I go over this information again, I'm just struck with how perfectly the Lord designed our bodies. He designed it so that at the time of the month when you can get pregnant the sperm have a nice environment to live in, nice fluid to travel in, plus a nice lube to get the process of getting sperm in there easier. He designed it so that at the time that you can get pregnant, the sperm have an open path into your uterus and to your tubes. He designed it so at the moment that you may get pregnant, your body is already preparing a nice, warm environment to grow a baby in.
He certainly prepared everything perfectly so that we can fulfill His command to be fruitful and multiply. How anyone can look at the intricacies and perfect design of the reproductive process and not know there is a Creator is beyond me.
I guess that's why I like science and biology so much - every cell points to our Creator, and it never fails to leave me more in awe of Him. I hope you leave this series of posts with a renewed appreciation for the wonderful power of our Lord (and maybe a little motivation to get to know this aspect of His Creation better)!
Resources:
1. Fertility Chart, TheBump.com. http://images.thenestbaby.com/tools/pdfs/fertility_chart.pdf
2. Taking Charge of Your Fertility Software. www.tcoyf.com. I paid $40 for the software. Click here for a free 15 day trial of the software.
3. TCOYFweb, Web-based charting system. http://www.tcoyf.com/content/ApplicationDownload.aspx Still in the testing phase.
4. Weschler, Toni. Taking Charge Of Your Fertility, Copyright 2002, 1995.
5. High Stress Levels May Delay A Woman Getting Pregnant, Study Suggests. August 17, 2010, Sciencedaily.com. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100817111658.htm Study performed by University of Oxford.
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