3 hours ago
This week has been exhausting for me.
Not so much physically, though we have been very busy. No, I'm emotionally exhausted. So much has happened this week.
Someone I know had a miscarriage.
Another announced their pregnancy.
Another friend got a negative pregnancy test again.
My dear childhood pen pal got engaged.
I read a blog post written by a lady who lost her baby in the third trimester.
A couple Derek and I are friends with welcomed their son into the world.
So much joy. So much pain. The contrast has never been so stark to me.
We are told in God's word to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). In my heart that's what I've been doing this week - but so many ups and downs. I honestly don't know whether to feel more happy or heartbroken.
It's times like these that my vision seems so clouded. The phrases "Thank you, Lord," and "Why?" are tangled up in my prayers.
Oh for the day when we shall "know fully", as 1 Corinthians 13 promises! When instead of peering through that dark glass we'll see everything plainly, as it is.
What a comfort it is to know that the same God who is pouring blessings this week on some of His children is also holding His struggling children by the hand! We are never alone, in the good times or the bad.
So this week, I'm crying with those who cry, and my heart is breaking for them. And I'm also laughing with those who laugh, praising the Lord for His faithfulness. And the two can be reconciled, because I can see God's hand working through it all.
"Weeping may endure for a night,
but joy cometh in the morning."
Psalm 30:5b
The bargain book section is irresistible to me. I love searching through the rows and rows of books at my local Christian bookstore and seeing if I can pick up anything good for under five bucks. Sometimes you end up getting what you pay for, but occasionally you find a gem hiding between the Christian chick-lit and the reference books.
The latest gem I've found is a book called "When Two Become Three: Nurturing Your Marriage After Baby Arrives" by Mark E. Crawford.
A new baby can sometimes be a challenge to a marriage, just because it's a change. It's completely normal for a baby to change your relationship - but you have to learn to work through the change together. I'm definitely up for improving our marriage relationship, so I snagged this book to see what it had to offer.
So far it's really good - I think it's completely relevant for any married couple, whether you have a new baby or not. And how much did I pay for it? All of three bucks.
Like I said, I love the bargain book section.
I read something in it yesterday that got me thinking:
" . . . A soulmate is created rather than discovered. In other words, if you and your spouse make a commitment to spend years together building a family, creating a mission statement, changing and evolving as people, celebrating life's best moments and sufering through life's worst moment's together, then after many years, you may find that the person you've traveled that journey with is, in fact, your soulmate. "
I had never thought about it that way before, but as I think about that quote now, it makes perfect sense. I think it's probably the best way to look at the marriage relationship.
If you expect that a soulmate is someone that you find, when you go through rough times in your relationship, you may start to think that you made a mistake, and that you didn't marry your "soulmate" after all.
But if you expect that as you travel through the hard times with your spouse, working through the issues in your relationship, going through all of life's changes, building your life together, that you will gradually grow to become soulmates . . . it makes every hard time and every conflict a challenge to overcome together, instead of a trial that can tear you apart.
All of a sudden, the status of being with your "soulmate" isn't something you may or may not find, but something you work toward together, something you achieve when you stick it out through every difficulty, something you can aspire to and reach someday with alot of prayer and effort and God's grace.
There is something precious and beautiful about that.
What do you think? Have you ever thought about the concept of "soulmates" in this way before?
The latest gem I've found is a book called "When Two Become Three: Nurturing Your Marriage After Baby Arrives" by Mark E. Crawford.
A new baby can sometimes be a challenge to a marriage, just because it's a change. It's completely normal for a baby to change your relationship - but you have to learn to work through the change together. I'm definitely up for improving our marriage relationship, so I snagged this book to see what it had to offer.
So far it's really good - I think it's completely relevant for any married couple, whether you have a new baby or not. And how much did I pay for it? All of three bucks.
Like I said, I love the bargain book section.
I read something in it yesterday that got me thinking:
" . . . A soulmate is created rather than discovered. In other words, if you and your spouse make a commitment to spend years together building a family, creating a mission statement, changing and evolving as people, celebrating life's best moments and sufering through life's worst moment's together, then after many years, you may find that the person you've traveled that journey with is, in fact, your soulmate. "
I had never thought about it that way before, but as I think about that quote now, it makes perfect sense. I think it's probably the best way to look at the marriage relationship.
If you expect that a soulmate is someone that you find, when you go through rough times in your relationship, you may start to think that you made a mistake, and that you didn't marry your "soulmate" after all.
But if you expect that as you travel through the hard times with your spouse, working through the issues in your relationship, going through all of life's changes, building your life together, that you will gradually grow to become soulmates . . . it makes every hard time and every conflict a challenge to overcome together, instead of a trial that can tear you apart.
All of a sudden, the status of being with your "soulmate" isn't something you may or may not find, but something you work toward together, something you achieve when you stick it out through every difficulty, something you can aspire to and reach someday with alot of prayer and effort and God's grace.
There is something precious and beautiful about that.
What do you think? Have you ever thought about the concept of "soulmates" in this way before?
My mom found a receipt in my kitchen cabinet the other day.
I was about to tell her to throw it away when she mentioned that it was from September 8, 2008. Two and a half years ago.
I was kind of curious to see if my buying habits have changed since then, so I grabbed it from my mom and took a look. Only four things were on the receipt.
A ball of yarn. Facial cleansing wipes. Knitting needles. And finally, a knitting "How To" book.
Those things may not seem particularly significant, but in an instant I remembered the day we bought those items.
Derek and I were newly married. It was an exciting time, but it was also a stressful time. We were both unemployed in September 2008.
Derek had resigned from his previous job because he was about to get a really good job as a financial analyst, but then the stock market did it's thing in 2008, and the company that was going to hire him started a hiring freeze and the job fell through.
I was fresh out of hygiene school and working for a temporary agency, when I had a needle-poke incident at one of my temp jobs. The lady who ran the agency became angry at me and acted like I did it on purpose, and didn't give me a single job after that.
Those four items were a huge treat for me, because we really couldn't afford them. But after several weeks of not working, I was getting bored and needed a project. I told Derek that I might like to start knitting again, and he took me to Wal-Mart to get some knitting needles, instructions, and yarn.
He was also very sweet and let me get the facial cleansing wipes. It's just nice to be able to remove all the makeup from your face, and something so simple was pretty exciting to me at the time, because we really didn't have money for things like that.
As I sat in my kitchen and looked at that old receipt, I realized again how far the Lord has brought us.
Two months later, Derek would get a job in a very difficult market that would pay the bills for almost two years. It was also a job that opened the door for the treasurer position he holds now.
I got a temporary job for the month of December that helped us through the holidays, and a few months after that the Lord led me to my current position, in an office that I love.
Those days of unemployment are a distant memory. I almost forget that they happened. But I shouldn't, because the Lord used that time of financial difficulty to bring us closer to Him, and to strengthen our newly formed marriage. And ultimately, He brought us through.
Sometimes it's hard to see the good in a situation, but hindsight really is twenty-twenty. As I look back on every major difficulty we have faced, though I may not have been able to see it at the time, I can truly say that the Lord really does work out everything for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)! What an amazing assurance!
How has the Lord taken a difficulty you've faced and worked it out for your good?
Oh, and as a sidenote, I never did finish that blanket that I started that September. It was a good distraction for a while, but then I got into a much more addicting hobby.
On September 18, I wrote my first blog post in over a year, followed by 585 more blog posts . . .
And the rest, as they say, is history.
I was about to tell her to throw it away when she mentioned that it was from September 8, 2008. Two and a half years ago.
I was kind of curious to see if my buying habits have changed since then, so I grabbed it from my mom and took a look. Only four things were on the receipt.
A ball of yarn. Facial cleansing wipes. Knitting needles. And finally, a knitting "How To" book.
Those things may not seem particularly significant, but in an instant I remembered the day we bought those items.
Derek and I were newly married. It was an exciting time, but it was also a stressful time. We were both unemployed in September 2008.
Derek had resigned from his previous job because he was about to get a really good job as a financial analyst, but then the stock market did it's thing in 2008, and the company that was going to hire him started a hiring freeze and the job fell through.
I was fresh out of hygiene school and working for a temporary agency, when I had a needle-poke incident at one of my temp jobs. The lady who ran the agency became angry at me and acted like I did it on purpose, and didn't give me a single job after that.
Those four items were a huge treat for me, because we really couldn't afford them. But after several weeks of not working, I was getting bored and needed a project. I told Derek that I might like to start knitting again, and he took me to Wal-Mart to get some knitting needles, instructions, and yarn.
He was also very sweet and let me get the facial cleansing wipes. It's just nice to be able to remove all the makeup from your face, and something so simple was pretty exciting to me at the time, because we really didn't have money for things like that.
As I sat in my kitchen and looked at that old receipt, I realized again how far the Lord has brought us.
Two months later, Derek would get a job in a very difficult market that would pay the bills for almost two years. It was also a job that opened the door for the treasurer position he holds now.
I got a temporary job for the month of December that helped us through the holidays, and a few months after that the Lord led me to my current position, in an office that I love.
Those days of unemployment are a distant memory. I almost forget that they happened. But I shouldn't, because the Lord used that time of financial difficulty to bring us closer to Him, and to strengthen our newly formed marriage. And ultimately, He brought us through.
Sometimes it's hard to see the good in a situation, but hindsight really is twenty-twenty. As I look back on every major difficulty we have faced, though I may not have been able to see it at the time, I can truly say that the Lord really does work out everything for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)! What an amazing assurance!
How has the Lord taken a difficulty you've faced and worked it out for your good?
Oh, and as a sidenote, I never did finish that blanket that I started that September. It was a good distraction for a while, but then I got into a much more addicting hobby.
On September 18, I wrote my first blog post in over a year, followed by 585 more blog posts . . .
And the rest, as they say, is history.
"When Princess Elizabeth and the Duke Of Edinburgh were married in 1947, many of the streets and parks of London were crowded with people, including royalty from all over the world. King Faisal II, the twelve year old king of Iraq, was there as well, but was not dressed in his finery. He was more interested in the prancing horses. When he pushed his way through the line of policemen to get a better view of the stallions, he was handled roughly. The next day an apology was printed in the papers, saying "King Faisal, we didn't know who you were."
I read the above story in a book entitled, Almost Empty: An Inside Look At The Passion Week by Stephen Davey. The story was shared after a discussion of some of Jesus last words, when he said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)
The story made me think. Little King Faisal was treated roughly because they didn't know he was the king.
When Jesus was crucified, the people who did it did not know that they were killing The King of Kings. He was not dressed in His heavenly "finery". He looked like any other man.
When the policemen of London realized their mistake, they were repentant because they had treated the young king is such a way.
It makes me wonder, did any of those who were there at the crucifixion later realize their mistake? How did they feel? Did they cry in prayer to our Lord and repent because "King Jesus, we didn't know Who You were."?
Whether or not those who actually did the deed realized their mistake, they were not the only ones guilty. I am guilty. So are you. Each one of us put Jesus there on the cross with our own sin. He died to pay for it. We may as well have put the nails in His hands ourselves.
The difference is, King Faisal had no control over how he was treated and probably made a fuss about the treatment he received, because he knew he shouldn't be treated that way as a king.
But Jesus knew what was going to happen to Him - he was in control of it. He chose that horrible mistreatment and torture in order to save us when we couldn't save ourselves.
What incredible love.
I'm sure King Faisal probably had to go through some sort of process to prove that he really was the king. Jesus also proved His true identity by coming back to life on the third day after his death!
Have you recognized Jesus for Who He really is? Have you received His forgiveness for the sins that put Him on that cross?
I don't know how King Faisal reacted to the apology in the London newspaper. But I know how Jesus reacts when we come to Him with a repentant heart for what we have done.
He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and welcomes us with open arms.
Just some food for thought on this Good Friday. May you all have a blessed Resurrection Day!
Amazing Love! How can it be? That thou my God shouldst die for me! -Charles Wesley
I read the above story in a book entitled, Almost Empty: An Inside Look At The Passion Week by Stephen Davey. The story was shared after a discussion of some of Jesus last words, when he said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)
The story made me think. Little King Faisal was treated roughly because they didn't know he was the king.
When Jesus was crucified, the people who did it did not know that they were killing The King of Kings. He was not dressed in His heavenly "finery". He looked like any other man.
When the policemen of London realized their mistake, they were repentant because they had treated the young king is such a way.
It makes me wonder, did any of those who were there at the crucifixion later realize their mistake? How did they feel? Did they cry in prayer to our Lord and repent because "King Jesus, we didn't know Who You were."?
Whether or not those who actually did the deed realized their mistake, they were not the only ones guilty. I am guilty. So are you. Each one of us put Jesus there on the cross with our own sin. He died to pay for it. We may as well have put the nails in His hands ourselves.
The difference is, King Faisal had no control over how he was treated and probably made a fuss about the treatment he received, because he knew he shouldn't be treated that way as a king.
But Jesus knew what was going to happen to Him - he was in control of it. He chose that horrible mistreatment and torture in order to save us when we couldn't save ourselves.
What incredible love.
I'm sure King Faisal probably had to go through some sort of process to prove that he really was the king. Jesus also proved His true identity by coming back to life on the third day after his death!
Have you recognized Jesus for Who He really is? Have you received His forgiveness for the sins that put Him on that cross?
I don't know how King Faisal reacted to the apology in the London newspaper. But I know how Jesus reacts when we come to Him with a repentant heart for what we have done.
He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west and welcomes us with open arms.
Just some food for thought on this Good Friday. May you all have a blessed Resurrection Day!
Amazing Love! How can it be? That thou my God shouldst die for me! -Charles Wesley
Do you ever notice that light, easy-read type posts generate alot more comments than the posts that are more thought-provoking or professional pieces?
I recently read a post by another blogger about how serious posts are far less popular than light posts on her blog, if you are judging popularity by the amount of comments received.
I've noticed the same thing on my blog. If you've been blogging for any length of time, and have written both serious and light-hearted posts, I'm sure you have noticed the same thing.
Why is that, do you think?
The writer of the post I read suggested that it's much easier to "skim" those light, easy-to-read posts. You can't quickly skim through a really in-depth post and make an intelligent comment.
I agree with that - it's all about time. It takes much less time to comment on a "fluffy" post than a "heavy" post.
But then I wonder, why don't we take the time to really read the posts that might change our view point, or encourage us, or make us think? Why don't we take the time to think of an intelligent response to challenge or encourage the person who wrote the post?
Sometimes it's easier not to think. Sometimes it's easier just to "skim" those easy-read posts and be entertained, rather than to read and evaluate deeper posts and possibly be challenged.
I'm guilty of reading posts that way. It's so much easier to choose the entertainment route when reading blogs. And when writing them.
Honestly though, the posts that really matter and make a difference are not the ones about how amazing my dessert was, or what I bought at the mall this week, or what I'm wearing for Easter (though I will still be writing those posts - because they are fun to read and write!).
But the posts that really make a difference in my little corner of the blog world are the ones that took thought and effort and time for me to write.
The posts that I read on other blogs that really make a difference to me are the ones that take thought and effort and time to read.
And it's worth the thought and effort, if we'll just take the time.
I recently read a post by another blogger about how serious posts are far less popular than light posts on her blog, if you are judging popularity by the amount of comments received.
I've noticed the same thing on my blog. If you've been blogging for any length of time, and have written both serious and light-hearted posts, I'm sure you have noticed the same thing.
Why is that, do you think?
The writer of the post I read suggested that it's much easier to "skim" those light, easy-to-read posts. You can't quickly skim through a really in-depth post and make an intelligent comment.
I agree with that - it's all about time. It takes much less time to comment on a "fluffy" post than a "heavy" post.
But then I wonder, why don't we take the time to really read the posts that might change our view point, or encourage us, or make us think? Why don't we take the time to think of an intelligent response to challenge or encourage the person who wrote the post?
Sometimes it's easier not to think. Sometimes it's easier just to "skim" those easy-read posts and be entertained, rather than to read and evaluate deeper posts and possibly be challenged.
I'm guilty of reading posts that way. It's so much easier to choose the entertainment route when reading blogs. And when writing them.
Honestly though, the posts that really matter and make a difference are not the ones about how amazing my dessert was, or what I bought at the mall this week, or what I'm wearing for Easter (though I will still be writing those posts - because they are fun to read and write!).
But the posts that really make a difference in my little corner of the blog world are the ones that took thought and effort and time for me to write.
The posts that I read on other blogs that really make a difference to me are the ones that take thought and effort and time to read.
And it's worth the thought and effort, if we'll just take the time.
Sometimes I just don't understand.
I've asked myself this question a million times - first from a broken heart because of my own fertility problems, and now from a breaking heart for dear friends who have been going through the same thing.
Why do some people who don't want their babies, and who won't love their babies, get pregnant at the drop of a hat, while godly, Christian couples who have prayed and longed for a baby can't get pregnant?
In theory, I know the answer. God can use these situations to reach others for Him, He can teach us lessons we never would have learned otherwise, He sees the big picture, we can see only a part of it. I know all this with my head. And in my heart I know and I believe that God is good and just, even though it may not seem fair.
But I think there will always be a little part of my heart that doesn't understand. Because I see so many friends who are trying for a baby, and they can't have one. And I don't understand why the Lord doesn't grant them that blessing, when they've done everything His way, and are continuing to try to do things right.
My heart breaks for those I know who are trying for their little blessings. And it's especially hard to see, because really there is nothing I can do.
Nothing except pray. When I mentioned to my mom my heartache because there is nothing I can do except pray for these dear friends, she responded by saying "Praying is the most powerful thing you can do, Callie."
I replied that sometimes prayer doesn't feel powerful. I've been praying for months and months, and nothing seems to change.
Of course I know with my head that prayer is the most powerful thing. But my deceptive heart doesn't always believe it.
You know what's amazing? When I start to lose heart in my prayer life, the Lord always finds a way to give me a glimmer of hope. That's what happened this past week as I found out that two ladies who were on my baby prayer list are pregnant.
I know prayer is powerful.
I know God is just and good.
I know there is always a reason.
I know that I may not always understand, but I'll continue to trust Him and believe that He has a plan that is so much better than what I can understand.
That, after all, is what faith is.
P.S. I seriously do have a prayer list of lovely ladies who are trying to get pregnant. If I know you are trying, rest assured that you are on it, and I'm praying for you - and I'll continue to pray for you until I hear the happy news! If I don't know you are trying, I would love to pray for you as well - just shoot me an e-mail saying you want to be on the list, and I'll know what you're talking about. It gives me a thrill when I can write a P.T.L. after one of your names!
Have you ever been wronged by someone? Oh, I'm sure most of you have. Or if you haven't been personally wronged by someone, someone could have wronged someone you love. Either circumstance will suffice for my point.
It's really easy for me to hold grudges. It's really hard for me to let something go.
Now, I don't think it's unreasonable to guard your heart after someone has broken it once already. Someone can hurt you, and you can fully forgive them, but that doesn't mean you have to fully trust them again - in fact in some instances, it might be foolish to trust that person again.
But I'm not talking about simply withholding trust or guarding your heart, which I don't see anything wrong with - I'm talking about grudges.
You know you're holding a grudge when everything that person does annoys you, because of the way they treated you in the past.
You know you're holding a grudge when you compare that person's current actions, good or bad, with the way they treated you in the past.
You know you're holding a grudge when you immediately think the worst of that person in any given circumstance, because if they could treat you in such a way, then how could their motivation for anything else be good?
Yes, I can hold a pretty mean grudge.
And it's so, so wrong.
It doesn't matter if I was completely blameless in the situation where someone may have hurt me. It doesn't matter if they were completely in the wrong. It doesn't matter if they won't apologize.
If I don't forgive them, and let go of my grudge, then I'm the one who's wrong. I'm the one who's going to have to explain my bad attitude to the Lord someday.
You know what else I've learned? Grudges build walls. Obviously between you and the other person, but also between you and the Lord.
Sometimes when I wonder why I'm going through such a dry period, I look at my life and realize that something in my attitude is hindering me from fellowshipping with my Heavenly Father in the way that I want to.
And very often it's a grudge. Accompanied by pride, a self-righteous attitude, and unforgiveness.
This is a very ugly part of my heart. I wish it would go away. But the only way it will is through alot of prayer, and a conscious effort to change my attitude. Both of which take time.
But in the end it's worth all the time and effort - because I want to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles". I want to "run the race marked out for [me], fixing my eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews 12:1-2).
Your eyes can't be fixed on Jesus when your holding a grudge in front of your face.
It's really easy for me to hold grudges. It's really hard for me to let something go.
Now, I don't think it's unreasonable to guard your heart after someone has broken it once already. Someone can hurt you, and you can fully forgive them, but that doesn't mean you have to fully trust them again - in fact in some instances, it might be foolish to trust that person again.
But I'm not talking about simply withholding trust or guarding your heart, which I don't see anything wrong with - I'm talking about grudges.
You know you're holding a grudge when everything that person does annoys you, because of the way they treated you in the past.
You know you're holding a grudge when you compare that person's current actions, good or bad, with the way they treated you in the past.
You know you're holding a grudge when you immediately think the worst of that person in any given circumstance, because if they could treat you in such a way, then how could their motivation for anything else be good?
Yes, I can hold a pretty mean grudge.
And it's so, so wrong.
It doesn't matter if I was completely blameless in the situation where someone may have hurt me. It doesn't matter if they were completely in the wrong. It doesn't matter if they won't apologize.
If I don't forgive them, and let go of my grudge, then I'm the one who's wrong. I'm the one who's going to have to explain my bad attitude to the Lord someday.
You know what else I've learned? Grudges build walls. Obviously between you and the other person, but also between you and the Lord.
Sometimes when I wonder why I'm going through such a dry period, I look at my life and realize that something in my attitude is hindering me from fellowshipping with my Heavenly Father in the way that I want to.
And very often it's a grudge. Accompanied by pride, a self-righteous attitude, and unforgiveness.
This is a very ugly part of my heart. I wish it would go away. But the only way it will is through alot of prayer, and a conscious effort to change my attitude. Both of which take time.
But in the end it's worth all the time and effort - because I want to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles". I want to "run the race marked out for [me], fixing my eyes on Jesus" (Hebrews 12:1-2).
Your eyes can't be fixed on Jesus when your holding a grudge in front of your face.
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