What I Never Knew About Friendship | A Guest Post

What I Never Knew About Friendship | Through Clouded Glass

I like to think of myself as a "life long learner". That phrase was first introduced to me in a 100 level education class when I was a freshman at Wheaton College. I have always love learning - and the more I learn the more I realize I have yet to learn. So, when I became a mom a little over a year ago, I knew that there were lots of things I was going to be learning. One area I was surprised that I needed to learn about was friendship. I thought I had the making-and-maintaining-friendships thing down pretty good...but it turns out that there were a few things I needed to learn and re-learn during this past year.

Things I never knew about friendship...

BFF, bosom buddy, pal, amiga, kindred spirit, buddy, homegirl...whatever your name is for a close girlfriend, I'm sure you can think of a few ladies in your life who fit the description of a true friend. Looking back on the friendships I have been apart of over the years, and the friendships that I have now, there are things I wish I would have known then and some things I have needed to remind myself about this past year.

In high school I wish I would have known that it is okay to be friends with people who have different interests than you. (It can even be good for you!) I attended a pretty typical high school - with the typical cliques that you see in every television show about high school. Athletes, smart kids, cool kids, artists, slackers, musicians...my school had a farm kid group... Anyway, I was a swimmer and in choir, and I tended to be friends with only people who also participated in those activities. Sometimes I think I may have missed out on some pretty great friendships because I didn't befriend girls who were in different activities or groups than I was. And I'm trying to keep this lesson in mind as I navigate the waters of making new mommy friends.

In college, I wish I would have known that friends will come and go, and that it is okay to let go of a friendship when the time comes to move on. When I moved to college, I was 400 miles away from anyone that I knew. And I spent a lot of time at first trying to hold on to friendships from high school. And even after college, when friends moved away again, I would spend a lot of time holding on to those friendships. Trying to maintain a friendship that was built on seeing a person every day is hard when that person moves away. And somewhere along the way I realized that while some friendships are life long, other friendships are only for a little while. And that is okay! In stead of being sad about a friend that you have grown apart from, be glad for the fun memories you have with that person. And even now I am trying to find the balance of keeping up with old friends and putting my energy towards developing new friendships.

What I Never Knew About Friendship | Through Clouded Glass
(Me with my 4 best friends from college on our graduation day

In the years since college, most of my very close girlfriends have moved away. And it has been a hard adjustment. I wish I would have known then that even when a true friend is far away, and you get to talk or spend time together once or twice a year, true friends can pick up right where they left off. I have 4 college girlfriends who now live all over the country. Last spring we got to spend a wonderful girls weekend together in Florida, and it was like we were back in college again having a sleepover. It was so refreshing to be with them, and such a special time. And even though it had been years since we had all been together, our time of fellowship was as sweet as ever.

What I Never Knew About Friendship | Through Clouded Glass
(Reunited in Florida for a girls weekend

Since becoming a mom, I have had a difficult time with friendships. Lately, I have found myself desiring a girlfriend with a little one the same age as my sweet Rebekah. A friend who is going through the same things I am right now that lives near by. I know that I can always talk to the friends I already have, and I am continually blessed by the wisdom of my girlfriends who have been mommies longer than I have. But I just feel the longing for someone to exchange encouragement and empathize with while learning to be a mother. I am on the look out for that someone - but I didn't know that nurturing a new friendship as an adult would be so hard. I guess I still have more things to learn about friendship...

Are there any experienced moms out there who have a tip for me about finding a new mommy friend? Comment below!

Veronica is the "V" in the blog Adventures of D and V. The "D" stands for Daniel, her husband, and their blog is all about (you guessed it) their day to day adventures! From adventures in DIY home improvement, to learning to cook gluten and dairy free, Daniel and Veronica love living life together. Their newest adventures had been being parents for the past year to their sweet little daughter. Veronica has loved making the transition to being a full time stay at home mom and as a former teacher, she is excited to begin teaching their daughter all about the wonderful world that God has made for us - and writing about it on the blog!

All The Things I Never Knew - A Guest Post Series | Through Clouded Glass
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